deptstoremook
Bluelighter
Hello,
Long-time lurker, (very) occasional poster. Last night I ingested approximately 70mg of 4-ACO-MiPT, along with marijuana and nitrous (described in detail in the report). While I have done other tryptamines before this experience was without a doubt the most intense, at times overwhelming, and wholly significant psychedelic experience I have ever had.
Today I feel strange: I know that I have experienced something that intrinsically separates me from those who haven't, that many of the things I've experienced don't have words to describe them, and I feel very alienated and alone. I guess I'm posting this because I'm seeking counsel on whether it's OK to feel this way, because I have a couple questions about specific trip elements, and because this is an uncommon drug and I took an uncommonly high dose and more knowledge is always a good thing. Here is the report (question and brief note appended):
I planned this trip well, having plenty of distractions on-hand, and a duty-free, stress-free environment prepared by the beginning of the trip (8:00PM MDT). I was slightly worried about tryptamine tolerance so I decided to dose what I approximate to be 30mg. Earlier I had rolled a spliff to be smoked when the effects began in earnest, and purchased some nitrous to be taken at the subjective peak of effects.
Timestamps are rough and only accurate to within an hour.
Note that there is some roundabout terminology, I apologize.
I make extensive use of the term “word-concept,” which refers to a discrete communication element which functioned in my mind as a word, but for which there is no written word to convey its meaning. A word-concept can be derived from the word (such as, “breathing”) but is still its own unique element.
T+0:00 – 30mg taken orally, sitting playing video games waiting for come-up signals.
T+0:30 – First come-up signs, I start listening to music and letting my thoughts wander. Muscle elasticity (as present the day before), a brightening of colors and a perception of general hues in vision present (for instance, my room looked very “red” or “blue” depending on the moment).
T+1:00 – Go for a walk outside and smoke my spliff; visuals prior this point were mostly as with my previous trip, that is, plays on the ambient light most apparent when staring at a relatively dark surface (staring up at the sky with street lights in my periphery produced the most sensations). As the marijuana began to take effect I felt the world (“my perception” will be used synonymously in this sense) “shifting” into layers; on the first layer I felt in touch with reality, while the second layer was heavily dissociative (this is indicative of marijuana, which produces dissociation in me).
T+1:30 – The marijuana activated an interesting sensation (synesthetic, I would say); all of my physical actions (breathing, moving my tongue in my mouth, blinking, walking) were perceived not only as the action itself, but also as a word-concept (my term for it at the time, and my term for it now): not only was breathing the physical breathing, but also a word-concept. Introspection revealed that the word-concepts of all of these sensations roughly translated into a generic affirmation—what I took (take) to be an affirmation of the will to live, a conceptual linking of the words “this” and “yes,” making its own word-concept that was euphoric to behold and embrace.
T+2:00 – At what I deemed an appropriate time I inhaled the nitrous oxide (approximately 2 lungfuls). What followed is something that I afterwards best described as “being in a tube.” This experience is extremely difficult to even conceptualize, much less verbalize: attempts to explain to individuals around me (roommates, visitors) fell far far short of doing it justice, but I try again here:
I inhaled the nitrous and sat back in the lounge chair I was seated in (good thing I was seated, too, or I surely would have fell). Almost immediately I was overtaken by an extremely pervasive buzzing sensation, the buzzing was physical, visual, aural, and conceptual—it felt like the extreme numbness I've experienced at high levels of DXM (mid-third plateau range), the sound distortion I experience on nitrous, and the visual effects of the 4-ACO-MiPT combined to place me in a “tube.” The tube was visually similar to the visual one gets during a headrush (vision blurred over) but, as the name implies, tubular (allowing for a view of the ceiling at the very center) and out of the sides of the tube came the geometric patterning that I had already been experiencing from the MiPT. I had no thoughts during this except for a pervasive “oh my god” word-concept that seemed to sum up the sensation.
T+2:02 – I snap out of this tube state and look at the floor in front of me (where, I realize, there is a sound curiously like the buzzing one I experienced during the “tube state.”) There are the whipped cream cans spilling because they had partially frozen in the fridge—it took me a moment to reconcile the fact that this was an actual happening, not a hallucination (the liquefied whipped cream was bubbling, which was a hallucination).
Now I endeavor to explain an even more difficult concept that I experienced. While scrubbing the carpet clean (and this had happened before) each scrape on the rug produced a rather unique thought pattern. The sound was perceived as innumerable brief utterances from when I lived at home: “take out the dog;” a word-concept which somehow represented my father and grandfather; my father's outstretched hand, him tall in comparison to the “me” in the vision; one which represented my sister-father (my sister and father are very close); one which was perceived as (of all things) the sound and vision of the fireballs that jump in Super Mario World; a goldfish; a black, red and white oil paint rectangle, and many other sensations.
To clarify, I refer to each of these sensations (there were many more I cannot convey) as vision-word-concepts, in that they were a brief vision, a sound (though not any sound I have ever heard), and an emotion (emotions I have never felt before, and for which I can find no words). I believe it was a truly novel experience, making me feel almost like a newborn experiencing something for which I could not find words, or even words to describe words that might be used to describe the vision-word-concept.
--Timestamps become extremely vague from here--
T+?3:00 – though the nitrous has certainly gone from my system, it set the cast for the rest of the trip; sensations like the ones I have belabored above pervade. Between now and about an hour from now, I snort the rest of the 4-ACO-MiPT that I have (around 40mg, bringing the total to at least 70mg). For reference, erowid tentatively recommends 20mg as a strong dose.
The visuals I experienced were incredibly intense; I had to lie down, and open-eye visuals were very present. Vividly colored patterning, contracting and expanding of surroundings and other distinct visuals (the ceiling dripping and crackling, and things generally bending to my will). Closed-eye visuals were almost exclusively “organic” (no sharp edged) fractals in rainbow coloring as well.
Interesting mental notes follow.
At some point of high intoxication I decided to tell my roommate that I was moving to another room. I knew he would take this as an attack on himself, and in fact engineered my statement to enhance this perception. I think that this was an experiment; I wanted to see my reaction to a certain reaction, and had about a 30 minute argument with him (and my other roommate) in which I subtly and bluntly condemned things that irritated me about him; at one point I recall saying (and this did not strike me as nasty, but rather humorous) that gambling on a random roommate would almost certainly result in net benefit for me.
Odd for this class of drugs (and providing reflection material later), I experienced egoism instead of ego-loss—I felt like I was engineering the entire conversation, that I was somehow above and better than the people I was talking to (almost a God to them, though it shames me to say it now). I relished in executing what I perceived as perfectly crafted turns of phrase, laughing after every one to signify my expertise. I describe this in such detail because it was most unusual; I usually avoid condescension and try to think of myself as equal to every other person, and this unbridled egoism (justified or not) struck me as offensive nearly immediately after the exchange.
Also at some point during this high-dosage stage, I decided to try and write down an explanation of what I describe as a “word-concept” at the top of the report. Here follows the babble, for insight.
quote:
Every word has a sound with it, so like when I swallow or sniffle it has a word and I like experience the visual-tactile, a kind of combination of the two,
Effects continued in this vein, ebbing and flowing until approximately 2:00 AM when the mental and visuals dropped substantially, leaving me with a pleasurable body high and some closed eye patterning. At time of writing I am still above baseline, though major effects have dropped sufficiently to allow writing.
I would especially like to hear from other individuals who have experienced the "word-concept" which I define at the top and experience in detail at t+2:02, as well as the "tube" which occured at 2:00.
Investigation of some internet sources revealed this tidbit from "The Psychedelic Experience" that I feel roughly defines the "word-concept":
Quote:
"The Fire-Flow of Internal Unity" (CEV)
Another type taken from _Psych Exp_, this involves more of *feeling* something than *seeing* it, although there are undescribeable hallucinations accompanying the feelings. The distinct difference to the last one is that the visuals are not geometric and separate, but amorphous, dim shapes directly linked to the emotions one is experiencing, which can be positive (bliss, love, peace) or negative (isolation, withdrawal, sadness).
Thanks for reading!
Long-time lurker, (very) occasional poster. Last night I ingested approximately 70mg of 4-ACO-MiPT, along with marijuana and nitrous (described in detail in the report). While I have done other tryptamines before this experience was without a doubt the most intense, at times overwhelming, and wholly significant psychedelic experience I have ever had.
Today I feel strange: I know that I have experienced something that intrinsically separates me from those who haven't, that many of the things I've experienced don't have words to describe them, and I feel very alienated and alone. I guess I'm posting this because I'm seeking counsel on whether it's OK to feel this way, because I have a couple questions about specific trip elements, and because this is an uncommon drug and I took an uncommonly high dose and more knowledge is always a good thing. Here is the report (question and brief note appended):
I planned this trip well, having plenty of distractions on-hand, and a duty-free, stress-free environment prepared by the beginning of the trip (8:00PM MDT). I was slightly worried about tryptamine tolerance so I decided to dose what I approximate to be 30mg. Earlier I had rolled a spliff to be smoked when the effects began in earnest, and purchased some nitrous to be taken at the subjective peak of effects.
Timestamps are rough and only accurate to within an hour.
Note that there is some roundabout terminology, I apologize.
I make extensive use of the term “word-concept,” which refers to a discrete communication element which functioned in my mind as a word, but for which there is no written word to convey its meaning. A word-concept can be derived from the word (such as, “breathing”) but is still its own unique element.
T+0:00 – 30mg taken orally, sitting playing video games waiting for come-up signals.
T+0:30 – First come-up signs, I start listening to music and letting my thoughts wander. Muscle elasticity (as present the day before), a brightening of colors and a perception of general hues in vision present (for instance, my room looked very “red” or “blue” depending on the moment).
T+1:00 – Go for a walk outside and smoke my spliff; visuals prior this point were mostly as with my previous trip, that is, plays on the ambient light most apparent when staring at a relatively dark surface (staring up at the sky with street lights in my periphery produced the most sensations). As the marijuana began to take effect I felt the world (“my perception” will be used synonymously in this sense) “shifting” into layers; on the first layer I felt in touch with reality, while the second layer was heavily dissociative (this is indicative of marijuana, which produces dissociation in me).
T+1:30 – The marijuana activated an interesting sensation (synesthetic, I would say); all of my physical actions (breathing, moving my tongue in my mouth, blinking, walking) were perceived not only as the action itself, but also as a word-concept (my term for it at the time, and my term for it now): not only was breathing the physical breathing, but also a word-concept. Introspection revealed that the word-concepts of all of these sensations roughly translated into a generic affirmation—what I took (take) to be an affirmation of the will to live, a conceptual linking of the words “this” and “yes,” making its own word-concept that was euphoric to behold and embrace.
T+2:00 – At what I deemed an appropriate time I inhaled the nitrous oxide (approximately 2 lungfuls). What followed is something that I afterwards best described as “being in a tube.” This experience is extremely difficult to even conceptualize, much less verbalize: attempts to explain to individuals around me (roommates, visitors) fell far far short of doing it justice, but I try again here:
I inhaled the nitrous and sat back in the lounge chair I was seated in (good thing I was seated, too, or I surely would have fell). Almost immediately I was overtaken by an extremely pervasive buzzing sensation, the buzzing was physical, visual, aural, and conceptual—it felt like the extreme numbness I've experienced at high levels of DXM (mid-third plateau range), the sound distortion I experience on nitrous, and the visual effects of the 4-ACO-MiPT combined to place me in a “tube.” The tube was visually similar to the visual one gets during a headrush (vision blurred over) but, as the name implies, tubular (allowing for a view of the ceiling at the very center) and out of the sides of the tube came the geometric patterning that I had already been experiencing from the MiPT. I had no thoughts during this except for a pervasive “oh my god” word-concept that seemed to sum up the sensation.
T+2:02 – I snap out of this tube state and look at the floor in front of me (where, I realize, there is a sound curiously like the buzzing one I experienced during the “tube state.”) There are the whipped cream cans spilling because they had partially frozen in the fridge—it took me a moment to reconcile the fact that this was an actual happening, not a hallucination (the liquefied whipped cream was bubbling, which was a hallucination).
Now I endeavor to explain an even more difficult concept that I experienced. While scrubbing the carpet clean (and this had happened before) each scrape on the rug produced a rather unique thought pattern. The sound was perceived as innumerable brief utterances from when I lived at home: “take out the dog;” a word-concept which somehow represented my father and grandfather; my father's outstretched hand, him tall in comparison to the “me” in the vision; one which represented my sister-father (my sister and father are very close); one which was perceived as (of all things) the sound and vision of the fireballs that jump in Super Mario World; a goldfish; a black, red and white oil paint rectangle, and many other sensations.
To clarify, I refer to each of these sensations (there were many more I cannot convey) as vision-word-concepts, in that they were a brief vision, a sound (though not any sound I have ever heard), and an emotion (emotions I have never felt before, and for which I can find no words). I believe it was a truly novel experience, making me feel almost like a newborn experiencing something for which I could not find words, or even words to describe words that might be used to describe the vision-word-concept.
--Timestamps become extremely vague from here--
T+?3:00 – though the nitrous has certainly gone from my system, it set the cast for the rest of the trip; sensations like the ones I have belabored above pervade. Between now and about an hour from now, I snort the rest of the 4-ACO-MiPT that I have (around 40mg, bringing the total to at least 70mg). For reference, erowid tentatively recommends 20mg as a strong dose.
The visuals I experienced were incredibly intense; I had to lie down, and open-eye visuals were very present. Vividly colored patterning, contracting and expanding of surroundings and other distinct visuals (the ceiling dripping and crackling, and things generally bending to my will). Closed-eye visuals were almost exclusively “organic” (no sharp edged) fractals in rainbow coloring as well.
Interesting mental notes follow.
At some point of high intoxication I decided to tell my roommate that I was moving to another room. I knew he would take this as an attack on himself, and in fact engineered my statement to enhance this perception. I think that this was an experiment; I wanted to see my reaction to a certain reaction, and had about a 30 minute argument with him (and my other roommate) in which I subtly and bluntly condemned things that irritated me about him; at one point I recall saying (and this did not strike me as nasty, but rather humorous) that gambling on a random roommate would almost certainly result in net benefit for me.
Odd for this class of drugs (and providing reflection material later), I experienced egoism instead of ego-loss—I felt like I was engineering the entire conversation, that I was somehow above and better than the people I was talking to (almost a God to them, though it shames me to say it now). I relished in executing what I perceived as perfectly crafted turns of phrase, laughing after every one to signify my expertise. I describe this in such detail because it was most unusual; I usually avoid condescension and try to think of myself as equal to every other person, and this unbridled egoism (justified or not) struck me as offensive nearly immediately after the exchange.
Also at some point during this high-dosage stage, I decided to try and write down an explanation of what I describe as a “word-concept” at the top of the report. Here follows the babble, for insight.
quote:
Every word has a sound with it, so like when I swallow or sniffle it has a word and I like experience the visual-tactile, a kind of combination of the two,
Effects continued in this vein, ebbing and flowing until approximately 2:00 AM when the mental and visuals dropped substantially, leaving me with a pleasurable body high and some closed eye patterning. At time of writing I am still above baseline, though major effects have dropped sufficiently to allow writing.
I would especially like to hear from other individuals who have experienced the "word-concept" which I define at the top and experience in detail at t+2:02, as well as the "tube" which occured at 2:00.
Investigation of some internet sources revealed this tidbit from "The Psychedelic Experience" that I feel roughly defines the "word-concept":
Quote:
"The Fire-Flow of Internal Unity" (CEV)
Another type taken from _Psych Exp_, this involves more of *feeling* something than *seeing* it, although there are undescribeable hallucinations accompanying the feelings. The distinct difference to the last one is that the visuals are not geometric and separate, but amorphous, dim shapes directly linked to the emotions one is experiencing, which can be positive (bliss, love, peace) or negative (isolation, withdrawal, sadness).
Thanks for reading!
I hope to see more posts by you in the future.