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Advice from classy ladies please.

W

weekendwarrior11

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 25, 2014
Messages
67
Hi,
I notice alot of vulgar post from dudes on here and I want honest answers from women so with that Im going to try and be as tasteful as I can.

I'm in a long term relationship (7 years to be exact) and have a question. We have a very normal sex life and communicate about what we want/like/ or don't like. Anyways, since the beginning, I have always came really fast ( she was my first too, for reference) and I personally hate it. Sometimes even like 5 thrusts other times I'll last maybe 1 or 2 minutes.

I have expressed to her how much I hate that I can't last and hot embarrassed I am about it and constantly am apologizing. She always laughs it off and tells me it doesn't matter because I ALWAYS immediately after intercourse focus on her with my hand until she gets off. So she does always get off but it's always with my hand.

Now I know she's clearly in love with me and wouldn't leave me for something like that, and she always tells me she's more then satisfied with out sex life probably because how I noticeably try to make up for my issue.

But from a outside women's perspective, do you think she ever wishes I wasn't like that? Because I'm sure my hand gets old after a while. She claims that I do enough trying new ways to get her off it doesn't, but I can't help but think she wishes I could last. And if so is there anything more or different I could do to ease the situation?

Please only mature responses from women. Don't really need a dudes perspective, cause I've asked many dude friends. Lol

And BTW we have an incredibly strong relationship. For the past 7 years we have done Nothing but better each other and build each other up ( I would probably be one of those perverted dudes posting on here getting girls to say they like it up the ass or something before her but now I try to be more classy. Lol )

Thank you.
 
Haha I'm off like 30 mg oxy right now. I know what your saying, but personally I don't like banging on ops.

Completely no offence, but that's why I was looking for more of a women's response to how they think she might feel because I know I can pop some MDMA or an oxy or some addy and have sex for hours. But that's just it, I'm not looking for a fix, because I do that when available. But rather thoughts/ideas on my girlfriends mind set.

But thank you for that advice. Promise I'll do it again: ) haha
 
i was going to say ask your gf, but it seems like you don't think you get an honest answer from her.

no 'classy ladies' can really know what your gf is thinking. maybe she is happy with her sex life, maybe she isn't, but doesn't care that much.

theres not much you can do if you don't trust your own SO who you have been in a relationship with for 7 yrs.

what have you tried to see if you can last longer? pc muscle exercises?
 
Well its not that I don't trust her. I do completely. I'm really just asking if any other women have been in the same position really. My so is not a very sexual person, meaning she is with me for me, and sex is minor in her evaluation of her relationship with me. It's really me that is self conscious about not being able to please her even though she says I do just fine. I'm just wondering really if, for a woman, if there is added benefit to getting off with intercourse or if with a hand will suffice.

She's stated while rolling that she sometimes wishes we could get off together, instead of me then her, but that it doesn't matter to her enough to make a fuss. Idk. A discussion is all I really wanted I guess.

And really haven't tried too much other than mama or opiates. I'll try to think of baseball or politics or something. Lol because looking at her body gets me every single time right away. :\ haha
 
And I know no one, even a "classy lady" can tell me what my girlfriend is thinking or how she feels. More or less just how other women would feel in that position. Having multiple orgasms everytime you have sex but always after their guy and never through intercourse.
 
without reading :D (oh hai!) why dont you pop one off solo, first! then have another orgasm but this time, with her. Maybe she or you (or both pf you) wants to watch the first orgasm (or not). then orgasm together. she can also orgasm via you kissing her vulva :) Also, foreplay, kissing, touching, moaning, petting, is very important! Good Luck! (oh right you might last longer the second time.)
 
Drugs aren't your answer. Whether it's mdma, opiates, alcohol etc...I would hope you're having sex more often than you're using drugs.

If your partner says it doesn't bother her, I would trust her. Personally, even if my partner didn't get me off from PIV sex, I would need more than 1-2 minutes.

Have you tried edging? Thrust until you're about to cum, then pull out, calm down and repeat. Maybe go down on her first and make sure she comes before there is any PIV action.

One thing I really like is laying on my stomach with my legs together while my partner slides himself I between them, not going inside me but just stroking my pussy lips and clit. There isn't as much friction as PIV for him, but it feels soooo good for me.

Can you cum more than once? Have her give you head first (obviously, return the favor) and then move on to intercourse.

Basically if you can't make yourself last longer, you need to take care of her first.
 
So you usually finger her to get her off? How about oral?
I have never once finished from actual intercourse. Primarily oral.

I don't mind it at all.... oral is much more fun than intercourse.
My partner likes both too.... sometimes he'd prefer to just finish through oral rather than intercourse.

Length of time of actual intercourse does NOT matter to me either.

(background info, my partner and I have been together for over five years, so it's not just a new thing)
 
Um read a book or maybe stop just for a second when you feel like you're gonna cum?
 
ive skimmed this and saw that youre an oxy fan. if you have any dependence on this med at all then it seems like a big reason for your speedy cumming.

a VERY common sideeffect of opiate wd is premature ejacultion. so when youre banging her in even the mildest withdrawals, you're always gonna cum quicker.

address the opiate use and look into deep breathing and pelvic floor exercises (weight lifting a flannel with your dick etc. (for real)) if you wanna go for longer.

and stop apologosing as ive been told it's not sexy behaviour (been through the whole opiate/jizz thing myself).

now i'm clean, i'm fine. i hope....
 
My partner is similar, and sadly cites that his heroin use started off as a means to prolong his performance. I wish I'd met him earlier to have been able to prevent this.

However, I'm not perturbed at all by the length of PIV intercourse and actually find the fact that he is so eager to climax as testimony as to how much I turn him on - I see it as a huge compliment that he is unable to control himself, so to speak.

How about changing things up and focussing on her orgasms first, through digital and oral stimulation and then indulging yourselves in PIV intercourse?

When sex is in question, I really do stand by the old adage that it is quality over quantity. Be gentle on yourself and try not to let mainstream supposed ideals interfere with what is a very personal and social bond between you. If you trust her (which I certainly hope you do) then believe her words.

most importantly, stay classy!
 
If it were me I'd expect you to be a king at eating pussy and take care of me first. Then i wouldn't how fast you were. If done right you don't even care about sex after. It is an art though so I suggest you research!
 
I'll give you an honest answer from a classy lady ;) , yes it does bother her sometimes. Sometimes , from a females
prospective , You are like right there on the edge of a massive orgasm and then he's finished before you can finish. Sux. Because it's hard to even work up to having an orgasm sometimes and if you stop or change the pace or position when it's that close , then you lose that orgasm. And she will never ever tell you that she isn't 100% satisfied. She dosent want to hurt your ego. And she probably does like the way you make love to her but I bet she's already in a routine body wise and she's just ok with the idea that it's always gonna be this way. But you can change this about yourself. You can work on it and train yourself to be able to last longer. It would be a great gift to her if you would google some steps on lasting longer and follow thru and practice. It would make you love life more pleasureable for both of you.
 
smackydowners said:
ive skimmed this and saw that youre an oxy fan. if you have any dependence on this med at all then it seems like a big reason for your speedy cumming.

a VERY common sideeffect of opiate wd is premature ejacultion. so when youre banging her in even the mildest withdrawals, you're always gonna cum quicker.

address the opiate use and look into deep breathing and pelvic floor exercises (weight lifting a flannel with your dick etc. (for real)) if you wanna go for longer.

and stop apologosing as ive been told it's not sexy behaviour (been through the whole opiate/jizz thing myself).

now i'm clean, i'm fine. i hope....
Click to expand...

I have never heard anyone on earth say that opiates cause this. The vast stacks of literature say exactly the opposite. Opioids make it often impossible to cum. crazy
 
While the opioid is active, it does make it harder to finish because it makes you kind of numb. Withdrawal is the opposite, so yes, what smackydowners said is true. Sometimes to an embarrassing extent...
 
Hey, I'm a lady (classy most of the time) I've been with my partner for 13 years, from reading ur post it seems like ur in the same situation as my partner, most of the time he gets excited far too quickly leaving me frustrated that I didn't get my fun too, I find that foreplay before hand works wonders, get her to the point where she is about to orgasm with your hands, tongue, whatever but don't let her go the full way, do this a few times, then by the time you enter her she will most likely come quickly before you do. If I was her I would take it as a compliment, you obviously think she's very hot and her vagina is tight enough to get you off so quickly! Some women can't come thru penetration anyway, so maybe she enjoys handplay more than the actual sex, women are also happy to know they've pleased their partners as much as men do. Have u tried getting yourself off first? Then when ur erect the second time does it still only last a few minutes? I find my partner lasts much longer the second time round, in his words the first time he's like a loaded gun haha! Good luck!
 
I say go down on her (if she is into it) until she DOES come or is getting close... before you jump in little head first.

From a woman in a relationship with a woman.
 
Can't she get it back up? Maybe give you a bit while your playing with her and orally revive ya? If she wanted the d she'd be trying to bring it back to life imo. And don't just use your hands. Get your face down there also
 
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