Almost given up on meeting someone with similar interests..

[clear_sky]

And by 'similar interests', I mean someone who isn't opposed to me being a member of the BL community. Or judges me on the lifestyle that goes along with it.
And it's not like my lifestyle is even hardcore in that sense.
These days I'm into some benzos, occassionally, just to chill out.
I work heaps, I look after myself (exercise and healthy food), I'm not a junkie dole bludger.
But I guess that's the stigma that goes with using anything these days.
All the guys I meet fall into two categories:
1 - Interested in the lifestyle but take it way too far, no harm reduction for them - I don't want to be around that kind of thing, I'm over it.
2 - Become judgmental of my lifestyle, try to change me (because they know best and I'm just a stupid girl - I know they mean well) and it all goes downhill from there.

I just want to get to know someone intelligent, non judgmental, someone who believes I know what I'm doing, and who has the presence of mind, when necessary, to say - "time to get back to reality and look after ourselves."

Surely I'm not asking for too much??

 

[i against i]

can we meet up?

there are guys out there for you, just gotta keep searchin'

 

[clear_sky]

Thanks for your kind words, hun

But where to search?
I live in a small Aus city, the rave scene here died a long time ago, the clubs are full of seedy creepy people..
The people from the rave scene are trying to outdo each other by getting more and munted while growing old. As opposed to maturing.
I rarely think about this sort of thing these days.. eventually coming to the conclusion that this is unanswerable.
And I'm sure I'm not the only one.

 

[llama112]

I have found, that when you stop looking, there is a better chance of finding someone.
I mean, don't eliminate yourself completely from the dating scene. But don't always be on the search to find someone.

I actually know a surprising amount of people who are drug users but also know a bit about harm reduction. They may not be quite as into it as me, but it is a start. Quite a few people I meet at clubs, parties, raves, etc. know the risks.

Good luck

 

[morpher001]

And by 'similar interests', I mean someone who isn't opposed to me being a member of the BL community. Or judges me on the lifestyle that goes along with it.
And it's not like my lifestyle is even hardcore in that sense.
These days I'm into some benzos, occassionally, just to chill out.
I work heaps, I look after myself (exercise and healthy food), I'm not a junkie dole bludger.
But I guess that's the stigma that goes with using anything these days.
All the guys I meet fall into two categories:
1 - Interested in the lifestyle but take it way too far, no harm reduction for them - I don't want to be around that kind of thing, I'm over it.
2 - Become judgmental of my lifestyle, try to change me (because they know best and I'm just a stupid girl - I know they mean well) and it all goes downhill from there.

I just want to get to know someone intelligent, non judgmental, someone who believes I know what I'm doing, and who has the presence of mind, when necessary, to say - "time to get back to reality and look after ourselves."

Surely I'm not asking for too much??

You worry to much about other people judging you, it seems to be giving you a hostile attitude. Perhaps you worry because you are so judgmental yourself.

So the guys you have met fall into two categories.

1. do more drugs than you, and you judge them for it.
2. guys who do less drugs than you, and how dare they judge you for it.

You want an intelligent guy who never judges you and has absolute faith in you (i.e. never question your judgement); yet will 'when necessary' question your judgement.

Yes you are asking too much and have some growing up to do.

 

[ebola?]

Really, there are a few other qualities in a partner that I find more key than substance usage habits. However, general open-mindedness is one of them, and this leads to acceptance of both my drug use habits and my interest as a psychopharmacology geek proper.

ebola

 

[clear_sky]

Thanks, llama112.
I'm not in a constant search, I have found that leads to too much hassle. Whatever happens happens, when the universe decides it's time. I just wish it would hurry up and decide already

Perhaps you worry because you are so judgmental yourself.

So the guys you have met fall into two categories.

1. do more drugs than you, and you judge them for it.
2. guys who do less drugs than you, and how dare they judge you for it.

I'm aware that I tend to be judgmental at times, and it's something I'm consciously working to improve within myself.

It's not about the more/less drugs and subsequent judgement - it's more about the way these things start to affect my lifestyle. I'm mature enough to be with someone, accept them the way they are and let them do their own thing as long as: my personal space is not taken over by tonnes of their friends for week-long parties (which has been my experience with those guys who party harder). Or, the other extreme (ones who do not party/use) seems to be that they are accepting of my lifestyle until a certain period of time passes, at which point they feel like they have the right to change me and start telling me what to do for my own good.

I don't care about them judging me. I just don't want my lifestyle altered. I'm happy with it and know what I'm doing, I do not cause myself or others any harm.



Ebola,

The only reason that usage habits are an issue of sorts for me, is because it seems to be an issue for so many other people.

 

[FlippingTop]

Y
So the guys you have met fall into two categories.

1. do more drugs than you, and you judge them for it.
2. guys who do less drugs than you, and how dare they judge you for it.

I was just thinking the same thing...

 

[thujone]

Thanks for your kind words, hun

But where to search?
I live in a small Aus city, the rave scene here died a long time ago, the clubs are full of seedy creepy people..
The people from the rave scene are trying to outdo each other by getting more and munted while growing old. As opposed to maturing.
I rarely think about this sort of thing these days.. eventually coming to the conclusion that this is unanswerable.
And I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Ever thought of moving somewhere else? I've moved around a fair bit the past few years and found that living in a place that can't feed my interests is truly depressing. You're also a lot more likely to find people with similar interests in general in a big city; people in general are more progressive thinkers. Moving can be a big decision but hey, if you've been in a rut for a while and it could change your life then maybe it's worth the shot.

 

[clear_sky]

Ever thought of moving somewhere else? I've moved around a fair bit the past few years and found that living in a place that can't feed my interests is truly depressing. You're also a lot more likely to find people with similar interests in general in a big city; people in general are more progressive thinkers. Moving can be a big decision but hey, if you've been in a rut for a while and it could change your life then maybe it's worth the shot.

Thank you for your constructive advice
It would be a huge decision for me, I am very settled where I am... But it's definitely not an impossibility.
And I'll be giving it some more thought, now that you have pointed it out

 

[PlurPsyed]

I find that proving that you can be successful despite the way you have fun on the side tends to ease the judgment a bit you face from non-users. If you can show that you can outdo them in areas of life that are important to them, they can't say shit to you about you habits.

 

[Busty St Clare]

Just start dating another Bluelighter, it has worked for me.

 

[clear_sky]

I find that proving that you can be successful despite the way you have fun on the side tends to ease the judgment a bit you face from non-users. If you can show that you can outdo them in areas of life that are important to them, they can't say shit to you about you habits.

Yes, that makes complete sense in theory and I've tried that angle.
Unfortunately, everyone I've tried it with ends up wanting to change me.
Apparently, for my own good. Hahaha.
All I can do is keep trying, I guess

Just start dating another Bluelighter, it has worked for me.

Great idea! I'm guessing that kicks off in The Lounge?
I can't post in there just yet

 

[Busty St Clare]

Just be prepared if you both end up modding the same forum that you will start insulting each other in internet memes or threaten to troll their forum for the lulz

 

[morpher001]

Great idea! I'm guessing that kicks off in The Lounge?
I can't post in there just yet

FYI

The lounge is just a competition to see who can be the biggest asshole, the weirdest looper, the sluttiest slut, the brownest brown nose and/or the most boring post accumulating spam artist.

Going to the lounge to find a lover would be like sticking your head down a public toilet for a refreshing drink.

 

[clear_sky]

i haven't really checked out The Lounge yet, pure assumption on my part that it was a worthwhile socialising-type forum.
thanks for the heads up

 

[B1tO'RoughJack]

FYI

The lounge is just a competition to see who can be the biggest asshole, the weirdest looper, the sluttiest slut, the brownest brown nose and/or the most boring post accumulating spam artist.

Going to the lounge to find a lover would be like sticking your head down a public toilet for a refreshing drink.

that's one pessimistic and realistic way of looking at it, but I frequent it and it's totally possible to find a diamond in the rough...same as anywhere on this world - so you might as well OP, you might find someone in AU who's fucking hilarious and shares your values...there are a few Aussies there - at least 4 that I can think of.