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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Cheshire_Kat

2C-T-21/2C-C - First time T-21 and combo - Discovery of a Blissful State

Xorkoth

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Feb 8, 2006
Messages
65,036
Location
In the mountains
The day was a good one. I had just finished driving home in my brand new (new used anyway) 2004 Acura TL S-type (manual of course) listening to some really good music on the 8 speaker Bose surround sound system, which made it even better. So it was a nice addition to the goodness when I discovered a mysterious envelope which had somehow arrived upon returning to my residence. Through some bizarre twist of fate, this envelope contained, among other things, 42mg of 2C-T-21, a currently unavailable substance I have been very curious about for a while now. So I spontaneously decided to sample some of it. What follows is the recalling of the events that resulted from my spontaneity, written beginning at T+5:45.

6:30pm (T+0:00) - Having just finished taking a shower with my girlfriend, I weighed out 6mg of 2C-T-21 and placed it into a shot glass. The chemical appears as a very slightly off-white, fine powder, and smells different from any other 2C-X, 2C-T-X, or indeed any other chemical I have smelled. I'm not really sure I could explain the smell, as it is pretty unique. I poured just over 1mL of distilled water into the shot glass and stirred until it dissolved, which happened pretty rapidly. I then drew the solution slowly up into an oral syringe and proceeded to ingest the exotic phenethylamine rectally. Needless to say, that syringe has never actually been an oral one! I had to go to choir practice at 7:00, as I am in the choir at the church my girlfriend is the pianist for, but I just had her drive, which worked out because she really wanted to drive my car anyway. Since by now it was 6:50, I quickly got dressed and packed up a quick bowl of cannabis, which happened to be an even blend of two excellent strains, DP White Widow and L.S.D. Just then, I began to feel the effects, a very warm and smooth buzz around my solar plexus and heart, creeping out as an energy. For the past month I have felt like I am constantly radiating love from those areas, and this buzz didn't alter that energy's pattern one bit, but began to increase its intensity of output. We quickly smoked the tasty bowl and then left.

7:05 (T+0:35) - In the car, I turned on some funk and blues, including BB King, Muddy Waters, and Sly and the Family Stone. And a little Bela Fleck as well. The marijuana definitely kicked the 2C-T-21 in pretty well and increased the full-body tactile buzz very pleasantly. The music we were listening to has never sounded better - really funky funk and blues tracks are a very good idea for this drug. I absolutely couldn't stop myself from moving to the music. It just felt so good to do so. I became aware at this point that I felt really good, really energetic in the cleanest way and just radiating warmth and love. Moving my body and touching it against the surfaces of my car's interior felt great. In this way it reminded me of how MDMA used to be for me before it stopped working. I found myself analyzing the artists themselves through their music. Specifically I was marveling at the tremendous influence that BB King had on electric blues, and how James Brown was the guy who brought funk to a whole new level, into what we know it as today. And although I didn't have any Ray Charles in the car, I also thought about how incredibly influential he was in making music popular and "hip", by taking it out of the churches and onto the radio.

7:30 (T+1:00) - We arrived at the church and went in to choir practice. I really like this group of people, although they're all at least my parents' age, and most are much older. The director is almost 90, although he looks like and has the energy of a 65 or 70 year old. For the past few months I've been attending this church and have been in its choir. It's a Methodist church, which is what I grew up as. I've been realizing that some churches, and hence, some who practice organized religion really have the right idea. They're really good, loving people who use it to help those in need and who really are very tolerant of others and just nice to everyone. As I turned 17, I had totally turned my back on Christianity because so much of it is pointless ritual, and mainly because I saw how it was used so often and especially in the past as an insidious form of social control that allowed a few to gain tremendous power over the population. I became an atheist, but found my own spirituality again a few months after I turned 18 with psychedelics as a catalyst. But only recently have I begun to attend church again. Now I definitely don't and never will again consider myself a Christian, but here I've found a church that really has the right idea. They don't focus on the ritual and the seriousness that can something overcome a congregation. They focus on how to become better people, how to help others, how to live happy lives, and they have lots of fun. The pastors joke and everyone laughs. The sermons are thought-provoking and funny and interesting. Lately I've been thinking about Jesus, a man who existed around 2000 years ago. Now I don't believe he was the son of god any more than we all are, which is to say, we are all god, we're all the same consciousness. But I think that's what Jesus was also saying, and in the many, many years that followed, people began to warp that and twist it into what it is today. I seriously doubt that Jesus wanted people to worship him. He wanted them to celebrate life and love everyone and live happily and be good to each other. Of course I don't know the guy, but he sounds like he was a really great man. So although I think that Christians take it all a bit too literally and often too seriously, when it gets down to it, if it allows you to live a happy, spiritual life and to feel love for others, then it's really the same thing, and it's great that something exists that has such a positive effect on the lives of so many people, despite the fact that it also causes some people to live repressed, joyless lives in which they purposely forego all pleasure in the misguided fear of an eternity of torture after death.

Anyway, choir practice went great. I was in a really great and talkative mood, and I talked a whole lot more than I usually do. I'm usually pretty quiet there. At this point, the drug that 2C-T-21 reminded me of the most was 2C-B-fly. They both have that warm, euphoric, glowing body high that seems to emanate from the solar plexus and heart, but 2C-T-21 is more physical and slightly more mentally altering (although still not much of a change from sober consciousness, just more joyful). The tactile sensations reminded me of MDMA but toned down, though mentally it was much more sober and in control. Throughout choir practice I couldn't stop smiling, and singing felt even better than usual.

8:15 (T+1:45) - Choir practice was over, and so we left. By this time my peak (as it were) had levelled off, and I was on the plateau, still feeling really good but less acutely. The drive home was filled with more music and discussion with my girlfriend. I could have easily driven proficiently but I let my girlfriend do it just because it's generally a bad idea to drive on psychedelics, even gentle, enhancing ones.

8:45 (T+2:15) - Arriving home, I decide to boost the high by taking some 2C-C which had also arrived in that mysterious envelope, as well as a bit more 2C-T-21. So I went and weighed out 22mg of 2C-C and 5mg of 2C-T-21, and ingested them together rectally in 1.5mL of distilled H2O. Although the 2C-T-21 by itself I took earlier did not burn at all, this combination did moderately, although it faded after 5 minutes or so. This says to me that 2C-C burns when taken rectally. Although many report burning from phenethylamines in the rectum, personally I've only found 2C-B, MDMA, and now 2C-C to burn. The rest that I've tried that way have felt just like the water they're dissolved in.

I had read about an amazing synergy between 2C-C and 2C-T-21, but I didn't get as high as I expected. The 2C-T-21 on its own produced no visuals of any kind, and adding more along with 2C-C did not change this like I expected, although things gained a bit of a sparkle to them, probably from my light to moderate pupil dilation. I began to feel effects by 15 minutes after ingestion, and at 25 I was hit with a wave of pleasure. It felt much like the earlier come-up and peak from 2C-T-21 alone, but with an added element which provided a sense of hilarity and even greater tactile enhancement than before. I was laying down on the floor in the living room with my girlfriend, watching TV and rolling around, constantly rubbing my legs and socked feet against the carpet, the blanket, and her. We were watching a marathon of Roseanne, which is a really excellent show. One of the most well-done shows ever, in my opinion. The love between the actors in the Connor family is obviously very real, and it gives the show a very authentic feel. I felt really nice while watching them interact, and I found myself lazily analyzing the situations that came up. However, this analyzation was less exciting and not as pronounced as it was earlier with just the 2C-T-21. The high had become more physical and less mentally sharp. Maybe it was just because I had already passed the peak of my original experience, but it seemed to be at least partly due to adding 2C-C to the mix. But I can't be sure.

My girlfriend and I were being very silly with each other, and we also smoked another bowl of the same blend of strains with a small bit of "willy jack" added in, as well as covered in kief collected from grinding the same strains for vaporization. We also took several hits from the vaporizer. Of course, the weed once again helped the drugs to kick in and become more euphoric, as it always does especially with phenethylamines. Before long, I was laughing hysterically at everything, while writhing around in pleasure. It just felt so good to laugh, and my girlfriend and I spent a good half an hour laughing so hard we started to cry. I don't even remember what set it off. I also found that these drugs and their combination did not inhibit my appetite, and I ate some light dinner, which tasted excellent.

At this point, the high felt like a more psychedelic 2C-B-fly (that one is, for me, not particularly psychedelic but definitely heart-opening), but it felt even more physically euphoric than the furan analogue of a brominated 2,5-dimethoxyphenethylamine. However, I still prefer 2C-B-fly's mental euphoria. But not by a whole lot.

11:30 (T+5:00) - The effects had levelled off slightly but not really started to come down. My girlfriend had been sleeping for most of the last Roseanne episode, so I woke her and we went upstairs to bed. I laid down with her until she fell asleep. During that time, my little girl Magnolia (one of my cats) came up on the bed as she always does at bedtime. She loves to sleep in the bed with us, which I also love. She climbed right up on my girlfriend's pillow and started nuzzling and licking her forehead and cheek. Then she came over to me and laid down on my chest and dug her face into my neck and laid there purring for a while. I was, as often happens, nearly brought to tears by the incredible amount of love I feel for her and my girlfriend, and even moreso at the love that both of them feel for me. I felt (and feel) like the luckiest guy alive to be surrounded with such love at all times. The four of us are a family, two people and two kitties, a mom and a son, who was sleeping on the floor in the same room.

Then Magnolia (or Magna as we usually call her) got off of me and flopped down, stretching across my girlfriend, who fell asleep moments later. I looked at my sweet kitty and suddenly began to think about how absolutely horrible it will be someday to have to experience her passing, the death of them both. Fortunately right now she is only two, and Stripeson (Stripey, my boy kitty) is not even two yet. So they have a long way. But that will be so sad I can't really linger on it. They're my children, and I am going to be absolutely devastated when that day comes. I honestly don't know how I will be able to deal with it. But it's totally worth it for the joy and love they bring to my life. Getting those cats was one of the best things we've ever done. They've changed my life in such a beautiful way, and they're one of the main reasons that my girlfriend and I stopped fighting and now get along perfectly. We used to fight almost every day, and although the good times were always great, the bad times were often difficult to get through. Love was a rollercoaster then. Now it's a stable, enduring force that makes me unbelievably happy.

12:00 midnight (T+5:30) - Realizing that my girlfriend had fallen asleep, I got up and went to the computer to begin typing this report up. I also logged onto Bluelight to read and make new posts, and onto Erowid to read new reports. By this time my high had definitely faded somewhat, but I still felt excellent and mildly euphoric. There were no negative effects involving with the comedown, no crash of any kind whatsoever. It was just gradually fading into a faint glow. While alternately browsing and typing this and browsing, I began to think about kratom. Late last week I made a budget so I could start saving more money, and I realized I had been using way too much kratom, and spending way too much money on it. I've got a physical dependence on it, although the mental/emotional dependence is much less than it once was. Still, I use it every day and have been for some time. I made the budget on Thursday, after drinking some kratom, and decided I would hold off from using it until I felt withdrawals, then use some and wait until I felt them again, and in this way I could wean myself off of it and use much less, reserving it for the weekend and perhaps certain weekday occasions. Unfortunately, by Friday evening I was starting to feel that shitty body ache and incredibly restless feeling that marks opiate withdrawal, although fortunately my mood was not affected at all (I've been almost ludicrously happy for the past month). I waited to see if I could sleep and wait until the next day to take any so I could stick to the weekend plan, but the restlessness prevented me from being able to sleep at all, so I broke down and took a dose that night which allowed me to go to sleep.

That weekend I took it twice Saturday and thrice Sunday, which I felt a bit bad about. Sunday night I took some 2C-I, which was the first time in about 6 months and which was very enjoyable and euphoric. Monday came and I figured I might not be able to sleep that night, but as it turns out I passed out easily at midnight and got 7.5 hours of sleep. The next day (Tuesday, which is today), I also felt wonderful and totally fine. Then I took the drugs and had the experience in this report, and I still was withdrawal-free. Amazing, and totally against my expectations!

1:00 (T+6:30) - The effects have dropped off more. I'm still typing and browsing. Suddenly, I notice that damn restlessness in the legs and a slight ache to go with it, although very light. I realize that the withdrawal has just started to show, and it will be hard to sleep, and plus the phenethylamines have made me totally wide awake. So I decide to have a dose of kratom, lower than normal (9 grams as opposed to the usual 10 or 11). I wait a while, and at 1:40, I brew up the opioid plant into a tea.

2:00 (T+7:30) - I drink the kratom and wash it down with water and ice cream. I feel very optimistic about my plan and I feel that this time I really will remain free of kratom addiction. I already feel almost no compulsion to do it (other than brief desires which are easier than ever to squash), and the only reason I took it tonight was to be able to fall asleep. Within 20 minutes I start to feel it. It knocks the 2C-T-21/2C-C high down some more and adds a new element to the body high. It's nice but I preferred the peak/plateau of the 2C-T-21 and the combination with 2C-C. I continued to write this report, and before I knew it, it was...

3:12am (T+8:42) - I'm writing this at 3:12; my report has finally caught up to the present! Since the effects of the phenethylamines are almost gone now aside from a residual body glow, I will be going to bed quite soon, after I read a few more reports.

I'd also like to make a few closing observations. First of all, 2C-T-21 is a great, beautiful substance. It reminds me most of 2C-B-fly, providing a warm, heart-opening glow which feels like it's projecting from the solar plexus and also from the heart. It enhances music very nicely and would be great for dancing I'm sure. It's also great for making music. It seems to be relatively mentally sober, definitely very clear, and is not very psychedelic except that it opens up the emotions. It doesn't seem to provide visuals, which is fine by me, but it gives everything a look of beauty somehow, sort of like AMT but less profound. It doesn't seem to impair motor functions at all. It was extremely enjoyable but I don't feel compulsed to take it like I do with some other euphoric compounds, such as AMT and particularly methylone. It seemed to enhance my social skills and desire to talk, which is always nice.

As for the combination, I think I need to wait to take either of these drugs again until I have reduced my phenethylamine tolerance significantly. I have very little 2C-T-21 and I'm not sure when or if I can get more, so I will definitely wait until a more opportune time to try it again. Next time, I will take a larger dose of both 2C-T-21 and 2C-C at the same time, and try to investigate the synergy I hear about. In this experience, the combination was excellent but I did not notice much synergy, just a new peak of approximately the same feeling, with added tactile enhancement and an element of hilarity that was very enjoyable.

So with that, I'm going to bed, since I have to work tomorrow. I hope you read all the way through and found this report informative, helpful, and/or enjoyable.

substancecode_2CT21
substancecode_2CC
_combo_
 
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Great read. I had been very keen to hear a more in depth explination on the synergy between the t-21 and 2c-c. I have sampled both of these materials on their own, but never got the chance to combine them. 4-ho-dipt was a very good partner for 2c-c though;)
 
I'll have to try that one too. I don't really feel as if I understand the synergy between 2C-C- and 2C-T-21 yet, because as I mentioned I have a significant amount of phenethylamine tolerance right now and I took the 2C-C hours after the initial dose of 2C-T-21.

My reports always end up so long! I just read back through it.
 
Very interesting. Why haven't I done 2C-T-21 yet?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Why!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

/me yells and then makes some strange noise and then questions it all.

I can't rememberm had you not tried the T21 prior? Nice report you tripping every day heathen.
 
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Definitely not every day. But still within heathen levels, I'm afraid ;)

And no, I hadn't yet tried it.

I do recommend you try it though. It seems to require very little commitment or preparation and for me it was very pleasant indeed.
 
Like I stated earlier, I found 2c-t-21 to be very recreational with very little insight or deep content to it. It is good for just having a good time. Excelent erotic enhancer also;)
 
Excellent trip report as usual..Your detailed reports are the only reason I browse this forum..I felt like I actually ingested the substances..take care and I hope I come across these substances in the near future.
 
Xorkoth said:
I've been realizing that some churches, and hence, some who practice organized religion really have the right idea. They're really good, loving people who use it to help those in need and who really are very tolerant of others and just nice to everyone. As I turned 17, I had totally turned my back on Christianity because so much of it is pointless ritual, and mainly because I saw how it was used so often and especially in the past as an insidious form of social control that allowed a few to gain tremendous power over the population. I became an atheist, but found my own spirituality again a few months after I turned 18 with psychedelics as a catalyst. But only recently have I begun to attend church again. Now I definitely don't and never will again consider myself a Christian, but here I've found a church that really has the right idea. They don't focus on the ritual and the seriousness that can something overcome a congregation. They focus on how to become better people, how to help others, how to live happy lives, and they have lots of fun. The pastors joke and everyone laughs. The sermons are thought-provoking and funny and interesting. Lately I've been thinking about Jesus, a man who existed around 2000 years ago. Now I don't believe he was the son of god any more than we all are, which is to say, we are all god, we're all the same consciousness. But I think that's what Jesus was also saying, and in the many, many years that followed, people began to warp that and twist it into what it is today. I seriously doubt that Jesus wanted people to worship him. He wanted them to celebrate life and love everyone and live happily and be good to each other. Of course I don't know the guy, but he sounds like he was a really great man. So although I think that Christians take it all a bit too literally and often too seriously, when it gets down to it, if it allows you to live a happy, spiritual life and to feel love for others, then it's really the same thing, and it's great that something exists that has such a positive effect on the lives of so many people, despite the fact that it also causes some people to live repressed, joyless lives in which they purposely forego all pleasure in the misguided fear of an eternity of torture after death.

Amen, brotha'!

For the past year or two, I've felt very conflicted when thinking about church/religion. On one hand, I see all the pain, suffering, and ignorance it can cause ... and on the other, all the warmth and love it can provide. I haven't gone to church under my own will in at least 4 years, but this past Christmas I went with my family and listened to a great sermon. It wasn't about judgement; it wasn't negative in any sense. It was just a lesson on how to appreciate life and be kind to others. Something that I think was well worth listening to.

I still feel conflicted about singing hymns praising Jesus since I still think this worship is misguided. And I still feel a good deal of frustration when I see the ignorance and prejudice that religion sometimes engenders. But I think I'm coming to a point where I can look at organized religion in a more positive light. The majority of churchgoers and pastors are obviously not there for the purpose of manipulation and power and greed. These are sometimes unfortunate consequences of a large organized religion, but I they are by no means the norm. There is a lot of good that comes out of it which needs to be taken into account. Anyway, I appreciate hearing your views on this issue.

By the way, that is fucking great that you are sticking psychedelic chemicals up your ass, and then attending choir practice. I got a good laugh reading that. =D

And I notice the word, "writhing" mentioned in your report. I think that pretty much sums up 2C-T-21. It give you lots of energy and it just feels so good to move. 2C-T-21 + DMT on the other hand, takes writhing to a whole new level. It was orgasmic!
 
^^ I totally forgot about your experience with that combination. I'll have to give that a try before I run out of 2C-T-21. I actually haven't had a breakthrough DMT yet on its own, either, although I've had some fantastic sub-breakthrough experiences.

2C-T-21 is definitely the most pleasurable of the 2C family I've tried so far. Actually, it's probably the most pleasurable of anything psychedelic-ish I've tried aside from empathogens. I like AMT more, but AMT is a little more difficult and the rewards come from a different place.

PARooolller said:
Excellent trip report as usual..Your detailed reports are the only reason I browse this forum..I felt like I actually ingested the substances

Thanks... I'm flattered! :)
 
Xork- excellent report, as mentioned reading it makes you feel like you are experiencing everything you went through, nice job. I just have a couple of questions... So the next day, or post- high do you really still think Rosanne is the best (or nearly, or whatever you said) show on tv? That just struck me as funny for some reason.

My next question is really more general and would apply to more people than you, but do you worry about any long term toxicity or effects using these substances? Obviously with all drugs there is some element of risk and unknowns, but do you find it harder to deal with using these rc's where less is known about them? Really, I'm just curious about it, my post grad training is pharm/tox with tox being a big interest of mine.

My last question is not about sources or where to get any of these. I have my own lab and could really synth whatever I wanted. I just wonder if most people who try these combo's actually know who is doing their synth's or if it's just like everything else on the street. If that can't be answered without violating something, don't worry about it- was just wondering how close most people are to the actual chemists that would be needed to get/make this stuff.
 
I've really enjoyed Roseanne for a long time, so yes, I do still think it's one of the best (sitcoms) on TV.

As for concerns about long-term risks, of course I occasionally think about that. I also realize that the way your body feels is not an indicator of toxicity. However, I do have to say that since I've begun experimenting with unresearched psychedelic chemicals, I've never felt better emotionally or mentally. I feel great physically too; I used to be more in shape in high school but that was unrelated, due to cross country and track which I no longer do. These substances do not, in general, feel toxic at all to me when used appropriately. When I discover a substance that feels toxic (such as MDMA and a few of the RCs, and many commonly used legal and illegal drugs), I stay away from them. The majority of drugs I have tried feel more dangerous to me than the pure, uncut psychedelic chemicals I use.

As a precautionary (and life enhancement) measure, I take a stack of nootropic substances every morning, which has profound and researched protective effects on the brain.

Of course, 20 years from now I could develop brain cancer, for all I know. But it's not a big concern of mine.

As to your last question, I don't obtain these substances from the street, and am quite sure (though not always 100% ) of their authenticity, due to a few of my own tests and primarily the tests done by others who I trust on samples from the same source.
 
Xorkoth said:
since I've begun experimenting with unresearched psychedelic chemicals, I've never felt better emotionally or mentally. I feel great physically too;

That is really the impression I get reading most of your stuff, i.e. you're in a very good part of your life and these weird chems seem to be related. It just amazes me at the amount of $ and work going in to other chemicals when these are already around and really might be onto something really good. It's just interesting to read about your psy experiences- I've been pretty much 100% opiate most of my life- but so much of this is much more interesting than I would have ever thought! Thanks for answering all my questions!
 
You're welcome :)

I am at a great time in my life, due to a large number of factors. It's certainly not all psychedelic-related, but psychedelics are intricately tied in to nearly every aspect of my life. The spiritual understanding and peace that psychedelics have brought me has a lot to do with the happiness and contentedness I feel every day. Also, psychedelics were the direct catalyst for being able to shake off my depression a year and a half ago. The other part is something I mentioned in my report, which is my girlfriend and cats, which is just a perfect situation. That and my job, which I really enjoy, is totally stress-free, and is full of caring people and a friendly boss.

Anyway, I sort of agree that more focus should be put on psychedelics, and I sort of don't. On one hand, they seem to be among the safest kinds of drugs, and certainly the class of drugs that has the most potential for benefitting people. For example, modern antidepressants, although they've been a godsend for some, are dangerous substances which dramatically alter behavior and sometimes personality and cause irreversible, permanent changes to the serotonin system. They're flung about willy-nilly and create a sickening amount of profit for pharmaceutical companies. Psychedelics can create a similar effect when used appropriately (such as under the guidance of a trained professional therapist), without the dangerous and permanent mental effects. In effect, they can force a spiritual or at least personal, revealing experience, which, like any such naturally-occurring experience, can do a lot to motivate real personal changes due simply to the revelations gained during the experience. Also, I find that the afterglow of psychedelic experiences has a very balancing effect emotionally.

On the other hand, the blind fear of psychedelics in modern society runs very deep, and I think at this point that trying to introduce psychedelics to the mainstream could easily do more harm than good to the cause.
 
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Great report as usual Xork.
I dont really have anything else to say except that i really enjoyed reading this and am jealous you got to try this combination.
I remember reading about way back when andthinking i definately have to try it one day.
Hopefullt if t21 becomes more widely available ill add my input on this combo aswell.
 
Nice report. 'Twas a pleasure to read.

How much do you trip man? You have some balls. :D

You ingested a chemical you never had taken before and then went to church. Lol man that seems so rediculous to me but I am not extensively experienced. Hopefully some day Ill be as comfortable with this stuff as you are.
 
You've got to understand, though, that I've become very comfortable with psychedelic states as well as anticipating what to generally expect based on other reports from descriptive individuals. 2C-T-21 I knew to be an unthreatening substance with few outright psychedelic tendencies. I never would have done something like that with almost any other psychedelic. The only ones I'd consider going somewhere public on are 5-MeO-MiPT, AMT, AET, low-dose DOC (although that's iffy), low-dose LSD, and now 2C-T-21. And low-dose 2C-D/C/ and perhaps B.

Being that comfortable is a blessing and a curse. It's a vlessing because it makes it much easier to enter a psychdelic state and get something out of it, because there's no period of difficulty. But it's a curse because that anxiety and period of difficulty are often what prompt dramatic head changes. When you get used to it, it's not as much of a novel experience.

I've been tripping pretty often lately. I go through stages. The comfort with psychedelic states that I experience these days comes more from the fact that I've tripped quite a few times spread out over the last year and a half, and also spent at least an hour a day (usually quite a bit more) thinking about and discussing it here on Bluelight.

Basically it boils down to the fact that psychedelic anxiety is psychosomatic. The reason you feel self-conscious around people is because you're unsure of yourself. If you become comfortable enough with yourself, you can be free of that anxiety and self-consciousness around others. I mean, unless you're totally off your face, it's not like anyone else can tell unless you make it visible on your face. And if you feel comfortable, then you'll be giving off a nonthreatening vibe, whereas if you're feeling anxiety, everyone will feel it coming off of you.

Psychedelics are a great way to become more comfortable with yourself.
 
Thanks for that report, it was a great descriptive and pleasurable read.

I really liked what you were saying about how you felt so lucky to be loved by your girlfriend and kitties but how thinking of their passing was painful until you decided it's worth it to be loved. I have that combination of feelings all the time, it's the bittersweetness of love and I struggle to keep the fear of loss from holding me back. Anyway, thanks again for talking about that strange combination of feelings--it's good to know how you approached it when you were in an emotionally open state.
 
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