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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Misc Addiction

If you don't understand the concept of addiction as a member of the human race, you're either not trying to understand, you're stupid or you're being willfully ignorant.

We all know what it's like to have our desire for pleasure conflict with what is objectively best for our health. America is in fact a nation of obese people who cannot stop eating processed foods despite their bodies and minds being destroyed. We have an army of young virgin men who are addicted to pornography, feel shame, feel isolation, hate themselves, yet they keep doing it. We have people who completely destroy their brains every day through consuming meaningless media over the internet, yet it continues. We have people who become so addicted to money that they literally go insane and no longer have any connection to the real world or humanity.

All of these people get off on judging one another. They are all totally fucking sick in body and mind. As their minds shift ever more to the side of immediate pleasure, they cannibalize their fellows by putting them down, making themselves feel better for a moment before the existential misery sinks back in.

Addicts are easy targets. Our society has led a campaign of demonization against addicts specifically over the past 100 or so years. I imagine previously that addiction to substances would be no better or worse than any other vice. Our country demonizing addicts has led to a dearth of sympathy for our cause. Addicts end up on the street, given up on by their families for the townspeople to gawk at while they wait to disappear/die.

Even being gambling addict carries with it a weight of sophistication and elegance when compared to addiction. After all, it's legal. Families take trips to casinos. Hell, smart people with money are known to gamble. You don't often see the gambling addict, likewise out of money and beat, sitting in a tent in city hall park with the crack heads.

As much as the people who love you may feel they are acting on their own emotions, they are likely heavily influenced by the century of moral perspective regarding substance addiction. A sex addict can spread potentially deadly diseases, bear children that will grow up as orphans, destroy families and destroy the emotions of their sexual partners, yet sex addiction is almost a hilarious trope in our society.

If people were really trying to be human, they would do the hard work of putting themselves in the shoes of others. It may disgust them to even imagine themselves as an addict. The good people resist that urge and in doing so understand that addicts are suffering from the same struggles that every person faces in life. They can either dig deep and understand or they can take the easy route and vilify.

Addiction to substances is a series of compromises. It's the classic case of a person being told of the potential outcome. They know better than everyone else though. It's like people pulling out for birth control. It doesn't work, but it will certainly work for them. It's a person taking a payday loan because they know their supercharged brain will come up with something that will both pay back the loan and get them out of debt simultaneously. It's life.
 
rentedbythehour said:
How would you describe addiction to someone who has never been around a true addict? Someone who thinks it's a matter of simply choosing to stop.
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ask them how abt u just simply choosing to stop eating or breathing ;) its so simple, just stop it or are u so dumb u cant handle a simple task ahahha ;)
 
I asked the question because I was trying to explain it to a friend of mine who has never experienced or been around addiction. His girlfriend is about to go to prison because it's her third time failing in drug court. He doesn't really understand why she didn't just stop. I tried explaining it's not really a choice. For some people, the addiction gets so deep that nothing else matters. I personally have never gotten to that point so I don't completely understand it. I know if I were faced with months in jail, followed by years in prison, I would be clean. I have never really understood the people so deep in addiction that they end up in jail, get high while pregnant or lose their kids. Or the ones who sell their kids for drugs. There are some really extreme addicts out there.
I saw some of it first hand. My sister had a son born addicted to drugs. She couldn't stop taking pills so she lost custody of her 3 kids. She's been to rehab multiple times but still uses. And then you hear about the people who will trade their kids for drugs. It's strange how there are people like me, who have no issue stopping for months at a time and starting up again. It's been like this my entire life, cigarettes, alcohol, cocaine, ecstasy, meth. Then you get the other extreme with the things I just described. I don't judge anyone because I do understand that everything has different experiences and it affects people in different ways. I just don't know how it can get to such s dark bad place. I'm trying to explain this to someone who has never experienced any of this lifestyle.
 
Going further, I feel I have some wisdom to share. I've been off and on Opioids and to a lesser extent Alcohol many times.

@Littana mentioned a comparison to needing to eat, which I understand.

Once people are addicts and don't stop? The biggest reason is that they don't try hard enough. Don't get me wrong, often we aren't even sure what we need to commit to in the first place.

For instance, medical detox and 30 day rehab is the cornerstone of the "recovery industry". This is far from a realistic idea. Sure, it can be a great start for someone who will follow through heavily once released, but in and of itself it is not a cure for addiction.

If you want to get sober, you need to do everything to change your life. A serious addict? The reality is they will spend a couple of years of hard work before they can claim "normalcy".

Most people don't want to admit how serious the recovery process is. It requires complete dedication. Most people are not truly prepared for what it takes.

They don't want to waste time going to an hour meeting every day. They're busy. They have a job. They have a family.

This is all reasonable. However, you will lose all of that anyway if you don't dedicate anyway, only to find yourself in the same situation with even more pressure on you.

People don't dedicate themselves often because they don't understand the difficulty of their situation until it's too late.

You have to teach yourself how to not eat anymore. Imagine how you feel when you have to miss lunch, then start figuring out how you're going to live your life for the next 2 years without disintegrating.
 
I would say the closest kin to addiction that someone unfamiliar with might be able to identify with would be obsessive compulsive disorder. That's in essence what addiction is imo, an unhealthy obsession over and compulsion to use/do _________, despite obvious and disproportionate negative impact. It's a misfiring of the brain, whatever the fixation is on is irrelevant.
 
Keif' Richards said:
Going further, I feel I have some wisdom to share. I've been off and on Opioids and to a lesser extent Alcohol many times.

@Littana mentioned a comparison to needing to eat, which I understand.

Once people are addicts and don't stop? The biggest reason is that they don't try hard enough. Don't get me wrong, often we aren't even sure what we need to commit to in the first place.

For instance, medical detox and 30 day rehab is the cornerstone of the "recovery industry". This is far from a realistic idea. Sure, it can be a great start for someone who will follow through heavily once released, but in and of itself it is not a cure for addiction.

If you want to get sober, you need to do everything to change your life. A serious addict? The reality is they will spend a couple of years of hard work before they can claim "normalcy".

Most people don't want to admit how serious the recovery process is. It requires complete dedication. Most people are not truly prepared for what it takes.

They don't want to waste time going to an hour meeting every day. They're busy. They have a job. They have a family.

This is all reasonable. However, you will lose all of that anyway if you don't dedicate anyway, only to find yourself in the same situation with even more pressure on you.

People don't dedicate themselves often because they don't understand the difficulty of their situation until it's too late.

You have to teach yourself how to not eat anymore. Imagine how you feel when you have to miss lunch, then start figuring out how you're going to live your life for the next 2 years without disintegrating.
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See I understand what you're saying here and I think for the most part it's true. I do think there is some involvement with the brain that leaves the addict powerless to make those changes. I don't think it's not trying hard enough or not making the commitment. I have about 30+ years of experimenting with drugs. I've done pretty much l all the big ones. I've only used heroin and fentanyl a few times and have never shot anything. I use meth daily now, but I've been thru all the main drugs, all the 90s club drugs, benzos, cocaine, crack, ghb, weed, pain pills, etc. I've never been to rehab. I have only gone to meetings as a support for someone else. I used the word experiment for me because that's pretty much what it is. I do have the ability to make a decision about using. I can and have put it down for months and years at a time, without any kind of detox or assistance. Now that we're actually talking about this, I just wonder what makes it so hard for some people while others can just take it or leave it. I can't really fathom knowing you're going to lose everything and not be able to stop getting high. I respect that going thru rehab is intense. I know it's scary. I know you really have to make a commitment to work on yourself while you're there. I really don't think there's a one size fits all rehab. I like the explanation of addiction being like OCD. It's compulsion and you can't make yourself stop. I have experienced that but not with anything drug related. I have been a picker all my life. And adding folliculitis to that and I can spend hours and hours picking ingrown hairs. I can not make myself stop. I've had to ask my friends to come and make me stop because I couldn't do it on my own. Comparing that to addiction is pretty close if you ask me.
 
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And to be honest there are a lot of people out there that are completely naive to addiction. They have no clue. My mom was married to an addict, has 3 addict children and still hasn't the slightest idea about any of it. I don't know if that's because she chooses ignorance or if she's just pretending like none of this ever happened
.
 
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There are often open days at narcotics anonymous and alcoholics anonymous that allow non-addicts (like friends and family) to understand people's issues.
 
BK38 said:
There are often open days at narcotics anonymous and alcoholics anonymous that allow non-addicts (like friends and family) to understand people's issues.
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Open meetings. 👍 Also groups like Al-Anon, they're just for the close family of addicts and alcoholics, focusing on codependency and coping. Helped my mom and my half brother a ton when she was younger, married to an abusive alcoholic husband in her first marriage and then the same thing with my father. But yeah, those groups have been out there for a while, and their numbers have likely grown to match the growing addiction issues across all sectors of society.
 
Yes I know about those groups. Maybe I'll talk my friend into going to al-anon. I always think the best people to help others are the ones who have gone thru it. They understand more than anyone who has never experienced dependency.
 
rentedbythehour said:
How would you describe addiction to someone who has never been around a true addict? Someone who thinks it's a matter of simply choosing to stop.
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I suffer from ptsd. The trauma happened when I was a child. If I could choose to now? Now that I'm married and have a child I've raised who is at the age I was when what happened to me happen? I stop. Easy right? Not so easy when you've been self medicating for 30 years and the meds you've been prescribed never work or not for long or the side effects are so bad that it's not worth it. I get that I'm a POS because periodically (usually not my fault entirely) my life blows up in my face. But I remain a faithful partner and dependable father. 20+ years now on heroin/fent well started with OG oxy in my teens. I don't take too much but it's the only drug I've ever had that stops my nightmares, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts etc, it's like a warm silk glove that cradles my heart and makes me OK. And that's besides the point that id be unbearably sick if I stopped. I'm in recovery now but it's just another part of the cycle. I got completely sober for about six months and I was such a mess I started using again to save my relationship, my job and get my life back in order. Crazy right? I'll admit I was kind of an anomaly in rehab and group counselors hate to call on you and ask what you've lost and I'm still gainfully hired, in a relationship and a father active in the community. It's not expected. Fuck I don't even smoke weed or drink or do anything else bc when my son was born (or 9 months before) I felt I grew out of it. People use for different reasons but anyone can be an addict especially if the try something that clicks with them. But if you don't believe me chase the dragon for 6 months and then just stop. And reassess.
 
rentedbythehour said:
And to be honest there are a lot of people out there that are completely naive to addiction. They have no clue. My mom was married to an addict, has 3 addict children and still hasn't the slightest idea about any of it. I don't know if that's because she chooses ignorance or if she's just pretending like none of this ever happened
.
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My immediate family (minus my 18 year sober mom) is like this. They refuse to understand or even try really.
 
@Psychlone Jack excellent addition to the thread. I really left it on the table by forgetting to mention Al-Anon and its related groups.

I hate that I even have to say this, but be aware that there is a program called "Narconon" that is actually a scientology front. It's relation to the 12-step programs is coincidental.

For what it's worth, these programs seem equally effective for loved ones as the opposite programs are for addicts.
 
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