• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

All i ever wanted was a home

All the tacos

All the tacos

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 2, 2021
Messages
131
I just need somewhere to vent a bit.
Currently im still living in my van. For awhile i was parking behind a vacant rental space next door to my work. It had a nice dark corner i could back into and i felt safe. I could put up some dark sheets for a bit of privacy from the random passer-by and i never got bothered. Well that space got tented and its now a used appliance store so now im stuck sleeping in parkinglots.
My anxiety is through the roof again from not sleeping well and there have been moments i have got the urge to stick a needle in my arm so bad that i almost give in.

On top of all this i have to have a colonoscopy next month due to repeated diverticulitis episodes. I make to much money to qualify for assistance so im paying out of pocket.
I dont have a home to prep for this procedure so i have to rent a room for a couple nights.

On a good note i have been able to save some money for a place for me and my daughter who is staying with her mom for now. She hates it there and has been pressuring me to find a place but all these things keep coming up. My van needs work and im hoping it makes it through the winter.

I was hoping to get more things accomplished before im committed to rent and bills again. There a lot of little things that have been chipping away at my ability to put back more money like gas, always having to eat out and rooms when its to cold to sleep in my van.

Oh and i have no friends cause i have trust issues and got tired of being used or pressured to drink just to hang out. So i guess you guys are my friends now.
I also want to warn yall i can be bi polar as fuck at times. Ill be feeling like putting an end to it all one moment and next day im having time of my life.
Thanx for reading. I have no life at the moment and just need a friend even if it is a bunch of strangers ill probably never meet.
 
If you don’t mind me asking man where about you from? I wish I had advice all I can say is you seem to be one of those individuals that shouldn’t be homeless. If you have a job you should have a damn roof over your head, wish you the best on better living or at least a better parking spot soon!

-GC
 
i am your friend, we are blood, erm tacobrothers now(tho im a female) i been where you been, i prayed n dreamt of having a van, years went by, got it, then i wished and longed for a home, i got it, i always get what i want, but not when i want it, so even tho its so cheesy , keep the faith, focus on this desire but live in the present too, ugh, easier said than done, but as a nobody, im so fukkn proud of you, you arent slamming or drinking your future away and reaching out when its freezing, working hard .Remember you can vent , tell all of us to bite the big one and or share your joys, BL is here for you::HUG:::
You Are Not Alone Love GIF by Chippy the Dog
 
All the tacos said:
I just need somewhere to vent a bit.
Currently im still living in my van. For awhile i was parking behind a vacant rental space next door to my work. It had a nice dark corner i could back into and i felt safe. I could put up some dark sheets for a bit of privacy from the random passer-by and i never got bothered. Well that space got tented and its now a used appliance store so now im stuck sleeping in parkinglots.
My anxiety is through the roof again from not sleeping well and there have been moments i have got the urge to stick a needle in my arm so bad that i almost give in.

On top of all this i have to have a colonoscopy next month due to repeated diverticulitis episodes. I make to much money to qualify for assistance so im paying out of pocket.
I dont have a home to prep for this procedure so i have to rent a room for a couple nights.

On a good note i have been able to save some money for a place for me and my daughter who is staying with her mom for now. She hates it there and has been pressuring me to find a place but all these things keep coming up. My van needs work and im hoping it makes it through the winter.

I was hoping to get more things accomplished before im committed to rent and bills again. There a lot of little things that have been chipping away at my ability to put back more money like gas, always having to eat out and rooms when its to cold to sleep in my van.

Oh and i have no friends cause i have trust issues and got tired of being used or pressured to drink just to hang out. So i guess you guys are my friends now.
I also want to warn yall i can be bi polar as fuck at times. Ill be feeling like putting an end to it all one moment and next day im having time of my life.
Thanx for reading. I have no life at the moment and just need a friend even if it is a bunch of strangers ill probably never meet.
Click to expand...
plus youre one good looking mother fukker, jeez, beards nice but you could be in film,,,,,cutting edge porn or,,oh silly me,,,,and hey, im a lezbo, so you know thats a sincere compliment (wheres my smile?) know you have that beard so you dont waste any tacoooooooooo
 
G_Chem said:
If you don’t mind me asking man where about you from? I wish I had advice all I can say is you seem to be one of those individuals that shouldn’t be homeless. If you have a job you should have a damn roof over your head, wish you the best on better living or at least a better parking spot soon!

-GC
Click to expand...
Im in kansas. Im not sure of the rules for posting exact location
 
Robi said:
plus youre one good looking mother fukker, jeez, beards nice but you could be in film,,,,,cutting edge porn or,,oh silly me,,,,and hey, im a lezbo, so you know thats a sincere compliment (wheres my smile?) know you have that beard so you dont waste any tacoooooooooo
Click to expand...
Thank ya. Im blushing a bit. The beard changes with the seasons. Got a late start this year but im working on it. Btw. I never got around to gettimg taco bell. Probably not a good idea seeing how i dont have easy access to a restroom. 🤣
 
Robi said:
i am your friend, we are blood, erm tacobrothers now(tho im a female) i been where you been, i prayed n dreamt of having a van, years went by, got it, then i wished and longed for a home, i got it, i always get what i want, but not when i want it, so even tho its so cheesy , keep the faith, focus on this desire but live in the present too, ugh, easier said than done, but as a nobody, im so fukkn proud of you, you arent slamming or drinking your future away and reaching out when its freezing, working hard .Remember you can vent , tell all of us to bite the big one and or share your joys, BL is here for you::HUG:::
You Are Not Alone Love GIF by Chippy the Dog
Click to expand...
Im proud of me too. It took me a long time to get my daughter back in my life. Slamming would just ruin everything i have worked for. I have a drink on rare occasions and even rarer occasions i catch a buzz but i hate that feelimg where i can't walk straight and slurring my words. I kinda do that sober but its worse after a couple drinks.
 
All the tacos said:
Thank ya. Im blushing a bit. The beard changes with the seasons. Got a late start this year but im working on it. Btw. I never got around to gettimg taco bell. Probably not a good idea seeing how i dont have easy access to a restroom. 🤣
Click to expand...
whats an opioid abusers fav food? Taco Bell (whew dropped my lap top and thot she was a gonner)drop one in a sock like my military son does when hes out in the field
 
All the tacos said:
Im proud of me too. It took me a long time to get my daughter back in my life. Slamming would just ruin everything i have worked for. I have a drink on rare occasions and even rarer occasions i catch a buzz but i hate that feelimg where i can't walk straight and slurring my words. I kinda do that sober but its worse after a couple drinks.
Click to expand...
some people
that worked for me said ARE YOU HIGH? i got defensive and said NO! then one says, well you should get high, is you daughter grown????
 
G_Chem said:
If you don’t mind me asking man where about you from? I wish I had advice all I can say is you seem to be one of those individuals that shouldn’t be homeless. If you have a job you should have a damn roof over your head, wish you the best on better living or at least a better parking spot soon!

-GC
Click to expand...
I dont know how to use this quote thing. I shouldnt be homeless with what i make but i have terrible credit and a few evictions so finding a place my daughter feels safe enough to stay with me is hard. The last place there were gunshots outside our window on a few occasions and i dont want her to have to go through that. Im used to it but she doesnt need to experience the ghetto and all its glories.
 
All the tacos said:
I dont know how to use this quote thing. I shouldnt be homeless with what i make but i have terrible credit and a few evictions so finding a place my daughter feels safe enough to stay with me is hard. The last place there were gunshots outside our window on a few occasions and i dont want her to have to go through that. Im used to it but she doesnt need to experience the ghetto and all its glories.
Click to expand...
Are you willing to re-locate? I could probably pull some strings in the Midwest if so.
 
Robi said:
some people
that worked for me said ARE YOU HIGH? i got defensive and said NO! then one says, well you should get high, is you daughter grown????
Click to expand...
I used to get that a lot when i was a cook cause i was always cleaning something. If i was high i wouldnt be cleaning. Id be a worthless scatterbraimed waste of space.
She just turned 17
 
All the tacos said:
Im in kansas. Im not sure of the rules for posting exact location
Click to expand...
As with all places on the internet, it's not wise to post your exact location in a public forum. It's not against the Bluelight rules as such, but you just gotta be careful. However you can start a private conversation with someone e.g. Robi :) (She's cool by the way, she has my tick of approval <3 ) and once you establish trust in each other, it's up to you whether or not you tell them where you are.
 
n3ophy7e said:
As with all places on the internet, it's not wise to post your exact location in a public forum. It's not against the Bluelight rules as such, but you just gotta be careful.
Click to expand...
Or what, THE CIA IS GOING TO COME AFTER HIM?

I think I changed that shit already....
 
you can click on
the kansas part and see google maps~cleans my chainsaw
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top