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A poem by Charles Bukowski

Tanuki_23

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I just got home at 5 AM drunk, had to take a shit, so I went to the restroom and pulled out a book of poetry and short prose by Bukowski (BTW, these are the best for bathroom reading), and I thought this one in particular was, I don't know, moving, so I decided to share. The subject isn't of any significance, just thought it was . . . worthy.


"hell is a lonley place"

he was 65, his wife 66, had
Alzheimer's disease.

he had cancer of the
mouth.
there were
operations, radiation
treatments
which decayed the bones in his
jaw
which then had to be
wired.

daily he put his wife in
rubber diapers
like a
baby.

unable to drive in his
condition
he had to take a taxi to
the medical
center,
had difficulty speaking,
had to
write the direcitons
down.

on his last visit
they informed him
there would be another
operation: a bit more
left
cheek and a bit more
toungue.

when he returned
he changed his wife's
diapers
put on the tv
dinners, watched the
evening news
then went to the
bedroom, got the
gun, put it to her
temple, fired.

she fell to the
left, he sat upon the
couch
put the gun to his
mouth, pulled the
trigger

the shot didn't arouse
the neightbors.

later
the burning tv dinners
did.

somebody arrived, pushed
the door open, saw
it.

soon
the police arrived and
went through their
routine, found
some items:

a closed savings
account and
a checkbook with a
balance of
$1.14

suicide, they
decided

in three weeks
there were two
new tenants:
a computer engineer
named
Ross
and his wife
Antana
who studied
ballet.

they looked like another
upwoardly mobile
pair.








I don't know Im drunk, but I really love this piece.
 
I fuckin LOVE bukowski. love love love. I love him!!!! =D
Here are a few of my favorite poems by him now:


BIG NIGHT ON THE TOWN
drunk on the dark streets of some city,
it's night, you're lost, where's your
room?
you enter a bar to find yourself,
order scotch and water.
damned bar's sloppy wet, it soaks
part of one of your shirt
sleeves.
It's a clip joint-the scotch is weak.
you order a bottle of beer.
Madame Death walks up to you
wearing a dress.
she sits down, you buy her a
beer, she stinks of swamps, presses
a leg against you.
the bar tender sneers.
you've got him worried, he doesn't
know if you're a cop, a killer, a
madman or an
Idiot.
you ask for a vodka.
you pour the vodka into the top of
the beer bottle.
It's one a.m. In a dead cow world.
you ask her how much for head,
drink everything down, it tastes
like machine oil.

you leave Madame Death there,
you leave the sneering bartender
there.

you have remembered where
your room is.
the room with the full bottle of
wine on the dresser.
the room with the dance of the
roaches.
Perfection in the Star Turd
where love died
laughing.


and

THREE ORANGES

first time my father overheard me listening to
this bit of music he asked me,
"what is it?"
"it's called Love For Three Oranges,"
I informed him.
"boy," he said, "that's getting it
cheap."
he meant sex.
listening to it
I always imagined three oranges
sitting there,
you know how orange they can
get,
so mightily orange.
maybe Prokofiev had meant
what my father
thought.
if so, I preferred it the
other way
the most horrible thing
I could think of
was part of me being
what ejaculated out of the
end of his
stupid penis.
I will never forgive him
for that,
his trick that I am stuck
with,
I find no nobility in
parenthood.
I say kill the Father
before he makes more
such as I.


that absolutely breaks my heart each time i read it
 
somebody told me i'm like a female version of him (in writing at least) so it was interesting to finally be able to read some of his stuff
 
Psychedelics_r_best said:
Mr. Charles Bukowski doesnt sound like a very happy person. Have any one you ever read The Raven by E.A.P


Well think about it...who is ALWAYS ever happy anyway? And im NOT even going to go there...thats such a preposterous question lol. This is an excellent article on him : I<3 u HANK!!!


From the Orange County Register

on a san pedro, calif. hillside opposite the pacific, dirt covers the man whose once-expressive appetite for life continues to sustain his cult hero status beyond this grave where movie stars and drinkers laid him three years
ago this month.

the simple headstone of henry charles bukowski, 1920-1994, tells those who visit him: "don't try."

good advice rarely followed, that ambiguous message from his grave is a
challenge outlasting the man whose life and art compels thousands to try, try, try to understand, analyze and even emulate the illegitimate father of poetic intemperance.

in more than 60 books of poetry, short stories, novels and a screenplay ("barfly") about a brief but remarkable period of his life, charles, "hank", bukowski wrote from the twisted guts of his own incredible life, fashioning those experiences into provocative shapes for our amusement.

Since his death, bukowski has become something of a worldwide industry, with copies of his work multiplying in value, new fans finding him on dozens of bukowski-related internet sites and old ones sporting team bukowski sweatshirts. his publishers plan at least one book of unpublished work a year for the next five years.

bukowski gave the finger to poetry as effete intellectualism and replaced adorned sentiment with naked, disturbing,
compelling, repulsive,
vicious truth.

he was a drunk and a genius, and he beat life to hell and lived longer than most expected and better than most knew. These years after his death, the legend grows, sustained by a body of work so deep that books of poetry are planned through 2001.

he was a southern california god, but even before this country acknowledged him, europeans were already treating bukowski with the pop iconoclasm of movie stars. now, his work is translated into at least 21 languages, with his newest fans building a bukowski movement in japan.

an orange county, calif., college professor claims bukowski as an
influence. so does an irish rock star.

to his fans, the mythic man who settled with a view of the grimy harbor of san pedro is an adorable bastard, a voice that rumbled from a blue collar to offend, challenge, stimulate the complacent, and to console the disenfranchised for whom labor was survival.

to linda lee bukowski, he is the man whose passing left a bottomless
hole in her heart.

there are women who dismiss Bukowski as chauvinistic, as misogynistic.

the woman who loved him for many years and was married to him for the
last nine says this:

"To you," linda lee bukowski says, "he is the great writer.
but to me, first, he is the great man.

"i cry every day and night. it's horrible, horrible, horrible. right down in the human gut level, it's terrible. i miss him like, boy, half of me
is gone."

there is little middle ground with charles bukowski.

critics dismissed his writing as abusive and indulgent, about which he wrote to a friend:

"we don't write to be judged, we write to get it out of us so we don't
do something worse."

and those who loved him became disciples.

bono of u2 dedicated a los angeles show to hank and linda and sent a
limo to bring them to the concert, along with other devotees, actors harry
dean stanton and sean penn, whom the bukowskis' referred to as their
"surrogate son."

he was gentle to animals, mean to those who crossed him, encouraging to
younger talents and never too far from an immigrant child whose father beat
him with a razor strap.

at 13 bukowski discovered alcohol; he said it saved his life.

to his friend gerald locklin, a writer and professor at california state university, long beach, bukowski (in one of a volume of letters over
two decades) wrote:

"i don't trust men who don't drink. There is something about drinking
which opens a man to extraordinary disaster: you meet all the wrong women and you step out into alleys to duke it with all the wrong men. It's kind of a lesson in stupidity but you learn more in that kind of life than most men
who live 10 lives."

that life, glorified by the mickey rourke-faye dunaway characters of"barfly," is as much a part of the bukowski legacy as are his poems, novels, recordings and even paintings.

but those who focus on his love of drink, his tolerance for abuse, and
his impulse toward denigration of the cognoscenti _ without considering the
effect of these things on his sizable contribution to literature _ miss, sadly, a greater part of charles bukowski.

in one of his several books of poetry, locklin writes a poem to address
the single-minded bukowski reader:


those who would write like bukowski
know that he, as a young man, loved
classical music, wrote every day,
read world literature, supported himself
without parental or government assistance, and drank a lot. but when it comes to modeling themselves on him as writers they tend to forget everything except the drinking.


in his novel "ham on rye" bukowski chronicles a childhood full of severe and capricious punishment by his father.

a central element of the bukowski house in an l.a. neighborhood was his
father's razor strap, which hung above the bathroom sink area where young
charles bukowski would be forced to disrobe and be lashed, often for minor
childish indiscretions.

the stress of his life caused a nervous reaction that resulted in boils
over his body, leaving his skin pockmarked for life. his rough appearance contributed to his aloofness from other kids, which in later years would become a general distaste for people whose allegiance to mainstream existence bukowski saw as a betrayal of the soul.

his legend as a barroom fighter, as a drinker, a womanizer and a proud
maverick who rejected self-restraint was well earned.

but even when he was flopping in dirtbag hotels and working day labor
for liquor, bukowski was no bum.

his life was a notebook in which he documented experiences few could
survive but millions found meaningful.

"people like to ask me, `did that really happen to you?'" he wrote to locklin. "and i used to tell them. now, i don't. i think it's good for them to wonder. ok. then most did and what didn't should have."

although he drew on experiences beginning with the earliest moments of
his life, bukowski, who at times had been a shipping clerk and a postal
employee, was middle-aged before he was ``discovered.''

some of bukowski's earliest published work was for open city and la
weekly in the late '60s, which later became his book, "notes of a dirty
old man."

in the comfortable home where linda lee bukowski's life is a vigil to
her artist husband, the walls, the bookshelves, the picture frames, the
swimming pool, the spa, the photo albums and the numerous sketches from the great man's hand, tell a fuller story than most are privileged to know. he loved cats and would sit for hours enticing a stray.

we know from his work, of course, that horseracing was part of his daily
routine. but who would have known that he enjoyed relaxing, alcohol-free, in the whirlpool upon returning from hollywood park or santa anita?

he is easily pictured, almost boxer-like, pounding the keys of an
underwood manual "typer." but his work tripled, say both linda and his
black sparrow editor, john martin, when he got a computer.

near the end of his life, he meditated: twice a day, 20 minutes at a time.

and for all his reputation as a devotee of cheap liquor and easy women, the older bukowski enjoyed good wine and imported beer, and was loyal to the woman he loved. There are, in the bukowski household, relics to mark his presence everywhere:

"linda will ya be my valentine," says one of many child-like paintings that reveal a side of the man more capable of common feeling than his sandpaper exterior would suggest.

one bukowski painting _ a poem really _ reveals a man we might have
suspected but rarely find exposed this way through his writing:

"arrange for me this splendid insecurity."

"i don't even want to go into that," linda bukowski says. "it means
what it means." bukowski once wrote to his friend locklin that he liked
eating at the glide'er inn in seal beach, where he was a frequent sunday guest
for crab legs.

"those booths," he wrote, "with high walls hide me away from the
humans."

he was the most human, hank bukowksi was.

whatever misrepresentation "barfly" might have left on the legacy
of the "poet laureate of los angeles," one scene perhaps speaks for all
those whose devotion made bukowski a wealthy man, after long years of writing in obscure poverty.

during a scene in the golden horn bar, a crusty patron says to jim the
bartender, regarding the bukowski character:

"i don't see what you see in the guy."

says the bartender: "he's as right as any of us."

and so he was. and so, too, are those who find comfort, acceptance and
escape from lives of incredible normalcy in the writing of bukowski.

"what he taught me is that you can make poetry out of your daily life,"
locklin says. "You don't have to wait for the great moments; it doesn't
have to be love, death, war."

it is a lesson learned by the professor, yes, but also by a contract
painter-turned-poet whose life change was sparked partly by bukowski's
influence. Or by a merchant who recognizes her own life in the drastically different reference of an artist whose work transcended common experience.

raindog, a san pedro housepainter, poet and literary magazine publisher
who used to follow bukowski around but was too reverential ever to introduce himself to the man, says now: "i felt like bukowski was pinning a narrative in the back of my head, like, `ok, i'm not alone. there's someone out there like me."

andrea kuwalski, proprietor of vinegar hill books, where the poet used to visit to hang out with chet, the store cat, now devotes a whole shelf to
bukowski.

"i can't take offense as a woman at any of what he said, because he's
right; things do get goofy," she says. "and i don't think he painted such
a rosy picture of his own gender."

rancho santiago college professor and poet lee mallory, who used to show up at bukowski's door with a 12-pack of beer and an appetite to learn, says bukowski "lived his work, and in the sense that he did, the body of work is totally authentic. you knew he was writing from a base of experience, which is where the best poetry comes from."

to mallory, bukowksi wrote: "on mornings of doom, have a drink or two
and wait. wait on the word. she's more faithful than any woman. it's our final
love ..."

he was, probably, an alcoholic. he was, decidedly, a workaholic.

"he was a brilliant machine," his widow says. no one knows that
better than his editor, john martin at black sparrow press in santa rosa.

"a couple or three times a week," martin says, "(bukowski) would
send me a batch of poems. and he did that for 30 years. he's one of the few
writers who has made substantial money just off royalties."

martin says he has enough bukowski material for four or five more books and next month will publish "bone palace ballet" a 370-page collection of previously unpublished work.

"his work will always be there and always have an avid readership,"
locklin says, "in the same way of henry miller and e.e. cummings and poets
who are read out of a sense of pleasure rather than a sense of duty."

"don't try."

linda lee bukowski laughs at her husband's epitaph, on the grave that she refers to as another room of the house.

"i think it means, if you spend all your time trying, then all you're
doing is trying. so, the thing is to do. don't try. just do."

he tried. he did.

and henry charles bukowski left us richer for the effort.

we read him like watching a daredevil, from the safety of complacent comfort. we revel in his lifestyle. but we dishonor his powerful voice if we leave him and his work at the bottom of a bottle.

"people are always pointing out things about me," bukowski wrote to
gerald locklin. "i'm a drunk or i'm rich or i'm something else. how about the
writing? Does it work or doesn't it?"

(c) March, 1997, The Orange County Register (Santa Ana, Calif.).



Amen.
 
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^That's a real good article. Thanks for putting it up. On the topic of his artwork, have you seen any. ITs suprisingly good. I wonder if they sell prints . . .
 
Blue bird

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I'm not going
to let anybody see
you.

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I pur whiskey on him and inhale
cigarette smoke
and the whores and the bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that
he's
in there.

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess
me up?
you want to screw up the
works?
you want to blow my book sales in
Europe?

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too clever, I only let him out
at night sometimes
when everybody's asleep.
I say, I know that you're there,
so don't be
sad.
then I put him back,
but he's singing a little
in there, I haven't quite let him
die
and we sleep together like
that
with our
secret pact
and it's nice enough to
make a man
weep, but I don't
weep, do
you?
- Charles Bukowski
one of my favorites
 
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my walls of love
it's on nights like this, I get back what I can.
the living is hard, the writing is free.

were that the women were as easy but they were always much the same ; they liked my writing in finished-book form
but there was always something about the actual typing
working toward the new
which bothered them...

I wasn't competing with them
but they got competitive with me
in forms and styles which I didn't consider
either original or creative
although to me
they were certainly
astonishingly enough.

now they are set loose
with themselves and the others
and have new problems in another way.

all those lovelies:
I'm glad I'm with them in spirit
rather than in the flesh

as now I can bang this fucking machine without concern.

Charles Bukowski 2-20-83


God I love him.
 
Much respect for Hank. Some great picks from his work in this thread.

I recommend the Bukowski documentary Born Into This if you haven't seen it. It has a similar theme and perspective to the article above.
 
(Wordy) said:
I recommend the Bukowski documentary Born Into This if you haven't seen it. It has a similar theme and perspective to the article above.

I liked the documentary. I loved hearing him read his poems.
 
Bukowski is undeniably my favorite... although some of his poems lack the ending i want, they are still all so fucking fulfilling.

for marilyn m.


slipping keenly into bright ashes,
target of vanilla tears
your sure body lit candles for men
on dark nights,
and now your night is darker
and we will forget you, somewhat,
and it is not kind
but real bodies are nearer
and as the worms pant for your bones,
i would so like to tell you
that this happens to bears and elephants
and frogs,
still, you brought us something,
some type of small victory,
and let us grieve no more;
like a flower dried and thrown away,
we forget, we remember,
we wait, child, child, child,
i raise my drink a full minute
and smile.
 
they are still all so fucking fulfilling.

sooo true. Bukowski satiates me each time like no other.

Me and Faulkner

sure, I know that you are tired of hearing about it, but
most repeat the same theme over and over again, it's
as if they were trying to refine what seems so strange
and off and important to them, it's done by everybody
because everybody is of a different stripe and form
and each must work out what is before them
over and over again because
that is their personal tiny miracle
their bit of luck

like now as like before and before I have been slowly
drinking this fine red wine and listening to symphony after
symphony from this black radio to my left

some symphonies remind me of certain cities and certain rooms,
make me realize that certain people now long dead were able to
transgress graveyards

and traps and cages and bones and limbs

people who broke through with joy and madness and with
insurmountable force

in tiny rented rooms I was struck by miracles

and even now after decades of listening I still am able to hear
a new work never heard before that is totally
bright, a fresh-blazing sun

there are countless sub-stratas of rising surprise from the
human firmament

music has an expansive and endless flow of ungodly
exploration

writers are confined to the limit of sight and feeling upon the
page while musicians leap into unrestricted immensity

right now it's just old Tchaikowsky moaning and groaning his
way through symphony #5
but it's just as good as when I first heard it

I haven't heard one of my favorites, Eric Coates, for some time
but I know that if I keep drinking the good red and listening
that he will be along

there are others, many others

and so
this is just another poem about drinking and listening to
music

repeat, right?

but look at Faulkner, he not only said the same thing over and
over but he said the same
place

so, please, let me boost these giants of our lives
once more: the classical composers of our time and
of times past

it has kept the rope from my throat

maybe it will loosen
yours

from "Third Lung Review" - 1992
 
poem1975-09-15-the_joke.jpg

poem1974-12-24-a_poem_for_the_swing.jpg

poem1974-06-13-while_sitting_in_a_b.jpg
 
drinking and bukowski kind of work well together. it's been quite a while since i read his work. gotta get back to it. this in particular reminds me of that raymond carver poem (my dog died, i think it's called?). so dry yet so heavy and ... it's a kind of indescribable feeling.
 
oh my goodness crystalcallus... where on earth did you get those. i feel like breaking out my typewriter
 
I awakened to dryness and the ferns were dead,
the potted plants yellow as corn;
my woman was gone
and the empty bottles like bled corpses
surrounded me with their uselssness;
the sun was still good, though,
and my landlady's note cracked in fine and
undemanding yellowness; what was needed now
was a good comedian, ancient style, a jester
with jokes upon absurd pain; pain is absurd
because it exits, nothing more;
I shaved carefully with an old razor
the man who had once been young and
said to have genius; but
that's the tragedy of the leaves,
the dead ferns, the dead plants;
and I walked into a dark hall
where the landlady stood
exrecrating and final,
sending me to hell,
waving her fat, sweaty arms
and screaming
screaming for rent
because the world had failed us
both.

-----

my sister just recently gave me "burning in water, drowning in flame" - i love it so far.
 
a bump for this in memory of gillywin. i finally got around to watching the documentary bukowski: born into this last night (as recommended long ago by gill), and it was great. gill was a big fan, and so am i. they both found salvation too often in drinking i guess :(
 
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