AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I just want to scream

[Modify_you]

What the fuck, that's a good way of summarizing my current outlook. I really don't know if this is even the right place for this, if not feel free to move it a more appropriate place.

I'm 24, I have a job, it is by no stretch a great job. I work customer service, I keep a very light hearted auro of sorts going at any given time, always polite and generally well respected. I have a pretty severe background of mental health problems stemming back as long as we can remember on my dad's side of the family. Today I wake up to a phone call saying he's in the hospital on self harm watch. It's like an enevitable thing. I find myself concerned that I'm going to end up as another head case in my family yet I'm the normal one. Talking to the doctor today, He said I am 30-40% more likely to devolop a severe mental illness considering it's genetic. It freaks me the fuck out! I find myself dwelling on the thought that someday I'm going to be one of the nutjobs in my family. I don't want to be the guy that just snaps and fucking stabs some dude in the eye with a fucking cork screw while table side serving his wine.

I'm fucking lost, I'm scrared. I get crazy racing thoughts about how I'm in line for this horrible shit. It makes it worse to think about considering these are some of the main symtoms my pops is currently having. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Yeah. That.

 

[J.Wallace]

First off, be there for you're father. This is a time when you should be supporting him, as he would support you if the roles were reversed.

Secondly, stop working yourself into this cycle of loops! You do realize worrying about it so much is just making it worse, right? It's a self fulfilling prophecy. Worrying about it so much is in itself making you lose your mind, which is exactly what you're trying to avoid.

Take a breather, relax a little. Maybe have a glass of wine, a beer or two, what ever you prefer. Just chill out, and stop worrying about it so much. Cause you know what? Even if a mental illness of some kind does come up, is worrying about it going to change anything? No. So why not just accept reality for what is it, accept you for who you are, and enjoy what you can? Worrying doesn't do a damn thing but stress you out.