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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

3 weeks clean and.....

J

johnny oxy

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 6, 2010
Messages
65
3 weeks off a 3yr oxy habit and i snorted a 20 for no damn good reason. just wanted a "treat" i guess. I am such a dumb ass. I was feeling so much better. My first and hopefully last relapse. How if any will this affect me physically and mentally. Thanks!
 
I assume you don't mean how 20mg of OC will affect you because I imagine you know that... so you mean afterward?

Its unlikely that alone will bring about withdrawals or anything like that, but you might feel a little shitty the next day. If you've been experiencing PAWS, it might make them a little worse but not substantially.

The biggest problem will likely be mentally if you beat yourself up about it. Relapse used to be viewed in the treatment world like failure... either you're 100% clean or you fail. Its not like that today, relapse is nearly expected at least once and can be very beneficial if you use it to learn.

Examine what lead to this, what effects its had and what effects continuing this could have and use that information to help you out in the future.

This is pretty basic so I'm going to send it over to BDD.

Take care of yourself and don't let this setback ruin what you've accomplished. Recommit to what you're doing and view this positively, its a step back but you didn't go all the way back to the start so don't throw away all of your hard-earned progress!



--->BDD
 
As people have said this was just a small slip up. It's important to recognize it for what it was and not think well there goes all my hard work might as well take some more. Don't think of it as 'I was clean for 3 weeks and then slipped up.' Think of it as '3 weeks ago I really began to to take control of my addiction and now even after snorting an oxy after 3 weeks of complete abstention I'm still in control and on the right path.'

You can also look back on that single dose with a clear sober head and hopefully better understand what made you want to take it and how it made you feel.

Keep up the good work!
 
don't let one slip turn into a huge slide. sounds like you worked hard to get where you're at. don't dwell on what happened, focus on what you are going to do in the future to stay clean.
if possible try to talk to a dr about going on suboxone to help curb your cravings. it really works wonders.
good luck.
 
they say it best "don't use any under circumstance no matter what." delete those numbers! make meetings, and do sober things to take yur mind off getting high
 
It was a big mistake IMO... you won't get physical withdrawls, but psychologically your brain has just had a "treat" and will demand for more, you've got to resist the urge... i read somewhere that satistcly, in the first 2 months of being clean from heroin, you have an 80% chance of relapse... the longer you're clean, the less chance there is of relapse.... i would advise not touching ANY opiate for as long as possible... also, do't hang out with people doing oxy, morphine H etc...

good luck
 
First let me say cogratulations! 3 weeks is great! Good for you, and the notorious oc's are soon to be a thing of the past it would appear, so perhaps your brain wanted one last hoorah? Physically it should have little to no affect, it's mos def the mental side that will be the struggle; just by the way you wrote your post I can tell it's already eating you up. Try to not let it, your doing great and one 20 is no reason to lose hope or blow your sobriety out of the water! It did trigger those receptors though so you may be depressed for several days, and like Cane said, relapse is part of recovery now, that is starting to be understood; as opposed to the past when a relapse was thought of as a horrible thing and almost like a complete failure. I would take Cain's advice and just buck up and use it as a learning experience. I have kicked opiates cold turkey myself in the past, so I know how long 3 weeks seems, more like 3 years! Just hop back on the horse and keep moving forward, you're doing great, and I'm sure if you can lighten up and not be so hard on yourself you'll continue with your great progress. Best of luck to you and God bless!
 
3 weeks is something for you to feel great about. It's hard. You will relapse.. it's a part of recovery. All I can do is tell you don't be so hard on yourself. Good for you, keep your head up and keep it up!! :) I wish you the best of luck!
 
johnny oxy said:
3 weeks off a 3yr oxy habit and i snorted a 20 for no damn good reason. just wanted a "treat" i guess. I am such a dumb ass. I was feeling so much better. My first and hopefully last relapse. How if any will this affect me physically and mentally. Thanks!
Click to expand...

please keep at it.

although i didnt have an oxy habit,just an occassional dabble i did havea benzo habit and aftrer a year ive managed a break of 7 weeks and then i had 4e weekends back off the wagon and then 2 weeks back on the wagon and then off again and then another 3 oiff the wagon.

my next goal is to reach christmas
 
I had a 5 year habbit of doing 5 80's MINIMUM a day. I decided on my own to cut back and stop because it was controlling my life and I was loosing the fun outta it. YOU DID NOT RELAPSE!!!
From everything I've leaned from talking to a counselor during my recovery from sept 09-feb10, there is a "SLIP" and a "RELAPSE" You just slipped. A slip is when you try your drug again or its like a "trip" but you didn't "fall" A Relapse is when you go back to your same old behavior/routine and end up in the same position as b4. Thats a relapse. So congratulate yourself that it was just a slip. Everything is a learning experience. I was clean for 7 months. Now I "slip" twice a month, doing oxys once every 2-3 weeks. I just like oxys that much. You have to WANT to stop to be able to stop. I didn't want to stop. I just wanted to stop the life style. I enjoy the highs too much. Now that's not to say that I dont have a new habit or just doing a little on a schedule of 2-3 weeks. I do. But thats what i can manage and am comfortable with. And it by no means makes it ok. But thats what i comfortable with. So don't take that thinking as a reason to get high. Like i said you have to WANT to stop to be able to stop, if you don't, your just kidding yourself. Be honest with what you want and go from there.

FYI: Most overdosing deaths are a result of someone getting clean for an amount of time, then the user uses again and thinks their tolerance is the same, when in fact its diminished and lower, resulting in death. So be safe and be smart if you CHOOSE to use again. YOU ARE IN CONTROL, SO REMAIN IN CONTROL.
 
interesting question amigo. but mentally, you are just making it easier for you to justify continued drug use in the long run. every time you say stop to yourself, then you use, its easier to use the next time. youre basically bullshitting yourself, you are weakening your own defense mechanism against yourself, your conscience. keep it up, and youll notice you had a fallout with the little angel on your shoulder, and your new best friend is that little devil..... the only reason you used, is because you justified using. at first, it takes a while to justify use, so you fought over using for a good long while, then gave in... pretty soon, your justification will be "ill stop tomorrow".... trust me, i know from experience. i bullshitted myself for an entire year before i finally got over using heroin.. now i mentally dont like it as much as i used to. .... LEARN TO HATE IT. or youll just learn to love it more
 
Ive been clean for 8 days now, if i took some today, would i be back to day 1? Im pretty sure I know the answer. I got down to 50, then 20 then 7 days straight nothing. today is day 8. advice?
 
It was all or nothing with me. Stayed sober for three years and had major dental work done. Long story short I haven't been able to shake em since
 
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