Mental Health A Bit Much Too Treat Bipolar and Major Worsening Depression?!

[ThatSpaceyKid]

I really didn't think Bipolar Disorder was such a bitch to treat/control. But years of going undiagnosed leads to extreme addictions to medicate.... I also didn't think depression was physically abusive to you... When these two mix it's like shifting poles, complete misery, chaos, and are VERY potentially lethal and dangerous in my opinion from years of it and not knowing why it was that way when it was from being sick the whole time..I really do have something wrong with me and now everyone can't say it's a phase anymore... And being truely different because everything I felt was more intense/prolonged. My thoughts as well are irrational aggressive, and edgy...

I went to the doctor today after two months. After following up with him about my progress which is horrible there was a long discussion.... I had to make some choices for my health because it's getting worse. I'm different people pretty much everyday. Either social, happy, talkative, able to go through the day, positive, and starting to care again (Manic)... Then the very next day I can be angry with rage and have meltdowns... (Rage, Med induced Anger) Others a lifeless zombie. (Depression) And most either depressed or majorly depressed to the point of being unfunctional (Major Depression)...

I told him how I felt and that my manic and depressive symptoms are becoming harder to manage and cope with. So he insisted on starting me on Lithium Carbonate 300mg twice a day , Seroquel 150mg at night, he decided a Psychiatrist may be able to help me better after Abilify, Prozac, Seroquel, and Paxil were not effective and were running out of options because I need something for depression and mania. I just... Am initimidated by Lithium. It's effective for most, but it can do some damage if it's not for you... Also I have to get blood tests every 2 weeks to monitor Lithium levels in my body to prevent a deadly/harming overdose. And then another blood test every other month to monitor my blood to see if it's healthy and stuff I am terrified of needles now after shoving one in my vein myself.... And of what might show up...

I also got myself off Abilify and Prozac because they messed me up. Honestly ALL antidepressants are not right for me... I end up getting Manic restless and VERY irritated and angry and VERY homicidal. Or I turn into a hateful asshole for a week til I stop them.... I also stopped/started Seroquel on my own but at only half the dose. As half the dose is perfect. I can deal with anger right when I wake up because it's gone usually by Noon. And ye I feel the symptoms of Mania and depression, but there not as intense as they can get....

I am off of Heroin for once... I only smoke Crystal Meth once a week.... But sadly... I have to start going to NA Meetings... Probably drug counseling after they find out... And then I have to go to counseling... I probably will have to really plan stuff out from now on because I can't let them find Amphetamines in my blood... Weed that's whatever but Meth would probably make him call me a liar and turn me loose because it's from "drugs" when it's not.

But yes.... I think that's all a bit much.... Counseling with 4 different sources (Psychiatrist, Drug Counseling, Counseling, and NA Meetings.).... Routeine blood test.... Lithium.... It's so intimidating.... So much can go wrong . But I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired of feeling so damn miserable or a false sense of well being... I'm tired of the anxiety, not eating, not sleeping, hypereating, hypersleeping, fainting, feeling no pleasure or joy. Feeling hopeless. Feeling anger and rage. Getting too emotional about everything. Hurting from the past. Crying everyday... But worst is the deception when everything is going well, but one thing destroys it all and makes me have to restart... Should I give it a chance???


I am also saddened because.... If things don't change soon... I just want out of everything now. I want to go far away and start over... I have Considered a rehabilitation facility.... BUT ONLY if I CANNOT physically and mentally control Bipolar and depression anymore and if I am already a slave to Meth and can't get off on my own.... So I can get dual diagnosis treatment...

 

[UpInFlames]

Rapid cycling BP I, you poor thing. First of all, lose the meth. It's a really bad drug for bipolar people as it exacerbates the mood swings with the rush and euphoria and then the crash as it wears off into depression and anxiety.

Next. One other test if you are on lithium that your doc must do as a baseline and continue to do at intervals as long as you are on it:thyroid levels. Lithium can stop the thyroid from producing enough hormones and even shut it down completely.

The test you want run is called a T3/T4/TSH. T3 and T4 are the thyroid hormones. TSH is a thyroid stimulating hormone and is made by the pituitary gland to tell the thyroid gland to produce more hormone. The higher the TSH is, the worse your thyroid function is.

Test is a simple blood draw. I get it done every few months right along with my A1C (I'm diabetic).

I'm a bit uncomfortable with your pdoc not ordering the baseline thyroid panel. If he says its not needed, or comes off like he's humoring you by ordering tests ongoing, please find another pdoc. Also, be aware that in high doses, lithium can cause a tremor that can be permanent. It also messes with salt metabolism. You need to drink a LOT of water while on lithium, and watch your salt intake in other foods. Carry water with you at all times and sip on it as often as you can.

Lithium really helps a lot of people, especially those that suffer with bipolar mania with your level of severity.

Best of luck to you.

 

[Mmp85]

I take depakote for mania and its a step down from lithium.
I've been happy with the results in combination with antidepressants.