a holiday story (everyone contribute)

and hand him the fern, which he chows down as if he were starving (or had the munchies). Then I got that feeling you get when you know someone is staring at you, so I spun around and there stood..........
 
Tom Shibly (Spider) he looked as though he was troll rolling, hunched over with one eye completly closed and the other bugging out of the eye socket, and he tells you that he used to know liquid now he is liquid.... and your thinking to yourself WHAT THR FUCK is this thing it is the most terrifing site you have ever seen. He then trys to hump your leg but you then___________
 
myself, for I forgot that I was standing with my back facing the mirror. As I looked myself in the face, I noticed that I forgot to______
 
SHAVE so as i was walking home i walked past
these huge untrimed bushes and noticed_______
 
...noticed General Barry McCaffrey exposing his genitals to an 8 year old girl! What a great blackmail opportunity I figure, so I ________
 
I noticed two squirrels staring down at my pocket, and then they started whispering back in forth, I started getting paranoid, so I started speed walking and they followed me and I heard one of them say "Quickly, we must
snatch his beans", I then began running while yelling at the top of my lungs "NO,NO, N*E*THING BUT MY BEANS, HELP "!!! Finally up and out of the sky, PAPA SMURF flies down to rescue me and all the while he's grunting and humming La,La,LA,LA,LA,LA--LA,LA,LA,LA,LAAAAA
while regulating on both of the squirrels!
I was pleasantly satisfied, skipping down the sidewalk and chanting "God, save the beans" and praising the mighty PAPA SMURF, cause after all it's all about him for the night.
I then hear.......
 
the voice of the nurse saying, "he's waking up now". I pen my eyes to find I'm in a hospital bed and my mother is standing in the corner______
 
dancing, while my father stands at the window unable to believe his eyes as _____
 
he see's up in the clouds a 2ft snowman,an 8ft santa,a tall brunette and poppa smurf all
winking at him he turns looks at the nurse and says_________
 
HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD- Pat my ass and call me charlie!!! Santa- Papa Smurf-2ft tall snow man and a tall brunette, wow son these were some fantastic beans you had thanks for the beans, then the nurse________
 
rips off her mask to reveal an ugly demon, you jump up out of bed and haul ass for the door, you trip over a tray of drugs and grab a bottle of morphin and ketamen, and right then the........
 
Doctor comes in and says "where do you think
you are going you can only_______
 
sniff the rails that i have lined up in the back office. after the wonderful sensation snuck into our noses, we shared some good kind bud that we smoked out of the hooka which was safely hidden under the chair...all of a sudden, our bodies began to float and we were swimming through the air.......
 
as i floated out the window i noticed i was not alone. I looked to my left and noticed that the entire 1976 Pittsburgh Pirates were floating with me and on my right? None other than tv's Patrick Duffy. So i say to them, "hey guys lets go down town and get a ____________
------------------
"Fuck the Millenium...I'm not going"
 
A Super x-large pizza with all the toppings
after that we can go to the secret rave over
in the industrial district i know a guy who________
 
sells "magic beans" for only five bucks!! "YEAH", the group let out a cheer! We get into the car and all of a sudden______
 
can remove you from Scuttlebutt's leg Mr. Duffy" So we go to the magician's lair where the sound of hard house resonates. But...oh no! Scuttlebutt is dancing, quick stepping, but Patrick Duffy is still attatched. The magician says abracadabra and poof ______________
 
your in Munchkinland. So, your off to see the wizard when you stop and ask the talking tree for directions to Oz, so that he can give you the majic shoes to take you back to the rave when ______
 
you realize you've been in first peron for most of the story which means you are "two guys and a girl." Realizing the parallel to the Trinity you quickly go back into 3rd person before God strikes you dead for blasphamy. THEY then join the cast of seseme street to teach the letter E and _________
 
while u r learning about the most wonderful letter in the alphabet u see three small men one green, one blue and one red u say hi and ask them to join u and they say _____________
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we r here for a good time not a long time
 
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