I translated this today from Swedish. Please comment on the language as well, as I'm interested if it has a nice flow to it and is easy to read and understand, as I'm not used to translating. I might translate some more trip reports some other time, but now: on to the report!
****
[Edit]
Set and setting: Good and happy
Previous drug experience: Alcohol, LSD (3 times), Mushrooms (3), Amphetamine (2)
[End edit]
Me, N, P, B and A had gathered at B's place to try 5-MeO-DMT. It
was the first time using that substance for all of us. As we couldn't
get hold of a proper scale, we did something that most people urge you
not to do with such potent chemicals as 5-MeO-DMT - we eyballed.
Out of a dose of _approximately_ (the guy we bought from, N's acquaintance,
had eyballed out 200mg out of a gram) 200mg we made two lines, and then
cut one of the lines into ten, so we now had ten doses.
I figure that each dose should've been around 5 to 15 miligrams, but it
is possible that it was more, although I don't think so. Anyway, after
being foolish and dangerous, we were ready to start our session with this
drug (or tool for inner exploration).
To get a feeling for the chemical and the dosage, I started out by
insufflating a line. A went out hard right away and smoked it, and as
soon as he exhaled the smoke (we smoked on foil), he was enveloped in
his own world. I did feel quite a bit of time dilation, and a slight
change of awareness and thought patterns, though really it wasn't
anything special. All along I could function normally and have a normal
conversation.
P and N were next to try, both wanted to smoke, so they did. N did not
inhale enough smoke, as he never has smoked cigarettes and isn't used
to the process of pulling smoke into his lungs, so he did get a very
mild trip and was also able to function normally all along.
P on the other hand.. he was far gone. As soon as the smoke left his
mouth, he started shaking violently, grasping his head and looking
extremely terrified. Sometimes also he'd turn around and look behind him
in spazmic, violent moves. We were getting quite scared at this behaviour,
though we figured he wasn't in risk of injuring himself and that he would
ride it out.
After a few (five?) minutes P lies down. If you've seen the movie Boiler
Room, the qoute "Look at my smile, baby! Ear-to-Ear!" was so true to P.
He was laughing, overwhelmed, joyful, although he did not remember anything
of the bad parts of his ride. He was very surprised when we told him how
he had looked to us while tripping.
A while after this it was my turn to try my luck with smoking. Before I
went I said this sarcastic remark, "my turn to die now boys!". Little did
I know how close to the truth this would be. Anyways, as soon as I felt
the smoke rising up the foil, I inhaled long and deep. Although I knew
it beforehand and had just witnessed it, that I would be plummeted into
another world within seconds, it was impossible to prepare for it. It just
hit me and I was gone.
What I remember from this world is exhaling the smoke. After this my vision
spins, it's hard to describe but I'll try. If you imagine a quadratical painting
(my field of vision), and then imagine it in less then a second twisting to a round
into a round plate, which becoms three-dimensional like a round tunnel,
that either (can't remember) sucks you in or collapses on you. I remember
laying down on my side on the bed.
Boom. All descriptions you read about smoked 5-MeO-DMT being compared to
being shot out of a cannon are true. In a matter of seconds, I was deep
within myself. I was overwhelmed by fear of death, anxiety and panic. Imagine
all your collected fears, phobias and all the anxiety you've ever had. Imagine
then being catapulted into this state of mind in ten seconds. Imagine while
being in this state to have no control of yourself and no contact with the
outer world.
In the end you cannot run from yourself anyway, and with 5-MeO-DMT you
are sure to not go anywhere. You're trapped inside yourself for the duration
of the trip. You cannot control it, at least I couldn't. No benzos in the world
will get you out of this, as it is all within you, the only one that can
get you out is you yourself.
I was convinced that I would die. I didn't want to die, so this added
to my anxiety and panic. For a few seconds I had a very brief contact
with reality. I heard someone say, "Look at his legs shaking". I felt
myself sweat to pieces, my body felt alien to me, and then i zoned out
again. I was dead.
All of a sudden, an eternity later - a moment later, I feel overwhelmed
by these enormous feelings of joy. I open my eyes (or so it felt - they
were open the entire trip), and see my friends looking at me, and I begin
to slowly zone back into what we call reality.
I'm alive, I've been reborn! Like a small child i kick my legs and just
kick back and look at all the wonderful tracers, at how beautiful everything
is. The 5-10 minutes following my "awakening" were just miraculous. Words
are far from enough to describe the feelings of a 5-MeO-DMT trip.
I'd say that this feeling is quite unique. It's not a drug-fueled euphoria
(like speed), it's not a feeling of love - not directly at least, it's
not a feeling of the oneness with everything that other psychedelics produce.
It was pure and clean joy, of a kind that I've never felt before.
Finally, the retrospective part. I wouldn't call this a bad trip, not
at all. I did expect not to be in control (a very frightening thing to
expect), and I most definately don't regret the way it turned out. I got
to experience something unique - feelings of sorrow, panic, anxiety and the
like that I hope never to experience again - a void emptiness inside of me
totally unlike apathy, my own death and my rebirth. It was unique, mind-blowing.
Words will never do his experience justice.
Today I'm feeling normal, a little bit more introspective than usual, but
that is common with me after a psychedelic experience. I had no trouble
getting some papers and photos for my job, talking to my soon-to-be boss and
walking across town. I don't feel myself effected in any negative way.
And, finally (for real this time), would I take this drug again? Possibly.
The experience I had was so unique that I feel that this experiment is
worth repeating in due time, despite the mental terror associated with it.
Of course, for next time I'd like to have a miligram-scale and a pipe,
so we don't have to smoke off of foil and know our dosages. I don't regret
for a second that I went through this experience or how it turned out.
It was so worth it.
Right now I feel as though if you, as a human being, were to take one drug
only one time in your life, it would be 5-Me0-DMT. Granted, I've not tried
many enough drugs to make that statement.
And, a big thanks to all those present in sharing the experiences last night.
[ 13 September 2002: Message edited by: parre ]
[ 13 September 2002: Message edited by: parre ]
****
[Edit]
Set and setting: Good and happy
Previous drug experience: Alcohol, LSD (3 times), Mushrooms (3), Amphetamine (2)
[End edit]
Me, N, P, B and A had gathered at B's place to try 5-MeO-DMT. It
was the first time using that substance for all of us. As we couldn't
get hold of a proper scale, we did something that most people urge you
not to do with such potent chemicals as 5-MeO-DMT - we eyballed.
Out of a dose of _approximately_ (the guy we bought from, N's acquaintance,
had eyballed out 200mg out of a gram) 200mg we made two lines, and then
cut one of the lines into ten, so we now had ten doses.
I figure that each dose should've been around 5 to 15 miligrams, but it
is possible that it was more, although I don't think so. Anyway, after
being foolish and dangerous, we were ready to start our session with this
drug (or tool for inner exploration).
To get a feeling for the chemical and the dosage, I started out by
insufflating a line. A went out hard right away and smoked it, and as
soon as he exhaled the smoke (we smoked on foil), he was enveloped in
his own world. I did feel quite a bit of time dilation, and a slight
change of awareness and thought patterns, though really it wasn't
anything special. All along I could function normally and have a normal
conversation.
P and N were next to try, both wanted to smoke, so they did. N did not
inhale enough smoke, as he never has smoked cigarettes and isn't used
to the process of pulling smoke into his lungs, so he did get a very
mild trip and was also able to function normally all along.
P on the other hand.. he was far gone. As soon as the smoke left his
mouth, he started shaking violently, grasping his head and looking
extremely terrified. Sometimes also he'd turn around and look behind him
in spazmic, violent moves. We were getting quite scared at this behaviour,
though we figured he wasn't in risk of injuring himself and that he would
ride it out.
After a few (five?) minutes P lies down. If you've seen the movie Boiler
Room, the qoute "Look at my smile, baby! Ear-to-Ear!" was so true to P.
He was laughing, overwhelmed, joyful, although he did not remember anything
of the bad parts of his ride. He was very surprised when we told him how
he had looked to us while tripping.
A while after this it was my turn to try my luck with smoking. Before I
went I said this sarcastic remark, "my turn to die now boys!". Little did
I know how close to the truth this would be. Anyways, as soon as I felt
the smoke rising up the foil, I inhaled long and deep. Although I knew
it beforehand and had just witnessed it, that I would be plummeted into
another world within seconds, it was impossible to prepare for it. It just
hit me and I was gone.
What I remember from this world is exhaling the smoke. After this my vision
spins, it's hard to describe but I'll try. If you imagine a quadratical painting
(my field of vision), and then imagine it in less then a second twisting to a round
into a round plate, which becoms three-dimensional like a round tunnel,
that either (can't remember) sucks you in or collapses on you. I remember
laying down on my side on the bed.
Boom. All descriptions you read about smoked 5-MeO-DMT being compared to
being shot out of a cannon are true. In a matter of seconds, I was deep
within myself. I was overwhelmed by fear of death, anxiety and panic. Imagine
all your collected fears, phobias and all the anxiety you've ever had. Imagine
then being catapulted into this state of mind in ten seconds. Imagine while
being in this state to have no control of yourself and no contact with the
outer world.
In the end you cannot run from yourself anyway, and with 5-MeO-DMT you
are sure to not go anywhere. You're trapped inside yourself for the duration
of the trip. You cannot control it, at least I couldn't. No benzos in the world
will get you out of this, as it is all within you, the only one that can
get you out is you yourself.
I was convinced that I would die. I didn't want to die, so this added
to my anxiety and panic. For a few seconds I had a very brief contact
with reality. I heard someone say, "Look at his legs shaking". I felt
myself sweat to pieces, my body felt alien to me, and then i zoned out
again. I was dead.
All of a sudden, an eternity later - a moment later, I feel overwhelmed
by these enormous feelings of joy. I open my eyes (or so it felt - they
were open the entire trip), and see my friends looking at me, and I begin
to slowly zone back into what we call reality.
I'm alive, I've been reborn! Like a small child i kick my legs and just
kick back and look at all the wonderful tracers, at how beautiful everything
is. The 5-10 minutes following my "awakening" were just miraculous. Words
are far from enough to describe the feelings of a 5-MeO-DMT trip.
I'd say that this feeling is quite unique. It's not a drug-fueled euphoria
(like speed), it's not a feeling of love - not directly at least, it's
not a feeling of the oneness with everything that other psychedelics produce.
It was pure and clean joy, of a kind that I've never felt before.
Finally, the retrospective part. I wouldn't call this a bad trip, not
at all. I did expect not to be in control (a very frightening thing to
expect), and I most definately don't regret the way it turned out. I got
to experience something unique - feelings of sorrow, panic, anxiety and the
like that I hope never to experience again - a void emptiness inside of me
totally unlike apathy, my own death and my rebirth. It was unique, mind-blowing.
Words will never do his experience justice.
Today I'm feeling normal, a little bit more introspective than usual, but
that is common with me after a psychedelic experience. I had no trouble
getting some papers and photos for my job, talking to my soon-to-be boss and
walking across town. I don't feel myself effected in any negative way.
And, finally (for real this time), would I take this drug again? Possibly.
The experience I had was so unique that I feel that this experiment is
worth repeating in due time, despite the mental terror associated with it.
Of course, for next time I'd like to have a miligram-scale and a pipe,
so we don't have to smoke off of foil and know our dosages. I don't regret
for a second that I went through this experience or how it turned out.
It was so worth it.
Right now I feel as though if you, as a human being, were to take one drug
only one time in your life, it would be 5-Me0-DMT. Granted, I've not tried
many enough drugs to make that statement.
And, a big thanks to all those present in sharing the experiences last night.
[ 13 September 2002: Message edited by: parre ]
[ 13 September 2002: Message edited by: parre ]
