Oldman Liver
Bluelighter
I thought a few of you guys might be interested to read about a very potent psilocybin containing Panaeolus cyanescens mushroom aka Pan cyan "Blue meanie" and another different not so potent pan from the same location and how they affected me on three different occasions last year. Its yet another case of that old chestnut, rollin around all over the place all over the psychdelics section of the forum, you know the one where people like to take a position on whether or not 1x-LSD analog is actually different from 1y-LSD or whether this species of mushroom or "strain" is actually different in effects than the others or is it just set and seting making things different. I can't speak to LSD analog differences, I've only ever had the real thing, or as far as I know anyway, but after now having had cyanescens three times in th last two years, and having a background of a number of cubensis experiences, I feel with Pans there is a stronger experience regarding contact and interaction with interdimensional entities that I never had with commercially cultivated cubensis trips I took as a young man in California back in the 80's.
Though of course there are many factors that definitely I think contribute, setting factors, such as being on a different continent, being a different age, being tuned in to different things now than I was then, there is also something about the kinetics of the Pan cyans/cambo/tropicalises/other species that feels very different. Obviously too, different species of mushrooms contain different amounts of compounds in addition to the major ones like psilocin and psilocybin which likely will be affecting the effects and of course even the same species grown in different situations are going to no doubt have different potentiating alkaloids and other things that alter the action of the pricipal psychoactive compounds, its probably not even debateable at this point in our knowledge I suppose that at least some species of mushrooms are very different in their effects from other species. For example, I have read many times about the unique effcts of Panaeolus subalteatus being more akin in psychoactive qualitie to say an empathogen like MDMA or how Psilocybe azurecens and cyanecens (I think) and other wood chip loving cold weather Pans can contribute some amount of physical paralysis. I don't doubt that as time goes by, each species and strains and even different terroirs within species will become famous for certain effects and qualities.
I now live in Southeast Asia where i have been for the last 27 years and now and again you'll see Panaeolus species of several types growing in random dungy patches of dirt without even looking around for them. They don't crop up that often, its often too hot or too rainy, but in June or November more commonly the weather is often good enough for them at that time. In the rural area around my house I have never seen any cubensis, but Pans are what grow around here and there are several different species, with clearly different morphologies and likely different species that don't look different from each other but which are in fact different species, such as cambodgensis, cynascens and tropicalis and then there are others, unlike those three species, some of which are only mildly active, rather darker brown to yellowish and then there is another species that has a reddish brown stem but stains dark and is mildly active. Then, less frequently, you'll find the classic blue staining and lighter colored cynascens/camodigensis (macroscopically indistiguishable apparently, microscopy of the spores has to be done to tell the two apart) and these are the ones you want and as I mentioned you don't even have to hunt for them, you'll just see them wherever. In fact, I never find them if I go out looking for them, they have to present themselves to me it seems, if there is to be an interaction.
Over two years ago we had a good season of the weaker ones and only a very few of the very potent proper blue meanies turned up under straw mulching in this black bean patch we'd given a good manuring to. I left them alone hoping they'd sporulate the area better than they seem to have and the weaker ones were coming up nearby in a more foresty uncultivated area, coming up out of the mud which was weird, I thought there must have been some manure mixed in with the dirt or something. the mud was quiet dry and nearly as hard as cement and these Pans had pushed up through it. I collected and dried them and a few eeks later tried a small dose a few times to test and there was no effect every time.
Then one night I had been drinking a good amount while doing some art project, just mindlessly drinking beers as you do when doing something you enjoy like performing brain surgery on the wife or your lawyer. Then I got the impulse to try more of the dried mushrooms to add more fun to the mix. Same result from scarcely a gram dry weight, no effect. But the booze this time got me over my respect/fear of the blue meany (the mushroom not my wife) and that and the frustration of not getting off once again from proper blue/black staining pans, albeit not cyanescens or cambodgensis, but the browner red stemmed species and I roared and snarled as I chomped like Theseus or Gilgamesh into probably a quarter ounce dry weight Panaeolus sp. brown blue-black staining tiny little shrooms, suddenly I found I had probably eaten a hundred of them. Waht the fuck have i done! If they were proper blue meanies I'd have never come back. Consumed by a hallucinated, distorted and ultimately mistaken impression of my own bad haircut on a bad hair day Tuesday, never to return.
But my wanton drunk tiger like snarl then chomp, into that grassy tasting hank of dried Pan, well, that seemed to have done the trick. After twenty minutes I started getting the classic signals I used to always get from choking down those tub grown cubes you bought from Kevin or someone, a kind of odd tension in the jaw that almost seems conflated with a characteristic hallucinated taste in the mouth. So after the hero's chomp into that horrendous bouquet, in the middle of the lonely 80 percent chopped down and burned woods where my house sits (I didn't do that, the neighbors did) I went in to the bathroom at one point to brush my teeth and found my teeth had been blackened and blued by carnage of the gills and saliva. God, I may well soon be not on Mars but become Mars itself, a livid planetoid of blood, my volcanoes of drive in horror movie disconnection between eye and windshield and distant screen and this bathroom mirror befopre which i stand thinking about this between car door window afixed speaker and ear long since frozen over like aphasic deluges of parenthtical labyrinths the president gets stuck on when debating the orange and and can say nothing but shlipple schlipple nevermind goddamn it.
I kept on with my project and several hours later it seemed that was all that i was going to get from these mushrooms some almost unnoticable jaw tension, so to quote Porky Pig "thats all folks." End of the trip. Please wait for brain and jaw to grow back before inserting coins and doing another one. Just skull shatteringly revelatory. So i started to nod off and then decided to hang everything up, kind of a boring evening in all respects so as I went to hit the last switch I noticed that someone, OR SOMETHING! had scribbled something all over the face of the large 2x3 inch light switch and onto the face of the plastic lightswitch box, immediately surrounding the switch. It was done in purple crayon and florescent yellow-green highlighter ink. But when I got closer to the switch I saw that while there was a quality of a scribble to the markings, they actually formed a very elaborate but clearly crudely handwritten sigil or glyph. I was really kin dof shocked, there were no kids around recently and someone is always home around here, so there was no way some weird psychdelic mushroom eating 3rd grader could have snuck in and done this. I thought, well guy, maybe you are high after all. Yet I felt no effect, even the subtle jaw tension/electroflavor conflation thingy had disappeared. I must have stood there for 5 minutes gawping at this thing which looked clearly like a very real act of vandalism or maybe a very real attempt by someone or something that was unreal to communicate perhaps some kind of garden gnome on the lose having busted out of home depot 1 hundred miles down the road or something. I should have been creeped out, but I wasn't. I felt more exasperated that this was all i was going to get out of these mushrooms, some kind of lame haunting from a crayon scribbling or something. Whats next? Haunted by a weird homework assignment abandonded 100 years ago and which happened to blow in the door as I w as attempting to trip? So, finally I pointed my finger at the glyph and said out loud, "You aren't actually there! I'll bet you! Tomorrow when I wake up, you'll be gone! And it will be the first time I have ever taken mushrooms and had precisely one measly hallucination and one that did not move around and change its squiggling colors or start becoming sentient and blinking its eyes at me to boot! So take that! Boo!" The next morning when I got up, actually, there was nothing there, so not only did the hallucination just sit there and not move around all the time and change into other things 10 times a second, it obeyed me and did as i predicted and disappeared.
Later about nine months in the future, we had many days of heavy dew and even light showers in the morning and mild 80 degree highs and this perhaps 20x60 meter mixed garden and semi cleared forest area exploded for two months with many quite large proper hallucinogenic Panaeolus cynaescens/cambodgensis. It was borderline 1960's japanese science fiction or something, and i collected and dried a good amount but I've only gotten around to taking them three times and perhaps one of those times i met the entity that scrawled the glyph on the light switch when having a long silent telepathic conversation with a kind of Russian doll within a doll within a doll type entity, kind of very cheery fairy queen of the garden and caretaker of the mushrooms as she explained. I was moved to tears when she said "We have been here for hundreds of thousands of years in what is now your garden! And none of these people around here have ever paid us the slightest attention in all of those years! We would like to honor you! How did you know to eat us, so that we could talk to you?! I for one am so impressed! And do you see him?," And she pointed just to the right of me where a rather trollish looking man was glaring at the both of us, "Well, he doesn't like you! And you know all of that joint pain in your hands and knees you've been having, hes the one thats done that!" And she laughed at him, "He's ridiculous! he's mad at everyone and everything! And he does things like that to us and other people around here. But never mind I'll take care of him as an expression of my pleasure at finally connecting with a human. Well, we have to be going now! Come see us anytime and especially if you have anymore trouble with him making you sick or injured!" And she opened up like a Russian doll and all the smaller nested versions of herself climbed inside of each other and when they were all back in their positions she closed herself shut and disappeared into herself. And the next day when i woke up in the morning, my joint pain had completely disappeared and it stayed that way for several weeks.
I've probably had 20 cubensis experiences in my life to compare to these recent Panaeolus ones, most of them quite high dose to even a few heroic doses, also one which was a heroic/pleasant overdose liberty caps session, unintentionally high dose, but with none of these 20 odd trips did I have such concrete experiences with entities, very clear apperances and conversations and effects like healings or what looked like actual non-halluicnated scribbled markings but which indeed were. i was blown away to have a trip that consisted of one single isolated element and nothing else. No head space, no other visuals or auditory effects or anything. I suppose I'd better soon eat some more from the several months of thousands of Pan cyans that fruited in the garden every week several years ago, they are going to be out of gas in terms of their psychoactivity before very long.
Though of course there are many factors that definitely I think contribute, setting factors, such as being on a different continent, being a different age, being tuned in to different things now than I was then, there is also something about the kinetics of the Pan cyans/cambo/tropicalises/other species that feels very different. Obviously too, different species of mushrooms contain different amounts of compounds in addition to the major ones like psilocin and psilocybin which likely will be affecting the effects and of course even the same species grown in different situations are going to no doubt have different potentiating alkaloids and other things that alter the action of the pricipal psychoactive compounds, its probably not even debateable at this point in our knowledge I suppose that at least some species of mushrooms are very different in their effects from other species. For example, I have read many times about the unique effcts of Panaeolus subalteatus being more akin in psychoactive qualitie to say an empathogen like MDMA or how Psilocybe azurecens and cyanecens (I think) and other wood chip loving cold weather Pans can contribute some amount of physical paralysis. I don't doubt that as time goes by, each species and strains and even different terroirs within species will become famous for certain effects and qualities.
I now live in Southeast Asia where i have been for the last 27 years and now and again you'll see Panaeolus species of several types growing in random dungy patches of dirt without even looking around for them. They don't crop up that often, its often too hot or too rainy, but in June or November more commonly the weather is often good enough for them at that time. In the rural area around my house I have never seen any cubensis, but Pans are what grow around here and there are several different species, with clearly different morphologies and likely different species that don't look different from each other but which are in fact different species, such as cambodgensis, cynascens and tropicalis and then there are others, unlike those three species, some of which are only mildly active, rather darker brown to yellowish and then there is another species that has a reddish brown stem but stains dark and is mildly active. Then, less frequently, you'll find the classic blue staining and lighter colored cynascens/camodigensis (macroscopically indistiguishable apparently, microscopy of the spores has to be done to tell the two apart) and these are the ones you want and as I mentioned you don't even have to hunt for them, you'll just see them wherever. In fact, I never find them if I go out looking for them, they have to present themselves to me it seems, if there is to be an interaction.
Over two years ago we had a good season of the weaker ones and only a very few of the very potent proper blue meanies turned up under straw mulching in this black bean patch we'd given a good manuring to. I left them alone hoping they'd sporulate the area better than they seem to have and the weaker ones were coming up nearby in a more foresty uncultivated area, coming up out of the mud which was weird, I thought there must have been some manure mixed in with the dirt or something. the mud was quiet dry and nearly as hard as cement and these Pans had pushed up through it. I collected and dried them and a few eeks later tried a small dose a few times to test and there was no effect every time.
Then one night I had been drinking a good amount while doing some art project, just mindlessly drinking beers as you do when doing something you enjoy like performing brain surgery on the wife or your lawyer. Then I got the impulse to try more of the dried mushrooms to add more fun to the mix. Same result from scarcely a gram dry weight, no effect. But the booze this time got me over my respect/fear of the blue meany (the mushroom not my wife) and that and the frustration of not getting off once again from proper blue/black staining pans, albeit not cyanescens or cambodgensis, but the browner red stemmed species and I roared and snarled as I chomped like Theseus or Gilgamesh into probably a quarter ounce dry weight Panaeolus sp. brown blue-black staining tiny little shrooms, suddenly I found I had probably eaten a hundred of them. Waht the fuck have i done! If they were proper blue meanies I'd have never come back. Consumed by a hallucinated, distorted and ultimately mistaken impression of my own bad haircut on a bad hair day Tuesday, never to return.
But my wanton drunk tiger like snarl then chomp, into that grassy tasting hank of dried Pan, well, that seemed to have done the trick. After twenty minutes I started getting the classic signals I used to always get from choking down those tub grown cubes you bought from Kevin or someone, a kind of odd tension in the jaw that almost seems conflated with a characteristic hallucinated taste in the mouth. So after the hero's chomp into that horrendous bouquet, in the middle of the lonely 80 percent chopped down and burned woods where my house sits (I didn't do that, the neighbors did) I went in to the bathroom at one point to brush my teeth and found my teeth had been blackened and blued by carnage of the gills and saliva. God, I may well soon be not on Mars but become Mars itself, a livid planetoid of blood, my volcanoes of drive in horror movie disconnection between eye and windshield and distant screen and this bathroom mirror befopre which i stand thinking about this between car door window afixed speaker and ear long since frozen over like aphasic deluges of parenthtical labyrinths the president gets stuck on when debating the orange and and can say nothing but shlipple schlipple nevermind goddamn it.
I kept on with my project and several hours later it seemed that was all that i was going to get from these mushrooms some almost unnoticable jaw tension, so to quote Porky Pig "thats all folks." End of the trip. Please wait for brain and jaw to grow back before inserting coins and doing another one. Just skull shatteringly revelatory. So i started to nod off and then decided to hang everything up, kind of a boring evening in all respects so as I went to hit the last switch I noticed that someone, OR SOMETHING! had scribbled something all over the face of the large 2x3 inch light switch and onto the face of the plastic lightswitch box, immediately surrounding the switch. It was done in purple crayon and florescent yellow-green highlighter ink. But when I got closer to the switch I saw that while there was a quality of a scribble to the markings, they actually formed a very elaborate but clearly crudely handwritten sigil or glyph. I was really kin dof shocked, there were no kids around recently and someone is always home around here, so there was no way some weird psychdelic mushroom eating 3rd grader could have snuck in and done this. I thought, well guy, maybe you are high after all. Yet I felt no effect, even the subtle jaw tension/electroflavor conflation thingy had disappeared. I must have stood there for 5 minutes gawping at this thing which looked clearly like a very real act of vandalism or maybe a very real attempt by someone or something that was unreal to communicate perhaps some kind of garden gnome on the lose having busted out of home depot 1 hundred miles down the road or something. I should have been creeped out, but I wasn't. I felt more exasperated that this was all i was going to get out of these mushrooms, some kind of lame haunting from a crayon scribbling or something. Whats next? Haunted by a weird homework assignment abandonded 100 years ago and which happened to blow in the door as I w as attempting to trip? So, finally I pointed my finger at the glyph and said out loud, "You aren't actually there! I'll bet you! Tomorrow when I wake up, you'll be gone! And it will be the first time I have ever taken mushrooms and had precisely one measly hallucination and one that did not move around and change its squiggling colors or start becoming sentient and blinking its eyes at me to boot! So take that! Boo!" The next morning when I got up, actually, there was nothing there, so not only did the hallucination just sit there and not move around all the time and change into other things 10 times a second, it obeyed me and did as i predicted and disappeared.
Later about nine months in the future, we had many days of heavy dew and even light showers in the morning and mild 80 degree highs and this perhaps 20x60 meter mixed garden and semi cleared forest area exploded for two months with many quite large proper hallucinogenic Panaeolus cynaescens/cambodgensis. It was borderline 1960's japanese science fiction or something, and i collected and dried a good amount but I've only gotten around to taking them three times and perhaps one of those times i met the entity that scrawled the glyph on the light switch when having a long silent telepathic conversation with a kind of Russian doll within a doll within a doll type entity, kind of very cheery fairy queen of the garden and caretaker of the mushrooms as she explained. I was moved to tears when she said "We have been here for hundreds of thousands of years in what is now your garden! And none of these people around here have ever paid us the slightest attention in all of those years! We would like to honor you! How did you know to eat us, so that we could talk to you?! I for one am so impressed! And do you see him?," And she pointed just to the right of me where a rather trollish looking man was glaring at the both of us, "Well, he doesn't like you! And you know all of that joint pain in your hands and knees you've been having, hes the one thats done that!" And she laughed at him, "He's ridiculous! he's mad at everyone and everything! And he does things like that to us and other people around here. But never mind I'll take care of him as an expression of my pleasure at finally connecting with a human. Well, we have to be going now! Come see us anytime and especially if you have anymore trouble with him making you sick or injured!" And she opened up like a Russian doll and all the smaller nested versions of herself climbed inside of each other and when they were all back in their positions she closed herself shut and disappeared into herself. And the next day when i woke up in the morning, my joint pain had completely disappeared and it stayed that way for several weeks.
I've probably had 20 cubensis experiences in my life to compare to these recent Panaeolus ones, most of them quite high dose to even a few heroic doses, also one which was a heroic/pleasant overdose liberty caps session, unintentionally high dose, but with none of these 20 odd trips did I have such concrete experiences with entities, very clear apperances and conversations and effects like healings or what looked like actual non-halluicnated scribbled markings but which indeed were. i was blown away to have a trip that consisted of one single isolated element and nothing else. No head space, no other visuals or auditory effects or anything. I suppose I'd better soon eat some more from the several months of thousands of Pan cyans that fruited in the garden every week several years ago, they are going to be out of gas in terms of their psychoactivity before very long.
