I think i left my shoes in Ohio,
In that hotel room where it felt good to finally get some sleep,
In a state that is not this one.
There were no unpaid bills piled up on the desk in that room,
Like there are in this one,
And there weren't any tattered memories hanging up on the walls.
I think i could have stayed there forever.
There was a boy there who pencilled me in,
When sometimes here, it is hard to get pencilled in,
And it felt good to talk about life,
And all these things we didn't know about each other...
and then he was gone too.
Outside there is a guy yelling about the way i parked,
And tonight there will probably be somebody bitching about their soup not being hot enough,
Or their martini not being strong enough,
And i want to tell them all to just...go fuck themselves,
But i sit here in my pink hoodie,
Swallowing the words of frustration,
And i just cry.
More and more everyday i realize how the highlight of my week
Is buying a new candle,
Or relaxing in a hot bath,
But what i really want,
Is to feel like i have something
That is worth sticking around for
Because all these things...
The pictures on the walls, the pikachu's in my car,
The thoughts in my head,
They aren't worth shit these days,
And all i really want is all those feelings that i'm missing...
The way it feels to laugh through tears,
The way it feels when someone lifts you off your feet in a hug,
The way it feels to drive yourself nuts thinking about someone,
The way it feels to have a place in this world,
Where random people aren't just taking everything out on you,
And where everything isn't so finely scheduled,
To the point where you haven't left yourself with any time to LIVE.
All these things... paychecks, degrees, pats on the back...
i dont need them.
i would settle for that "Happy Valentine's Day" that you didn't even bother to say,
or a phone call out of the blue...
or acceptance of apologies that are long overdue.
Being 2nd on every fucking list...
Next to this guy's job, or this guy's girlfriend, or this guy's "figuring himself out"
Is just as bad as not being on their list at all.
There's something that keeps me here,
Forces me to be here,
To have sleepness nights in this bed,
And to be civil to all the ignorant fucks at my job,
And to pretend to be happy, when i'm really not.
All these things...
They add up over time.
Like pictures in a shoebox
or bills you forgot to pay...
All these things...
sometimes, they made me want to run away.
...but to where?
[ 19 February 2003: Message edited by: E-girl ]
In that hotel room where it felt good to finally get some sleep,
In a state that is not this one.
There were no unpaid bills piled up on the desk in that room,
Like there are in this one,
And there weren't any tattered memories hanging up on the walls.
I think i could have stayed there forever.
There was a boy there who pencilled me in,
When sometimes here, it is hard to get pencilled in,
And it felt good to talk about life,
And all these things we didn't know about each other...
and then he was gone too.
Outside there is a guy yelling about the way i parked,
And tonight there will probably be somebody bitching about their soup not being hot enough,
Or their martini not being strong enough,
And i want to tell them all to just...go fuck themselves,
But i sit here in my pink hoodie,
Swallowing the words of frustration,
And i just cry.
More and more everyday i realize how the highlight of my week
Is buying a new candle,
Or relaxing in a hot bath,
But what i really want,
Is to feel like i have something
That is worth sticking around for
Because all these things...
The pictures on the walls, the pikachu's in my car,
The thoughts in my head,
They aren't worth shit these days,
And all i really want is all those feelings that i'm missing...
The way it feels to laugh through tears,
The way it feels when someone lifts you off your feet in a hug,
The way it feels to drive yourself nuts thinking about someone,
The way it feels to have a place in this world,
Where random people aren't just taking everything out on you,
And where everything isn't so finely scheduled,
To the point where you haven't left yourself with any time to LIVE.
All these things... paychecks, degrees, pats on the back...
i dont need them.
i would settle for that "Happy Valentine's Day" that you didn't even bother to say,
or a phone call out of the blue...
or acceptance of apologies that are long overdue.
Being 2nd on every fucking list...
Next to this guy's job, or this guy's girlfriend, or this guy's "figuring himself out"
Is just as bad as not being on their list at all.
There's something that keeps me here,
Forces me to be here,
To have sleepness nights in this bed,
And to be civil to all the ignorant fucks at my job,
And to pretend to be happy, when i'm really not.
All these things...
They add up over time.
Like pictures in a shoebox
or bills you forgot to pay...
All these things...
sometimes, they made me want to run away.
...but to where?
[ 19 February 2003: Message edited by: E-girl ]
