Antipsychotics in your case might not be a lifetime thing if you go that route (they probably are for me), they would just speed up your recovery. Drugs which tend to treat the source of the problem also tend to not be recreational, and may be unpleasant. The anxiety you talk about sounds like something that they would greatly help, improving your fluidity of thought. No one really wants antipsychotics. Of course I'm not a doctor, but it never hurts to leave that option on the table.
Meditation is of the east. Ways of the east are hard to describe, as that is a western dynamic. Rather, they have to be experienced. Look up MBSR meditation. I did it for a long time before I realized it was isolating me and making my symptoms worse. While I was on it I didn't have to take medication for attention. Meditation is about paying attention to any sensation, however small or large, while you are in a still enough state that you can take in all the nuances of your surroundings without having the chance of missing anything--it is usually done sitting or lying down, though there are walking meditations. What develops is a greater awareness in all aspects of life.
It can be tough in the beginning, as the west is not used to tuning in to the rhythms of nature. The mental pain (not emotional) that this practice prompts is your brain growing, literally! Studies show that people who have been meditating daily for months or years have larger brains, and more activity in them.
We are alike in that we value intelligence/cognition to the utmost.'
Meditation is of the east. Ways of the east are hard to describe, as that is a western dynamic. Rather, they have to be experienced. Look up MBSR meditation. I did it for a long time before I realized it was isolating me and making my symptoms worse. While I was on it I didn't have to take medication for attention. Meditation is about paying attention to any sensation, however small or large, while you are in a still enough state that you can take in all the nuances of your surroundings without having the chance of missing anything--it is usually done sitting or lying down, though there are walking meditations. What develops is a greater awareness in all aspects of life.
It can be tough in the beginning, as the west is not used to tuning in to the rhythms of nature. The mental pain (not emotional) that this practice prompts is your brain growing, literally! Studies show that people who have been meditating daily for months or years have larger brains, and more activity in them.
We are alike in that we value intelligence/cognition to the utmost.'