Stimulants Aderall/amphetamine addiction help?

[novaruby26]

Hello, I was prescribed adderall IR 20mg twice a day by my psych 2 years ago for extreme fatigue (i just had a baby). I have been on it for 2 years and have built up a nasty habit of taking more than I should daily. I have been on an 80-120 mg dosage per a day (40 mg every 8 hours) followed by 2 weeks of withdrawal as I run out of medication till the next Dr. visit. I am worried though because I have ugly side effects due to the over usage/addiction. I am scared I am killing my central nervous system as my doctor has done blood work and said I have low levels of everything. I am suffering from malnutrition, my hair is falling out, my teeth that used to be awesome are now getting ugly as well as gum problems. My skin and face are dark, and my personality which used to be outgoing and happy is now moody and withdrawn. I have basically shut out everyone in my life but my 2 kids and husband. I go no where unless I absolutely have to and am paranoid and anxious constantly. I have no idea why I am so completely different. Isn't adderall supposed to make u more active and energetic? Why do i feel such elation and happiness for a few hours then feel sad and depressed and crazy after. In order to bypass the severe depression and mood swings/rage I have to keep taking the adderall in 40 mg doses. I am up all night glued to the computer spending all my money on crap like facebook game credits smoking and grinding my teeth. I have ear aches, jaw aches and horrible mouth sores that appear to be thrush but my doctor said they are white patches of healing tissue from my tongue blistering and cracking open due to all the tongue/mouth movement i'm doing. What? I didnt even realize i do this till now. Anyway, I am scared to death, and read that it takes around 4-6 months to get back to normal after amphetamine abuse. I am hoping if i can do this i will be my old self again. I have been known to let my 2 year old do her own thing in the living room/playroom while I am on the computer and not check on her for hours unless she calls for me. At which time I take care of her for an hour or two and meet her needs (im still loving and somewhat responsible) but then go back to the computer to wallow in my addictive state of isolation. My husband helps alot, but is scared for me too. I want to quit. I want to tell my psychiatrist I cant have it anymore cause i am an addict. Please let me know where to start. I am just so afraid of the long withdrawal and lifestyle changes to come. Afraid of being tired, unhappy and missing the drug. This is the worst thing I have ever done. Especially since I have never been known to drink, use any drugs, or do anything addictive really. It is so unlike me. -Dixie

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

Amphetamine is noted for producing anxiolysis/euphoria/focus when use begins and/or if use continues at a stable dose, then leading to disorientation, confusion, paranoia, anxiety, and depression if misused.

You start by being honest with yourself, then others. Sounds like you can be honest to us; that's a good start! Now relate your problem to those who can really help you, as, alas, we can only do so much over the internet.

There are drugs which can help with stimulant addiction too - not many, and none are licensed for this purpose, but if your doctor wants to help he may start by prescribing you a non-abusable agent to help with cravings/withdrawal.

 

[Phat5o]

i mean, it is an upper with the reputation of having harsh crashes. some people seem to respond worse to them then others.. like me, i could never take any uppers because if, just like you, i couldn't re-dose my day was over. it'd be a cruel mental state.
the more you do it the more your tolerance goes up which will make your addiction worse and the crashes more brutal.
you need to be off it for a while and you will get that natural energy/happiness again
obviously you're not using the drug anymore but the drug is using you.. it's doing a lot of physical harm to you...not to mention mental harm. it also has priority even over your own kids. this is an example of why nobody but yourself can save you and that's why many have to hit absolute rock bottom in order to quit.
if it was me and i was serious about getting off i'd go to an inpatient rehab for 2 - 4 weeks. i would not do the first couple weeks with your kids around... and really, what's 2 - 4 weeks compared to an average life span? in a rehab they will give you a lot of tools to deal with your problem and the steps you need to take to get out of your predicament... especially since you seem to have no experience with life after withdrawals.
act now.... time is not on your side with this. addiction is a downward spiral for most.

but you do comeback though... it's a process. rehab forces you to be active while recovering which is optimal. 4 weeks of an inpatient treatment followed up by an outpatient treatment can do amazing things in terms of speeding up your recovery.

 

[seeyounextfallllll]

First of all, you have what it takes to handle this.

If you know you want to change, call your doctor tonight and leave a voicemail telling her:
1) Your prescription is causing severe problems with depression, mood swings, anxiety and paranoia. You do not have to admit that you have been abusing your prescription.
2) You want to make an appointment to re-evaluate your prescription. There are other drugs to help you with your low energy. It might be as simple as switching you from adderall to vyvanse--you could still have the energy and intensity of focus without the mood swings and crashes. Look into it.

I understand what you're struggling with. You can make effective change. You got this.

 

[dirzted]

First of all, you have what it takes to handle this.


I understand what you're struggling with. You can make effective change. You got this.

This