Here is my story of the most Freighting Yet satisfying Experience I (or most people alive) ever had, I have much to write about and in great detail and length:
I am a 22 years old male, my previous and only experience with psychedelics was with 170ug of n25-ibome which was very enjoyable but not enlightening. This was not the case this time.
I arrive at my cousins house late Friday morning, We'll call him N, excited to try this new substance (4ACO-DMT) which is supposed to be way more powerful than the n25-ibome I have tried before, I wanted to have more than just fun but also to learn something new about myself. He will act as the babysitter while I am high, He had 3 pills of the substance, 20mg,20mg and 40mg. he recommended that I will take the 40Mg pill and if I want to, later on I will take another hit of 20mg to extend and\or intensify the trip.
Now I should mention I am an atheist, very pessimistic and believe in pretty much nothing, I believe life has no meaning and therefore am prone for depression, however this experience changed me. I took the 40Mg pill at around 1PM and sat down with my cousin waiting for it to start; I was in a good mood and in a safe place it is a small house with the only door being the entrance so I was always near him. after about 15 minutes N wanted us to go to his mother's house to take food so we'll have something to eat later at night, I didn't want to get outside but eventually agreed, the walk was long, approximately 20 minutes but the substance started to kick and it felt like a marathon, eventually we arrived, he got the food he came for and called a taxi as he knew I wasn't enjoying myself, I felt people staring at me and was suffering a light paranoia effect.
We arrive at the house at around T+1, I was delighted, I dropped upon the bed and enjoyed the beautiful visuals, the color was enhanced, sound was just beautiful, N started playing the guitar which made me feel as if I am next to a rock legend, and everything was just beautiful.
As I thought I was peaking I felt tingling sensation all over my body, Closed eye visuals and patterns were beautiful. A feeling of non-sexual orgasms just washed all over me, complete euphoria - sometimes feeling as if it is Too much, I was screaming from joy, I was just in the perfect place. I Thought this was the peak (and I was horribly wrong) I decided I wanted to reach higher, and even extend my trip, so I took the second pill of 20mg at around T+4.5hours (5:30 PM).
I went to lie in bed, from what my cousin told me I was just lying in bed for about 3 Hours with my eyes open wide. But from my point of view that is not what happened, I never spent more than 10 seconds in that bed before getting up again and walking around.
My out of body experience began, and I was unaware of it, for me, I just kept being Semi-High and walking around the room enjoying myself. After a while I noticed things are repeating themselves, I Kept getting up from bed, asking my cousin what time is it, He answered 7PM, I said is everything ok? He said yes everything is fine (All of this never happened in reality I remind you.). I went back to bed to lie down, moved up and walked around the room, asking him again: "what time is it?" - "14" He replied.
Ok I thought, I was still enjoying myself but somehow feeling uneasy. I would keep going to bed or walk around the room, every time I would step out of bed I would see N in the same position on the computer chair, I would ask him what time is it and he would say a different answer,"4,7 ,14,16, 380" I would ask what day it is and he would say "Thursday", I said: "no that can't be, today is Friday, how can it be Thursday" – "A week passed, its next Thursday" he replied.
This loop of asking what time/day it is kept repeating a dozen times, I would get different answers and it would intensify the loop, reaching near the feeling of insanity, at one point he told me this: "Stop asking what time it is, can't you see the answer is different but has no meaning? 2,5,7,11,14,25 what does it matter? there is no such thing as time! So just stop asking." "When will this be over I asked?" - "It'll never be over, Can't you see? You're stuck in a loop, it won't ever end". "No" I replied, "this is just a bad trip, it will be over soon". "Why do you think so?" he said. "I know so" I said. He replied "you do? How come you know it will be over?" I know everything I told him. "You know nothing" he replied. I said "I am in control" thinking it will give me control of the trip and end this viscous and endless loop. "You are never in control, Can't u see that?"
This is when the loop became endless, time had no meaning, this loop repeated for around 50 or more times, it felt like half a day, and it got worse, how worse? This felt like Reality, I could notice Every tiny detail, This person I was speaking to, who looked and acted exactly like my cousin was Moving, Making sound, Breathing, everything, I was sure I was talking to him and was just delusional, but I wasn't, I was in bed this whole time.
After a while he would just tell me, Accept it, it will never be over, you're stuck in a loop, some people get stuck, it's ok. "No" I replied, "I will get out". And then the terror started: "you can't get out, you are dead, and don't you understand? This is how it is now, it won't ever end, you died." -"How can it be, I am not dead this stuff can't kill me". - "You took too much, after you took the second pill you just passed out and died, You are lying in bed, and I am lying next to you Dead also." "How come you are dead? You never took anything" - "I took some after you, this is the only reason you can see me and communicate with me"
I didn't believe I was dead, and was sure this was all just my sanity driving out of control, I kept fighting his words, No, I am alive! I AM alive! My name is X and I am Y years old, I am alive this is just a bad trip!, I tried everything to cling on to my Ego and reality. However the loop was endless, it went on for what felt like many many hours, My cousin would keep convincing me I am dead, He told me: "You're not X, Who is he? You're Steve, Where do you think you are?" - "In my cousin's house".
"No you are not, you're not there, you're in a different world". "You are H, you lived 100 years ago, and you are P you lived 50 years ago, don't you remember?, you are many people" "No" I shouted, I am X, I live at Z. No you are not; you are nothing and everything, no one and everyone. He told me to let go, accept it, Embrace it, that everything will be better once I do, That I am in a different world now, a world of souls, of ghosts, a different place, so what if I died, it doesn't matter anymore, it never did and never will. "Do you understand?" he said. Finally I said "Yes, I understand". "I don't think so, not yet you don't, once you do everything will be better" he replied.
"Don't you feel so much better without the load of your body?" He said, "See how light you are, you can move around so much easily without your body". (The whole experience I felt as if I was just in my own body but a bit high, nothing that will make me suspect this is all an illusion).
Eventually it became too much, I had accepted that I truly did die from an overdose and had nothing to do about it, I felt so helpless and sad, everyone I knew would be ashamed. N would then comfort me; he said "What's the difference? 22 years old, 52? it doesn't matter when you die, once you die everything means nothing, you change nothing and everyone you know also changed nothing, they die too eventually like everyone else and no one remembers you or them anyway, accept it, it's not that bad, after 2-3 weeks you will get over it and realize how infinite this new world is, you can do whatever you want here."
After starting to believe I truly am dead which took what felt like hours of an endless loop of my conscience (N) trying to convince me I was dead, and succeeding, I Began asking questions:
""But what about my family? We had a trip planned" - "They'll go without you, what do you think, you already payed for it" he said all giggly. "Will they have fun?" "Yes of course, They will be a little sad without you but they will get over it" he replied, giggling a little over how unimportant that should be to me and basically enjoying my shock a little, as if he has been dead for a very long time and is just enjoying this "new" soul he can guide and explain to, this entity was sarcastic and laughed allot, just like my real life cousin.
As I was lying on the floor he said: "Hey, You should be happy, now you know there is something after death, see? And at least you're not alone, you have me".
"So what are we waiting for?" - "For the judge"
"What judge?" - "He will judge you for the wrongs you have done"
"What wrongs have I done?" - "everyone does something wrong, didn't you do anything wrong?"
"What wrongs have you done?" I asked, - "That's between me and him, only he can judge me"
He replied. "When will he judge me?" –" "I don't know" he answered
"So how long do we wait?" – "There is no such thing as time, I told you, it can be 1 hour, 4 years, it doesn't matter, we are waiting for him, eventually he will judge us and we can move on to another place, right now we are stuck, we are ghosts just waiting, all of us waiting".
"So what is this? Is it Christianity? Judaism?"- "None of these, It's just the Truth"
"Accept it, Embrace it" he said. "Don’t you feel it?"
"Feel what?" I asked
"You are just pure energy, a soul, you can do whatever you want here, Embrace death, enjoy it, you have no obligations here, You can do whatever you want, Picture a beautiful woman and sleep with her if you want, anything."
I had thought about all my life, I accepted my death and felt great sadness for not accomplishing more, but after that, that truly Horrible feeling, I felt relief. My relief expanded into a great and unexplainable calm, I was OK that I died, I was happy, pure. I felt as if it had no meaning that I died now, or later. I now can finally learn and understand everything.
"You can't be my cousin, he would never speak like this or know these things, who am I talking to, and who are YOU talking to?" (I tried to see if he will call me by my name) "I am talking to a ghost, you are not here" he replied. "So who am I talking to?" I asked. "Yourself, I am your sub-conscience".
"So what now?" I asked. "Now, Nothing, You can do whatever you want" he replied
"Any recommendations?" I asked
"Go lie in bed" he said
I went to bed, he then said: "Try to sleep, close your eyes, HARD, You died, but now you will be reborn, try to sleep and return to your body."
I tried as hard as I can to close my eyes and sleep, my feeling didn't change but HE, my sub-conscience did.
I got up from bed and talked to him again, Am I OK? Am I alive? "That I don't know, Most get stuck, and you probably won't get out". He replied
"I can see you are trying to speak, SPEAK I can't hear you, I see you are moving your lips but no sound is coming out" I heard in the distance my cousin's voice. I kept screaming trying to talk, and did talk, to my sub-conscience/ego. At this point I thought my cousin was talking to my body in the real world and I just couldn't respond but kept trying, this was also an illusion (he never went to my body and said anything he figured I was partly sleeping). He then said "I can hear your heart beating, but I can't feel you breathing" I asked N, my sub-conscience what is happening, he replied: "You passed out; you're passed out on the bed". "When will I wake up?"I asked -"3-4 hours, just relax"
I went to sit next to him in his chair (This also happened in reality, I got up and sat next to him for 30minutes with my eyes open and never said a word) apparently I had illusions that I then had discussions with him and also a Friend, The first friend came as I was standing, I asked him if I was OK and he said: "yes, you're standing and don't you feel just fine?"
Then came another friend, (in reality a friend of my cousin arrived and they were both looking at me and talking, smoking a joint) I discussed with this other friend. I understood everything was an illusion and that I was just in a really bad trip and was now back to reality (I was tripping that my trip had ended), I didn't understand and was confused and was yet to fully realize what I just went through.
The second friend asked me how was it; I said it was too much. "Will you do it again?" no way I said. "Everyone says so after they finish their trip" he said (Again this conversation never happened).
I wanted to convince myself this was reality as I was very confused so I asked him about his tattoo (knowledge I can't actually have without him answering me) and he explained (this also never happened, but I guess I saw his tattoo with my eyes opened and it integrated to my trip, along with everything else that happened in the room during the time I was out, all of it integrated inside my trip and I heard EVERYTHING.)
At this point I was thinking that the whole Death part was my Real life cousin feeding me bad vibes and telling the "high" me I am dead as a cruel joke, at some point even saying I will thank him when it is over. this never happened in reality. But during most of my trip I was hoping he is just messing with me, until the loop repeated so much I actually believed I had died.
Then came a third friend (There was only one I imagined 3 different people coming 1 by 1 in GREAT detail, They were real for me, All of them, Possibly people I remember in my sub-conscience.) I asked this guy "Am I alive" and he said "Yeah bro you're alive" laughing at my weird question, possibly wondering what I have been through in my trip (when in fact he never existed)
He then left, I talked to my cousin, This was the first time I actually did talk according to him, I again said: "Am i conscience?" -"Yes" What time is it? "9PM" (T+8) (Thank god finally a different answer, I have asked what time it is for over 100 times that day.) Am i alive?!!? Please tell me I am alive. "You are alive, what happened? You took another one, you remember you took the second pill right? You might go back in again"
I proceed to explain everything, after a while realizing new things, Like I never did come out of my trip and had discussions with 3 of his friends; I just sat there staring while he and a friend talked. Which was very weird because the answers given by his friends were all very logical and true in my illusionary world, I asked the American friend if he studied anything and he said no, I could not have known that, I asked him how long he has been in our country he said 4 years, and even more questions, to all the answers were correct in real-life too. (Expect me asking my illusionery cousin what are his 2 cats names, he replied in a sarcastic manner calling them both a funny common cat names)
I was so happy to be alive, I cried of happiness realizing I will get to see the people I love once again and create new experiences.
I realize in retrospect that I had come near "Ego -death" and my sub-conscience was trying to make me leave my identity behind, I fought it because it was terrifying to be a "no one" or "nothing" with no meaning what so ever.
I had the opportunity to ask important questions and come to a realization that my Sub-conscience Believes there is a god; he refers to it as "The Judge". That time has no meaning and is just a pointless illusion. That there is no religion, only the "truth". That we are all just energy, "souls", "Ghosts", everything is energy and we are a part of everything.
I feel as if I had discussed in great length with my own "Ego" or "Soul". It tried to show me what it's like; it was like a whole different entity with ideas and opinions of its own. And its intentions clear, convince me of death so I will no longer be afraid, teach me the importance of life and make me appreciate the life I have. I myself as I said am an atheist, I never even read anyone referencing god a "the judge". The whole experience was just breathtaking in retrospect and I feel different. I still believe in the same things as before, but I think the entity I talked to, that took the form of my cousin which was the nearest person around, was just showing me what it believes in, and what it feels and knows.
The trip might have been 3 hours or so, but felt like eternity at some points. I could write 4 times as much as a I did, so much more I experienced, but you get the point.
I would defiantly recommend trying this; however 60mg for a first time is overwhelming and not suitable for people with weak mentality. I never experienced such fear and just pure horror, but also pure happiness and acceptance.
I am a 22 years old male, my previous and only experience with psychedelics was with 170ug of n25-ibome which was very enjoyable but not enlightening. This was not the case this time.
I arrive at my cousins house late Friday morning, We'll call him N, excited to try this new substance (4ACO-DMT) which is supposed to be way more powerful than the n25-ibome I have tried before, I wanted to have more than just fun but also to learn something new about myself. He will act as the babysitter while I am high, He had 3 pills of the substance, 20mg,20mg and 40mg. he recommended that I will take the 40Mg pill and if I want to, later on I will take another hit of 20mg to extend and\or intensify the trip.
Now I should mention I am an atheist, very pessimistic and believe in pretty much nothing, I believe life has no meaning and therefore am prone for depression, however this experience changed me. I took the 40Mg pill at around 1PM and sat down with my cousin waiting for it to start; I was in a good mood and in a safe place it is a small house with the only door being the entrance so I was always near him. after about 15 minutes N wanted us to go to his mother's house to take food so we'll have something to eat later at night, I didn't want to get outside but eventually agreed, the walk was long, approximately 20 minutes but the substance started to kick and it felt like a marathon, eventually we arrived, he got the food he came for and called a taxi as he knew I wasn't enjoying myself, I felt people staring at me and was suffering a light paranoia effect.
We arrive at the house at around T+1, I was delighted, I dropped upon the bed and enjoyed the beautiful visuals, the color was enhanced, sound was just beautiful, N started playing the guitar which made me feel as if I am next to a rock legend, and everything was just beautiful.
As I thought I was peaking I felt tingling sensation all over my body, Closed eye visuals and patterns were beautiful. A feeling of non-sexual orgasms just washed all over me, complete euphoria - sometimes feeling as if it is Too much, I was screaming from joy, I was just in the perfect place. I Thought this was the peak (and I was horribly wrong) I decided I wanted to reach higher, and even extend my trip, so I took the second pill of 20mg at around T+4.5hours (5:30 PM).
I went to lie in bed, from what my cousin told me I was just lying in bed for about 3 Hours with my eyes open wide. But from my point of view that is not what happened, I never spent more than 10 seconds in that bed before getting up again and walking around.
My out of body experience began, and I was unaware of it, for me, I just kept being Semi-High and walking around the room enjoying myself. After a while I noticed things are repeating themselves, I Kept getting up from bed, asking my cousin what time is it, He answered 7PM, I said is everything ok? He said yes everything is fine (All of this never happened in reality I remind you.). I went back to bed to lie down, moved up and walked around the room, asking him again: "what time is it?" - "14" He replied.
Ok I thought, I was still enjoying myself but somehow feeling uneasy. I would keep going to bed or walk around the room, every time I would step out of bed I would see N in the same position on the computer chair, I would ask him what time is it and he would say a different answer,"4,7 ,14,16, 380" I would ask what day it is and he would say "Thursday", I said: "no that can't be, today is Friday, how can it be Thursday" – "A week passed, its next Thursday" he replied.
This loop of asking what time/day it is kept repeating a dozen times, I would get different answers and it would intensify the loop, reaching near the feeling of insanity, at one point he told me this: "Stop asking what time it is, can't you see the answer is different but has no meaning? 2,5,7,11,14,25 what does it matter? there is no such thing as time! So just stop asking." "When will this be over I asked?" - "It'll never be over, Can't you see? You're stuck in a loop, it won't ever end". "No" I replied, "this is just a bad trip, it will be over soon". "Why do you think so?" he said. "I know so" I said. He replied "you do? How come you know it will be over?" I know everything I told him. "You know nothing" he replied. I said "I am in control" thinking it will give me control of the trip and end this viscous and endless loop. "You are never in control, Can't u see that?"
This is when the loop became endless, time had no meaning, this loop repeated for around 50 or more times, it felt like half a day, and it got worse, how worse? This felt like Reality, I could notice Every tiny detail, This person I was speaking to, who looked and acted exactly like my cousin was Moving, Making sound, Breathing, everything, I was sure I was talking to him and was just delusional, but I wasn't, I was in bed this whole time.
After a while he would just tell me, Accept it, it will never be over, you're stuck in a loop, some people get stuck, it's ok. "No" I replied, "I will get out". And then the terror started: "you can't get out, you are dead, and don't you understand? This is how it is now, it won't ever end, you died." -"How can it be, I am not dead this stuff can't kill me". - "You took too much, after you took the second pill you just passed out and died, You are lying in bed, and I am lying next to you Dead also." "How come you are dead? You never took anything" - "I took some after you, this is the only reason you can see me and communicate with me"
I didn't believe I was dead, and was sure this was all just my sanity driving out of control, I kept fighting his words, No, I am alive! I AM alive! My name is X and I am Y years old, I am alive this is just a bad trip!, I tried everything to cling on to my Ego and reality. However the loop was endless, it went on for what felt like many many hours, My cousin would keep convincing me I am dead, He told me: "You're not X, Who is he? You're Steve, Where do you think you are?" - "In my cousin's house".
"No you are not, you're not there, you're in a different world". "You are H, you lived 100 years ago, and you are P you lived 50 years ago, don't you remember?, you are many people" "No" I shouted, I am X, I live at Z. No you are not; you are nothing and everything, no one and everyone. He told me to let go, accept it, Embrace it, that everything will be better once I do, That I am in a different world now, a world of souls, of ghosts, a different place, so what if I died, it doesn't matter anymore, it never did and never will. "Do you understand?" he said. Finally I said "Yes, I understand". "I don't think so, not yet you don't, once you do everything will be better" he replied.
"Don't you feel so much better without the load of your body?" He said, "See how light you are, you can move around so much easily without your body". (The whole experience I felt as if I was just in my own body but a bit high, nothing that will make me suspect this is all an illusion).
Eventually it became too much, I had accepted that I truly did die from an overdose and had nothing to do about it, I felt so helpless and sad, everyone I knew would be ashamed. N would then comfort me; he said "What's the difference? 22 years old, 52? it doesn't matter when you die, once you die everything means nothing, you change nothing and everyone you know also changed nothing, they die too eventually like everyone else and no one remembers you or them anyway, accept it, it's not that bad, after 2-3 weeks you will get over it and realize how infinite this new world is, you can do whatever you want here."
After starting to believe I truly am dead which took what felt like hours of an endless loop of my conscience (N) trying to convince me I was dead, and succeeding, I Began asking questions:
""But what about my family? We had a trip planned" - "They'll go without you, what do you think, you already payed for it" he said all giggly. "Will they have fun?" "Yes of course, They will be a little sad without you but they will get over it" he replied, giggling a little over how unimportant that should be to me and basically enjoying my shock a little, as if he has been dead for a very long time and is just enjoying this "new" soul he can guide and explain to, this entity was sarcastic and laughed allot, just like my real life cousin.
As I was lying on the floor he said: "Hey, You should be happy, now you know there is something after death, see? And at least you're not alone, you have me".
"So what are we waiting for?" - "For the judge"
"What judge?" - "He will judge you for the wrongs you have done"
"What wrongs have I done?" - "everyone does something wrong, didn't you do anything wrong?"
"What wrongs have you done?" I asked, - "That's between me and him, only he can judge me"
He replied. "When will he judge me?" –" "I don't know" he answered
"So how long do we wait?" – "There is no such thing as time, I told you, it can be 1 hour, 4 years, it doesn't matter, we are waiting for him, eventually he will judge us and we can move on to another place, right now we are stuck, we are ghosts just waiting, all of us waiting".
"So what is this? Is it Christianity? Judaism?"- "None of these, It's just the Truth"
"Accept it, Embrace it" he said. "Don’t you feel it?"
"Feel what?" I asked
"You are just pure energy, a soul, you can do whatever you want here, Embrace death, enjoy it, you have no obligations here, You can do whatever you want, Picture a beautiful woman and sleep with her if you want, anything."
I had thought about all my life, I accepted my death and felt great sadness for not accomplishing more, but after that, that truly Horrible feeling, I felt relief. My relief expanded into a great and unexplainable calm, I was OK that I died, I was happy, pure. I felt as if it had no meaning that I died now, or later. I now can finally learn and understand everything.
"You can't be my cousin, he would never speak like this or know these things, who am I talking to, and who are YOU talking to?" (I tried to see if he will call me by my name) "I am talking to a ghost, you are not here" he replied. "So who am I talking to?" I asked. "Yourself, I am your sub-conscience".
"So what now?" I asked. "Now, Nothing, You can do whatever you want" he replied
"Any recommendations?" I asked
"Go lie in bed" he said
I went to bed, he then said: "Try to sleep, close your eyes, HARD, You died, but now you will be reborn, try to sleep and return to your body."
I tried as hard as I can to close my eyes and sleep, my feeling didn't change but HE, my sub-conscience did.
I got up from bed and talked to him again, Am I OK? Am I alive? "That I don't know, Most get stuck, and you probably won't get out". He replied
"I can see you are trying to speak, SPEAK I can't hear you, I see you are moving your lips but no sound is coming out" I heard in the distance my cousin's voice. I kept screaming trying to talk, and did talk, to my sub-conscience/ego. At this point I thought my cousin was talking to my body in the real world and I just couldn't respond but kept trying, this was also an illusion (he never went to my body and said anything he figured I was partly sleeping). He then said "I can hear your heart beating, but I can't feel you breathing" I asked N, my sub-conscience what is happening, he replied: "You passed out; you're passed out on the bed". "When will I wake up?"I asked -"3-4 hours, just relax"
I went to sit next to him in his chair (This also happened in reality, I got up and sat next to him for 30minutes with my eyes open and never said a word) apparently I had illusions that I then had discussions with him and also a Friend, The first friend came as I was standing, I asked him if I was OK and he said: "yes, you're standing and don't you feel just fine?"
Then came another friend, (in reality a friend of my cousin arrived and they were both looking at me and talking, smoking a joint) I discussed with this other friend. I understood everything was an illusion and that I was just in a really bad trip and was now back to reality (I was tripping that my trip had ended), I didn't understand and was confused and was yet to fully realize what I just went through.
The second friend asked me how was it; I said it was too much. "Will you do it again?" no way I said. "Everyone says so after they finish their trip" he said (Again this conversation never happened).
I wanted to convince myself this was reality as I was very confused so I asked him about his tattoo (knowledge I can't actually have without him answering me) and he explained (this also never happened, but I guess I saw his tattoo with my eyes opened and it integrated to my trip, along with everything else that happened in the room during the time I was out, all of it integrated inside my trip and I heard EVERYTHING.)
At this point I was thinking that the whole Death part was my Real life cousin feeding me bad vibes and telling the "high" me I am dead as a cruel joke, at some point even saying I will thank him when it is over. this never happened in reality. But during most of my trip I was hoping he is just messing with me, until the loop repeated so much I actually believed I had died.
Then came a third friend (There was only one I imagined 3 different people coming 1 by 1 in GREAT detail, They were real for me, All of them, Possibly people I remember in my sub-conscience.) I asked this guy "Am I alive" and he said "Yeah bro you're alive" laughing at my weird question, possibly wondering what I have been through in my trip (when in fact he never existed)
He then left, I talked to my cousin, This was the first time I actually did talk according to him, I again said: "Am i conscience?" -"Yes" What time is it? "9PM" (T+8) (Thank god finally a different answer, I have asked what time it is for over 100 times that day.) Am i alive?!!? Please tell me I am alive. "You are alive, what happened? You took another one, you remember you took the second pill right? You might go back in again"
I proceed to explain everything, after a while realizing new things, Like I never did come out of my trip and had discussions with 3 of his friends; I just sat there staring while he and a friend talked. Which was very weird because the answers given by his friends were all very logical and true in my illusionary world, I asked the American friend if he studied anything and he said no, I could not have known that, I asked him how long he has been in our country he said 4 years, and even more questions, to all the answers were correct in real-life too. (Expect me asking my illusionery cousin what are his 2 cats names, he replied in a sarcastic manner calling them both a funny common cat names)
I was so happy to be alive, I cried of happiness realizing I will get to see the people I love once again and create new experiences.
I realize in retrospect that I had come near "Ego -death" and my sub-conscience was trying to make me leave my identity behind, I fought it because it was terrifying to be a "no one" or "nothing" with no meaning what so ever.
I had the opportunity to ask important questions and come to a realization that my Sub-conscience Believes there is a god; he refers to it as "The Judge". That time has no meaning and is just a pointless illusion. That there is no religion, only the "truth". That we are all just energy, "souls", "Ghosts", everything is energy and we are a part of everything.
I feel as if I had discussed in great length with my own "Ego" or "Soul". It tried to show me what it's like; it was like a whole different entity with ideas and opinions of its own. And its intentions clear, convince me of death so I will no longer be afraid, teach me the importance of life and make me appreciate the life I have. I myself as I said am an atheist, I never even read anyone referencing god a "the judge". The whole experience was just breathtaking in retrospect and I feel different. I still believe in the same things as before, but I think the entity I talked to, that took the form of my cousin which was the nearest person around, was just showing me what it believes in, and what it feels and knows.
The trip might have been 3 hours or so, but felt like eternity at some points. I could write 4 times as much as a I did, so much more I experienced, but you get the point.
I would defiantly recommend trying this; however 60mg for a first time is overwhelming and not suitable for people with weak mentality. I never experienced such fear and just pure horror, but also pure happiness and acceptance.
