True, I don't have a true "existentialist's grasp" on the concept, and that's why I made this thread, so I could hear some opinions on it. I never really understood just what the hell was wrong with guys like Kierkegaard and Sartre. Especially Kierkegaard. What troubled young man...totally not enjoying the "essence of life."
This is true, Kierkegaard was tormented throughout his life, particularly with religious questions. While Kierkegaard was certainly the father of existentialism, he is not an existentialist as it would be known in the twentieth century by way of thinkers like Sartre, Camus, de Beauvoir, etc., with one of the main reasons being Kierkegaard was a Christian, whereas the other existentialists (except Jaspers and Dostoevsky) were atheists. Additionally, Kierkegaard predated the 'essence vs. existence' question. Kierkegaard was concerned, among many other things, with the paradox of faith, particularly in the biblical case of Abraham: God commands Abraham to kill his only son--Isaac--even though Isaac is his only heir, Abraham takes his son to the Mt. Moriah to sacrifice him, an angel pops in at the last second and commands Abraham to stop. Kierkegaard says we are all in Abraham's position (that is, confronted by an absurd situation) on a daily basis, and the only way to escape it is through a subjective, personal affirmation of the absurdity of existence, or 'leap', as Kierkegaard's position has come to be called. Sartre and Camus offer similar solutions to the absurd, meaningless nature of the world, although they are decidedly non-religious affirmations.
Anyway, what I want to get at is the essence you are interested in. Although you said you couldn't give an adequate explanation for it, what does it mean to you? To Sartre, something like a paper-weight has an essence. It was created by humans with the conscious intention of being a paper-weight. However, because there is no God (based on Sartre's argument that something can't be simultaneously totally free [humans] and completely fixed [matter and everything but human consciousness], which is the definition he sets forth for God), humans weren't created and thus don't have essences. Or, in the case of humans, the waiter at a restaurant or the student at school may be convinced that he essentially is a 'waiter' or 'student', but the truth is the only thing keeping him in that position is his continued free choice.
I am sympathetic to essences, however, and would like to hear your views more. What sort of evidence do you have? Is it a feeling or intuition? To Sartre that probably wouldn't be enough, because feelings and intuitions are products of human experience, and not part of the thing itself.
Ultimately, I've personally found some utility from existential philosophy, if only because I seem to be confronted by an almost incomprehensibly complex reality every day. Although I'm not sure if I want to say that reality is by nature absurd, there are elements which seem absurd: I didn't choose to be born, no one else tells me what to do, how to act, who to be, etc. and there doesn't seem to be any completely sufficient answers to these questions.