Adderall and Valium addiction - Please, help.

[KeewRobar]

Hello. I really need some help here. I can't talk about this with anyone in real life because they think I'm just being whiny and I don't want anyone to bear the weight of my burdens, so I always have to put on a happy face whenever I talk to people. I had a really bad Adderall and Valium addiction starting around two years ago. It didn't start off as bad as it ended. I had been taking about 600mg of Adderall per week and 450mg of Valium per week at the peak and end of my addiction. Every week, I would have to wait until the next month afterward to get my prescription refilled, so I was always going in and out of withdrawal, but never for that long at a time. I haven't taken Valium or Adderall for over 7 months. I'm 19 right now and I was 17 back then. One thing that might be important to add is that I have something called Asperger's Syndrome, it's a developmental disorder that's kind of like autism, but not really. My happiness isn't coming back and my mind is always full of negative thoughts about myself. I've no motivation to do anything and I've wrecked a lot of relationships in my life from all of this. I don't talk to anyone but my mother anymore. I try to talk to people, but it's so unpleasant and nothing comes of it. Everything just seems so distant, and every time I find some happiness, it goes away just as quick as it came. What do you think is wrong and how do I fix it? I appreciate the feedback in advance.