• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist

Alcoholism Discussion Thread Version 7.0

Had to go to the ER last night for a few reasons and they found one of my liver enzymes was over 700... Normal is like 40 I think. The nurse said if I continued drinking like I have been for another month my liver would probably be beyond repair. I think I can safely say alcohol is out of my life forever now, even tho it's not entirely by choice. In all honesty I wish I could still drink, but I simply can't now unless I want to die from cirrhosis at an early age.
 
noonoo said:
I have tried AA with not much success.
Click to expand...

So how much effort did you put into it? Did you find a sponsor and attempt to work the steps? Going to meetings is only half the battle.

nuttynutskin said:
Had to go to the ER last night for a few reasons and they found one of my liver enzymes was over 700... Normal is like 40 I think. The nurse said if I continued drinking like I have been for another month my liver would probably be beyond repair. I think I can safely say alcohol is out of my life forever now, even tho it's not entirely by choice. In all honesty I wish I could still drink, but I simply can't now unless I want to die from cirrhosis at an early age.
Click to expand...

So what's your plan for recovery other than "not drinking," which is no plan at all. I was just talking to a woman this morning whose husband died of cirrhosis after attempting sobriety without a plan. There is a difference between abstinence and sobriety. In your condition, since you have such a serious aversion to AA, my suggestion would be to check into a rehab so you can learn what the 12 steps are all about. It's not about being old and crusty like you seem to think. Sorry to be so blunt, but you have future dry drunk stamped all over you. Liver enzymes over 700 is dire. I never hit more than about 200 at the height of my drinking.
 
Last edited:
aihfl said:
So what's your plan for recovery other than "not drinking," which is no plan at all. I was just talking to a woman this morning whose husband died of cirrhosis after attempting sobriety without a plan. There is a difference between abstinence and sobriety. In your condition, since you have such a serious aversion to AA, my suggestion would be to check into a rehab so you can learn what the 12 steps are all about. It's not about being old and crusty like you seem to think. Sorry to be so blunt, but you have future dry drunk stamped all over you. Liver enzymes over 700 is dire. I never hit more than about 200 at the height of my drinking.
Click to expand...

You realize how much of a pompous A.A. dickrider you come off as? Not everybody quits the same way. For me it was enough to hear the nurse say that if I kept drinking the way I was for another month that my liver would be beyond repair. Scared straight basically. If that's not good enough for you then that's your problem.
 
nuttynutskin said:
You realize how much of a pompous A.A. dickrider you come off as? Not everybody quits the same way. For me it was enough to hear the nurse say that if I kept drinking the way I was for another month that my liver would be beyond repair. Scared straight basically. If that's not good enough for you then that's your problem.
Click to expand...

Call me whatever you want. I'm just calling it like I see it because I've been where you're at, and I've seen a lot of other people where you're at. To quote Jack Nicholson's character from A Few Good Men, "You can't handle the truth." I think you're going to be a dry drunk because you're the one who came out and said you don't really want to quit. At some point, you're just going to get angry and resentful that you can't. Been there, done that, and again, I've seen it in plenty of other people. Like flyingpertyhigh said, if you just stop drinking and change nothing else, you will drink again. If I were a gambling man, I'd bet money on it.
 
The term "dry drunk" means different things to different people. Technically, I guess that applies to me. I didn't want to quit drinking and even after my hep c diagnosis, I still drank though not as much. So at some point I had to get serious about getting sober or face certain death. But even if I do make a full recovery, I have no plans on drinking alcohol again and I'm okay with that. I have a family member who drinks liquor and it annoys me when he asks me to make his drinks. Yesterday though I was really pissed when I was shopping and he calls to tell me "I need a bottle."

Nutty, did they tell you what number does that represent? I'm going over my paperwork from the past few years. Get you medical records from the hospital and blood draws from physicians. I always do this because telling me something orally, I will forget especially as time goes by. You need to read your hepatic function panel. In 2012, my ALT was 235 and AST was 183. (pretty damn high) That's when I was drinking heavily but unaware of the hep c. In 2014, they were 62 and 69. (still high but not outrageous)

Sorry to bombard you with questions. Did they prescribe you anything to help you detox? Being a former addict, the psych doc would only give me trazodone and naltrexone last May. Are you seeing a liver specialist or GP? I know you had an ultrasound but I'm thinking your doctor needs to order a biopsy. It wasn't that long ago I was telling you about all those empties collecting in my garage. I do not miss being drunk but the triggers are still there of course. I'm learning to recognize them and trying my best to put it out of my mind. It's scary but you can do this bro!
 
nuttynutskin said:
Had to go to the ER last night for a few reasons and they found one of my liver enzymes was over 700... Normal is like 40 I think. The nurse said if I continued drinking like I have been for another month my liver would probably be beyond repair. I think I can safely say alcohol is out of my life forever now, even tho it's not entirely by choice. In all honesty I wish I could still drink, but I simply can't now unless I want to die from cirrhosis at an early age.
Click to expand...

Can I ask how much you were drinking and for how long?
 
Nuttynutskin, thats scary shit youre going thru. Mine got to like 500 but i still drank a few times after that. Ive been in recovery fir 10 yrs. i think everybody talking programs and dry drunk and shit are misguided. Dude, you just heard the deal about your liver and the only thing that will save you is abstinance. Who cares uf its nit by choice. Every guy i know in AA whos done well started in the gutter and being ready is def important, all you need is that base motivation. I know a guy who had a liver transplant and he hates it. Said it hurts and al thise meds you have to take. Trust me man, you wanna keep your liver. Dont matter how much you drank or fir how long. Maybe orger bodily factors plus alcohol ate yoyr liver. But mine was bad too and niw its normal. I think the secret is this. Nobody "wants" to quit any kind of substance. Even people with years still want to and if they say different, their lying. It takes a lot of booze to get to 700 but ya just gotta absiain. I always windered id addiction is a disease, then when i quit smoking i still dont say im a smoker. Why booze ir drugs different. Even in complete abstination from all substances, were still sick. For me ive realky learned a lot and made a lot of friends in AA and even though my attendance has dropped and kinda pulled out of stepwork and stuff but i still do AA stuff everyday like read the AA thought for the day and i pray too. Not for anything. I just connect to my God. But thats just me. I agree with flyingpertyhigh on different things work for different people. Def adopt one day at a time especialy if you do it yourself. That monkey is gonna start biting into your neck one day so those are days you just take the day as it comes and dont set yourself up fir relapse. I really wish i had advice but im gonna stick to AA attitude and just share my experience, strength, and hope. Dude you still got your liver and of course you gotta stop and its not yoyr choice and you stilk wanna drink. Man, thats normal. As the days turn int weeks and so on youll wanna drink less. That i can pronise. Idk you or your life but if you have a support system, now is the time you need them. Somebody to talk to if yur jonsing. Try nit to isolate. That shit aint goid for anyone, especially people with drinking addictions. The one thing i will say about AA, if you go and keep goibg and realky get involved right from start and get to know people and get a good sponser who you can work the stes with, ityll work man. If you put into it youll get back 100 times. Doing it a little bit like a meeting a week and just goibg and nit getting involved, it wont work. I can speak on this cause ive done it both ways and the first way works....period. But im certinatly not endorsing AA. I guess SMART or getting counser might help but i never did that stuff so cant speak on it. Hey man, you hold the cards now. Either gonba get worse or better and its up to you, no pressure, lol. I dont have to know yu to want your well being. You have the motivation so you have the power and we have power over the first drink. Its the second and third drinks we have no control over. Everybody out here has their own thing and own system of recovery. Just know ive also been there man and my life aint great right now but im breathing. Choose like dude and do it however the fuck you wanna do it. Just do it. Feel free to PM me anytime. If you got nobody else to talk to you got me. Goid luck to you man
 
T. Calderone said:
The term "dry drunk" means different things to different people.
Click to expand...

I didn't even know what that meant until I looked it up. I find it insulting honestly.

T. Calderone said:
Nutty, did they tell you what number does that represent?
Click to expand...

It was either the ALT or AST. One of the numbers was in the 300 range I believe but I don't remember which one.

T. Calderone said:
Sorry to bombard you with questions. Did they prescribe you anything to help you detox?
Click to expand...

Ativan to stop the shakes even tho I'm already on 2mg xanax.

T. Calderone said:
Are you seeing a liver specialist or GP?
Click to expand...

I have no clue yet.

T. Calderone said:
I do not miss being drunk but the triggers are still there of course. I'm learning to recognize them and trying my best to put it out of my mind. It's scary but you can do this bro!
Click to expand...

I have to, I don't have a choice really, but thanks.
 
Well I did the trifecta last night. Drank all day at the club, then got to kfc at 7ish. Fell asleep at kfc from 8 - 11 then was asked to leave at closing time. Got to the bus stop, napped there until a bus came. Got the bus up the hill, crossed the road and napped at that bus stop. Then did the walk of shame.....

It's weird I'm 31 and never did this shit when I was a kid. I only drink beer but hey alcohol is alcohol.
 
first day without day drinking in the new year as it approaches midnight
on the other hand I am going to get some opiates
but I think that doing some opiates might be better for a little while at least
given that all my alcohol troubles started going off suboxone
as I think I've discussed here maybe I should just go back on suboxone
in any event my liver will thank me
 
aihfl said:
Hey, at least you had enough clarity of mind to take a bus. I was in jail with a guy who passed out in the McDonald's drive thru.
Click to expand...

This has happened in my area before. Guy ordered his food, was waiting and then just passed out. Awesome way to get done.

Drinking and driving isn't worth it. Even if you're not at fault in the accident but have alcohol in the system expect to be paying for both damages. Not exactly an awesome way to be living with a large amount of debt.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
6 days out since I was in the ER. Slowly trying to get my health back and face that I can't drink anymore. I'd be lying to say that I don't feel like I'm having one of the few things that made life tolerable taken from me, but I can't do it anymore unless I want to face an early grave. The Ativan has been helping the shakes and anxiety but I'm facing some real depression, anhedonia and worrying about my health... Got another doctor's appointment on the 10th.
 
Your feelings are normal for someone in your spot. They will pass. Shit, i havent drank in a long time and i still get those things but youre fresh sober so your body and mind are all out of whack. You have a great attitude. Thats how you gotta think, that if you drink its an early grave. All the ER visits and liver deteriorating and i never git scared ir stopped untill my medical crisis last summer. I was really scared i was gonna die and came close when i came in cause i was septic. So alcohol didnt take my liver but my colon. Lying there recovering i def made some outlook adjustments. I havent been drunk in 2 years but last year in Feb i drank a little to help my goal out. If you want details you can PM me. And then again in April i took 2 sips of bourbon and got so sick i spilled it out but it still counts. Today i have no desire to drink at all. I lost 25 yrs to it now its ny time to live and be a better father. That happens automatically when you stop drinking. That dry drunk stuff is nonsense. Just abstain and life will get better. Good they gave you Ativan. That stuff saved my life many times. Right now i have no car and just moved into a horrible place but should have my car in couple weeks and my ass is going to a meeting. Not bc i wanna drink but for the people. Being on disability you dont have much interaction. It be nice to get some hugs and handshakes. Im sober now but im not emotionally sober. I know that sounds like shrink shit but its true. Im depressed and anxious even though i take meds for those. I feel dread and impending doom. But drinking will make things way worse and could kill me with no colon. Anyway, sounds like youre on the right path man. Just stick with it and keep checking in with us. Proud of you. Take care
 
closeau said:
That dry drunk stuff is nonsense.
Click to expand...


Closeau, normally we're on the same page, but I would have thought you of all people would be able to distinguish the difference between abstinence and sobriety.

Sobriety: moving toward physical, mental, spiritual, emotional health
Abstinence: the non-consumption of drugs or alcohol that can be forced onto someone by others

You're someone who has taken AA seriously. Surely you've encountered people who are abstinent but not sober; those who are bitter and resentful about about their abstinence, even after years; those who are constantly white-knuckling it insuring that their life in recovery is thoroughly unpleasant. People whose behavior is much the same as it was when they were drinking/using, even though they may have been abstinent for years.
 
aihfl said:
Closeau, normally we're on the same page, but I would have thought you of all people would be able to distinguish the difference between abstinence and sobriety.

Sobriety: moving toward physical, mental, spiritual, emotional health
Abstinence: the non-consumption of drugs or alcohol that can be forced onto someone by others

You're someone who has taken AA seriously. Surely you've encountered people who are abstinent but not sober; those who are bitter and resentful about about their abstinence, even after years; those who are constantly white-knuckling it insuring that their life in recovery is thoroughly unpleasant. People whose behavior is much the same as it was when they were drinking/using, even though they may have been abstinent for years.
Click to expand...

I don't understand your holier than thou attitude. Not everyone quits drinking for the same reason. Who's to say that someone who quits because of health reasons is any less of a person than someone who quits because it's affecting their relationship or job?
 
Aihfl, youre def right!! There is a difference and i know that. Kinda a revelation to me but i learned today i am a dry drunk. Im just absinate, not sober. I gotta do the next right thing and get back to my program. Im miserable right now and my meds are saving my ass from having a meltdown. I know this contridicts what i said before. Sorry about that. So, for nuttynutskin, just relize that if you aint living your life a certain way, you may fall into what im into and it sucks. If i never went to AA i wouldnt know any better and might be fine but i was blessed to find AA and i know the hapiness and joy that comes from living life in recovery. I really want to help people and that and the felliwship. Stopping is good dude but you gotta try to get yourself straight and help someone else who was in ER like you. Thats the beauty of it. Thank you aihfl for pointing that out and actually helping me more than you know and nut, not to be all AA on you man but really one dam day at a time. Fuck whats happened and tomorrow is not here. I go one min at a time sometimes. I know you can do this. I can tell that you aint interested in AA and thats ok bro. If you get desperate, go on in and just chill and listen. Just a thought. Whatever the reason, im gladed we all stopped drinking. Super positive. Goodnight my sober people!
 
If I'm ever gonna move forward I gotta cross some drugs off the list. I got off benzos about a month ago along with vyvanse. Cut back on the constant weed smoking. Quit opiates a few months back. Just ran out of gabapentin and I can't get another script. So now I just gotta quit drinking and it'll be pretty much weed only from here on out (as far as shit I use regularly might still do some pscyhs or something).

Quitting things like benzos and opiates is so much easier than even cutting back on booze. I live a block away from the gas station and know almost everyone there. Gets kinda embarrassing after a while so I switch up stores. I just need to fucking quit before my life gets any worse than it already is. I'm not going to AA atleast not regularly. I got to where I am now without it and its the home stretch now. Wish everybody luck that's going through this shit its harder than it sounds. I don't know what compelled me to combine so much shit everyday but I really fucked up a lot of shit and worse than wasted a year of my life.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top