Addicted

[Mr. Horse]

Hey guys, I dont want to start a sombre post but I believe it has pretty deep relevance amoung bluelighters.
Now, I have been a recreational drug user for a while now, and have enjoyed dibbling and dabbling with various substances but there is ALWAYS a drug which I come back to. pot.
I have been smoking for ages but never really considered myself addicted, but now I cant sleep without a bit of a toke and its always on my mind throughout the day. I'm grumpy all the time and my memory has gone to the shitter. My marks have been good, but not as good as they could be. Its been like this for about 6 weeks now and today is the day it stops. This is not a sympathy post by any means of the imagination. Addiction is a selfish act in which only you can kick the habit (most of the time). My question to all of you, is have you ever been addicted to any substance and how did you deal with it?
I have been hunting amoung the archives and found some really interesting threads in which a few of you confess to being addicted to eckies and such.
Has anyone ever been seriously addicted to a substance which really effected them both physically and mentally?
Also, is anyone finding that the whole "going out" is ruining uni or school? I limit myself to one big one every 8 or 9 weeks because I enjoy going out so much I have to put constraints on myself

So what are peoples opinions on addiction. I think everyone here has had to fight off the urge some time or another, whether it be being addicted to substance, addicted to going out or whatever.
I'm interested - Horse
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"Faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death."
Hunter S. Thompson

 

[applesbliss]

The way I operate is...
I get addicted to a drug for a short period of time. Be it, few weeks, months.
There is just something that clicks where I want to change. And I completely lose interest, and drop the drug cold turkey everytime.
Most drugs, at least the drugs of importance I space out as much as possible. Now because a person smokes weed everyday doesn't mean its not special. But its amazing what it feels like with some time in between toking. Some will disagree. And I disagree sometimes to. Thats why I'll go through the few weeks/months I'll just be really into a drug
and stop.
Your all right Mr horse. You'll discover better things.

applesbliss-
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***-apples-powered

 

[Cowboy Mac]

Well i never smoked mull to the extent where i could get addicted so in tha respect im fine. Though i can understand about the school thing horse, last semester my friends parents went away o/s for 3 weeks and i stayed at his place for that time. Now pretty much we did a lot of fuck nut things (fun at the time) but then i went to uni about once durign those 3 weeks and i could say it ruined my semester.
However i think that if i hadnt stayed at his place i probably wouldve found some other excuse not to go, so depending how you look at things, you could blame drugs, or you can look at yourself and ask if there were no drugs, would i be any different, i know i wouldnt be.
good luck on it horse.

 

[candyflip]

I don't have an addictive personality and do drugs recreationally when I feel it's right...at the moment, that means I haven't dropped a pill in 8 weeks (but who's counting!)

Can you imagine me doing something as intensive as The Peak!, coming down each week?....Losing every Sunday?...no way...
Because of that, I'm not much help I'm afraid...my smoking days are long since passed (with Uni)...I found it had all the effects you mention, plus I just didn't feel healthy or 'normal' anymore...unhealthy and abnormal is more like it...
Long term effects of dope smoking are well documented, so I won't bore you with it, except to say I think you've made the right choice.
we love you Horse man... if you need a straight weekend, you call me..

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The latest Event info, Pill Tests and Club Listings, online: http://www.the-peak.com.au

 

[MíkeySåmmy]

yeah i dont feel i am addicted to any substance really.. not so much so that its making a negative impact on my development and lifestyle.
i think my problem is that i'm moderately addicted to partying.. cant get enough of it, and so as a result, particularly lately, i've been going to parties and staying straight. and believe me, you feel way better in the morning.. being tired instead of coming down.
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"the red blinky world is a whole lot different to this one"

 

[BigTrancer]

Mr Horse, here's my quick suggestion off the cuff. It has worked for me (and friends) at times. When the green gets the better of you and you feel like the motivation is leaving, have a week where you only smoke every second day, or try it for a couple of weeks. That way you slowly take a step back - and maybe the next week leave 2 days between tokes. Hopefully that way you can step back without it hurting too much.
I know what you mean about the parties and stuff but I always come back to the pot, and it always wants to steal my motivation. Lethargy is not a nice side effect if you want to get anything done. Good luck man, I'm right there with, and for, you. Email me if you want someone to chat to.
BigTrancer

 

[Psyentist aka plastikman]

I'm hearing you Horsey. I seriously think that I'm addicted to E, not physically but psycologically.
I've made a decision to limit my rolls to once a month, a big step back from a guy who had been rolling every weekend for god knows how long.
I've been going to parties straight and having a great time. It's a bit hard when your mates are all off their nut, but nothing worth doing is ever easy.
Good luck with you efforts.

 

[Voodoo Chile]

plastikman,
I haven't been doing it for that long, and I limit myself to every 3 or 4 weeks, but I know that some of my friends who have been doing it for a long time felt that they had become addicted to the party scene and possibly pschologically addicted to e.
They ended up cutting back severely on going out, when they said that they started to feel 'dumb'.
I think it would be quite easy to become pschologically addicted to e. In the weeks that I dont go out, I crave the feeling that e gives me. Not physically, but mentally. I look forward to the next time we go out, and can hardly wait. I crave the scene in general, but I also crave the feeling of oneness with my friends.......hmmmmmm, I think I am glad that I dont go out every week now. I think I would find it hard to stop!

 

[Darkblade]

I have to say that I never get adicted to anythig. I am actually violently against physically addictive drugs. I hate speed, mj, H, Coke etc...
Yeah, I hate them so I don't take them. Mind you, I haven't even tried half of these, but I am unwilling to because of the addiction potential (and because I hate coke/speed heads).
Yeah I know it's judgemental and stuck up, but I find that these people do not mix with my personality. I am fairly strong willed and opinionated, but I tend to be a person who likes to enhace peoples self esteem.
WTF...where'd that come from.....
Sorry 'bout the speil,
DB

 

[Mr. Horse]

darkblade: how can you say you dont associate with people who smoke dope or do coke and heroin. Do you do drugs?
Its so rude to say you wont associate with people who do these drugs, and I know way more than half the people on this board have tried most of the drugs you talked about.
I take it as an insult that, because of the way I lead my life, you wouldnt associate with me. But with that said, I doubt I would associate with someone who is as closedminded as you. Sorry, but thats how it comes across.
BT and da' gang: Thanks so much. You guys are the absolute best BUT its not a huge problem. I havent let it get to the point where I *need* a smoke, but I was finding it harder and harder to get to sleep without a quickie, so thats it!!

and I will deal with it the way I deal with every other addiction in my life: cold turkey. It seems to be the only way for me to kick things. I smoked ciggies for a year and a half and went cold turkey and I havent been addicted for about 4 months now. Socially, I do smoke ciggies sometimes, but I havent bought a deck in 4 months.
So anyway, thanks heaps. I think sleeping tonight will be alittle bit of a strain but rather that than scatterness 24-7!!

- Horse
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"Faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death."
Hunter S. Thompson

 

[sunni]

Horsey, i am sad thinking about this topic. I have never been addicted to anything but my recently ex b/f is addicted to mj. He's one of those 'i can stop any time i want, i just don't want to yet' guys. Except, deep down he really does want to stop. The (main) reason we broke up is that he always reaches for a bong instead of dealing with his problems & so his problems just keep growing like weed (hey, i can still make jokes!). Anyways, i've already had a big sob about this in 'chill out', i just wanted to give you a big, big hug (well, an IOU at least) & say good for you for admitting to yourself that you want to change your life & for actually doing something about it.
much love
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to the crazy person, the normal one is insane

 

[mona]

So when does the pot thing become an addiction?
Horsey - you know what I'm talking about, we had a bit of an ICQ discussion the other day..
*I* don't think I'm addicted to pot. Yet I smoke it everyday. Used to be only when I finished all my schoolwork for that day, and it was kind of a way to help me relax.. it still is, but i'm finding myself wanting that cone (and i usually only have one cone a day during the week - weekends differ, and holidays..well you can imagine)as soon as I get home from school..
ANYWAY, the past week or so I've been wanting that cone BEFORE school.. BEFORE grocery shopping.. BEFORE this BEFORE that.. it's starting to worry me (the day I have a cone before school is the day I re-evaluate i reckon)..hmm,... where is this going.. how 'bout I cut and paste a bit of me and horsey's convo...
(after Mr Horse acked if I was addicted to pot)
mona: "umm.. i dunno. i have never tried to stop.. i miss it when i dont have it - i mean.. i went to sydney last weekend and forgot my cones.. and i didn't crave them.. but i guess it was only one day without... cause i bought more the day i realised i was low..

"
So the deal is, I DO miss the cones if they're not there.. i don't like the thought of being without them (but i also hate the thought of not having a half weight of speed in my wallet, which is the case atm and i'm dealing with it ok), but I have never tried to stop, so i can't be sure whether I 'need' that cone to sleep or not. Ya know?
I 'DO' know that when entropope and I both decided not to have cones one day we didnt last very long.. but my excuse was.. "I don't NEED it.. I just WANT it" heh.. sounds familiar hey?
Blah.
Blah.
Blah.
ATM, I feel that cones aren't affecting my schoolwork, they're not affecting my social life (i have none..teehee, not a bi-product of the smoking, but just because I like staying home and playing with my toys..i'm over the partying for the moment), and i'm not spending big amounts of money on it or smoking large quantities...
But the pot thing is all a mystery to me... i'm fairly new to smoking regularly, and i dont know how these addictions form or what shape they take when they actually take hold. I guess I just trust myself and the fact that i know myself and know when things are out of whack. Good on you horsey for knowing when things are out of whack

Cheers,
mona.

 

[Acid_Reign]

Oh, that "i don't need to,,,i just want to" thing rings a bell

Just before the middle school holidays i started having a cone everyday. It was an intense time at school but it didn't bother me

Then I went to the goldcoast for 2 weeks and didn't have access to weed, and it didn't bother me at all. No cravings at all. I came back home and started having cones all weekend, then i got a new 1/4 oz every wednesday which i resold so i never actually paid for smoke. So i had to "test my weed out" every wednesday. Then thursday always happended. Friday was part of the weekend

I was always thinking "on the weekends and a tiny bit during the week". Then i thought about it friday saturday and sunday i got quite stoned with friends then one wednesday and thursday i had as much as i could fit into one cone

"just one cone"

I figured that was 5 days of the week. I stopped for 2 weeks over exams and said "shit, i feel so good" and i did, i felt great.
Now I've cut back to just once maybe twice on the weekend. And when i do have my sessions they really rock

Giggle my ass off like a little girl. Forget how light switches work

Thats my story, but the point is. I only feel like a cone when i have easy access to one. So if i don't have any smoke at my house then it's not a problem. If i want to stop at any point because i feel I'm slipping I just get all the weed out of my house. Simple solution.
I think if you want to stop you can. You just have to say "I will not have a cone for 3 days" and don't talk yourself into it under any cirumstances. "i don't need a cone,,,i want it"

Hmmm,,,I'm starting to ramble.
Acid_Reign

 

[rikidozan]

argh, you cant be addicted to herbs. if you are seriously feelin that your addicted to gunja, then you aint got no willpower!!
weed is pretty easy to kick the habit, its just a matter if ya want to or not!

 

[fat tony]

i got too that point as well, smokin just to get to sleep. i started off waiting till my parents had gone to bed, and it gradually got earlier until i'd smoke and then go watch tv with em. i was allowed to smoke ciggies so it was no biggie for me to go outside for a "ciggy".
until then i'd aways wait for my little bro to go to bed, who was only seven, so when i started smokin b4 he was in bed i got worried. i felt like an addict using around my brother.
then i started smokin before dinner and then as soon as i got home, and then i got real worried. u get to that point where u stop and look at yourself and you dont like what u see anymore. i dont think i was 'addicted' as such, but i was on my way.
but it took my girl (of 8 months) to dump me to really wake me up. losing something that important really hit home. so it was her that saved me, by letting me know.
so i up and quit, for like 6 months at first. and from that day i still only have the occasional smoke on a comedown. also i replaced smoking with regular exercise, which helps a shitload. u feel so dirty when u smoke too much.
its cool coz the same thing happened to a mate a bit after me, and he said exactly the some sorta stuff that i felt.
so horse, ure a smart dude, if u dont like whats goin on, change it.
btw - thought u were doin yr 12 this year? how the fudge do you keep you marks up when u smoke everyday?
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let me take you high with the breaks, and low with the bass.
[This message has been edited by fat tony (edited 31 July 2000).]

 

[Magoo]

Voodoo Chile, I know exactly what you mean. I haven't rolled for 4 weeks now (the longest period I have gone since Easter). I will be going out this weekend, but not taking anything, but I crave that feeling of an E, every day I look forward to my next roll, and as each day passes my anxiousness plays with me, as to the point whether it be next weekend or 4 weeks from now I finally decide I feel like rolling this weekend.
Mr Horse, as for pot, I only smoke on weekends and in general only on Friday nights. I smoke joints though, not cones, 5 of us get together at a friends house, sit around listen to some Pink Floyd, and smoke 10 joints over a 7 hour period. The only other time I smoke joints or cones is at raves and after them. I have never felt addicted to pot, but I do look forward to my Friday's.
Congrats on your decision Nice one bruvva, I SAID FUCKING NICE ONE BRUVVA and we're all here for ya.
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sniff it like an amylmal

 

[SketchE]

yep you can quite easily have too much of a good thing... sounds like the uk scene is like that... too much of everything equals some pretty messed up people, like a generation of them!!! Time will tell

 

[atomica]

well, i never touch the weed cuz it does bad things to me, but my brother has been addicted for like 8 years!!! it just got to be more and more till it was *all* the time, and when he finally tried to quit, not only could he not sleep but had major anxiety attacks and was put on ssri's and valium by the doctor to cope. his life was seriously messed in so many ways, and he was *so* horrible to live w/. (its not nearly as bad now he's slowed down a lot)
i think its too much when you are finding yourself making justifications to smoke (or party..) at times when good sense should tell you it's not in your own best interest.
so horse, congrats on your decision to stop it here and now, before it gets too hard to handle

my thoughts are with you

as for the partying.. i've been doing way too much of that this year. my work suffers and my school suffers. i hate it when we go out and we just really have to have something. even when we've planned to go straight we always change our minds. i feel extra bad that i'm usually the weak one and talk asymmetry into getting something when he maybe would have stayed straight. i feel selfish about that

ahwell, time to have a quiet w/end i guess, listen to my good sense and slow it right down for a while

hey, maybe we could have a *totally sober* bluelight meet, and go party straight for a night, we'd have each other for support.. ??

smilez everyone, keep it safe n keep it moderate

 

[matt e]

I have been smoking pot for about 5-6 years now, and just recently (last year or so) I have been smoking every day (about a gram a day). Apart from being f*cking expensive, I can't sleep at all if I'm not stoned. I don't mean one toke and I'm high, I have to be smashed to sleep. So basically this means a fat smoke B4 bed and a "bongover" in the morning... every morning. I really want to quit the hooch but it's really hard 'cause all of my friends smoke so someone's always got some and we all smoke about a pack a day (ciggies).
I guess eventually it's going to be cold turkey or nothing at all, but I empathise with all struggling pot heads out there. It's a bitch of a habit to drop.
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matt e
I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees.

 

[entropope]

i think the ease of stopping is different for every single person.
Myself its pretty fucken hard. For some guy/girl in highschool, still growing up and developing in personality and only having smoked for a year or two, its easy... relativlely.
For myself I smoked a lot of pot when I was growing up and my personality was forming into what it is. Cones have become embedded in that personality (which one?) and hence they are kind of a part of ME. Makes it hard to stop.
When I do stop I feel much better for it. As far as my usuage of mentalities goes. But I also feel like I'm missing or forgetting something pretty much constantly, in the background of course

I don't see myself stopping any time soon. I did myself stopping a few months ago... but then mona came over and she's such a bad influence

joking, girlfriend.