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After 4 years, GF stops taking birth control. Mood and Sex Life Changes

dimensiontripping

dimensiontripping

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 7, 2007
Messages
331
Location
East Coast
My girlfriend of almost 5 years recently stopped taking birth control. She was getting annoyed by her apathy towards sex and believes it is/was making her depressed. Her sister had thyroid issues related to taking birth control which prompted my girlfriend to see what its like for 6 months with no birth control.

I obviously accepted this as I want her to be healthy and happy. We have never maybe had sex with a condom 2 times, ever. Otherwise, she has been on birth control. After about a week, we realized that pulling out is not going to be a long-term option. Neither is cumming inside of her on her period. We are committed to condoms but find that it both puts a damper on our sex life. There seems to be a new form of apathy in our sex life as she is having a harder time orgasming with condoms and I am just starting to adjust to the downgrade condoms bring to the pleasures of sex. We both agreed to no penetration without condoms from now on.

On top of this, I am in an extensive recovery for sexual pain issues caused by visceral restrictions from amphetamine abuse over 2 years ago. I basically cannot have sex during the day as it will cause me to be in pain for several hours after. This whole "scheduled" sex life is already hard enough on us as a couple. Its getting better, but slower than a snail.

Anyone have any advice on contraceptive changes in a long-term relationship? Most of my friend who are in relationships are on birth control so I don't have many people in person to talk to about this.

Thank you :)
 
lola said:
Why doesn't she use the IUD? Not hormonal, very effective... my flatmate has it, is very pleased with it and no, she's never had children!

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/contraception-guide/Pages/iud-coil.aspx
Click to expand...

I am looking more for just shared struggle with adjusting to new forms of contraception in a relationship more than just other forms of birth control. I appreciate the advice but my girlfriend is not going to get an IUD. I think her goals are to NOT be on birth control for atleast 6 months to see if she feels any major changes in her mood and quality of life
 
a vasectomy is not an option. i am 23. its relatively permanent and not exactly 100% reversible. i would like to have children in the next 10 years so no, this is not even a considerable option. maybe if i was done having children.
 
dimensiontripping said:
I am looking more for just shared struggle with adjusting to new forms of contraception in a relationship more than just other forms of birth control. I appreciate the advice but my girlfriend is not going to get an IUD. I think her goals are to NOT be on birth control for atleast 6 months to see if she feels any major changes in her mood and quality of life
Click to expand...

I am not sure I understand the logic.

What are her goals in not being on birth control? If it's about mood and quality of life, it's 100% about hormonal side effects of birth control. So I fail to see how non-hormonal birth control would be any different from not being on birth control at all?

Unless she wants to get pregnant.

As for personal experience: every time I went on a break from hormonal birth control, at some point a condom split or we got carried away and I ended up having to take the morning after pill; a massive dose of hormone in one go which mess your body up waaay worse than the pill.

I get the issue though; I find sex without condom to be much better, more intimate and connected. And for this reason I can't say I've ever managed to go back to using condoms with a sexual partner after we stopped using them, even when I should have. It's definitely a change in dynamics.

What might help you guys is to take the emphasis away from penetration for a bit, focus on giving each other oral and other ways to get each other off, stopping to put on a condom after lots of messing around is less of an issue than if you want instant gratification... make things more erotic and sensual so the focus is less on the pounding perhaps?
 
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