Colinf1212
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2014
- Messages
- 17
2 days ago I had my first experience with psychedelics. At 8:20pm I put two 150ug white lsd blotters under my tongue for 10 minutes and then swallowed. It took slightly over an hour for the effects to kick it, and when they did, they kicked in hard.
Before taking the LSD I read about making sure my setting was pleasant while under the influence. To do this I decided to play the Pharrell song "Happy" repetitively while waiting for my blotters to take effect. When they took effect I realized that this song was a bad choice. I was going through the song feeling happy until the "can't nothing bring me down" build-up stage of the song where I was freaking out each time. I also felt like I was somehow holding on to reality and was scared of losing myself (ego death?). I then started to look inwards and thought to myself what was I scared of losing? I drank water and when I drank this it feel like I was drinking myself, which was pretty weird.
It took me a while until I realized what sort of setting I needed and I turned off the song and played the film fantasia instead (I seen this recommended online). When I played this I became exactly like a child again, I could hear a woman (my mother?) talking to me while I was watching it, she was talking to me in baby talk ("look at that!" and such). I'm not sure if I seen this film while growing up but I feel like I must've. While watching this film I started to believe I was everything in the multiverse and I was hiding from this fact. I later started to explore my sexuality and considered the possibility that I may be gay (I'm not). I'm not sure if parts of this film led me to think these things, I'll have to re-watch it to see why I thought like this; I feel comments before the trip were playing on my mind, mixed with certain elements of the film.
By the end of the film my high was much more mild and controllable. After fantasia I watched the film "Frozen" and properly came to the realization that I'll never be a kid again which made me cry. I also tried Ice cream which tasted like absolute heaven. I watched the film Avatar after that and listened to some music (shpongle, led zeppelin and pink floyd). I'm kind of disappointed I just sat on my computer the whole time, but then again I did it at night and I would've freaked out if I tried to go outside in the dark.
In the future I will make sure I do LSD in the morning rather than at night. I will also make sure I'm fully physically ready to be up 12 hours+ and I will make sure to explore nature (it'll be hard doing this in public), rather than sitting at my computer the whole time. I'm glad I took this alone, rather than with someone; I definitely wouldn't like being around others on it. I'm also rather sad I lost my pen around the start of my trip so I couldn't chronicle my trip properly; I'm still rather groggy and finding it hard to properly piece together my trip.
I'm quite scared of taking it again at that dosage (300ug). The come-up was pretty strong and the fear of losing myself is something I don't quite understand. A few hours into my trip when the intensity decreased I started to enjoy it. I think in the future I will only take 150ug-225ug. I have 3 blotters left, so 2 more trips in the coming weeks before my experience with LSD is finished. Then again I might take all 3 and just let myself lose control completely, I'm not sure yet.
I am currently depressed (came off SSRIs 2 weeks ago to try this) and I feel this trip helped me become more aware of my setting. The past 2 days I've been trying to make sure I'm only ever reading positive things and listening to positive people etc.
It's an experience I am definitely glad I undertook.
Some things I wrote down at the start of my trip:
"It's trying to make me paranoid by making everything quiet
Tries to make you paranoid like you being caught high is the worst thing
Feels like being a child again, laughing feels mischievous
I'm drinking myself, everything is one.
It's a choice
LSD just exaggerates everything"
^The paranoia is just things playing on my mind. I live in an apartment complex where everyone is quite close to each other and I had taken the LSD late and was scared of wakening others up with my laughing. It's all setting/mindset.
Before taking the LSD I read about making sure my setting was pleasant while under the influence. To do this I decided to play the Pharrell song "Happy" repetitively while waiting for my blotters to take effect. When they took effect I realized that this song was a bad choice. I was going through the song feeling happy until the "can't nothing bring me down" build-up stage of the song where I was freaking out each time. I also felt like I was somehow holding on to reality and was scared of losing myself (ego death?). I then started to look inwards and thought to myself what was I scared of losing? I drank water and when I drank this it feel like I was drinking myself, which was pretty weird.
It took me a while until I realized what sort of setting I needed and I turned off the song and played the film fantasia instead (I seen this recommended online). When I played this I became exactly like a child again, I could hear a woman (my mother?) talking to me while I was watching it, she was talking to me in baby talk ("look at that!" and such). I'm not sure if I seen this film while growing up but I feel like I must've. While watching this film I started to believe I was everything in the multiverse and I was hiding from this fact. I later started to explore my sexuality and considered the possibility that I may be gay (I'm not). I'm not sure if parts of this film led me to think these things, I'll have to re-watch it to see why I thought like this; I feel comments before the trip were playing on my mind, mixed with certain elements of the film.
By the end of the film my high was much more mild and controllable. After fantasia I watched the film "Frozen" and properly came to the realization that I'll never be a kid again which made me cry. I also tried Ice cream which tasted like absolute heaven. I watched the film Avatar after that and listened to some music (shpongle, led zeppelin and pink floyd). I'm kind of disappointed I just sat on my computer the whole time, but then again I did it at night and I would've freaked out if I tried to go outside in the dark.
In the future I will make sure I do LSD in the morning rather than at night. I will also make sure I'm fully physically ready to be up 12 hours+ and I will make sure to explore nature (it'll be hard doing this in public), rather than sitting at my computer the whole time. I'm glad I took this alone, rather than with someone; I definitely wouldn't like being around others on it. I'm also rather sad I lost my pen around the start of my trip so I couldn't chronicle my trip properly; I'm still rather groggy and finding it hard to properly piece together my trip.
I'm quite scared of taking it again at that dosage (300ug). The come-up was pretty strong and the fear of losing myself is something I don't quite understand. A few hours into my trip when the intensity decreased I started to enjoy it. I think in the future I will only take 150ug-225ug. I have 3 blotters left, so 2 more trips in the coming weeks before my experience with LSD is finished. Then again I might take all 3 and just let myself lose control completely, I'm not sure yet.
I am currently depressed (came off SSRIs 2 weeks ago to try this) and I feel this trip helped me become more aware of my setting. The past 2 days I've been trying to make sure I'm only ever reading positive things and listening to positive people etc.
It's an experience I am definitely glad I undertook.
Some things I wrote down at the start of my trip:
"It's trying to make me paranoid by making everything quiet
Tries to make you paranoid like you being caught high is the worst thing
Feels like being a child again, laughing feels mischievous
I'm drinking myself, everything is one.
It's a choice
LSD just exaggerates everything"
^The paranoia is just things playing on my mind. I live in an apartment complex where everyone is quite close to each other and I had taken the LSD late and was scared of wakening others up with my laughing. It's all setting/mindset.