highandrolling
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 16, 2007
- Messages
- 55
finally im gettin my thoughts together from this trip a long time ago, our journey starts off very religious but then moves on to being insanely beautiful
setting: my wife and i at the condo, 20 mg 2c-e each
~5 oclock we each took our doses, we put on american gangster while we waited for it to kick in,
after about an hour and a half we started to feel its effects, the tv was completely misunderstandable, they were either talkin too slow or too fast. we both started feeling more and more like our bodies were rejecting this drug and it just felt like we were sick, strong hallucinations soon after that only added too much unneeded uneasiness, so went upstairs where we always feel the most comfortable, in the bedroom. the insanity began... all the lights went off, i went all into my head, as i couldnt keep my eyes open bc it was makin me feel worse, i started focusing soley on my beliefs, i couldnt think about anything but that i was not living the way i should be in God's eyes, my drug use was not what He wanted for my life. i felt so guilty, i was beggin God for forgiveness, crying out to Him, literally weeping for what seemed like an eternity but was really only only like 10-20 minutes, and when i mean eternity i mean it felt like we were in our bedroom for at least 5-6 hours. i can not remember anything from that time period, except my religious beliefs, but the insight i received from this time later down the road was greater than anything could of asked for.
all of a sudden we both popped our heads off the pillows and we just looked at each other and we knew what we were thinkin already, lets smoke a bowl, even though i was just about to not use drugs ever again, but i did find meaning to this which ill explain later. so we went downstairs and as soon as we were walkin downstairs, it was like the light at the end of tunnel, this was our path, this was where our journey was taking us, the 2c-e took us to the desert to be broken down to our very core, literally destroyed into a million pieces, and here in our living room was our babylon, we had overcome darkness and here was our light, everything was beautiful, we were seeing things thru our newborn eyes, never before have i had these kind of hallucinations. we put on good ol pink floyd live at pompeii, and being that we just saw roger waters the week before in concert on AMT, this made that choice the best. we were still glowing from the concert as it had left a huge impact on my life. i had seen this movie numerous times before, but never in this light. from the beginning with the deep breathing starting off the film, i was completely captivated. time moving so slowly, that each breath seemed to build the anticipation more and more, and creating a totally new visual field even before there was anything on the screen. so cool because when i heard the breaths, everything, i mean everything was breathing in sync, when focused on the tv it contracted to the full size of my vision, all i could see was the blackness on tv completely surrounding me, then when he breathed out, it restricted and i could see everything in the room from what seemed like miles away, but it was so cool how the visuals lined up with whatever our ears were hearing, and just like i had mentioned in another post about synthesthia, this is what that is.
as the film progressed i became more and more connected with the pink floyd, getting to know them on a personal level, eating fuckin fish and chips with them, being able to actually taste the wild fishy taste, and craving some pie, no crust. connecting with them about their equipment that was so out of this world in that time period, the fuckin equipment man... and that was just from the dialogue parts of the film...
ok so we still had this feeling of deep love for the music that was brought about by the AMT, where we truly experienced the music, and now came the next step, becoming the music. i was playing the music, i was sitting in pompeii, watching the lights move all around me, feeling my fingers stroking and grasping the strings of the guitar, feeling urges running thru all my fingertips as if the very air around me was a musical instrument, i felt the gong stick in my hands and the very vibrations running all thru my arms and upper body as i struck the gong over and over again, sending chills all through my body, feelings of the AMT were very present and that musical ecstasy was back coursing thru my veins, only this time it felt like i was the pink floyd, actually being and giving out my own creativeness to it. i had a sense of ownership, feeling like the music was mine and i was the music's. after music's very heart and being, i was one with it, its soulmate, my love.
when the movie ended we were stuck on the couch just watching the main menu for prolly an hour, just mentally reflecting on the experience we just had. my buddy had picked up 2 20mg pills from me earlier in the day and ended up taking it at the same time, not knowing till later when he called me and we had so-called conversation, he ended up taking 1 and half pills, and drove over to my house trippin balls, and when i went outside to meet him, we had our "2c-e conversation" just saying 1 or 2 words and we'd complete each others sentences, our train of thoughts just keep moving, we stare at a $20 dollar bill for like 10 mins, flippin it back and forth just amazed at this piece of paper that represented what we all are striving for, it looked magnificent, and the meaning behind the dollar gave life to it, and i could tell we were on the exact same page.
i was still feeling it pretty strong, but not as self-crushing as before and my wife was hungry so we left to go get food, when we got back to the house, we put on the doors, and for the remainder of our trip we very much enjoyed the poetic lines of jimi morrison, as the 2c-e had a very poetic flowing feeling to it, and our words felt like they flowed out like water in a stream, smooth and always changing
AMT turned music into ecstasy for the body, mind and soul, as where 2c-e turned music into physical vibrations and visuals and creativeness and tapped into all my senses and showed me senses that not even amt had shown me. it was so full of meaning, and it took me a long time to understand...
the religious part of the experience that i had was difficult for me to figure out, just that my feelings of not wanting to use drugs was so strong, but i understand now. i needed more balance in my life. i was putting my drug use ahead of my life, and life is not meant to be centered around drugs. drugs are amazing things and they show u so much, they open doors in yourself that can not be accessed, they are great teachers, and they should not be abused. exploration of them can u show the truth but you can not disrespect them, even tho they might tell u meaning in your life, they are not the reason for living, we have a greater cause. this is the greatest teacher of all the drugs i have used and i am ever so greatful to have crossed paths with this doctor of philosophy. my uncles a professor and everytime i talk to him, i feel like im left with a knowledge that i will hold on to forever, and that is just how 2c-e left me. i feel like im on the path of taking in knowledge in a different way than i had before, i feel inclinations to do things that were once just passing thoughts, and 2c-e has given me some of the wisdom i needed to become who i really am, knowing that if i were to look at myself now from when i was a child and feel satisfied and feel like im completing the circle that is me.
what a life changing experience for me, opened my eyes creatively, my desires to play music has never been so strong, being able to hear music now from a different perspective
setting: my wife and i at the condo, 20 mg 2c-e each
~5 oclock we each took our doses, we put on american gangster while we waited for it to kick in,
after about an hour and a half we started to feel its effects, the tv was completely misunderstandable, they were either talkin too slow or too fast. we both started feeling more and more like our bodies were rejecting this drug and it just felt like we were sick, strong hallucinations soon after that only added too much unneeded uneasiness, so went upstairs where we always feel the most comfortable, in the bedroom. the insanity began... all the lights went off, i went all into my head, as i couldnt keep my eyes open bc it was makin me feel worse, i started focusing soley on my beliefs, i couldnt think about anything but that i was not living the way i should be in God's eyes, my drug use was not what He wanted for my life. i felt so guilty, i was beggin God for forgiveness, crying out to Him, literally weeping for what seemed like an eternity but was really only only like 10-20 minutes, and when i mean eternity i mean it felt like we were in our bedroom for at least 5-6 hours. i can not remember anything from that time period, except my religious beliefs, but the insight i received from this time later down the road was greater than anything could of asked for.
all of a sudden we both popped our heads off the pillows and we just looked at each other and we knew what we were thinkin already, lets smoke a bowl, even though i was just about to not use drugs ever again, but i did find meaning to this which ill explain later. so we went downstairs and as soon as we were walkin downstairs, it was like the light at the end of tunnel, this was our path, this was where our journey was taking us, the 2c-e took us to the desert to be broken down to our very core, literally destroyed into a million pieces, and here in our living room was our babylon, we had overcome darkness and here was our light, everything was beautiful, we were seeing things thru our newborn eyes, never before have i had these kind of hallucinations. we put on good ol pink floyd live at pompeii, and being that we just saw roger waters the week before in concert on AMT, this made that choice the best. we were still glowing from the concert as it had left a huge impact on my life. i had seen this movie numerous times before, but never in this light. from the beginning with the deep breathing starting off the film, i was completely captivated. time moving so slowly, that each breath seemed to build the anticipation more and more, and creating a totally new visual field even before there was anything on the screen. so cool because when i heard the breaths, everything, i mean everything was breathing in sync, when focused on the tv it contracted to the full size of my vision, all i could see was the blackness on tv completely surrounding me, then when he breathed out, it restricted and i could see everything in the room from what seemed like miles away, but it was so cool how the visuals lined up with whatever our ears were hearing, and just like i had mentioned in another post about synthesthia, this is what that is.
as the film progressed i became more and more connected with the pink floyd, getting to know them on a personal level, eating fuckin fish and chips with them, being able to actually taste the wild fishy taste, and craving some pie, no crust. connecting with them about their equipment that was so out of this world in that time period, the fuckin equipment man... and that was just from the dialogue parts of the film...
ok so we still had this feeling of deep love for the music that was brought about by the AMT, where we truly experienced the music, and now came the next step, becoming the music. i was playing the music, i was sitting in pompeii, watching the lights move all around me, feeling my fingers stroking and grasping the strings of the guitar, feeling urges running thru all my fingertips as if the very air around me was a musical instrument, i felt the gong stick in my hands and the very vibrations running all thru my arms and upper body as i struck the gong over and over again, sending chills all through my body, feelings of the AMT were very present and that musical ecstasy was back coursing thru my veins, only this time it felt like i was the pink floyd, actually being and giving out my own creativeness to it. i had a sense of ownership, feeling like the music was mine and i was the music's. after music's very heart and being, i was one with it, its soulmate, my love.
when the movie ended we were stuck on the couch just watching the main menu for prolly an hour, just mentally reflecting on the experience we just had. my buddy had picked up 2 20mg pills from me earlier in the day and ended up taking it at the same time, not knowing till later when he called me and we had so-called conversation, he ended up taking 1 and half pills, and drove over to my house trippin balls, and when i went outside to meet him, we had our "2c-e conversation" just saying 1 or 2 words and we'd complete each others sentences, our train of thoughts just keep moving, we stare at a $20 dollar bill for like 10 mins, flippin it back and forth just amazed at this piece of paper that represented what we all are striving for, it looked magnificent, and the meaning behind the dollar gave life to it, and i could tell we were on the exact same page.
i was still feeling it pretty strong, but not as self-crushing as before and my wife was hungry so we left to go get food, when we got back to the house, we put on the doors, and for the remainder of our trip we very much enjoyed the poetic lines of jimi morrison, as the 2c-e had a very poetic flowing feeling to it, and our words felt like they flowed out like water in a stream, smooth and always changing
AMT turned music into ecstasy for the body, mind and soul, as where 2c-e turned music into physical vibrations and visuals and creativeness and tapped into all my senses and showed me senses that not even amt had shown me. it was so full of meaning, and it took me a long time to understand...
the religious part of the experience that i had was difficult for me to figure out, just that my feelings of not wanting to use drugs was so strong, but i understand now. i needed more balance in my life. i was putting my drug use ahead of my life, and life is not meant to be centered around drugs. drugs are amazing things and they show u so much, they open doors in yourself that can not be accessed, they are great teachers, and they should not be abused. exploration of them can u show the truth but you can not disrespect them, even tho they might tell u meaning in your life, they are not the reason for living, we have a greater cause. this is the greatest teacher of all the drugs i have used and i am ever so greatful to have crossed paths with this doctor of philosophy. my uncles a professor and everytime i talk to him, i feel like im left with a knowledge that i will hold on to forever, and that is just how 2c-e left me. i feel like im on the path of taking in knowledge in a different way than i had before, i feel inclinations to do things that were once just passing thoughts, and 2c-e has given me some of the wisdom i needed to become who i really am, knowing that if i were to look at myself now from when i was a child and feel satisfied and feel like im completing the circle that is me.
what a life changing experience for me, opened my eyes creatively, my desires to play music has never been so strong, being able to hear music now from a different perspective
