• 💊 OTHER DRUGS 💊 Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads 1 Notable Threads 2
    Dangerous Combos Addiction Support
    Emergency Services Benzo Guide v.1
    Addiction Stories Scary Case Studies
    Biology, Pharmacology & Drugs 101
  • Select Your Topic Then Scroll Down
    Alcohol Bupe Benzos
    Cocaine Heroin Opioids
    RCs Stimulants Misc
    Harm Reduction All Topics Gabapentinoids
    Tired of your habit? Struggling to cope?
    Want to regain control or get sober?
    Visit our Recovery Support Forums

Benzos Abraxas Xanax story: How I started on low doses and turned into a monster

A

Abraxas365

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 25, 2017
Messages
2
​Hi everyone,

This is A. from Serbia. A. is just a normal every-day guy, who finished university, goes to work, plays football with his mates every weekend and so on.

But A. has a dark secret. Very dark. In 2008, when I was just a teenager we had a family tragedy and there was a lot of Xanax lying around, since my family was grieving.

It was my high school days, first love problems, school problems, so I started taking 2-3 0.5mg Xanax pills just to relax and feel good. Shortly after that I managed to get my hands on an unlimited Xanax prescription, so I could take how much I want, whenever I want.

Then I started taking 5-6 0.5mg pills, just to feel the euphoria and relax, to chill, I felt good.

But over the years it continued, periodically and I always needed higher doses to get he same effect. Soon, a couple of pills turned into 10-15, and months later into taking a whole box of xanax at once. I really got shocked when I realized that yesterday I took 300 pills (ten boxes) of 1mg Xanax which is goddamn 300mg.

I mean, I boosted up my tolerance over the long 9 years, but 300mg. That's just... Insane. And you know what's even worse? I didn't even blink, I just felt relaxed and normal, not sleepy or drugged.

Man, that's fucked up. Really, really fucked up. I'm trying to find a way to stop this madness and any advice from you guys would be helpful.

The problem is that I'm now so addicted to Alprazolam that if I don't take them I sweat, I'm nervous, having problems with normal chit-chats, my concentration is low.

My question: Does anyone have any advice how to get rid of this plague?

My message to teenagers: don't do prescription pills just because they technically not drugs and they make you feel good. You'll end up like me.

Sorry for the long post, I hope someone had the patience to read through all this
clear.png


Thanks guys
 
You need to slowly reduce how dose let time. You might even want to go to a Dr and figured out a taper program web a dr. 300 mg is a crazy high dose. If you ever missed your dose one day you will very likely have a fatal seizure. Seriously be careful.
 
If this is serious and not a troll post, you would most likely being having grand mal seizures when not taking any, much more than some nervousness and lack of concentration. You should see a doctor ASAP and begin a plan of tapering your dose gradually, probably also switching to diazepam. Do not try and treat this yourself. Most likely this tapering will take years until you are fully of benzos, if you ever are. You will probably see some serious after effects even after coming off.
 
Go see your GP. This kind of Benzo addiction is extreme and you NEED medical attention. I do not know about Serbia, but in Australia you can go to a center to ween off and get proper medical support everyday. Maybe you should consider that. Good luck.
 
Holy fuck. Abraxas, see a doctor. I just got off a 4 year Xanax addiction 3 months ago. I never dosed more than 10mg a day. I knew I was going to quit, so I weened down to 2mg a day for a few weeks, then got medical attention and was put on Klonopin taper. However I mistakenly tried to cold turkey the Xanax and was put on seizure watch in the ER. Four days later I started the Klonopin taper at 3mg down to .5, then completely off.

DO NOT try to kick the Xanax without seeing a doctor and getting a taper program, it will be fatal at your doses. This is going to take you a very long time to kick. The best advice you can get is to see a specialist for this addiction. Even after you come completely off, you will have post-WD symptoms for perhaps years... it's this unpleasant affliction called parathesia (pins and needles under your skin). Getting addicted to Xanax is quite possibly the worst thing I've ever done to myself, and getting off is probably the best thing. It will be very uncomfortable, but if I did it, you can too. Just see a doctor and do it right. Klonopin or Valium as a substitute is where you are headed. I know doctors will prescribe gabapentin for WD too, however I never took it. It's a mean addiction in itself, so watch out with Gabapentin or Lyrica.
Best of luck to you.
 
You must understand that I didn't come up to this amount in a short period of time. I am am now actively using Xanax for 8 years. And the tolerance was building moderately fast, I needed more, but never saw a problem. But I guess that my body is now in such a deep state of addiction that 300mg of Alprazolam affects me like it would affect someone who tries 0.5mg for the first time. No drowsiness, no sleepiness, nothing. Just relaxation and good mood.


But I realized that is just too much. I'm killing myself, I'm putting my health to a serious danger. I don't know should I apply for rehab or just try to lower the doses gradually and eventually come off.


Any advice is appreciated. Thank you guys for supporting me.
 
Do you have an unlimited supply? If so you can try your own taper. I honestly think you need a medically supervised taper by a specialist.
 
It took me 2 years to come off of a 20-30 mg per day xanax/clonazepam addiction. U should definitely see a doc.
I personally was put on 100 mgs of diazepam once daily and tapered from there. 100 mgs held me perfectly, especially after a few doses and I had a good amount of it in my blood.

I myself also had a pretty much unlimited source, the Darknet is a hell of a place, and the amount of money I'd pay for 250 2 mg clonazepam and or xanax bars was insanely low.not to mention all the double dosed bars I bought, and alprazolam blotters, and powder. Injectable midazolam vials, xanax infused candy....The internet is a terrible place for a benzo addict lol.

I'd have to say see a doctor and switch to diazepam, or at the very least clonazepam. Failing that u may have taper the xanax as best you can
 
OntarioGuy said:
I'd have to say see a doctor and switch to diazepam, or at the very least clonazepam. Failing that u may have taper the xanax as best you can
Click to expand...

Do what he said, ive had a seizure from cold turkey Ativan withdrawl and its not the way you want to die, it is very painful
 
Abraxas, we understand the concept of tolerance, that plus you've been on Xanax for 8 years. No one is judging, our tolerance would be the same had we used that long. I was lucky to not ever exceed 10mg in my 4 year abuse, but that was mostly battling with supply and toughing out night after night after night. It got too much, I got help. I used Klonopin (taper) and used a professional to help me, and had the support of a few that had been through benzo WD. YOU DON'T have to do this alone.. it is scary shit alone. And there are people that genuinely want to help you. Why? Because they have been through it, and they know how hard it is. And something about that experience makes one want to help and guide others through the same thing. Honest truth.
 
Last edited:
I'd also like to add, that when I tapered off 100 mgs of
Diazepam, I did it properly, over 2 years, and I basically cheated the withdrawal. I suffered very very little, if any withdrawal symptoms. I used lyrica once I got to about 40 mgs I think, and I used it when I jumped off of 1 mg of diazepam. I used 50 mgs 2x daily, I suffered no withdrawal at all, and then I dropped to 50 mgs of lyrica once daily, then dropped it totally with no symptoms.
 
Ya, i wish I could find that fucking bottle of Lyrica I had. Four months off of Xanax and Klonopin taper and the parathesia is killing me. Pins and needles and bugs under the skin. Toes feel like exploding, ears ring, and scalp and bridge of nose have pins all over them. This is apparently normal and lasts for months to a year. I have read Lyrica helps as its a nerve medication and what I am experiencing is the nervous system bouncing back and fucking with my extremities, ie - toes and ears, etc...
I tried Gabapentin one night and after a few hours of taking it, I became extremely dizzy like I was suffering a blood sugar attack. 800Mg I believe. I know most people are prescribed Neurontin or Lyrica coming off benzos... unfortunately they wouldnt do this for me. And I tapered with Klonopin relatively fast. Probably too fast and now I get Parathesia.

Abraxas. TAPER benzos SLOWLY. I would like to rewind and do it differently and go slower with the taper, but Im this far in, im staying with this.
 
^^^sounds like u went to fast. Like I said I got lucky by being in Canada and having a good Doctor to prescribe me a high dose of diazepam too get stable, then reduce my dose very, very gradually. I honestly probably would have went lower then 1 mg of Diaz with a volumetric milk reduction, but I went to jail.

I jumped off with no symptoms at all. Actually, now that I think of it, when I'd lay down for bed, my hearing would sound like I was listening to the inside of a sea shell.it wasn't particularly uncomfortable or distressing though

I think what the doctors did for me is what they should do for every seriously benzodiazepine dependent patient: admit them to the hospital and find a stable dose of diazepam to replace current benzo. Once stable, keep the patient on a once daily dose of diazepam "a la" methadone, then reduce once a solid support system and plan is established.

Perhaps you could talk to a doc about a plan like this Abraxas?
 
damn, we keep seeing more and more posters whi stories and heroic benzo addictions just like yours on here.

your only option is a medically supervised taper, and it should be in-patient. at least until they've weaned you down to a manageable level.
wish you the nest man, benzo wd is a nightmare.
 
^^ in my case I was kept as an in patient for about 4 weeks before being discharged on a stable dose of Valium with a reasonable taper plan
 
Xanax is the work of the Devil, if only for the number of fatal heroin overdoses it precipitates daily. If you have anxiety, it can be a Godsend but, trust me, it's a seductive siren song that will wreck your body and life if you take enough.
 
^^ Couldn't agree more. I have a desire to spend the rest of my life advocating against the abuse of Xanax. One of my last relapses I had spent 4 months clean.. decided to pop a 2mg bar and then IV a hit of heroin. That was on OD.
I'm a bit worried I have permanent nerve damage as I've been inflicted with Parasethia... feet feel like they are permanently asleep, cold at night, and the toes feel like they are going to explode. Ears ring and top of ears feel like they are consistently getting pierced. Scalp burns and the bridge of my nose and cheekbones have the sensation of tiny bugs under them. It's been 3 months and I understand this lasts for 6-7 months to a year, sometimes permanent in extreme cases.
I read all the warnings and horror stories of Xanax addiction but failed to heed them.
There is no way to convince people just how awful the detox is. I wish in some sci-fi future a pill existed to hand out to patients that get scripts that simulate parasethia. No one would ever get addicted! Well, sadly some people still would.. but that would be a huge deterrent!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top