the_dreamer
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2005
- Messages
- 19
After the good vibration from my first trip, I could not wait for the second one. That's why I decided to trip right on the night I got the stuff. It was obvious not a good decision. I did not make any big set up like the first time cause I wanted to be led by the chemicals.
3AM: I consumed the first 2 dots stuffed in a small piece of bread. It sounds weird hehe but there was no capsule left. I laid around in my room to wait for the rush to come in with some relaxation music.
4AM: I took the other 2 dots. By now, I already felt something coming over but I know it takes at least 2 hours for me to peak up (from my first trip experience). It was sort of boring after listening to music. I did not feel like listening to anything specific and kept changing the CDs. In the end, I decided to play with the mixing program, made a trance mix. It was good to feel the music getting better and better in my head.
5AM: Yes, the hallucination became more and more clear to me and it was much much better than my first trip which there were only the shapes of waves. I put on Enigma I to enjoy the magical moment. I sat on my bed with a small blue light on. I started feeling a little disoriented. I felt like I was on a trip around the world. The whole universe was opening up in front of my eyes. When I stared at the wall, it contained a whole new world in there with colors and all of these imaginary shapes. I don't remember for how long I was leaning my forehead against the wall to explore the new found world in there. I am not sure by now but I might have seen something like some big disco balls were shining and revolving in the colors of faded green to yellow. Still it was pretty enjoyable for me. It was the first step into the world of magic. My self-consciousness were leaving. When I tried to concentrate on looking at something, the vision I saw would be shaking or moving in slow motion.
From around 6AM, my flatmates were awake and got ready for work. It was the noise they made in kitchen that held me back to the real world a little bit. I stood up, walked around in my room, turned on the main light. I wanted to go outside for a while but I thought I should not cause my flatmates are a conservative couple. I did not want them to see me trashed on drugs right at their place. More and more I were losing my self-control until when I stood in the middle of my room with a very unclear sense of time and space. I could not hear the music anymore or I did not know if the CD was over already. There were some kinda weird, strange voices/noises inside of me. Sometimes, it sounded like a mystical music. I could not distinguish the sound of the real world and the sound in my head. I was scared. I tried to play a CD to make sure what I was hearing was true or not but doing such thing was not easy as it should be by then so I gave up after making the mess of my electronic stuffs and their wires messier.
Still I was in my room, standing but I kept having thoughts that I was somewhere else. Once I thought I must have been out on the streets already. I had nothing to assure what I thought, felt and saw at all. I touched everything in my room to make me believe that I was still in my room. My physical contacts did not compromise with my mental actions. I was dying to go ouside to see my flatmates but I was so unsure if I was wearing any clothes or not though I felt I had my shirt and underpant on. It was like the fight of right or wrong, real or unreal inside my head had reached to an equilibrium. None could defeat the other but kept fighting and fighting with their silly logical ways. All I could do was standing in between, being torn and helpless.
Once again about the visions, both closed-eye vision and opened-eye vision were extremely fantastic besides the paranoid was building up in my mind. Shapes like big weird letters, rectangles, circles, waves... were floating around me while sitting. When I closed my eyes with my head on my hands on the ground, they must have been the best things I had ever seen in my whole life. No words can ever describe what I saw and you guys know what I mean. They should have been made in heaven. Unfortunately, I was not an artist to capture a sketch of it.
Feeling locked up in my room, I reached out to the Internet to find something to hold me down a bit. I had a chat with a guy I barely knew on MSN. I kept asking him what time it was in my region since I could not trust my clocks anymore. He felt annoyed and kept saying who I was, I was a freak blah blah blah... because he did not recognise me. Now I think it was because of the stupid chat that I started to build up the theory that I was not a real person, the mind of a computer only and left alone, being trapped and controled mentally in cyberspace. I had the idea of identifying myself and getting out of this trap. It was the worst mind-struggling I had ever. Physically, it could be compared to banging my head against the walls. I don't know it was the instinct to survive or my self-consciousness that led me to bluelight forum after that. I don't know it was really me who wanted to seek for help or the drugs which made me want to identify myself to the world, to make me feel real at least. That was the possible reason I made the thread that day. I remember I was sort of lost actually, searching all over for my thread in every forum.
After reading and posting the thread for a while, I was still panic. I decided to make a phone call to my drug-friendly buddy. I told him the situation and he was trying to calm me down but it did not seem working out right away. In the end, I told him that must have been a dream, the conversation had never happened and hung up. It was just crazy how I was manipulated by drugs. My friend kept texting me and we had a chat over sms. More and more I could take hold of myself.
From 8AM or sth, I was somehow back to earth but still tripping quite hard. My flatmates were gone to work so I had the whole house to explore. I walked around the house and the backyard to see things on acid in daylight for the first time. I tried to eat some grapefruits but I did not want to eat at all. After the paranoid, I did not enjoy anything anymore. I was still scared to make my mind think so I tried to relax, not to think about anything so deeply. Trying to listen to my favourite music but it could not groove me at all.
9AM til noon, I was tripping and mainly only enjoyed the open-eyed visions. I was too pissed to entertain myself with any acitivities. I was sitting in the kitchen, drank some tea and had some bread & cheese while letting my mind wander around. In the end, I felt tired and tried to sleep.
After all, though it was not a pleasant trip like my first one, I still somehow enjoy it when thinking back. At least, I had experienced how strong acid could be and all the beautiful things that it made me see.
3AM: I consumed the first 2 dots stuffed in a small piece of bread. It sounds weird hehe but there was no capsule left. I laid around in my room to wait for the rush to come in with some relaxation music.
4AM: I took the other 2 dots. By now, I already felt something coming over but I know it takes at least 2 hours for me to peak up (from my first trip experience). It was sort of boring after listening to music. I did not feel like listening to anything specific and kept changing the CDs. In the end, I decided to play with the mixing program, made a trance mix. It was good to feel the music getting better and better in my head.
5AM: Yes, the hallucination became more and more clear to me and it was much much better than my first trip which there were only the shapes of waves. I put on Enigma I to enjoy the magical moment. I sat on my bed with a small blue light on. I started feeling a little disoriented. I felt like I was on a trip around the world. The whole universe was opening up in front of my eyes. When I stared at the wall, it contained a whole new world in there with colors and all of these imaginary shapes. I don't remember for how long I was leaning my forehead against the wall to explore the new found world in there. I am not sure by now but I might have seen something like some big disco balls were shining and revolving in the colors of faded green to yellow. Still it was pretty enjoyable for me. It was the first step into the world of magic. My self-consciousness were leaving. When I tried to concentrate on looking at something, the vision I saw would be shaking or moving in slow motion.
From around 6AM, my flatmates were awake and got ready for work. It was the noise they made in kitchen that held me back to the real world a little bit. I stood up, walked around in my room, turned on the main light. I wanted to go outside for a while but I thought I should not cause my flatmates are a conservative couple. I did not want them to see me trashed on drugs right at their place. More and more I were losing my self-control until when I stood in the middle of my room with a very unclear sense of time and space. I could not hear the music anymore or I did not know if the CD was over already. There were some kinda weird, strange voices/noises inside of me. Sometimes, it sounded like a mystical music. I could not distinguish the sound of the real world and the sound in my head. I was scared. I tried to play a CD to make sure what I was hearing was true or not but doing such thing was not easy as it should be by then so I gave up after making the mess of my electronic stuffs and their wires messier.
Still I was in my room, standing but I kept having thoughts that I was somewhere else. Once I thought I must have been out on the streets already. I had nothing to assure what I thought, felt and saw at all. I touched everything in my room to make me believe that I was still in my room. My physical contacts did not compromise with my mental actions. I was dying to go ouside to see my flatmates but I was so unsure if I was wearing any clothes or not though I felt I had my shirt and underpant on. It was like the fight of right or wrong, real or unreal inside my head had reached to an equilibrium. None could defeat the other but kept fighting and fighting with their silly logical ways. All I could do was standing in between, being torn and helpless.
Once again about the visions, both closed-eye vision and opened-eye vision were extremely fantastic besides the paranoid was building up in my mind. Shapes like big weird letters, rectangles, circles, waves... were floating around me while sitting. When I closed my eyes with my head on my hands on the ground, they must have been the best things I had ever seen in my whole life. No words can ever describe what I saw and you guys know what I mean. They should have been made in heaven. Unfortunately, I was not an artist to capture a sketch of it.
Feeling locked up in my room, I reached out to the Internet to find something to hold me down a bit. I had a chat with a guy I barely knew on MSN. I kept asking him what time it was in my region since I could not trust my clocks anymore. He felt annoyed and kept saying who I was, I was a freak blah blah blah... because he did not recognise me. Now I think it was because of the stupid chat that I started to build up the theory that I was not a real person, the mind of a computer only and left alone, being trapped and controled mentally in cyberspace. I had the idea of identifying myself and getting out of this trap. It was the worst mind-struggling I had ever. Physically, it could be compared to banging my head against the walls. I don't know it was the instinct to survive or my self-consciousness that led me to bluelight forum after that. I don't know it was really me who wanted to seek for help or the drugs which made me want to identify myself to the world, to make me feel real at least. That was the possible reason I made the thread that day. I remember I was sort of lost actually, searching all over for my thread in every forum.
After reading and posting the thread for a while, I was still panic. I decided to make a phone call to my drug-friendly buddy. I told him the situation and he was trying to calm me down but it did not seem working out right away. In the end, I told him that must have been a dream, the conversation had never happened and hung up. It was just crazy how I was manipulated by drugs. My friend kept texting me and we had a chat over sms. More and more I could take hold of myself.
From 8AM or sth, I was somehow back to earth but still tripping quite hard. My flatmates were gone to work so I had the whole house to explore. I walked around the house and the backyard to see things on acid in daylight for the first time. I tried to eat some grapefruits but I did not want to eat at all. After the paranoid, I did not enjoy anything anymore. I was still scared to make my mind think so I tried to relax, not to think about anything so deeply. Trying to listen to my favourite music but it could not groove me at all.
9AM til noon, I was tripping and mainly only enjoyed the open-eyed visions. I was too pissed to entertain myself with any acitivities. I was sitting in the kitchen, drank some tea and had some bread & cheese while letting my mind wander around. In the end, I felt tired and tried to sleep.
After all, though it was not a pleasant trip like my first one, I still somehow enjoy it when thinking back. At least, I had experienced how strong acid could be and all the beautiful things that it made me see.
