addicted to speedball

[psilocybin420]

I am daniel I was a previous opiate addict but only heroin, never coke tooo so it was easy for me to quit the first time, get into a methadone clinic, and clean up.

I made a horrible mistake, i decided to try a speedball. My idea was to buy a half gram of coke and half of heroin, and call it a day.

The first hit and ive been hooked for 4 days. right now im in idaho and just did my last glorious shot. Its like being in heaven. the best feeling anyone could imagine.

Now i wont do one without the other. Its sooo good together, like peanut butter and jelly. I feel a huge addiction coming on. I have methadone so i can stay well but i know right when i get back to where i can get hooked up its going to be the hardest thing of my life. I got off heroin easy but this mix, is soo amazingly great ill never get off it. i was hooked on heroin for 3 years then clean one year, now i find speedball and love it sooooo much that i cant get off it. help

 

[itsok]

if ur h addiction took u anywhere low, this will take u the same place faster. at the clinic, if u test dirty what happens? are u honest w them? i go to a mmt clinic and i can be honest with them. it really is up to u, hope the magic will wear off and u will really want to quit for urself. i used to like speedballs, and just relapsed on one a lil while ago and i didnt like it anymore, the coke made me paranoid. then i realized it was stupid of me to risk losing my job and etc...

many ppl like speedballs when they first try, and often they get to the dark place much faster, i dont wish that on u. just see if it's worth it to u and make sure u rn't jepordizing anything super important to u.

 

[psilocybin420]

if ur h addiction took u anywhere low, this will take u the same place faster. at the clinic, if u test dirty what happens? are u honest w them? i go to a mmt clinic and i can be honest with them. it really is up to u, hope the magic will wear off and u will really want to quit for urself. i used to like speedballs, and just relapsed on one a lil while ago and i didnt like it anymore, the coke made me paranoid. then i realized it was stupid of me to risk losing my job and etc...

many ppl like speedballs when they first try, and often they get to the dark place much faster, i dont wish that on u. just see if it's worth it to u and make sure u rn't jepordizing anything super important to u.

I go to college worst thing is losing my life,
but I have had clean UA for a year
Ill loose take homes, and trust. Im scared to be upfront at the clinic because they will take away my takehomes

The coke doesnt make me paranoid. Its so intense for 3 mins i cant do anything but dwell on how great it is to feel in heaven. I even forget to take the needle out of my arm if I do a Good enough shot.

But then the coke wears off, and im preparing another shot in 2 hours. I love it its like this electric feeling and 1000x better than any orgasm. I cant emagine anything that would make me feel better than that. One shot was all it took. Now im out 400 bucks and wanting more.

 

[psilocybin420]

And the H was soooo easy to kick , your right this will bring me down so insanely fast. Methadone got me off Opiates fast and easy I thought I was done with drugs now this. It sucks

 

[effie]

Hi Daniel, thank you for sharing that

Speedballs can be incredibly seductive, but this doesn't mean you are definitely going to become addicted.. it's really good that you are on methadone, I would strongly encourage you to carry on with that. Have you had any addiction counselling or tried any programmes like NA?

I know how hard it will be to do this, but it really comes down to you.. you could try writing a list of all the negative things about speedballs (risk of death, risk of severe addiction and the impact that will have on your life, messing up college, huge cost etc) and a list of other things you want out of life (eg succeed at college, be happy and healthy, save up for something) and look over them when you feel tempted? Perhaps start saving up for a treat (non-drugs related!) too so you feel like the money you save by not indulging is going towards something worthwhile?

Keep talking to us here too - there are a lot of people who can relate

 

[lostbutfound]

Four days man you don't gotta call yourself addicted unless that's what you want to be. You don't want the ball to rule your life then put it down and don't look back. That was never my thing but I know about the upper/downer appeal.

No mistakes. You make a choice now you make another choice if you aren't happy with it!

 

[itsok]

that's right. it was only four days and u had fun. so leave it at that if u can, and seek some counseling or some support if u feel tempted to continue. but again, the desire to stop has to come from you. if u are using speedballs for enjoyment, do u think u can leave it at that, like an occassional, well-planned treat?

 

[psilocybin420]

I think your right. I can probly be a chipper with it. Im doing fine today back on my methadone so even if I did do a shot of H, it would be like shooting water, besides im in idaho for thanksgiving and have no idea where to get it and its not worth the trouble

Im Just worried when i get back to salt lake, if I can stay clean. 260mgs of methadone keeps me well through the day. I dont wanna go back to that, your right. Maybe i should just use once a year or something, but then i loose my kinects and its harder to get. When i get back my brain is telling me call the dope dude, get a ball o coke and ball o black. My rational brain is telling me stay in school, study work hard, take my dose, but the addict inside me wants to get high. Thats all it boils down too.

 

[psilocybin420]

effie those are some great ideas thank you so much for your kindness. It is much apprieciated