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About me...

bwanajzj

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 5, 2010
Messages
294
Location
Scavenging the savannah for ancient wisdom
Hello fellow dopeys!

I am new here, but I have been reading many threads for quite some time, and figured it was time to register - the few times I tried in the past, the forum was closed for registration, so I guess today was my lucky day:).

I sort of live a life of split personality, I suppose I am not the only one here with that 'problem.' I have a good job and I study at university, both at which no one really knows the side of me that uses illicit substances. Well, not entirely true, many people do know that I enjoy cannabis on a regular basis. However, they do not know about the psychedelics, stimulants and opiates etc. This side of me I only share with the closest of friends, which seem to be very limited in numbers these days.

I know I am being vague about my job and education, but I don't want to give up too much info here, just enough for you to get the general idea of who I am...

I am a great ganja grower, having grown organic soil grows, and numerous hydroponic grows using some clever homemade setups. I love music, and I also play guitar, which I have been doing for the past 10 years, and I think that I am quite good. I mostly play metal, but I listen to anything that sounds good, but good in my world is damn fucking unbelievably good, as I am pretty critical when it comes to music, considering how easy it has become to produce music, and how much shit ends up out there in the real world(I guess the main problem is not crappy musicians, but the generally dispicable taste that a large number of Earth's population seems to have).

Other than that, I love traveling and seeing the world, meeting new people and seeing new places. I have lived abroad most of my life, mainly in Africa. I also love journeying inwards, especially with the aid of psychedelics and ganja, but also in general, on an everyday basis. I might overanalyse myself and my surroundings often, but I love solving the great mysteries of life. I am also awed by the unsolvable mysteries of life, and I am quite keen on letting myself go with the flow while the universe unfolds itself in all its spleandor.

Currently I am a daily user of heroin, and occasionally smoke a spliff. I have been in and out of heroin use for the past 2 years, and prior to that I drank a lot of opium tea for a number of years. I have been through really bad withdrawals a number of times, and have a plan to stop using heroin sometime soon - right now I am slowly cutting down, to make the landing as pleasant as possible, although it is always hell no matter what. The reason why I am not just stopping now is that I am at the brink of getting a university degree, and I dont want to compromise it by spending a few weeks in a horrible condition. I have stopped numerous times before, and I really do think the grass is greener on the other side, but heroin is really a devil to master. Not that I don't enjoy using heroin, but everything becomes so neutral after prolonged use and my emotions and sex drive are close to zero. So I sort of swing between being a sex driven crazy monkey, to being a self-indulged junkie. But I do manage to keep up appearances, and eat and live healthy, so no one can tell that I snort up to a gram of brown Afghan a day in periods of heavy use. However, I do know that it takes it's toll in the long run, and I definately do not plan on using smack for many years to come. Better get out before it's too late. So you are all thinking, I've heard that before, but if you knew me, you would also know that I have a love for life, that nothing can get in the way of, and I posess a will power that most junkies don't come close to having, so it is possible for me to stop when I feel the time is right. And you might have heard that before... but please have faith.

Anyways, that was a little about me, and it feels good to be open about my drug use to strangers. That is why I joined this forum, to be able to tell like minded people things that I cannot tell my family and the majority of my 'friends' and collegues for the time being.

Here's a list of the drugs that I have tried(some many times, others once) with a dosage scale(1=mild doses, 2=medium dose, 3=high dose):
MDMA - 3
MDA - 1
Cocaine - 2
2C-B - 2
Shrooms(numerous species) - 3
Methamphetamine - 2
Amphetamine - 2
Khat(Miraa) - 3
Salvia divinorum - 3
Heroin - 3
Opium(raw and tea) - 3
Morphine - 3
Codeine - 3
Methadone - 2
Cannabis - 3
LSA - 3
LSD - 3
Kratom - 3
GHB - 3
Alcohol - 3
Nicotine - 3
Methylone - 2
Nitrous - 1
Alkyl nitrites - 1(or 3, if you count the time where I filled a bong with the stuff, and took a deep fucking hit of skunk through it)
DXM - 2
Ketamine - 1
+ some random barbituates which I don't remember the name of...

I think that about does it, will post again if I think of more...

All the best to all of you, and take care, be responsible and love yourself for who you are and all the crazy decisions you make in life!
 
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¡Muchas gracias!

Thanks ppl for the warm welcome!

C.H - I read your little story about the .45, drugs and god encounter, and I can understand why you mention MDA as your favourite :) My best encounter with it was when I took 100mg MDA orally combo'd with 125mg crystalline MDMA - made the X xperience much more colourful. And even though it isn't exactly a typical psychedelic drug as such, I can definately follow you. It does have a lot of qualities to it that produce a psychedelic like state of body and mind, especially in terms of the visuals. And I don't even want to imagine the sensation from IV'ing, just thinking about it makes me want to hug and kiss people.
 
it's nice to hear that a fellow college student is contemplating the negatives and positives of quitting..

welcome!

Thanks! I think there are a lot of people out there wearing the exact same shoes as us, so to speak. Sometimes I also wonder if there are fellow junkies in my presence at work, school, etc... Because unless you are the stereotypical junkie with gray skin, saggy eyes, who would pimp out his own mother for a fix, then you can never really tell. I wish it weren't sooooo fucking taboo to do smack, well drugs in general, but it would be so much healthier for everyone if we could be open about our drug consumption in any setting imaginable. It sucks that we have to keep it on the downlow, especially with heroin, because it is such a bummer to have to keep to yourself how you are really feeling. Drug users are terrorized by todays laws and naive prejudice, and anyone who has ever felt terrorized, knows it is not healthy for the psyche at all! Imagine all those smokers, tokers, junkies and psychonauts out there, who could avoid a psychosis and numerous other problems that come from the oppression that we are the innocent victims of, if it were just OK to be on drugs and talk about it to everyone! Plus the tax benefits, the health benefits etc... fuck drug enforcement agencies the world over - they are fucking terrorists!
 
Welcome to the forum. You'll find all the info you need here.
 
Thanks ppl for the warm welcome!

C.H - I read your little story about the .45, drugs and god encounter, and I can understand why you mention MDA as your favourite :) My best encounter with it was when I took 100mg MDA orally combo'd with 125mg crystalline MDMA - made the X xperience much more colourful. And even though it isn't exactly a typical psychedelic drug as such, I can definately follow you. It does have a lot of qualities to it that produce a psychedelic like state of body and mind, especially in terms of the visuals. And I don't even want to imagine the sensation from IV'ing, just thinking about it makes me want to hug and kiss people.

Thanks for reading my story, I hope you enjoyed it!
 
Re-inventing the about me thread

Instead of me updating this thread, I have started my blog up, and will keep the relevant stuff about me posted there:
Click to follow Bwanajzj Drogaz Blogaz

So as for what is written below in this post, will stay for the time being, but blogging it is in the future....

------

I am going to keep this thread updated with relevant posts from other threads. I'll try be as coherent as possible. Please have patience, it will take some time for me to get all the right posts in the right order.

Obviously, we all change very minute of the day, so as I go through changes, I would also like what is happening now to be true to my online persona as well, instead of outdated posts bringing about the wrong image.

One love! <3

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Any way to reverse the viewing style of one thread only, for all viewers? I know I can choose to read from last to first or first to last, or some smart threading mechanism (which becomes too much of a mess due to lack of collective subjects and topics... everybody always going off on some rant). Just like now. I will get better at writing experience reports, I promise. Even from all my travels. I could write books, short stories, anything.... the stuff I've sseen and done, millions of pages, and small words... and you'd wanna read til the end. I got a few bitchsaps on bluelight last weak. Read the guidelines folk. My advice for the day..... now CRASH.... 2 hours of sleep, then up and have a cup of coffee with Clonazepam. I was considering disolving a 2 mg tablet in the morning coffee, but it's worked fine so far just swallowing it, so will go with that. Unless there are alternatives, with better absorption rates (e.g. sublingual - no intranasal, rectal, or venous for me).
 
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