deYFreeMon
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2002
- Messages
- 146
from PIHKAL (p. 353-355) in Ann's voice after George took 40mg of TOM-5:
"Fifteen minutes later, George had made it down the stairs and was seated in his favorite armchair in the living room, beginning to remember English. Leah brought him a piece of fresh buttered sourdough bread with a slice of cheese, and Ruth sat beside him, spooning soup into his mouth. His face was happy and his eyes seemed to be functioning normally. I had the impression that some corner of his soul was still attached to wherever it was he'd been, but the tie was weakening. He was definitely coming back.
His first sentence was, 'Good grief! Why I am being fed like a baby!'
Ruth handed him the spoon, chuckling, and he finished the bowl of soup on his own. Then he sat back in his chair, burped appreciatively, and looked around the room at the faces intently watching his every move. We were all smiling at him, and he smiled back.
'It's fading,' he complained, 'I was in the most amazing place, and lots of things were going on, but I'm losing it now. I don't want to forget it. Have to tell you as much as I can remember, before it all goes.'
We clustered around him, in chairs on the floor, while he spoke, slowly, trying to hold onto the images, 'I remember the sea. I was on a long, curving beach and the sky was deep blue. Beautiful. At one point, I remember seeing what looked like the bands of a spectrum, and for a while I thought they were some kind of expression of my energy levels, but now I think maybe the horizontal lines were just my mind's way of trying to make something familiar and recognizable out of whatever was going on.
'Eventually, I could see real images, but the were tremendously distorted, like Cubism paintings by Picasso, with intense and very strange colorations. There were colors I've never seen before, but it's getting hard to remember them, now. Why am I losing them so fast?'
We urged him to tell us as much as he could before the amnesia curtain came completely down, and he said, 'I know I wasn't afraid at any time. Everything was benign. As I began coming down,I realized I'd had an extraordinary experience, but I wasn't prepared for it to start slipping away like this!'
Shura asked, 'Would you be willing to take this material again?'
George didn't hesitate. 'Yes, I certainly take it again, but at a way smaller dose, next time.'
We all joined in the laughter.
'I asked that question when I did,' said Shura, 'Because it was important to get your spontaneous reaction to the idea of a repeat, while you were still in the after-glow, so to speak.'
'Sure,' beamed George, 'That was one singular,unique, fantastic experience, and I can assure you I'm going to get homesick for that beach. It was the loveliest, most satisfying place I've ever been in my life, though I can't even begin to tell you why.'
Later we all grouped around the table again, to sing Happy Birthday and watch the Birthday Boy open cards and small nonsensical gifts. Then Shura went around the circle and asked for summaries.
Theo said, 'It's a no-win, for me, I regret to say. The food helped my stomach, but even now, I'm not really comfortable. If there had been something spectacular going on mentally for the physical, it would have been a different story, but there wasn't.'
I repeated what I'd said earlier about the cloak made of lead, and said that I, too, regretted having to conclude it was not my cup of tea. I added that I would probably pass on future tries of the material, although I still loved its name.
Emma said, 'I'm feeling almost guilty, at this point, for having had such a good time, but I did! I liked it!'
We said things like, That's okay, and Don't apologize, David adding, 'After all _somebody_ had to enjoy the whole thing!'
Emma added, 'I do agree with one thing Theo and Alice said, though. There wasn't much content, when you get down to it. Very relaxing and I felt terrifically good-humored, but there wasn't much else going on inside. It hasn't the richness of my favorite ones.
Ruth, her chair pulled as close to her husband's as it could go, said, 'There's one very positive thing I've got to say about my experience. All the time George was upstairs, going through his troubles--I gather he didn't think he was in trouble, but the rest of us sure did!--anyway, all that time, I wasn't really frightened. I knew I should be, but I just had a strong feeling, as I told Alice, that everything was going to turn out all right. A little voice told me not to worry, so I just kept busy and stopped worrying, believe it or not!'"
***
SMOKING THAT DUST [PCP] AT SAINT ANTHONY'S FEAST--The BSB's.
"Fifteen minutes later, George had made it down the stairs and was seated in his favorite armchair in the living room, beginning to remember English. Leah brought him a piece of fresh buttered sourdough bread with a slice of cheese, and Ruth sat beside him, spooning soup into his mouth. His face was happy and his eyes seemed to be functioning normally. I had the impression that some corner of his soul was still attached to wherever it was he'd been, but the tie was weakening. He was definitely coming back.
His first sentence was, 'Good grief! Why I am being fed like a baby!'
Ruth handed him the spoon, chuckling, and he finished the bowl of soup on his own. Then he sat back in his chair, burped appreciatively, and looked around the room at the faces intently watching his every move. We were all smiling at him, and he smiled back.
'It's fading,' he complained, 'I was in the most amazing place, and lots of things were going on, but I'm losing it now. I don't want to forget it. Have to tell you as much as I can remember, before it all goes.'
We clustered around him, in chairs on the floor, while he spoke, slowly, trying to hold onto the images, 'I remember the sea. I was on a long, curving beach and the sky was deep blue. Beautiful. At one point, I remember seeing what looked like the bands of a spectrum, and for a while I thought they were some kind of expression of my energy levels, but now I think maybe the horizontal lines were just my mind's way of trying to make something familiar and recognizable out of whatever was going on.
'Eventually, I could see real images, but the were tremendously distorted, like Cubism paintings by Picasso, with intense and very strange colorations. There were colors I've never seen before, but it's getting hard to remember them, now. Why am I losing them so fast?'
We urged him to tell us as much as he could before the amnesia curtain came completely down, and he said, 'I know I wasn't afraid at any time. Everything was benign. As I began coming down,I realized I'd had an extraordinary experience, but I wasn't prepared for it to start slipping away like this!'
Shura asked, 'Would you be willing to take this material again?'
George didn't hesitate. 'Yes, I certainly take it again, but at a way smaller dose, next time.'
We all joined in the laughter.
'I asked that question when I did,' said Shura, 'Because it was important to get your spontaneous reaction to the idea of a repeat, while you were still in the after-glow, so to speak.'
'Sure,' beamed George, 'That was one singular,unique, fantastic experience, and I can assure you I'm going to get homesick for that beach. It was the loveliest, most satisfying place I've ever been in my life, though I can't even begin to tell you why.'
Later we all grouped around the table again, to sing Happy Birthday and watch the Birthday Boy open cards and small nonsensical gifts. Then Shura went around the circle and asked for summaries.
Theo said, 'It's a no-win, for me, I regret to say. The food helped my stomach, but even now, I'm not really comfortable. If there had been something spectacular going on mentally for the physical, it would have been a different story, but there wasn't.'
I repeated what I'd said earlier about the cloak made of lead, and said that I, too, regretted having to conclude it was not my cup of tea. I added that I would probably pass on future tries of the material, although I still loved its name.
Emma said, 'I'm feeling almost guilty, at this point, for having had such a good time, but I did! I liked it!'
We said things like, That's okay, and Don't apologize, David adding, 'After all _somebody_ had to enjoy the whole thing!'
Emma added, 'I do agree with one thing Theo and Alice said, though. There wasn't much content, when you get down to it. Very relaxing and I felt terrifically good-humored, but there wasn't much else going on inside. It hasn't the richness of my favorite ones.
Ruth, her chair pulled as close to her husband's as it could go, said, 'There's one very positive thing I've got to say about my experience. All the time George was upstairs, going through his troubles--I gather he didn't think he was in trouble, but the rest of us sure did!--anyway, all that time, I wasn't really frightened. I knew I should be, but I just had a strong feeling, as I told Alice, that everything was going to turn out all right. A little voice told me not to worry, so I just kept busy and stopped worrying, believe it or not!'"
***
SMOKING THAT DUST [PCP] AT SAINT ANTHONY'S FEAST--The BSB's.
