toast.
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2007
- Messages
- 49
What is up my beautiful Bluelight family! I have been away for quite some time dealing with my inner demons and learning to find myself and be happy. I think I am much closer to doing that now than I was when I was 17. Anyway its very nice to be back. What brought me back specificily was this outdated thread on using 3-meo-pcp to manage depression as well as other entheogens.
This is the thread I was refering to: http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/713156-Medicinal-3-MeO-PCP-daily-low-dose-use
I know this thread is old which I did not revive it. But this is something I would definitely like to discuss with anyone interested moving forward. I sent the message to the person who started the thread in an attempt to reach out, but I would also like to share that message with all of you. Because honestly I am reaching out to anyone hear who is willing to listen. I just made it through the hardest year of my life, Ive lived with the monkey on my back known as depression for as long as I can remember and at the end of last year I tried to kill myself unsuccessfully. I am so unbelievably happy that I didn't succeed, and now my life is by far the best it has ever been. Thanks to a combination of the careful and educated use of enthoegens, going to therapy with a therapist that i genuinely love and trust and who I truly believe loves and trusts me back as well as the love and support from my family and the close friends who I believe I can trust. Life is beautiful, consciousness is exceptional, and love is by far the best thing consciousness has ever birthed. Love is what will see us all through the hard times and evil. As I believe evil is just are animal nature, its the thing consciousness relied on to survive and keep going until it got to the point where it no longer needed to rely on that base animal nature to keep moving forward. It evolved, and love came as the result. Ive come to love the monkey on my back known as depression. I think depression is the ultimate dragon, the trial some of us just have to go through to take part on the hero's journey or whatever you want to call it. Ive come to accept that monkey on my back, i helped it off my back and tried talking to it, i tried showing it love and I gave it a hug, and to my surprise it hugged me back. I don't think I would have been able to do it myself and I shutter to think what may have become of me If i did not find this community and this approach to life when I did. I love all of you so very very much and I wish you all the best on your own journeys. Perhaps we can journey together.
Anyway this is my reintroduction to the community. Here is the message I sent to the person who started the thread I referenced above. It was meant for that person, but I also intend it to anyone who may feel like they can also relate to that person, because I have a big feeling we will relate to each other as well. Again so much love to all of you. This forum played a gigantic part in saving my life, and that is not even a slight exaggeration. Here's my message to Marauder as well as to anyone else willing to listen. Please forgive me if my words are clumsy, I'm still learning how to get everything out from my heart and out of my mouth properly and it takes practice!
My message:
Your post struck me like lightening man. I'm a very similar person with very similar problems to what you've described and I feel like I've finally gotten a grip
on my depression through the use of psychedelics and dissociatives as well as going to therapy regularly and having a great support system of friends and family.
I really hope you've found the help and support you need, either way I would love to be friends with you and have some conversations for sure. I can tell you the one thing
that has helped me the most through all of my depression and mental turmoil was love. Real love and compassion, a support system of friends and family that genuinely care about your well being,
obviously things like meditation and taking trips to the psychedelic well to have a sip every now and then are also essential, I think biologically its something our brains just need at times like food or love.
But honestly man I think its a gift. We feel things deeply, to the point where it can really hurt a lot, but we can use that pain to reach out to other people and show them its ok to hurt too, and to try and
bring everyone to the light. That light ultimately I believe is love itself in a sense. I don't know you personally but I love the shit out of you and fuck do I hope you're doing ok. I really hope this message finds you,
I would really love to talk about getting well and dealing with depression, and I think our conversations could bring a lot of life to both of our lives. Love you pal, whoever you are. Hope to hear from you soon, if not
stay safe, always be careful and think through what you're doing first, and never give up.
This is the thread I was refering to: http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/713156-Medicinal-3-MeO-PCP-daily-low-dose-use
I know this thread is old which I did not revive it. But this is something I would definitely like to discuss with anyone interested moving forward. I sent the message to the person who started the thread in an attempt to reach out, but I would also like to share that message with all of you. Because honestly I am reaching out to anyone hear who is willing to listen. I just made it through the hardest year of my life, Ive lived with the monkey on my back known as depression for as long as I can remember and at the end of last year I tried to kill myself unsuccessfully. I am so unbelievably happy that I didn't succeed, and now my life is by far the best it has ever been. Thanks to a combination of the careful and educated use of enthoegens, going to therapy with a therapist that i genuinely love and trust and who I truly believe loves and trusts me back as well as the love and support from my family and the close friends who I believe I can trust. Life is beautiful, consciousness is exceptional, and love is by far the best thing consciousness has ever birthed. Love is what will see us all through the hard times and evil. As I believe evil is just are animal nature, its the thing consciousness relied on to survive and keep going until it got to the point where it no longer needed to rely on that base animal nature to keep moving forward. It evolved, and love came as the result. Ive come to love the monkey on my back known as depression. I think depression is the ultimate dragon, the trial some of us just have to go through to take part on the hero's journey or whatever you want to call it. Ive come to accept that monkey on my back, i helped it off my back and tried talking to it, i tried showing it love and I gave it a hug, and to my surprise it hugged me back. I don't think I would have been able to do it myself and I shutter to think what may have become of me If i did not find this community and this approach to life when I did. I love all of you so very very much and I wish you all the best on your own journeys. Perhaps we can journey together.
Anyway this is my reintroduction to the community. Here is the message I sent to the person who started the thread I referenced above. It was meant for that person, but I also intend it to anyone who may feel like they can also relate to that person, because I have a big feeling we will relate to each other as well. Again so much love to all of you. This forum played a gigantic part in saving my life, and that is not even a slight exaggeration. Here's my message to Marauder as well as to anyone else willing to listen. Please forgive me if my words are clumsy, I'm still learning how to get everything out from my heart and out of my mouth properly and it takes practice! My message:
Hey bud, my name is Toast, Jake or Jacob, whatever you want to call me. I saw your post about micro-dosing 3-meo-pcp. I know the thread was from way back so I really hope you're doing well and staying safe.Your post struck me like lightening man. I'm a very similar person with very similar problems to what you've described and I feel like I've finally gotten a grip
on my depression through the use of psychedelics and dissociatives as well as going to therapy regularly and having a great support system of friends and family.
I really hope you've found the help and support you need, either way I would love to be friends with you and have some conversations for sure. I can tell you the one thing
that has helped me the most through all of my depression and mental turmoil was love. Real love and compassion, a support system of friends and family that genuinely care about your well being,
obviously things like meditation and taking trips to the psychedelic well to have a sip every now and then are also essential, I think biologically its something our brains just need at times like food or love.
But honestly man I think its a gift. We feel things deeply, to the point where it can really hurt a lot, but we can use that pain to reach out to other people and show them its ok to hurt too, and to try and
bring everyone to the light. That light ultimately I believe is love itself in a sense. I don't know you personally but I love the shit out of you and fuck do I hope you're doing ok. I really hope this message finds you,
I would really love to talk about getting well and dealing with depression, and I think our conversations could bring a lot of life to both of our lives. Love you pal, whoever you are. Hope to hear from you soon, if not
stay safe, always be careful and think through what you're doing first, and never give up.
