harraser
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2001
- Messages
- 2,091
Walking in the rain in my favorite park
I come here to be alone because it helps me to forget all the violence and noise and cold,grey concrete of the world,so for a little while I can pretend that everything is beutiful and peaceful.
I leave the path and start weaving through the trees,yellow and green and hanging low with the rain water, like theyre having trouble holding up the wieght of the sky and any second it'll come crashing down to crush everything.
A branch brushes across my face, leaving little droplets to run down in a cold reminder of the days when I could cry.
As they always do when Im alone, my thoughts turn to you and I smile.
Its not often that I smile anymore. At least its not often that my smile isnt caused by some cynical observation about the fucked up state of the world around me.But today my smile is due to one simple, happy memory.
A memory of a night about 6 months ago when I got an unexpected phone call from a beutiful girl.She said she was having a party and that I should come round.It was raining outside, just like today but I braved the weather and finally made it to the station near her house. I dont remember the conversation with her mum in the car, all I remember is holding her hand and smiling.
When we got to the house I proceded to get excedingly drunk, afterall she had a head start and I had to catch up.I didnt know any of the people there but that didnt matter, I wasnt there to be social, I was there to be with her.
We were lying on her bed and I was having great difficulty hiding my arousal when she kept telling me how horny she was. I still remember the exact words she used while she was rubbing her leg up mine,"Sorry, but I just get so horny when Im drunk" kinda crude but at the time they were the most beutiful words Id ever heard, also the most frustrating as the room was full of people.
I wanted to kiss her so much....and then I looked into her eyes and knew that she wanted it too, so I kissed her.I remember her lips were soft and she tasted like Jim Beam. And then it happened, one of her freinds grabbed me and said the one line that would mix up my head for the next few months, she said "Man dont kiss her OK.she's got a boyfreind"
For the next few hours my memory gets kinda sketchy. I remember babling incoherently at her freinds in an attempt to appologise, all the while wishing that theyde just fuck off and let us be. I remember her crying on the kitchen floor cause I wouldnt kiss her and then I almost killed us both when I picked her up to carry her back to her room and nearly fell through the sliding glass doors. I remember her crying herself to sleep and then me going outside and throwing up all over her back yard, in front of her mum. But other than these few things my memory is completely blank for a few hours.
But then my memory clears up. Everone has either gone home or passed out and Im the only one left awake, but then she opens her eyes and smiles. She comes over and kisses me, I make a half hearted attempt at saying "we shouldnt do this" but my protest is stopped by another kiss. She tells me "Id break up with him right now but he probably wouldnt appreciate a call at three in the morning so itll just have to wait until tomorow" I smile and let my worries get lost in her, In the floral dress that her freinds gave her shit for but which I think looks amazing. She gets all self concious when I start to laugh and then she laughes too when I tell her its cause I forgot she had her tongue pierced.
We spent the whole night just holding each other and kissing and whispering about how we were gonna run away to far off lands together. I dont remember falling asleep but when I woke up I was freezing cause she'd taken all the covers.
As I come out of my reverie I realise that Ive stopped walking so I turn around and head for home.
Since that night almost everything has changed, she's cut her hair and moved house, Ive changed uni's and done a million other trivial things. A few other things havent changed,she never broke up with her boyfreind.We've been through good and bad times and gradually drifted appart but my feelings for her havent changed and no matter what happens ill always have that one happy memory to pull me through.who knows, maybe one day itll pull me through to her again.
As I hit the street my mind once again turns back to the worries of living in the modern world, how Im gonna pay the fine I got last week, if my pay'll go in on time and all the other crap that drives the happy memories from my mind, but I keep the smile cause in the back of my mind is an image of her smiling face,drunk and happy.
I come here to be alone because it helps me to forget all the violence and noise and cold,grey concrete of the world,so for a little while I can pretend that everything is beutiful and peaceful.
I leave the path and start weaving through the trees,yellow and green and hanging low with the rain water, like theyre having trouble holding up the wieght of the sky and any second it'll come crashing down to crush everything.
A branch brushes across my face, leaving little droplets to run down in a cold reminder of the days when I could cry.
As they always do when Im alone, my thoughts turn to you and I smile.
Its not often that I smile anymore. At least its not often that my smile isnt caused by some cynical observation about the fucked up state of the world around me.But today my smile is due to one simple, happy memory.
A memory of a night about 6 months ago when I got an unexpected phone call from a beutiful girl.She said she was having a party and that I should come round.It was raining outside, just like today but I braved the weather and finally made it to the station near her house. I dont remember the conversation with her mum in the car, all I remember is holding her hand and smiling.
When we got to the house I proceded to get excedingly drunk, afterall she had a head start and I had to catch up.I didnt know any of the people there but that didnt matter, I wasnt there to be social, I was there to be with her.
We were lying on her bed and I was having great difficulty hiding my arousal when she kept telling me how horny she was. I still remember the exact words she used while she was rubbing her leg up mine,"Sorry, but I just get so horny when Im drunk" kinda crude but at the time they were the most beutiful words Id ever heard, also the most frustrating as the room was full of people.
I wanted to kiss her so much....and then I looked into her eyes and knew that she wanted it too, so I kissed her.I remember her lips were soft and she tasted like Jim Beam. And then it happened, one of her freinds grabbed me and said the one line that would mix up my head for the next few months, she said "Man dont kiss her OK.she's got a boyfreind"
For the next few hours my memory gets kinda sketchy. I remember babling incoherently at her freinds in an attempt to appologise, all the while wishing that theyde just fuck off and let us be. I remember her crying on the kitchen floor cause I wouldnt kiss her and then I almost killed us both when I picked her up to carry her back to her room and nearly fell through the sliding glass doors. I remember her crying herself to sleep and then me going outside and throwing up all over her back yard, in front of her mum. But other than these few things my memory is completely blank for a few hours.
But then my memory clears up. Everone has either gone home or passed out and Im the only one left awake, but then she opens her eyes and smiles. She comes over and kisses me, I make a half hearted attempt at saying "we shouldnt do this" but my protest is stopped by another kiss. She tells me "Id break up with him right now but he probably wouldnt appreciate a call at three in the morning so itll just have to wait until tomorow" I smile and let my worries get lost in her, In the floral dress that her freinds gave her shit for but which I think looks amazing. She gets all self concious when I start to laugh and then she laughes too when I tell her its cause I forgot she had her tongue pierced.
We spent the whole night just holding each other and kissing and whispering about how we were gonna run away to far off lands together. I dont remember falling asleep but when I woke up I was freezing cause she'd taken all the covers.
As I come out of my reverie I realise that Ive stopped walking so I turn around and head for home.
Since that night almost everything has changed, she's cut her hair and moved house, Ive changed uni's and done a million other trivial things. A few other things havent changed,she never broke up with her boyfreind.We've been through good and bad times and gradually drifted appart but my feelings for her havent changed and no matter what happens ill always have that one happy memory to pull me through.who knows, maybe one day itll pull me through to her again.
As I hit the street my mind once again turns back to the worries of living in the modern world, how Im gonna pay the fine I got last week, if my pay'll go in on time and all the other crap that drives the happy memories from my mind, but I keep the smile cause in the back of my mind is an image of her smiling face,drunk and happy.
very nice writing