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90 days free from crystal meth..intense overwhelming cravings..im going crazy

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Stimlover22

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 11, 2012
Messages
139
Location
United States
I'm having a really difficult time right now. I took my last injection of crystal meth on 8/21/2012..so I am 88 days clean now. I got through the 1st month, slept and ate my ass off, and was feeling so relieved and healthier and ended up gaining 30lbs.
Now, I am craving it so bad it's getting hard to function daily without atleast day dreaming or spacing out thinking about meth, I don't know what to do..this drug was my everything. It was my best friend, my wife, my everything and most importantly MY LIFE..Maybe it doesn't help living where I live because I did a lot of my dope in this bedroom I am in. I have dreams several times a week that involves smoking the pipe or banging some..I do smoke marijuana which seems to help with anxiety attacks that I get, and I have no intention on stopping my daily marijuana usage. Sometimes I find myself carpet surfing for a shard or two I may have dropped, even though I vacuum everyday. It's such an obsession still and I am only 3 months clean. Something has to give here, I don't want to go back down that road again but I just don't seem to find joy in life without it...:(
 
The first time I quit meth I felt like I suffered residual anxiety and restlessness for almost a year and a half later. The neurochemical upheaval meth abuse causes is just stunning. During that time I didn't do anything to repair my neurology, however (ie exercise, nutrition, sleep hygiene, meditate, cessation/reduction of other psychoactive substances). Nonetheless, after an aggravatingly long time my brain repaired itself. Not everyone is so lucky, and as you may know, meth has the potential for psychosis, lasting damage to the brain.

I particularly sympathize for you in regards to the dreams. For me, they didn't occur after quitting meth, but I still have them about heroin. I try to keep an established morning ritual which is dynamic enough to take me out of that mindset if needed.

Congratulations on 3 months off - that is truly something of which to be proud. But it will still take some time to repair. Think of it this way, you still have the potential to feel so much better; you don't need to say to yourself "Oh shit, this is sobriety. I feel like hell - why bother?" b/c if you stay off the meth you will inevitably feel better. And as far as the obsession and addict behavior go: each time you resist the urge to use it will get slightly weaker as your mind readjusts pathways to pleasure toward healthy activity.

Good luck and your 3 months is admirable and inspiring. Stay strong.
 
Thank you for your response..I can empathize with you as well on a lot of things..I need to have a morning ritual like you have to keep my mind off of tina because I guess what I do isn't working out for me, yeah i'm clean but also miserable. I want to be clean and happy..honestly if I end up staying miserable like this then I might as well go back to meth. I need a program, and I need it now. What kind of meditations do you partake in if you don't mind me asking.
 
I would try to remember what you liked about life before you got into meth.

After I quit using meth, for at least 9 months, mostly daily usage (albeit I would have a day off of it every week or so) I only had a period where I slept in a lot for a few days, and I can't even say I went through serious cravings or withdrawal. I never gained the weight I lost back.

But anyways, I found it easy to get back into what I enjoyed in life, like music, writing, etc. because those are huge passions of mine. Remember what you're passionate about. :)
 
I hate it, I don't hate the feeling, but I hate the outcomes of it. I carpet surf for 2 hours, clean empty bags that I've already cleaned TWICE. Body goes through hell with no sleep and i see all these empty bags. I would've made 550 dollars more in my pocket that i wouldn't have now
 
You've already done so well by going 90 days without using, congratulations.
Now surely you don't want to let those 90 days and all your hard work and effort go to waste.
Most addicts fuck up again by getting clean then thinking that they will be ok if they just use the one time. Before they know it they got a fulltime habit again.
Try to stay not using as you know it makes sense.
 
stay strong,dont waste those 90 days,you cant stay with meth for life,it'll damage you,if you relapse can you go through the first 90 days again.try to find an interesting hobby and do that everytime you start craving....good luck
 
Stimlover22 said:
What kind of meditations do you partake in if you don't mind me asking.
Click to expand...

I wish I knew some more advanced techniques, but currently I just do basic diaphragm breathing, sometimes accompanied w/ visualization techniques. And I still haven't embedded it in my day-to-day regimen. Once I get back to complete abstinence from drugs and alcohol it will be easier - and in turn, the meditation I do manage makes that abstinence more attainable =D Furthermore, I see an Ayurvedic neurologist, and meditation is a substantial component in that treatment, so I suspect I'll be receiving some training from that venue soon. If you want some info on basic meditation techniques feel free to PM me!
 
I know what you're feeling. I started abusing Adderall in March of 2011, 5 weeks sober at the moment. I was doing fine for a while but intense cravings started out of no where over the past few days. Despite my optomistic attitude, the cravings have had me contimplating relapse.

Adderall might not be meth, but I was using in excess of 300 mg/day at times and mixing it with alcohol more often than not on the come down, so you could say I'm familiar with amp withdraw. 3 months is badass man, keep up the good work!
 
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