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Alcoholism Discussion Thread Version 6.0

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I think I have found something that works for me.
I have found it useful to separate the two types of cravings I get for alcohol, and deal with them each uniquely.
Many times I drink to numb an emotion I don't feel like I can deal with. This week whenever that happens, I have been trying to just sit with the emotion and not run away from it. I ask myself what it is I am feeling, and why, and what would really be the healthy way to try to feel better. That doesn't mean I have always chosen the healthy method of feeling better, sometimes the solution is to hard and I just sit there and am miserable, but still it better than just numbing the emotion away, I think.
The other type of craving I get is more like raw addiction, and for this type of craving I have found it appropriate to use will power. By raw addiction, I mean imagining and idealizing what it would be like to be drunk, being attracted to bottles I used to associate visually with a good time, and just plain wanting alcohol. In these times I find it useful to remind myself that my body does what my brain tells it to, and I can make it not lift any alcoholic beverage to my lips if I really try, but that is really what it comes down to. Many times this week I have said aloud "I have the willpower, I am not going to fucking do this" or "I am done with vices" or "I choose not to do this anymore, so I won't," something like that, and it really helps me feel empowered, as cheesy as that may sound. For me personally I had to completely reject the concept of being powerless over alcohol as not for me, I think always hearing that and wondering if it was true was actually quite corrosive for me (For anyone it has worked for, however, good for you).
I have gone just over a week now with no intoxicants of any kind, I have even been limiting my caffeine intake to very small amounts as in red tea. Its not long but I feel like I have made some sort of change. Just over a week ago, I had pretty much accepted I was going to drink myself to death. But that's not even what bothered me, I just felt so spiritually muddied. Now I feel like the growing clarity of mind is making me feel way better than alcohol ever did.
 
Thanks n3ophy7e,
Well, I think one on one therapy sessions helped me learn and accept that I often drink to numb or get away from emotions. Preparing to talk about my drinking each week caused me to closely monitor every time I started drinking, and question why I was doing it much more.
The other techniques I think are more just a way I have found to apply the little I have read about mindfulness to my own life and drinking, I suppose.
I have been drinking so long and have read about so many people's experiences getting sober here and elsewhere, it never seemed to help much but I think maybe I was actually accumulating little useful bits here and there the whole time.
 
That is so great to hear man. It's really inspiring to hear about some of your success with therapy and self-introspection. Keep it up! :)
Are you currently sober?
 
Thank's again, and yes I am. At the moment I feel very inspired to keep this up, but I suppose I should be careful not to jinx it 8o
 
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How is it going for you n3ophy7e?
Last you posted about it, it seems like you said you were drinking again, but I hope maybe things have gotten better?

I felt the need to post about my experience in hopes it could help someone else, I found I really had to figure things out on my own for the most part, so I actually doubt anything I said could be too useful. However just talking about my drinking frequently in therapy made a huge difference for me, I would highly recommend that, or for those without the luck I have had to have supportive parents who help with the cost of therapy, I see no reason why talking about it regularly on places like this couldn't have a similar effect.

<3
 
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Unfortunately mate I've been drinking solidly all year. I had 6 months of sobriety last year, which was a huge achievement for me. I relapsed when my boyfriend at the time relapsed on heroin and meth, and I was so depressed and helpless, I needed relief in the form of alcohol.
After that relationship ended, I dated a girl who turned out to be an alcoholic. We loved each other but I had to break it off because we were drinking way too much together. Broke my heart :(
Then after that I dated a fucking douchebag of a guy who again, turned out to be a massive alcoholic. Where do I find these people?!
My current boyfriend is not addicted to anything, and he is amazingly supportive. I'm still drinking every day though, I just cannot seem to get a grasp on it. I'm strongly considering rehab because I can kinda tell that my boyfriend is going to reach the end of his tether at some point if I keep abusing alcohol and drugs the way I do. He hates seeing me wasted, and he knows I want to get help, so it hurts him to see me doing it to myself over and over (he hasn't actually SAID any of that but we've known each other for 14 years so I know how his mind works). So I really really need to do something about my drinking and drug use, and SOON. I absolutely cannot lose this guy, he is the best thing that ever happened to me <3 :(
 
Aw, im sorry. :(
If some part of you is saying rehab is a good idea, I strongly urge you to go through with it! Doing so would show everyone how serious you are about stopping drinking, and just voluntarily going to rehab would be an accomplishment you could be proud of in itself.
I never could bring myself to do it personally, but I wonder that if I did, if I would have been able to prevent some of the damage that I have done to my body. When I opened up to my parents about my drinking they strongly pushed the idea of going to a rehab, but I could not bring myself to surrender control of my life, or at least that is how I thought of it. I am aware, however, that it was just egotistical thinking. Instead I went the therapy route, which eventually helped but took a long time.
 
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I never know whether to post in these threads or not, I would never want to come across as boasting about my self control.....that would be ridiculous, believe me.

Alcohol crept up on me years ago, it started with drinking during coke binges and then escalated to drinking everyday, I quickly hit a bottle of whiskey a day or the equivalent in other high alcohol content beers etc (I'd convince myself this was better than the whiskey) I was very low at the time and soon added copious amounts of Benzos to the mix. This carried on for nearly 3 years until I had to visit a doctor due to my mental state and it all spilled out.

I spent some time talking to addiction counsellors about the problem and started to see how it was really not helping my situation, I recognised just how physically ill I had become and how dependant on alcohol I was. I was offered a course of CBT to help with my depression but had to be 4 weeks clear of alcohol to get the treatment.

I drew up a taper for the benzos and synched in a date for stopping drinking CT I relapsed more than once on the benzos but apart from one incident where I brought a bottle and ended up tipping all but a couple of shots down the sink I've not drunk at all. I have ongoing drug abuse issues but no longer take benzos regularly.

I think I'd just had enough of it, feeling ill all the time, having to rotate where I brought my booze as I was embarrassed and just being so dependant.

I can only wish anyone trying to rid themselves of a problematic drink problem all the best and offer my view that it is really a very poor excuse of a drug that insidiously creeps into your life producing or aggravating the very symptoms it seems to be releaving. Total abstinence has been the only path for me, I'm not planning on ever drinking again, for me the carnage just isn't worth it.

Fight the good fight comrades<3
 
^That is a very nice post, not boastful at all. Im so glad you have come to some understanding which keeps you from drinking it seems.

I can really relate to almost all of your post, from buying alcohol at different stores due to embarrassment, to using it to medicate the same problems it was causing. I have often drank and wallowed in depression due to feelings that my life was not going anywhere, but I did not want to fully admit to myself alcohol was huge factor in keeping it from going anywhere.

And like you I always question why I would post in a topic like this, but I just feel some need to talk about about this stuff, I have few friends and the ones I do sure as shit don't want to talk about such a buzz kill subject. At least I am sure that's how it would seem to them, since none of my friends that are still living today have ever had much experience with addiction.

I have 11 days clean today, so little that I feel a little disingenuous using the past tense about my drinking already, so I really hope I am not bragging about my self control either.
 
11 days is sober in my view and thanks for the reassurance, any of us could relapse at anytime I'm not complacent on the issue.

I wonder what others say in social situations when offered a drink, I've found it quite hard and have avoided a number of opportunities to further much needed social interaction.

When I've mentioned my past alcohol issues to work colleagues I've had mixed responses, with some clearly uncomfortable with even acknowledging the idea that people can have a drink problem.

My drinking was always at home on my own, in fact I would deliberately drink less I social situations to hide my problems. Drinking was never a social thing in my earlier years, we were all taking stimulants.

I try and find some positives, I can do the driving for one thing but it's been awkward in some situations, people sometimes push for you to take a drink and can seem offended when you refuse, then I feel unable to explain for fear of making them feel bad.

You've managed 11 days so far, that proves you can survive without the stuff I sincerely hope you don't relapse but if you do it will be just that, a relapse not a return to how things were just a little bump in the road that you can learn from and get back on track.

I relapsed with benzos 3 times and have been clear now for over a year, you just have to pick yourself up and work out how you can get back on track, it's all part of the process.

all my very best wishes
 
11 days is huge man, I can't go 6 hours without a drink right now, I've never had alcohol withdrawal yet, but now I think I will 10 months every day, morning and night, slight shakes in the afternoon.... I hate this
 
DrinksWithEvil said:
11 days is huge man, I can't go 6 hours without a drink right now, I've never had alcohol withdrawal yet, but now I think I will 10 months every day, morning and night, slight shakes in the afternoon.... I hate this
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Can you not get a withdrawal program I was offered Librium but I believe some still use Diazepam, if you have been drinking heavily for sometime it could be dangerous to stop CT, akin to stopping Benzos.

Tapering alcohol doesn't seem to be suggested often, I'm guessing it doesn't work to well.

You need to see a professional for advice, don't just go it alone, the support alone is worth getting as well as the meds helping the wd symptoms.
 
DrinksWithEvil,
Well you have made the decision to try to stop, that is something positive in itself. I really wish you the best luck with quitting, alcoholism really can become torture that is just as bad for your psyche as it is for your body. With the amount you mentioned you are drinking, you might honestly want to consider at least a short term detox program in a hospital if that would be feasible for you, because alcohol withdrawal can be quite dangerous. That way if you get any of the really dangerous symptoms there would be a doctor standing by to help. The main thing, however, is that it is great you have decided to try to put an end to your drinking.

Also, thank you both DrinkswithEvil and Allein (missed your post at first) for the kind words. I wish I had some advice on dealing with alcoholism / past alcoholism in social situations, but I am really the last person to know anything about that! Truly.
 
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There was a discussion over in EADD recently about benzo addiction, we all have differing views but IME the biggest hurdle is deciding for yourself that you are going to abstain.

Having a GP try and control the amount of the drug you use seems pointless as at some stage you will needs to face the demon.

For me the approach that worked was to get this done first, I could obtain pretty much any drugs with relative ease and drink even more so but I choose not to.

Doctors and such can help you and support you but ultimately it's your decision, I've been in a detox center and almost all those that were there felt aggrieved at the reducing doses or changing of meds etc. I'm sure such places work but I believe you have to have addressed our own issues and committed to voluntarily working to abstain prior to embarking on a treatment program.

Just my view and clearly not a cover all approach.
 
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