HighCommand42
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2010
- Messages
- 2
I posted a few weeks back on a topic on DXM induced cognitive impairment on another site......
(About 2 years ago I was 18 and had just graduated. I had never taken drugs before, but decided to try pot one day because I was bored. I fell in love with it and soon did some research and learned that weed was one of the safest drugs out there. At that time I had maybe two problems. I had always struggled with reading and could never remember just about anything I read. Also I had OCD. When I smoked pot my OCD went away completely but obviously my memory and concentration worsened. So I kept smoking for multiple reasons, mostly because it was beneficial. I loved the euphoric effects that made everything more enjoyable. I felt like I had been missing out on something magical my whole life. So after a few months I came across harder drugs. I wanted to stay with weed and nothing else but curiosity got the better of me. I thought I would be safe to try these occasionally. So soon I was using hallucinogens...2CI, LSD, ecstacy, shrooms, etc.
So basically one day I made a horrible decision to take two boxes of ccc's with 600 mg of DXM or dextromorphan to trip. Basically the active ingredient in cough syrup is a dissociative. I was stupid to not research the damage it could do to the liver or brain, but did it anyway. I had a very spiritual experience which was on a whole different level than any other drug I tried, since DXM is a powerful dissociative. I was tripping for 2 days and after it wore off I felt like I was returning to reality and everything was perfect. Mentally and physically all was perfect. There was no other word to describe it. Then the feeling wore off after a day and I felt like my vision was screwed up somehow. Weeks, months passed and I definitely noticed that my vision seemed to be permanently damaged or maybe altered. I had a job but got sick of it and quit. So for the next year I would sit around, do drugs, and play video games. My vision was getting slowly worse. I told everyone once my vision was fixed I would get a job and go to college, but not before it was fixed. I'm still not sure if the DXM caused the vision to worsen or continued use of drugs did. I fell into a downward spiral of problems. The worse my vision got, the worse my mood and concentration got. I felt very anxious all the time. I also felt confused. I had a very happy life until the vision problem started back in 2008. I had 20/20 vision my whole life. Then I started having double vision, nystagmus and peripheral vision loss immediately after dxm. I started having a massive amount of mental problems that I never had before. Anxiety, depression, delirium, panic attacks, mood swings, feeling detached from reality, etc. I could not pay attention to anything or learn new things and my memory was gone. And the worse my vision got the worse my mind got. The first eye doctor said I had convergence insufficiency and prescribed pencil push-up exercises. My vision worsened. Then he prescribed prism lenses that only worsened my vision. I went to my doctor to try and treat my mental problems, which at the time was just concentration. (My problems were only at their early stages then.) I was taking Vyvanse for concentration, but it did not help. So as everything worsened I was referred to other types of doctors. I had been to optometrists, psychologists, psychiatrists, neurologists, neuro-opthamologists, had MRI's, blood tests and no success. Even went to the Mayo clinic.
I have been on antidepressants, benzos, mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, stimulants, pretty much everything. I hated medications and hated the thought of glasses. Both were failing me. Everything was getting worse to the point where I was suicidal and I needed weed because nothing else helped alleviate symptoms. At the same time I didn't enjoy weed anymore. I couldn't read or drive and was too screwed up to even get a job. I went to 2 different psych wards, but all they did was prescribe horrible meds. I thought I was stuck with brain damage and my life would be hell until I died. So I found out that vision therapy was an option for my vision problem (convergence insufficiency), a problem caused by the brain and eyes not working together. My eyes were physically working fine. I found a developmental optometrist that started me on vision exercises for an hour every day. He said it would take a couple months to see improvements. I did okay for the first couple weeks, but then I got very impatient because nothing was improving. I lost hope because this was the only thing left to try and I did not have the patience and felt very angry about my situation.
So a year and a half after the only time I ever took DXM, I decided to take it again and almost attempted suicide. I thought if DXM caused my problems, maybe doing it again would somehow reverse them in some crazy way. I went into the woods with two bottles of waltussin (DXM) and took them. I had the scariest trip of my life and all my problems were at their peak. I believed I was in hell. My visual symptoms were a hundred times worse and I could barely think at all. My parents had the cops looking for me but they never found me as I walked home after almost 10 hours in the woods alone. I was still tripping when I arrived, and was willing to take the risk of being caught if it meant laying down and being safe. My parents were horrified. I went into my room and wanted to lay on my bed, sleep, and sit there until the effects wore off. My parents had called the cops. They came and took me to the hospital while I was tripping hard. It was the scariest point of my life. I was lying on the hospital bed feeling a whole new level of bad. I didn't want to live any more. They stuck an IV in me and I layed there for hours. It was the darkest point of my life. I felt completely alone and cold and had nobody to talk to.
Suddenly, within an hour it happened. Keep in mind this is the second time I did DXM, one and a half years after the first. The returning to reality part was taking place but much more powerfully this time. I saw perfectly, not even a slight problem with my vision. My spacial awareness was off the charts. I could observe everything in the room and think clearly. I literally thought I died and was in heaven. I was filled with more happiness than I had ever experienced in 19 years. My concentration, memory, and mood were practically reversed or reset. I had no vision or mental problems. It was all gone. I felt more alive that I had my entire life. Over a year of mental problems and vision problems that doctors couldn't help were gone over night. I felt reborn. The next two weeks were the most spiritual days of my life. I felt so connected to everything. My vision doctor even said that the shortest amount of time my severe vision problems would improve was after 2 months of therapy. But I had found a loophole. It happened overnight. I was completely healed and had zero problems at all. As soon as my vision improved my mental problems did too, so they are definitely related somehow. It was a miracle that I had went from suicidal to the happiest I have ever been overnight. This feeling of perfection lasted for two weeks then diminished over time. I first perceived it as something supernatural it was that powerful of an experience but of course it was just the drug that somehow altered my brain, nothing supernatural about it, just a huge discovery. Everyone is in shock because they don't understand how a drug so dangerous and harmful could have somehow fixed my vision and all my mental disorders simultaneously. Not only fixed them but improved dramatically to where I could read five times faster and had a good memory and was super happy no matter what happened. I could pay attention to every little detail around me. Everything was improved!
My vision problem wasn't physical, my eyes are working fine. My brain had something wrong with it that was causing the vision problems. But if I knew what part of my brain was affected, how it was affected, and what else other than DXM can fix this part of the brain. Even my doctors are confused and don't know what fixed it.. I saw perfectly and instead of being depressed everything turned out extremely fun and interesting. I didn't even need weed because I constantly felt high even though I wasn't on any drugs. I felt the best I have ever felt, euphoric and alive and free of problems. The funny thing is that for two weeks this lasted, long after the drug wore off. How did a drug like DXM fix my vision and mind simultaneously and keep it that way? Why did this last for 2 weeks but fade away after that. The first time I did dxm I remember feeling very amazing after effects when I was returning to reality that lasted a few hours. But for some reason a year and a half later when I did dxm it lasted for 2 weeks. That time though I had more mental and vision problems, so when they all were healed at the exact same time, it felt like a new experience. I felt more alive than I ever have, I felt more connected to reality than I ever had in my entire life. I felt way happier that time but I have no clue why it lasted for 2 weeks or what about DXM causes this alteration of consciousness and my vision. So the next few weeks I felt like my problems went from solved, to back to feeling normal, to declining again. Slowly everything worsened and I am back to where I started pretty much. I am very concerned about my vision.
The fact that my severe vision and psychological problems that lasted for over a year and were gone within an hour is mind blowing. I was desperate to try everything to fix those problems over that year and a half. I thought hallucinogens would cure my problems, but they just worsened them. Eventually I tried to do what the doctors wanted and tried many things. Prism glasses, vision therapy, for my vision. The list of things I have been prescribed is pretty long. Vyvanse, Klonopin, Abilify, Seroquel, Lithium, Zyprexa, Prosac, Lexapro, Risperadal, etc. So basically I'm trying to say that none of these street drugs or meds helped my problems at all. DXM was the only thing that not only fixed everything for 2 weeks but perfected everything. DXM pretty much transformed all my problems into their polar opposites if that makes sense. Like seeing double to seeing one, feeling anxious to feeling euphoric, bad memory to good, good peripheral vision, good reading comprehension, suicidal thoughts to treasuring every moment. When my peripheral vision is good, or my spacial awareness, it seemed like that was the root problem to everything else visually and mentally. I could observe everything around me simultaneously. So now I am dealing with these problems again. I have been smoking marijuana regularly to deal with my problems.
If only I could figure out what is causing my vision problems then I can find a solution. Or what part of my brain is causing this. I know that DXM affects the brain a certain way, which may be beneficial in figuring out the exact cause and solution. This should be researched though. I will seek further visual care, and I strongly believe that treating my mind will do nothing but mask the true problem because it seems the main problem is vision. My vision and mental problems went away at the exact same time. Right now I feel very disoriented and my peripheral vision isn't good. I can hardly function normally. I have virtually no memory and I can't pay attention at all. All I know is that when my vision is good, everything is good. But in order to fix my vision, maybe NMDA, dopaminergic, or serotonin receptors are the answer. I'm probably way off. There is no reason to live like this and accept it and do nothing. I experienced perfect brain function. Never in a million years did I think I would ever feel normal again, but then I was able to feel a 1000 times better than normal. While I don't expect to attain the DXM-induced aftereffect of happiness, I expect to return back to normal brain functioning one day. So I found a loophole if the doctor said it would take 2 months to see improvement and everything improved 100% in less than an hour after DXM. So why did this feeling of perfection and connection to reality last 2 weeks and fade away, but the other times I used DXM this lasted a few hours only? Any advice would be appreciated. To the OP, we may have different symptoms and situations, but I believe we will have the same solution. A permanent solution to a temporary problem.) -----(Previous Post)----
Anyone on this sight have a professional explanation why this happened or a suggestion on what to do to heal myself? I have pretty much given up on any drugs as helping, and exercise seems to help the most right now.
(About 2 years ago I was 18 and had just graduated. I had never taken drugs before, but decided to try pot one day because I was bored. I fell in love with it and soon did some research and learned that weed was one of the safest drugs out there. At that time I had maybe two problems. I had always struggled with reading and could never remember just about anything I read. Also I had OCD. When I smoked pot my OCD went away completely but obviously my memory and concentration worsened. So I kept smoking for multiple reasons, mostly because it was beneficial. I loved the euphoric effects that made everything more enjoyable. I felt like I had been missing out on something magical my whole life. So after a few months I came across harder drugs. I wanted to stay with weed and nothing else but curiosity got the better of me. I thought I would be safe to try these occasionally. So soon I was using hallucinogens...2CI, LSD, ecstacy, shrooms, etc.
So basically one day I made a horrible decision to take two boxes of ccc's with 600 mg of DXM or dextromorphan to trip. Basically the active ingredient in cough syrup is a dissociative. I was stupid to not research the damage it could do to the liver or brain, but did it anyway. I had a very spiritual experience which was on a whole different level than any other drug I tried, since DXM is a powerful dissociative. I was tripping for 2 days and after it wore off I felt like I was returning to reality and everything was perfect. Mentally and physically all was perfect. There was no other word to describe it. Then the feeling wore off after a day and I felt like my vision was screwed up somehow. Weeks, months passed and I definitely noticed that my vision seemed to be permanently damaged or maybe altered. I had a job but got sick of it and quit. So for the next year I would sit around, do drugs, and play video games. My vision was getting slowly worse. I told everyone once my vision was fixed I would get a job and go to college, but not before it was fixed. I'm still not sure if the DXM caused the vision to worsen or continued use of drugs did. I fell into a downward spiral of problems. The worse my vision got, the worse my mood and concentration got. I felt very anxious all the time. I also felt confused. I had a very happy life until the vision problem started back in 2008. I had 20/20 vision my whole life. Then I started having double vision, nystagmus and peripheral vision loss immediately after dxm. I started having a massive amount of mental problems that I never had before. Anxiety, depression, delirium, panic attacks, mood swings, feeling detached from reality, etc. I could not pay attention to anything or learn new things and my memory was gone. And the worse my vision got the worse my mind got. The first eye doctor said I had convergence insufficiency and prescribed pencil push-up exercises. My vision worsened. Then he prescribed prism lenses that only worsened my vision. I went to my doctor to try and treat my mental problems, which at the time was just concentration. (My problems were only at their early stages then.) I was taking Vyvanse for concentration, but it did not help. So as everything worsened I was referred to other types of doctors. I had been to optometrists, psychologists, psychiatrists, neurologists, neuro-opthamologists, had MRI's, blood tests and no success. Even went to the Mayo clinic.
I have been on antidepressants, benzos, mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, stimulants, pretty much everything. I hated medications and hated the thought of glasses. Both were failing me. Everything was getting worse to the point where I was suicidal and I needed weed because nothing else helped alleviate symptoms. At the same time I didn't enjoy weed anymore. I couldn't read or drive and was too screwed up to even get a job. I went to 2 different psych wards, but all they did was prescribe horrible meds. I thought I was stuck with brain damage and my life would be hell until I died. So I found out that vision therapy was an option for my vision problem (convergence insufficiency), a problem caused by the brain and eyes not working together. My eyes were physically working fine. I found a developmental optometrist that started me on vision exercises for an hour every day. He said it would take a couple months to see improvements. I did okay for the first couple weeks, but then I got very impatient because nothing was improving. I lost hope because this was the only thing left to try and I did not have the patience and felt very angry about my situation.
So a year and a half after the only time I ever took DXM, I decided to take it again and almost attempted suicide. I thought if DXM caused my problems, maybe doing it again would somehow reverse them in some crazy way. I went into the woods with two bottles of waltussin (DXM) and took them. I had the scariest trip of my life and all my problems were at their peak. I believed I was in hell. My visual symptoms were a hundred times worse and I could barely think at all. My parents had the cops looking for me but they never found me as I walked home after almost 10 hours in the woods alone. I was still tripping when I arrived, and was willing to take the risk of being caught if it meant laying down and being safe. My parents were horrified. I went into my room and wanted to lay on my bed, sleep, and sit there until the effects wore off. My parents had called the cops. They came and took me to the hospital while I was tripping hard. It was the scariest point of my life. I was lying on the hospital bed feeling a whole new level of bad. I didn't want to live any more. They stuck an IV in me and I layed there for hours. It was the darkest point of my life. I felt completely alone and cold and had nobody to talk to.
Suddenly, within an hour it happened. Keep in mind this is the second time I did DXM, one and a half years after the first. The returning to reality part was taking place but much more powerfully this time. I saw perfectly, not even a slight problem with my vision. My spacial awareness was off the charts. I could observe everything in the room and think clearly. I literally thought I died and was in heaven. I was filled with more happiness than I had ever experienced in 19 years. My concentration, memory, and mood were practically reversed or reset. I had no vision or mental problems. It was all gone. I felt more alive that I had my entire life. Over a year of mental problems and vision problems that doctors couldn't help were gone over night. I felt reborn. The next two weeks were the most spiritual days of my life. I felt so connected to everything. My vision doctor even said that the shortest amount of time my severe vision problems would improve was after 2 months of therapy. But I had found a loophole. It happened overnight. I was completely healed and had zero problems at all. As soon as my vision improved my mental problems did too, so they are definitely related somehow. It was a miracle that I had went from suicidal to the happiest I have ever been overnight. This feeling of perfection lasted for two weeks then diminished over time. I first perceived it as something supernatural it was that powerful of an experience but of course it was just the drug that somehow altered my brain, nothing supernatural about it, just a huge discovery. Everyone is in shock because they don't understand how a drug so dangerous and harmful could have somehow fixed my vision and all my mental disorders simultaneously. Not only fixed them but improved dramatically to where I could read five times faster and had a good memory and was super happy no matter what happened. I could pay attention to every little detail around me. Everything was improved!
My vision problem wasn't physical, my eyes are working fine. My brain had something wrong with it that was causing the vision problems. But if I knew what part of my brain was affected, how it was affected, and what else other than DXM can fix this part of the brain. Even my doctors are confused and don't know what fixed it.. I saw perfectly and instead of being depressed everything turned out extremely fun and interesting. I didn't even need weed because I constantly felt high even though I wasn't on any drugs. I felt the best I have ever felt, euphoric and alive and free of problems. The funny thing is that for two weeks this lasted, long after the drug wore off. How did a drug like DXM fix my vision and mind simultaneously and keep it that way? Why did this last for 2 weeks but fade away after that. The first time I did dxm I remember feeling very amazing after effects when I was returning to reality that lasted a few hours. But for some reason a year and a half later when I did dxm it lasted for 2 weeks. That time though I had more mental and vision problems, so when they all were healed at the exact same time, it felt like a new experience. I felt more alive than I ever have, I felt more connected to reality than I ever had in my entire life. I felt way happier that time but I have no clue why it lasted for 2 weeks or what about DXM causes this alteration of consciousness and my vision. So the next few weeks I felt like my problems went from solved, to back to feeling normal, to declining again. Slowly everything worsened and I am back to where I started pretty much. I am very concerned about my vision.
The fact that my severe vision and psychological problems that lasted for over a year and were gone within an hour is mind blowing. I was desperate to try everything to fix those problems over that year and a half. I thought hallucinogens would cure my problems, but they just worsened them. Eventually I tried to do what the doctors wanted and tried many things. Prism glasses, vision therapy, for my vision. The list of things I have been prescribed is pretty long. Vyvanse, Klonopin, Abilify, Seroquel, Lithium, Zyprexa, Prosac, Lexapro, Risperadal, etc. So basically I'm trying to say that none of these street drugs or meds helped my problems at all. DXM was the only thing that not only fixed everything for 2 weeks but perfected everything. DXM pretty much transformed all my problems into their polar opposites if that makes sense. Like seeing double to seeing one, feeling anxious to feeling euphoric, bad memory to good, good peripheral vision, good reading comprehension, suicidal thoughts to treasuring every moment. When my peripheral vision is good, or my spacial awareness, it seemed like that was the root problem to everything else visually and mentally. I could observe everything around me simultaneously. So now I am dealing with these problems again. I have been smoking marijuana regularly to deal with my problems.
If only I could figure out what is causing my vision problems then I can find a solution. Or what part of my brain is causing this. I know that DXM affects the brain a certain way, which may be beneficial in figuring out the exact cause and solution. This should be researched though. I will seek further visual care, and I strongly believe that treating my mind will do nothing but mask the true problem because it seems the main problem is vision. My vision and mental problems went away at the exact same time. Right now I feel very disoriented and my peripheral vision isn't good. I can hardly function normally. I have virtually no memory and I can't pay attention at all. All I know is that when my vision is good, everything is good. But in order to fix my vision, maybe NMDA, dopaminergic, or serotonin receptors are the answer. I'm probably way off. There is no reason to live like this and accept it and do nothing. I experienced perfect brain function. Never in a million years did I think I would ever feel normal again, but then I was able to feel a 1000 times better than normal. While I don't expect to attain the DXM-induced aftereffect of happiness, I expect to return back to normal brain functioning one day. So I found a loophole if the doctor said it would take 2 months to see improvement and everything improved 100% in less than an hour after DXM. So why did this feeling of perfection and connection to reality last 2 weeks and fade away, but the other times I used DXM this lasted a few hours only? Any advice would be appreciated. To the OP, we may have different symptoms and situations, but I believe we will have the same solution. A permanent solution to a temporary problem.) -----(Previous Post)----
Anyone on this sight have a professional explanation why this happened or a suggestion on what to do to heal myself? I have pretty much given up on any drugs as helping, and exercise seems to help the most right now.
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