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Alcoholics Anonymous

T

TheDeceased

Ex-Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 21, 2000
Messages
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I drink as soon as I wake up until I fall asleep every day. If I don't, even for one day, I experience serious withdrawal symptoms. I become irritable and anxious, my heart rate goes through the roof - I am unable to focus on anything. I can now only function when I'm at least slightly drunk.

I realized I had a problem before it became a problem. I've never been able to stop drinking once I start. Even when I didn't drink very much, I was addicted. Alcohol and me is a terrible combination. I am a compulsive liar when I'm drunk. I get so drunk that I completely lose my grip on reality. Or I don't care. I say fucked up shit. Horribly offensive fucked up shit just for the sake of it.

I hate myself when I drink and I always drink. So I hate myself generally.

I woke up in a holding cell in a west Melbourne police station. I have numerous bruises and possibly a cracked rib. I can't remember five hours of last night.

I used to be amused by my antics, misguidedly proud of them. Even though I've always been aware that the drunk version of myself is a poor substitute for anyone, I've never gotten to a point where it ceases to be a joke. Until now.

I've always laughed at the idea of rehab or Alcoholics Anonymous. Denial requires it. But now, despite the Christian/God thing, I'm going to go. Rehab, which is a much better option really, is out of the question.

Are there any non-denominational support groups?

:|​

Hi. My name is Chris and I'm an alcoholic.
 
Thanks for the suggestions, but they appear to be US/UK based whereas I'm located in Australia. Does anyone have any experience with any alcoholism support groups aside from AA in Australia?

There are so many AA meetings (there's one every day in the surrounding suburbs) that I figure I'll just go to one and see how religious it is.

Like you said I need support. (Are you Christian btw?)
 
It's day two. I can't get any weed since the cops stole my stash when I was arrested and my dealers are off until tommorow. So now I have to withdraw from weed/tobacco (I smoke them together) and alcohol at the same time. I feel like fucking shit. I don't know what to do. I'm physically shaking. I'm in pain. I'm depressed. Everything is telling me to have a drink, but I know that I shouldn't. I don't know how long I can last.

I'm going to my first AA meeting in 4 hours if I can last that long.
 
Hey, best of luck on getting your life better. AA does help a lot of people. Sometimes it isn't about getting the ideal means to an end but about utilizing whatever is available because something has got to change.

Congrats on making it to day 2. Since there are many meetings available in your area I recommend that you try out several different ones before drawing conclusions about if AA is workable for you.
 
I fucked up already. I found some beer when I was cleaning up. I tried to pour it out. I stood above the sink in the bathroom for about five minutes. But I couldn't do it.

I'm still thinking of going though. Can you go to meetings mildly drunk?
 
Technically the only requirement for membership is a desire to quit drinking. Meetings are autonomous in all matters not affecting AA as a whole, though- and it is going to very a lot in how well you are received. My Nebraska, USA experience might not be very applicable to your are. Is there a number in the phonebook? They might be able to advise you on such a matter.
 
TheDeceased said:
I fucked up already. I found some beer when I was cleaning up. I tried to pour it out. I stood above the sink in the bathroom for about five minutes. But I couldn't do it.

I'm still thinking of going though. Can you go to meetings mildly drunk?
Click to expand...
I've been to meetings when I was trying to get my ex some help with his drinking problem. He was kind of tipsy sometimes and didn't care because it was court-ordered. He didn't take it seriously but eventually got into the program to the point he was going every single day. It's hard in the beginning but if you "click" with the right group, you will feel a sense of belonging. Nobody is going to know if you're a bit drunk unless they smell it on you. Please just go and give it a try. I remember my sister was in a group she really liked. She mentioned that in the beginning, you should sit and listen. This way you get the most out of the experience. Once you've been to a few meetings and feel comfortable then you can speak. I'm glad that you're considering this and wish you the best. ~theresa
 
I went to the first meeting and spoke. Everyone was very supportive and I found it fascinating to hear accounts of alcoholism in real person. I don't think I've ever experienced anything like it. The level of honesty is astounding. Some of the stories really moved me. But since I'd already had a couple of beers (I stopped on the way to the meeting for a couple of drinks), I kept thinking about having another beer. So I got a lift home with a guy and asked him to stop at the bottle shop. I felt bad doing that, but it was either that or I walk (no buses this late) and I'm in too much pain to walk. He didn't seem to mind.

I'm going to go back. I'm going to stop drinking. If I hadn't found that beer in my house, I might have made it through day two.

There was very little religious talk. In fact at the beginning of the meeting the host read a statement saying that AA is not related to any religion/denomination. Quite a few of the members said that the religious aspect was bullshit. But then right at the end they all did a prayer. Oh well. I don't have to pray.

Overall, despite the fact that I'm having a drink, I found it to be an eye opening experience. None of the people I know would ever call me an alcoholic, because a) people don't want to interfere and b) the people that love me don't want to admit that I have a problem. It's nice to be around people that understand the severity of the issue for a change.

I'm going to die if I don't stop drinking.

I'm lucky that I'm not dead already.
 
^^ Yes if life was fair, I would have died long ago. Congratulations on making this decision! I'm pleased that you liked the meeting. My ex has been in AA more than 10 years and this really keeps him together. He goes and speaks at hospitals and jails and I'm very proud of him. AA has completely changed his life. Don't beat yourself up for relapsing, it happens and you just need to forgive yourself and move on.
 
If it is me you are asking, no I am not Christian. Well I guess in theory I am since I was baptized, but I do not follow the religion.

And awesome job, it takes a lot of courage to reach out for the first time! If the meetings help you then just ignore the prayers and religious aspect. You can stick with the people that share similar views. When I used to go me and my friends would joke about some of the ridiculous things that would go on at meetings, which would help us look past that and still benefit from the support network.

Let us know how you are doing :)
 
Yeah I'm not powerless. I'm not an acloholic. Last night I poured out three beers. The people at the meeting all said that "once you have the first one, there is no going back." Well fuck them, I proved them wrong. Or at least, I proved I'm not one of them.

I'm drinking too much at the moment but that doesn't mean I'm an alcoholic for life. I'm drinking because I have some problems. I need to fix those problems so I don't feel the need to drown them in alcohol.

Alcohol is not to blame for my problems. It isn't an excuse to be an alcoholic.

I am to blame. I chose to drank, just like I chose to pour out the beer last night.

Just like I chose to not have another drink until I'm happy.

I don't want to be one of those fucking losers that goes to AA for 20 years and is still counting the days they've been sober.

Alcoholism is not a disease. It's not something you're born with. It's circumstantial. All of them had totally fucked up lives. That's why they drank to excess. Not because of a genetic disposition.

I am not powerless. I chose not to drink.
 
Here is a non-AA explanation of why AA might be helpful.

Alcohol problems get worse through isolation, shame, and hopelessness. Humans tend to do better and have healthier brain chemistry when they are in positive relationship to a family, group, tribe, etc. Shame and isolation that come with and worsen drinking problems can get better by hearing similar stories and telling one's own story in an accepting environment. Giving up an addiction often leaves a time management problem for a lot of people. There really are not many human endeavors that aren't in part about passing the time. AA addresses some of that.

AA is inexpensive & readily available to people. I have ragged on AA for philosophical reasons. I still object to AA as the only way, abstinence as the only approach, and an occasional AA member pushing others to hard or predicting doom at those who use alternative approaches. BUT- most people coming off an addiction need abstinence for at least a period of time, support, and something to do with their time. AA isn't going to make you sign a blood oath or a million year contract. You'll be able to leave if it isn't working. Givin its availability to people who have few other resources I think we ought not foul it up for people who could find it life saving.
 
kudos on pouring those three out. now, just save that money in the first instance.
 
if i like to have a drink in the morning when possible, does that make me an alcoholic? i don't feel like drinking is a big drain on my life on my life-yet so it's like nbd so far to me. also most of the time i just get a buzz on to even out my neuroticisms so is self-medication a more accurate term...? i should stop the regularity of my drinking but sometimes i feel like it's a lesser evil that i succumb to. i know i'm wrong. :o
 
SirTophamHat said:
if i like to have a drink in the morning when possible, does that make me an alcoholic?
Click to expand...
That was considered a classic sign at one time. I think because many people don't want a drink the next morning and drinks in the morning often turn in to all day affairs in many cases.

If your alcohol use concerns you , and attempts to curtail or stop drinking fail, then you have an alcohol situation that could benefit from getting help. Defining alcoholic isn't all that useful.

Other signs that are indicative of a need to get help or put checks on oneself are alcohol related social consequences, occupational problems, health problems,problems with money or the law. I'm sure everyone can make up a scenario where one of these things is not generated by drinking but could look like it to a stranger. When you do an objective cost/ benefit analysis and look at many areas of your life is alcohol holding you back or doing you about right?
 
AA, unfortunately, is clearly a religious program (though they claim not to be). They say "The Lord's Prayer" there for gods sake! No pun intended.

I believe it would be best to just go to the groups, and just make your "Higher-Power" the AA meetings.

It is going to suck if you are not a religious person, because you will meet TONS of people there that claim they are happy and sober because they have found God.

Here is a common quote from the rooms of AA, "I wake up in the morning, walk upstairs, and open my fridge; I then drink milk out of my fridge. I am no longer poor, homeless, or using drugs, and this is all thanks to the grace of God."

I really wish these poor people would attribute their successes to themselves, and not some unknown entity.

Sorry, I could rant on forever about the negatives, but I will give you some advice:

Just do your thing, get sober for yourself, whether you like the meetings or not. If you really want to be sober, nothing will stop you (yes, not even the pointless anonymous groups). Sobriety is in your reach, only if you want it for yourself.

Good luck buddy.
 
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