ebola?
Bluelight Crew
This is from a couple years back, so please excuse my memory's gaps.
The wider set: due to a prior bad trip, I could not "handle" my psychedelics at that point. My "bad trip" repeated (or its beginning stages did) the last two times that I did mushrooms, approximate 5 years prior. At that point, I found cannabis anxiogenic, paralleling said bad trip. Smoking up would preoccupy me with worry that time would stop, I would disappear, etc., with mild-effects in that direction. So I remained largely abstinent from psychedelics and cannabis, with beginning trepidation in each "experiment" with returning to psychs/weed.
Oddly enough, nitrous treated me fine, while being a bit trippy. Similarly, I did fine with MDMA, although I find it more clear-headed than trippy.
Sparing user of nicotine, but non-dependent, no history of dependence.
Regular user of alcohol, getting drunk (not really tipsy) most weekends, but not to the point of messiness (black-outs, regretted behavior, hangovers, etc.)
The immediate set: relaxed, making the most of my academic break, enthralled in good conversation and music. Just chilling with occasional philosophical forays. In my system: 1 mg, clonazapam (no tolerance) and enough beer to be a bit drunk (but not utterly pissed).
Setting: home on academic break, getting inebriated with a very good old friend from high-school/college years. Just us two, me and "C".
As the night wears on, we get to talking about C's semi-recent purchase of 5-meo dmt. "C" thinks that it feels a bit like an instant, intense LSD trip, permeated with confusion over spacial relationships, and severe apprehension ("oh shit, I've done it this time."). He even gets prominent fractal visuals.
I express interest, figuring that a short acting psychedelic would be a good idea to get back on the horse that threw me, as if it goes ugly, I'll have a few minutes of (time stretched, maybe eternal!) agony, not a few hours.
C loads the vapor-pipe with a small, eyeballed dose [very stupid! I could have accidentally had way too much.] Neither of us has much experience vaporizing pure chemicals, but we know the basic idea and techniques to avoid burning the substance, at least "on paper". C handles the heating, and all I have to do is inhale.
I try (mostly ineffectively) to relax, sit on a soft arm-chair, and put on "Bellshaw" by Download (trippy electronic, but not busy, dark, or abrasive). Background of clonazapam and booze is making me less anxious but not really relaxed.
With a bit of awkwardness in technique, and one failed inhale due to insufficient heating (and then 2 minutes wondering, "Is it gonna work?"), I take a decent hit. Odd taste...faint, chemically, like burnt plastic. The smoke is not harsh. I hold it in for a few seconds, and an odd body-high manifests. Maybe a rushing pulsing in limbs and neck. Some similarities with MDMA, but very much of its own character. I exhale, but sooner than I could've, as I was still bit apprehensive about the effects. Marked increase in pulse, but not like some of the horror stories I've seen. Over the next half minute (subjective), it climbs to full-intensity.
So what's it like? Visuals are minimal. It's more waviness than any sort of psychedelic visuals...a distinct lack of patterns. Music sounds more expansive, engrossing. My thoughts are NOT racing, as psychedelics usually make them do for me. They're really a bit sloppy, but more expansive, enveloping subordinate and adjacent concepts. Abstraction is automatic. I feel tinges of ego-blurring (a bit of me blurs with the couch), but it is mostly comfortable (just a bit disconcerting), unlike my prior inductions into ego-loss, which induced the terror of death.
But these are not the core effect. What is? A profound, yet ineffable qualitative shift in all experience. Everything is just the same as it was, yet everything is just entirely different. It a new window on the world. All attempts at describing how things are different fail, even when I try to describe it to myself. With a tiny background fear that things may yet intensify and get out of control, I am happy with where I've shifted to, enveloped by an odd combination, mostly letting myself flow with it rather than control the experience, but also permeated by awe.
After 1 subjective minute (5 clock-measured minutes), it has mostly subsided.
I am then struck with inexplicable exuberance. I am euphoric, in a way that is a bit similar to an MDMA plateau (no, DON'T smoke this at a rave...
). I can't say much more than, "Holy shit! That was amazing...the shift was profound!" After roughly 5 minutes (subjective...not watching the clock), I am pretty much at baseline, but with an afterglow of, "oooh, that was wild!" overpowering the drunkenness. My friend and I chat for a few minutes, mostly about how wild the drug is. I am also joyed to have had a psychedelic experience that went positively, my first in several years. I decide to go out for a smoke (some of a cigar). The nicotine gives me a solid buzz, but it seems pointless and dirty compared to where I just was. I then wonder if I should just go sober, except for the occasional drug foray that I can actually learn from (ie, careful use of psychedelics).
The night wears on, and the set and setting gradually come to approximate where I was before vaporizing the 5meo, but not quite.
In retrospect, I'm pretty sure that this was an undershoot (or a good low tester dose). No immediate ego-smash. No all-encompassing craziness.
Unfortunately, after his next foray with 5-meo-dmt, C got scared of the substance (instant adrenal response when looking at the baggie that contains it) and flushed his (modest) supply. He probably had something like 4 uses total.
I can say now, though, that I think that this drug is under-rated.
ebola
The wider set: due to a prior bad trip, I could not "handle" my psychedelics at that point. My "bad trip" repeated (or its beginning stages did) the last two times that I did mushrooms, approximate 5 years prior. At that point, I found cannabis anxiogenic, paralleling said bad trip. Smoking up would preoccupy me with worry that time would stop, I would disappear, etc., with mild-effects in that direction. So I remained largely abstinent from psychedelics and cannabis, with beginning trepidation in each "experiment" with returning to psychs/weed.
Oddly enough, nitrous treated me fine, while being a bit trippy. Similarly, I did fine with MDMA, although I find it more clear-headed than trippy.
Sparing user of nicotine, but non-dependent, no history of dependence.
Regular user of alcohol, getting drunk (not really tipsy) most weekends, but not to the point of messiness (black-outs, regretted behavior, hangovers, etc.)
The immediate set: relaxed, making the most of my academic break, enthralled in good conversation and music. Just chilling with occasional philosophical forays. In my system: 1 mg, clonazapam (no tolerance) and enough beer to be a bit drunk (but not utterly pissed).
Setting: home on academic break, getting inebriated with a very good old friend from high-school/college years. Just us two, me and "C".
As the night wears on, we get to talking about C's semi-recent purchase of 5-meo dmt. "C" thinks that it feels a bit like an instant, intense LSD trip, permeated with confusion over spacial relationships, and severe apprehension ("oh shit, I've done it this time."). He even gets prominent fractal visuals.
I express interest, figuring that a short acting psychedelic would be a good idea to get back on the horse that threw me, as if it goes ugly, I'll have a few minutes of (time stretched, maybe eternal!) agony, not a few hours.
C loads the vapor-pipe with a small, eyeballed dose [very stupid! I could have accidentally had way too much.] Neither of us has much experience vaporizing pure chemicals, but we know the basic idea and techniques to avoid burning the substance, at least "on paper". C handles the heating, and all I have to do is inhale.
I try (mostly ineffectively) to relax, sit on a soft arm-chair, and put on "Bellshaw" by Download (trippy electronic, but not busy, dark, or abrasive). Background of clonazapam and booze is making me less anxious but not really relaxed.
With a bit of awkwardness in technique, and one failed inhale due to insufficient heating (and then 2 minutes wondering, "Is it gonna work?"), I take a decent hit. Odd taste...faint, chemically, like burnt plastic. The smoke is not harsh. I hold it in for a few seconds, and an odd body-high manifests. Maybe a rushing pulsing in limbs and neck. Some similarities with MDMA, but very much of its own character. I exhale, but sooner than I could've, as I was still bit apprehensive about the effects. Marked increase in pulse, but not like some of the horror stories I've seen. Over the next half minute (subjective), it climbs to full-intensity.
So what's it like? Visuals are minimal. It's more waviness than any sort of psychedelic visuals...a distinct lack of patterns. Music sounds more expansive, engrossing. My thoughts are NOT racing, as psychedelics usually make them do for me. They're really a bit sloppy, but more expansive, enveloping subordinate and adjacent concepts. Abstraction is automatic. I feel tinges of ego-blurring (a bit of me blurs with the couch), but it is mostly comfortable (just a bit disconcerting), unlike my prior inductions into ego-loss, which induced the terror of death.
But these are not the core effect. What is? A profound, yet ineffable qualitative shift in all experience. Everything is just the same as it was, yet everything is just entirely different. It a new window on the world. All attempts at describing how things are different fail, even when I try to describe it to myself. With a tiny background fear that things may yet intensify and get out of control, I am happy with where I've shifted to, enveloped by an odd combination, mostly letting myself flow with it rather than control the experience, but also permeated by awe.
After 1 subjective minute (5 clock-measured minutes), it has mostly subsided.
I am then struck with inexplicable exuberance. I am euphoric, in a way that is a bit similar to an MDMA plateau (no, DON'T smoke this at a rave...
). I can't say much more than, "Holy shit! That was amazing...the shift was profound!" After roughly 5 minutes (subjective...not watching the clock), I am pretty much at baseline, but with an afterglow of, "oooh, that was wild!" overpowering the drunkenness. My friend and I chat for a few minutes, mostly about how wild the drug is. I am also joyed to have had a psychedelic experience that went positively, my first in several years. I decide to go out for a smoke (some of a cigar). The nicotine gives me a solid buzz, but it seems pointless and dirty compared to where I just was. I then wonder if I should just go sober, except for the occasional drug foray that I can actually learn from (ie, careful use of psychedelics).The night wears on, and the set and setting gradually come to approximate where I was before vaporizing the 5meo, but not quite.
In retrospect, I'm pretty sure that this was an undershoot (or a good low tester dose). No immediate ego-smash. No all-encompassing craziness.
Unfortunately, after his next foray with 5-meo-dmt, C got scared of the substance (instant adrenal response when looking at the baggie that contains it) and flushed his (modest) supply. He probably had something like 4 uses total.
I can say now, though, that I think that this drug is under-rated.
ebola
