sorry I didn't reply, I had to take a break from the forum as I was getting way too obsessive over my reactions to DLPA and Theanine and the anxiety/nerve damage that followed. Here's a little update:
Coming to terms with it all now (see above post). I know what these threads read like - obsessive/anxious person worrying about their symptoms and making it all worse. I am far more collected and rational now, but symptoms continue.
Went to GP - had full bloods, have been referred to a Neurologist for 4th Sept.
Found out I have Gilbert's Syndrome, a slightly dysfunctional liver, which explains a lot of my sensitivities to drugs and alcohol in general - I never had been one for high doses of anything.
The anxiety is obsessional for sure. But the DLPA and later the Theanine definitely had their own sort of physiological effects. I can tell you neither were pleasant, and no amount of typical relaxation techniques sorted me out for days or weeks after.
Symptoms of nerve damage continue, I have a 24/7 tremor down my back, some call it an "internal tremor". Peripheral numbness, tingling, sharp pains - all kind of along the lines of fibromyalgia.
Basically I believe some sort of toxicity plus concurrent toxic events and a weak liver led to this. I strongly believe anxiety is a physiological problem, not a thinking problem. So it doesn't really matter what comes first, the chicken or the egg, it's all a feedback loop. Training your thinking and your relaxation skills will make physiological changes over time so you become less anxious. Toxic drug events or just a bad dose of drugs in general will make sudden physiological changes which mess up your ability to control your thinking or your anxiety.
I'm not saying DLPA or Theanine are demons on their own, but I am saying that with my brain chemistry, whatever is up with it after everything I've put myself through, I had some pretty adverse reactions to them both and am still feeling the damage now. I have however, also read of people suffering with anxiety alone, PTSD, fibro etc, who all have similar symptoms to mine. I believe their toxicity may have come from any number of other sources plus their well cemented anxiety/obsessional fear and trauma loops and physiological changes in their brain and nervous system.
My main hope now is with long term healthy living and relaxation, I can heal my nervous system.
Trying to learn to self regulate through some very experiential therapy, and trying to cultivate a gabaminergic system again, without drugs if possible. Any advice would be appreciated. Also my dopamine system is totally shot, I'm still getting this random disorienting euphoria after exercise that leaves me very uncomfortable, and very sad I have to avoid tea now due to the theanine. Have considered iboga in a year or 2 depending on my progress in the next few months. Apart from that maybe low dose Lithium.
