alwayzaquitter
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2015
- Messages
- 2
This is my first time posting here after lurking for a very long time. So please forgive me if this is the wrong forum or if I say the wrong thing. Just looking for answers from someone who may have experienced the same situation that I am currently going through.
First, some background on my usage before going to the Methadone Clinic. I've struggled with addiction since I was 11 or 12. I can remember taking whatever I could find in the cabinets then and just taking it. When I reached around 17 I started smoking MJ pretty heavily and never really stopped after that. Then I started experimenting with pills. Any controlled substance really by that point. I started using opiates on an every day basis around two years ago. I was mostly using 8-10 Norcos a day or any other kind of opiate that I could get my hands on at that time. It was a total money pit and I was working for nothing except to stay high. Which is why the Methadone Clinic seemed like an appropriate choice for me at the time. I realize I should have done more research and that 4 or 5 days of withdrawals from Norcos or Roxi would have beat the weeks that it looks like I may be experiencing. But it was an easy solution to a temporary problem, I suppose.
Anyway. When I started the clinic they started me on 30mls. Then, each day they would raise it by 5mls until I was around 75mls. I stabilized there for awhile and then after talking to my counselor she suggested that we go up to 80mls. Okay. I think I was there for about 2 weeks. I was hitting a horrible depression at the same time though. My husband hated everything about the clinic. We'd fight constantly and all I could say back was that opiates change the way the brain function and this is helping me from relapsing and keeping me from withdrawals. (And really saving us money.) We had a horrible fight one of the next nights and I downed a bottle of at least 50 Benadryl and ended up in the hospital. I had never done anything like that before and wouldn't again. I saw the pain in everyone's eyes while I was restrained to the bed because I would wake up and not have a clue where I was out and start pulling my IVs out. So that was that for my husband. This all occurred on a Saturday and Sunday, so Monday he went into the clinic with me and told my counselor that we have GOT to start tapering my dosage. That he was not going to be getting me pain pills anymore and he had gotten himself clean and would help me however possible. She raised my dosage to 90mls from 80mls. My husband was stunned. I could tell he just wanted out of there and that this had become something neither he nor I ever imagined. I stayed at the 90mls for at least 2 or 3 weeks, I suppose. Until last weekend when my husband just broke down and told me that he would leave me if I take another dose of it. That there was no reason for the habit that I had for me to be up that high and he couldn't sit back and watch me ruin my life anymore. We had tried to get her to lower it, but she just kept telling us that EVERYONE has to be on the program at least a year. So for my husband and my son, I didn't take my Sunday take home and I didn't return to the clinic at all last week.
So the withdrawals:
Day 1 (Sunday): Not so bad. I really didn't notice too much of a difference.
Day 2 (Monday, Work Day): I had to call in. There was no choice. I had been up all night with tremors in my arms and legs. Just that restless feeling all over me. I knew I couldn't sit at my desk like that all day.
Day 3 (Tuesday, Work Day): I went in early and explained everything to my boss. I flat out told her everything. (She already knew that I was going to the Clinic. I have a fairly open relationship with my boss fortunately.) She is very holistic and gave me a list of vitamins and herbs to try. I tried to make it through the day, but she let me leave at 12:00pm. That very afternoon I went and bought the vitamins she listed and some on the Thomas Recipe. I am lucky enough to have a script to Xanax, but I take it sparingly and only when the shakes get bad.
Day 4 ( Wednesday, Work Day): I honestly didn't think I would make it in, but I did go. I felt horrible. My stomach was a mess, my head hurt, I grinned my teeth, I tried not to let how bad my hands were shaking show, but eventually they did. When I had a private moment with my boss she asked how I felt and I told her horrible. Like ants were crawling all over me was the best way to describe it. It was the truth. She told me to take Thursday and Friday off. That way I would have the weekend too.
Day 5 & 6 (Thursday & Friday): Forcing myself to move around some. I also have an Adderall script and that gives me energy to move around in the after noon. But, like the Xanax I am using it sparingly. Saving for work really. These have been the worst days as a deep depression as sunk in. I cry at the stupidest things. I can't even get my 4 year old son ready for school. The stomach issues have finally set in. When I do dream, I dream about going back to the clinic. I wake up every two hours at the very least. I haven't eaten or drank much all week because my stomach just can't handle it.
Day 7 (Today, Saturday): It would be a lie to say that I don't feel somewhat better and have some more energy. I will list my vitamins below. I don't know how anyone could do this without some sort of comfort medication like Valium or Xanax. Anything to knock you out at night for at least a few hours. I can't live without sleep like I used to when I didn't have a full time job and son.
My question is, will my withdrawals be over faster because I was only on the Methadone for around 3 months? Or do I still have a whole month of this to look forward to? Please any advice would be appreciated at this point.
Medications:
L-Tyrosine in the morning around 2000 to 3000 with B6 to help with absorption
I let that sit on my stomach for an hour and then I eat a small bowl of granola cereal or a banana
Women's multivitamin Once a day in the morning
Magnesium with B6 to help with absorption (3 in morning and 3 before bed)
Extended release Potassium tablets (2 in the morning and 2 at night)
B-12 (1 in the morning and 1 mid day)
5HTP (1 in the morning and 1 before bed)
Melatonin 10mg before bed
And .5 Xanax to help at night if needed
Thank you for reading. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Much love and peace on all to all of you.
First, some background on my usage before going to the Methadone Clinic. I've struggled with addiction since I was 11 or 12. I can remember taking whatever I could find in the cabinets then and just taking it. When I reached around 17 I started smoking MJ pretty heavily and never really stopped after that. Then I started experimenting with pills. Any controlled substance really by that point. I started using opiates on an every day basis around two years ago. I was mostly using 8-10 Norcos a day or any other kind of opiate that I could get my hands on at that time. It was a total money pit and I was working for nothing except to stay high. Which is why the Methadone Clinic seemed like an appropriate choice for me at the time. I realize I should have done more research and that 4 or 5 days of withdrawals from Norcos or Roxi would have beat the weeks that it looks like I may be experiencing. But it was an easy solution to a temporary problem, I suppose.
Anyway. When I started the clinic they started me on 30mls. Then, each day they would raise it by 5mls until I was around 75mls. I stabilized there for awhile and then after talking to my counselor she suggested that we go up to 80mls. Okay. I think I was there for about 2 weeks. I was hitting a horrible depression at the same time though. My husband hated everything about the clinic. We'd fight constantly and all I could say back was that opiates change the way the brain function and this is helping me from relapsing and keeping me from withdrawals. (And really saving us money.) We had a horrible fight one of the next nights and I downed a bottle of at least 50 Benadryl and ended up in the hospital. I had never done anything like that before and wouldn't again. I saw the pain in everyone's eyes while I was restrained to the bed because I would wake up and not have a clue where I was out and start pulling my IVs out. So that was that for my husband. This all occurred on a Saturday and Sunday, so Monday he went into the clinic with me and told my counselor that we have GOT to start tapering my dosage. That he was not going to be getting me pain pills anymore and he had gotten himself clean and would help me however possible. She raised my dosage to 90mls from 80mls. My husband was stunned. I could tell he just wanted out of there and that this had become something neither he nor I ever imagined. I stayed at the 90mls for at least 2 or 3 weeks, I suppose. Until last weekend when my husband just broke down and told me that he would leave me if I take another dose of it. That there was no reason for the habit that I had for me to be up that high and he couldn't sit back and watch me ruin my life anymore. We had tried to get her to lower it, but she just kept telling us that EVERYONE has to be on the program at least a year. So for my husband and my son, I didn't take my Sunday take home and I didn't return to the clinic at all last week.
So the withdrawals:
Day 1 (Sunday): Not so bad. I really didn't notice too much of a difference.
Day 2 (Monday, Work Day): I had to call in. There was no choice. I had been up all night with tremors in my arms and legs. Just that restless feeling all over me. I knew I couldn't sit at my desk like that all day.
Day 3 (Tuesday, Work Day): I went in early and explained everything to my boss. I flat out told her everything. (She already knew that I was going to the Clinic. I have a fairly open relationship with my boss fortunately.) She is very holistic and gave me a list of vitamins and herbs to try. I tried to make it through the day, but she let me leave at 12:00pm. That very afternoon I went and bought the vitamins she listed and some on the Thomas Recipe. I am lucky enough to have a script to Xanax, but I take it sparingly and only when the shakes get bad.
Day 4 ( Wednesday, Work Day): I honestly didn't think I would make it in, but I did go. I felt horrible. My stomach was a mess, my head hurt, I grinned my teeth, I tried not to let how bad my hands were shaking show, but eventually they did. When I had a private moment with my boss she asked how I felt and I told her horrible. Like ants were crawling all over me was the best way to describe it. It was the truth. She told me to take Thursday and Friday off. That way I would have the weekend too.
Day 5 & 6 (Thursday & Friday): Forcing myself to move around some. I also have an Adderall script and that gives me energy to move around in the after noon. But, like the Xanax I am using it sparingly. Saving for work really. These have been the worst days as a deep depression as sunk in. I cry at the stupidest things. I can't even get my 4 year old son ready for school. The stomach issues have finally set in. When I do dream, I dream about going back to the clinic. I wake up every two hours at the very least. I haven't eaten or drank much all week because my stomach just can't handle it.
Day 7 (Today, Saturday): It would be a lie to say that I don't feel somewhat better and have some more energy. I will list my vitamins below. I don't know how anyone could do this without some sort of comfort medication like Valium or Xanax. Anything to knock you out at night for at least a few hours. I can't live without sleep like I used to when I didn't have a full time job and son.
My question is, will my withdrawals be over faster because I was only on the Methadone for around 3 months? Or do I still have a whole month of this to look forward to? Please any advice would be appreciated at this point.
Medications:
L-Tyrosine in the morning around 2000 to 3000 with B6 to help with absorption
I let that sit on my stomach for an hour and then I eat a small bowl of granola cereal or a banana
Women's multivitamin Once a day in the morning
Magnesium with B6 to help with absorption (3 in morning and 3 before bed)
Extended release Potassium tablets (2 in the morning and 2 at night)
B-12 (1 in the morning and 1 mid day)
5HTP (1 in the morning and 1 before bed)
Melatonin 10mg before bed
And .5 Xanax to help at night if needed
Thank you for reading. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Much love and peace on all to all of you.
