Acting Out the First Revision

[spinkle]

Acting Out the First Revision

Giving an account of progress through time
without accounting for the actuality of the experience
a skeletal form lacking mass
deprived of the impact if failing to demonstrate
the effect of the event
though not distilled to a single moment
but rather charting the gravity of the occurrence
showing the alteration of current arcs
revealing vectors without focusing on explosions
words crumbling away to mirrors
refuting facts in favor of confession
disclosing clear and apparent
the definition of progress
untangled but only in this context
worthiness of preparation evident
in everything that has not been said
details not ignored as unimportant
but used as a point for departure
stretching out to seize and grasp
the idea of this immediacy
being called to explicate
artifacts and evidence of evolution
realizing through the inscription
that the writing itself is a moment of change
each sentence its own explanation.

 

[mini sari]

I'm lost for words, That was amazing

 

[FoxyKel]

It was good... but sometimes I think that you use such complex or 'busy' words that the reader spends so much time trying to udnerstand their true meaning that the meaning of the piece in general is somewhat lost...... or maybe I'm just too thick to get it.

Just an opinion, though.

 

[spinkle]

Tell me what you think the meaning of this piece is and I will tell you what was lost.

 

[chrissie]

i agree kel, i kinda got lost through it
like when youre reading something over and over but it doesnt sink in.

 

[spinkle]

unfortunately, this is how I think

 

[FoxyKel]

To be honest, I've not a clue what the meaning was in its entirely... like chrissie said, you kind of read it over and over again what what you actually meant wasn't sinking in... I wasn't intending to be offensive in my comment, just constructive.