Splatt
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2001
- Messages
- 9,112
22/04/2004
Set: I have been in another one of these phases where I get too many possible chemicals in my hands, and just go a bit too hard on experimenting. Still trying to find what's missing in life in the wrong ways (by abusing psychedelic drugs). So I was not in the greatest mindset, I had DXM and MDA on two separate occasions less than five days or so ago, and to top it off I think I was starting to come down with the flu going around. So yes, not the greatest setting, but I could not contain my excitement to try this chemical in my own house, alone.
Setting: The house I live in, No one was due home until in the afternoon. I had basically six or more hours to go up then come down, and be taken on an intense psychedelic journey.
Drug(s): One capsule containing 25mg of pure 2C-B micro-crystalline powder weighed out with 0.0001 accurate scales. And lots of cannabis (probably 3 or 4 grams), before, during and after the 2C-B trip (Which is natural for me when tripping).
08:50: I swallow the 25mg capsule of 2C-B with a bit of water and a wide grin slides across my face when I knew I'd be tripping nicely within the next hour and half.
09:15: I am sitting at the computer, listening to Pink Floyd - Time, and it sounds very nice and soothing. I am not sure if this are the initial effects since I was stoned off a chop of two different hydroponic stashes. But I am noticing connection to the lyrics, a real focus on the music and how it made me feel. No sign of visuals or CEV's other than what a pot high normally produces. No feeling of that heavy headspace you get when you close your eyes on a lot of phenethylamines. Sneezing feels good
09:20: I pull a cone or two then suddenly I hear my name being called from outside. It was the next door neighbour. I walk to the kitchen window and she sees me and yells, "Now that's good music!" Commenting on Great Gig in the Sky. She commented how she saw them live ages ago and it sent shivers through her body, the same was starting to happen to me But I also got a bit paranoid as I think she might of saw me with the bong through the window, or smelt the smoke. But her comments on Pink Floyd made me think a little about all the times she's heard this house pumping out hard NRG and hardcore loud, most likely annoying the hell out of her. Then again they put fertiliser in their garden that makes our house stink like shit too though.
09:30: I now know I am on something other than pot for sure. Looking out the window I notice a lot more detail on the plants and trees around the front yard. I appreciate how beautiful and sunny this Australian Autumn day is. I feel a bit of nausea coming on though (which happened to me on the come-up the last two times). I am noticing a slight bit of dissociation as I got on my first 2C-B experience during the come-up.
09:40: My brothers room is dark but the TV is on. It's glow radiates the whole room, lighting up the walls in a vibrant manner. I notice an elevated mood, and think about how it might be possible this chemical (and/or it's analogues) may be able to serve as an anti-depressant in small non-psychedelic doses, and maybe this area should be researched. This thought was probably changed by my focus onto something else within seconds.
09:55: I am in a definitely psychedelic mindstate. Definitely coming up pretty hard now. It is hard to focus, my eyes shifting from object to object, my thought process speeding up, and confusion is starting to play a factor. I remember that 2C-B come-ups can be like this, and it starts smoothing out into beautiful, euphoric waves in no time. So I had some water and sat back down and tried to focus on the computer screen.
10:00: Running to the toilet... *Projectile Spewing* I know I left that toilet seat and lid up for a reason. 2C-B normally makes me nauseous, but I find that the trip just doesn't start without puking. I let it all out, flush, then go get a drink and a cracker to chew on to get rid of the taste. This is where it starts to get a little hazy, notes were no longer being kept since I couldn't read the words on the screen. It was too hard to focus on and they looked like unrecognisable, small characters, that were moving slowly around the screen. SO the timestamps are going to get a bit brief and estimated from now on.
10:30: Noticing quite a bit of visuals. Mostly stuff being very vibrant, or kind of alive. And a few swaying and shifting visuals. Lines and patterns are appearing on the walls, and the patterns and images are really taking on a weird ancient, tribal look. These images keep flashing on and off the walls, and I walk towards the bathroom. I am a bit worried of a bad trip, or going insane, since I got pretty close to snapping while on DXM two nights before. I walk into the bathroom, and see it. Who? I really didn't know. I stared at this blank, unidentified face for about one minute. He had eyes, nose, and features, but they were just blank, void of expression or life. It was not me, but it was what I was reflecting. He mimicked every one of my moves. I close my eyes and get an overwhelming headspace. Then I see a bunch of diagrams inside my head, blue and green arrows leading to something, then realising they're just going in loops. I open my eyes again and see my face shift and morph into other faces, still the same person, but it did definitely not feel like me. Depersonalisation? I started to panic a tony bit, but knew I was on a drug. But on psychedelics especially, fear can exist without reason.
10:45: I feel the classic "I need to get out of here" feeling, and decide to grab a bottle of water and keys and head out for a walk, to see how the outside is. Now the first thing I noticed was how bloody vibrant everything was, and how everything had extreme clarity. My mind commented how it seemed too fake for clarity though, and it is different to 2C-I clarity, more vibrant, but less connected, and more dissociated.
I start walking down my suburban street, observing the area and looking at all the pretty gardens people have put effort into making and maintaining. I continue walking and see ahead a lady doing some hedge snipping. Even though I was 50m away from her I felt this weird energy, a gravitational pull, and also related this to some visuals when I closed my eyes for a second. I don't know the lady, but I recognise her from my old high school, she used to teach remedial reading or something. Anyway I decide when I pass her I'm going to say hello and smile. I get to a couple metres in front of her and say "G'day," and hear her reply and smile back, "Hi, How are you?". This is when I replied "Good thanks!" I then snap out of whatever land I was just in, and realise I am staring at this lady, with a water bottle in my hand, probably shaking a bit from the stimulation, and all that I've said was "Good Thanks!" out loud. I totally hallucinated me saying "G'day" to her, and her replying back. Because all she said when I said 'Good thanks" was stare back at me and say, "what? what did you say sorry?" and looking very confused. I snapped back into "normal person" mode and said "How are you?" and got a reply, and quickly headed off up the road.
11:00: I sit down at a bus stop and have a rest. I notice I haven't touched the water yet, and did feel pretty dehydrated. I cannot stress enough how important it seems to stay hydrated on this chemical. It does stimulate you, and speed up heart rate, and make you sweat a lot, so keep sipping water. When I sit down I feel a tremendous amount of body chemicals rush up my body, tingling every cell. I look up at the wonderful sky and smile, and love this moment. I get up because I feel the need to get back home now, because I'm still feeling pretty confused. I avoided the lady that probably thought I was some junky by going back a different route, and just looked at flowers and gardens while I walked back home. As I am walking back, I realise I am walking, but I am not moving. I am not getting closer to anything and it felt like running slowly or on the spot in a dream. I also notice on the rest of the way home, I have quite a bit of auto-pilot going on. I'm walking, not really knowing where I'm going, but I'm trusting my own instinct and legs to get me there while my mind is occupied.
11:30: I arrive, home, unlock the doors, and get inside and feel the amazing cold of the air conditioning overtake my body. Heaven, if it ever existed. I stand in front of the air conditioner unit and take it all in, I feel my sweat turn ice cold and run down my face in ecstasy. I smoke more weed, as I have been during this whole experience. I sit down at my computer desk and check IRC conversation, still cannot really understand it all so I just sit there and close my eyes and notice the amazing CEV. I crank up some hard NRG/hardcore (Mark Ashley I think) and let the bass bang my spine. I love bass and sound on 2C-B, it is intense. You feel it, and see it too.
I close my eyes and see my inner workings via a system of machinery. These machines are all sub-systems of a bigger system, and it is kind of a theme I have going with trips. The CEV machinery is pretty detailed and it is working in relation to thoughts and my current focus, which was the music deafening me. I then see a bunch of large puzzle pieces. Each piece of this puzzle would slam down on me and fit me in the face, building layers and layers upon me. Each piece also carried an emotion, a thought, a memory. I went with this for a while until other thought patterns took up my focus. My thoughts were beginning to come more and more warped, confusing and relative to other things. I remember being stuck in quite a few thought loops, where I just kept on thinking of something related to that, related to this, and I could not stop it at all. 2C-B wasn't like this for me the first two times, so I don;t know if it is all the pot I smoked, or just the mindset. In my mind, everything must be relative, even things that are not. My mind came to a few paradoxes that it dwelled and looped on before I came to the conclusion that EVERYTHING is EVERYTHING and leave it at that!
12:00: I start seeing lots of faces flash past my vision. These faces are people I know, people I don't know my mind made up, people I used to know, and all sorts of people. It wasn't disturbing but it made me think about each individual, and it was getting a bit odd. So I got up, turned off the music and went and laid down on a couch. I close my eyes in the silence and get a rush of overwhelming emotions and thoughts, relating perfectly to a whole bunch of weird, visuals inside my head. I could not understand these visuals, but my instinct just read them. They were thoughts and emotions, and I had no real say on what was forced out to the open. I must say again, these visuals and the headspace were completely amazing. Very very hard to explain so I won't even try, but it was like the pure insight to my psyches being.
I start to get the fear again, and more overwhelming, confusing rushes through my mind and body. I really start to analyse my drug (ab)use and it starts to cut me deep. I always know I take too much sometimes, but when the trips over I normally don't do much about it. I start to fear the on-come of psychosis. I don't know why, I just feel insane, and totally not myself. I needed to do something but didn't want to face the confusion and intensity of outside again. I felt kind of useless. I decided to go have a cold shower. Cold showers always help calm a trip, normally its just the physical uncomfortness that can play with your head bit, especially being really hot and sweaty for me.
The shower was great. As usual when on a psychedelic in a shower, you feel every droplet hit you at once, each and every little one, and it's hard to get the temperature right ;-) The shower cooled me down and put me in a bit of a better mindstate. I notice I have picked up a towel already, and started drying myself. I realise that this is the same routine as always when drying myself after a shower. The exact same routine. I then notice, I am not doing this! Who is controlling these arms, and who owns them?! I was not really phased much by this, and as I searched this persons brain I had just taken over (my own) I found all his traits, likes, dislikes and hobbies. I, being an energy being only, don't have personal traits like humans and therefore did not judge anything he (I) liked or dis-liked. I was here to purely observe and document the life of this being I was in. I walk out of the bathroom and notice energy everywhere. I just felt it. I thought about how you feel this anyway when straight, but the presence of it is not as intense when tripping. Energies such as being near someone else, or another animal. Pretty much like auras.
12:45: I sit down in a reclinable lounge chair with Beatls - The White Album playing softly in the background. I focused on my breathing and breathing only. No other thoughts existed in my head and I travelled closer and closer to this feeling of nothingness but everything. I started getting really deep and while my eyes were closed, I started feeling very light and floaty and my headspace became much more bright. I felt enlightened but I do not know by who or what, but it felt like something or someone was there to guide or at least observe me. This feeling was comfortable and made me feel not so alone. What needs to be done has to be done, so why not try to feel happy about it.
I sit back down at the computer desk and talk to a friend. I talked a bit of crap and then spaced out for a bit. Where I reached this very awkward peak of my experience. It wasn't really a visual, any audio, or even feeling that I could call some type of emotion. It wasn't physical, but I surely did fucking "feel" or notice it. This is very hard to explain, but I was turned inside out. My eyes were wobbling quite a lot (A HELL of a lot more than MDMA) and then they just rolled right back.. where I felt really I had no real control, and I felt this physically, mentally and all the inbetweens of being turned inside out. I wasn't going to add this because it really does not make any sense and probably border lines some type of mental disease.. But after it happened it did not hurt, and I didn't think much of it except I laughed. One of the most impossible "feelings" (If you can even call it that) that I will ever have to describe about a psychedelic experience. I also felt the feeling of growing.
I must of got bored around time time and started scribbling on some paper, I wrote down a few weird, interesting writings I might share here:
"Energies everywhere, even when we sleep. Our pure essence in chemical form travelling around our synapses while we rest."
"The razorblade edges of my psyche deeply cutting into itself, dwelling on past, present, and future emotions as composed in one.. Emotions burst, Explode! Matter becomes partial, everything has a sharp deep cut into it, where we may focus our introspect."
"Life must be relevant. There is always going to be two sides and it is the middle of these society seeks, and is blessed as normal."
"Paranoid thoughts concluding into dilemmas which splits life and creativity into two pure evil forces interwining each other with incredible aggression into one pure ego-loss star in the cosmos inside my head."
LOL, yeah I don't really understand it now either, but it made perfect sense at the time of course.
13:30: I still felt pretty damn stimulated and felt like I could burn off some energy. I put on a hard NRG/core mixed set and started busting out to the music in my loungeroom. I feel attached to each and every beat this music has to offer. It is pure dancing your worries away music. Your mind is on pushing your body harder and harder to the beat and notes, than you just don't have time to worry! But the music was becoming much more intense, with insane clarity. I felt my body express random feelings of pain, happiness, energy, and a range of emotions to each beat the music pumped through my dimension. Dancing is life.
After dancing in complete euphoria for about twenty minutes pretty hard, I decided to sit down for a bit and get some water in to me. The music still pounding my ears and sending rushes down my spine. The beat stops for a acid-trancey build-up. Each euphoric note is imprinting harmony into my brain. Layers upon layers of vast random knowledge caused by the relation to sound to surface makes me reach some sort of revelation peak. I open my eyes to the new world and come back to it with something else, some more psychedelic-induced knowledge and opinions which I cannot really recall at this moment. (I need a tape recorder!!) A hard-style beat continues onto the next track and I close my eyes and get lost in the punch then grind. I picture two little men at the top of my skull, digging into it one at a time with a big pick each.
14:25: I get a little something to eat, and notice I feel a bit drained. Probably did not keep myself as hydrated as I should, or maybe I just shouldn't of tripped while I was sick. I go to the reclining lounge chair and soak up the waves of the smooth come down. Now it is not as near as smooth as 2C-I, but it is pretty smooth. I picture a relaxing white-sanded clear beach, the waves slowly coming up to the shore, leaving more and more pebbles of reality on my shore. I was coming down but I was still altered.
I flick through channels and just have a bit of a quiet chat. I am in a very comfortable position, and fade off to nothingness. It was pleasant this time though, not so demanding and INTENSE. I must of went to sleep shortly after this, because I was woken up at 16:00 by my father. He somehow guessed I had been smoking pot during the day in his house, and it made me a bit uncomfortable for a bit. I didn't wanna handle any lectures or anything like that at the time. So my brother drove me to a friends, where I had planned to watch DVDs with a few mates that night.
I wasn't feeling completely sober but I could function pretty much 100% normally. Few mental effects and that after-glow feeling are still present, but I am potentiating any come-down effects by smoking lots and lots of cannabis. There was a bit of a weird time as I was sitting on the couch at my friends, when I faded back into this void, this nothingness, and nearly has to jump a bit out of my seat to come back.. But I think I was just drifting off. Needed sleep.
Conclusion:
2C-B is still a magic chemical, but I don't really know what to think of it. It can be fun, and it can be deep. Introspective, or nothing! The trip is what you make of it, and how you theme it. Because I'd been doing a fair bit of psychedelic drugs recently, I think I copped a bit of a different side of 2C-B, because my head was trying to tell me to slow down! But back to themes, if you think you are seeking something, you will most likely have a trip focused on that. Whatever you are seeking could or could not be there, and the deeper you go trying to find it, the more lost you get. Psychedelic journey's MUST be spaced apart for them to be worked into your life, as it is not during the trip a-lot of life changing experiences happen. It sure is surfaced (with a lot of other things) when tripping, but it is how you fit it into normal life is the part that counts. That is when it really is a life changing experience.
This chemical can have a fair bit of annoying restless anyway. You need to do something, but do not know what. I always believe outlets can save any trip, even bad ones. Taking your mind off certain shit your dwelling on by painting, drawing or writing can really, really help. Just express those thoughts, emotions and feelings inside your head and grasp to something you know and love and it will be alright. Focus that energy on what will benefit you.
Anyway, the next day was pretty fine. Although in the morning there were a few weird stages where I just zoned out and got a bit confused and weirded out, but as always I was stoned also I do not plan on taking a psychedelic for a while, I really do think this has sealed my journey's for now. I have a whole life time a-head of me to explore these mindstates, why do I need to do it all NOW and fuck my head up in the process?
Share this gem, it might not be as deep as 2C-i or 2C-E, but it really is still special. Just make sure you have something to do, or a loved special one to curl up with
Set: I have been in another one of these phases where I get too many possible chemicals in my hands, and just go a bit too hard on experimenting. Still trying to find what's missing in life in the wrong ways (by abusing psychedelic drugs). So I was not in the greatest mindset, I had DXM and MDA on two separate occasions less than five days or so ago, and to top it off I think I was starting to come down with the flu going around. So yes, not the greatest setting, but I could not contain my excitement to try this chemical in my own house, alone.
Setting: The house I live in, No one was due home until in the afternoon. I had basically six or more hours to go up then come down, and be taken on an intense psychedelic journey.
Drug(s): One capsule containing 25mg of pure 2C-B micro-crystalline powder weighed out with 0.0001 accurate scales. And lots of cannabis (probably 3 or 4 grams), before, during and after the 2C-B trip (Which is natural for me when tripping).
08:50: I swallow the 25mg capsule of 2C-B with a bit of water and a wide grin slides across my face when I knew I'd be tripping nicely within the next hour and half.
09:15: I am sitting at the computer, listening to Pink Floyd - Time, and it sounds very nice and soothing. I am not sure if this are the initial effects since I was stoned off a chop of two different hydroponic stashes. But I am noticing connection to the lyrics, a real focus on the music and how it made me feel. No sign of visuals or CEV's other than what a pot high normally produces. No feeling of that heavy headspace you get when you close your eyes on a lot of phenethylamines. Sneezing feels good
09:20: I pull a cone or two then suddenly I hear my name being called from outside. It was the next door neighbour. I walk to the kitchen window and she sees me and yells, "Now that's good music!" Commenting on Great Gig in the Sky. She commented how she saw them live ages ago and it sent shivers through her body, the same was starting to happen to me
But I also got a bit paranoid as I think she might of saw me with the bong through the window, or smelt the smoke. But her comments on Pink Floyd made me think a little about all the times she's heard this house pumping out hard NRG and hardcore loud, most likely annoying the hell out of her. Then again they put fertiliser in their garden that makes our house stink like shit too though. 09:30: I now know I am on something other than pot for sure. Looking out the window I notice a lot more detail on the plants and trees around the front yard. I appreciate how beautiful and sunny this Australian Autumn day is. I feel a bit of nausea coming on though (which happened to me on the come-up the last two times). I am noticing a slight bit of dissociation as I got on my first 2C-B experience during the come-up.
09:40: My brothers room is dark but the TV is on. It's glow radiates the whole room, lighting up the walls in a vibrant manner. I notice an elevated mood, and think about how it might be possible this chemical (and/or it's analogues) may be able to serve as an anti-depressant in small non-psychedelic doses, and maybe this area should be researched. This thought was probably changed by my focus onto something else within seconds.
09:55: I am in a definitely psychedelic mindstate. Definitely coming up pretty hard now. It is hard to focus, my eyes shifting from object to object, my thought process speeding up, and confusion is starting to play a factor. I remember that 2C-B come-ups can be like this, and it starts smoothing out into beautiful, euphoric waves in no time. So I had some water and sat back down and tried to focus on the computer screen.
10:00: Running to the toilet... *Projectile Spewing* I know I left that toilet seat and lid up for a reason. 2C-B normally makes me nauseous, but I find that the trip just doesn't start without puking. I let it all out, flush, then go get a drink and a cracker to chew on to get rid of the taste. This is where it starts to get a little hazy, notes were no longer being kept since I couldn't read the words on the screen. It was too hard to focus on and they looked like unrecognisable, small characters, that were moving slowly around the screen. SO the timestamps are going to get a bit brief and estimated from now on.
10:30: Noticing quite a bit of visuals. Mostly stuff being very vibrant, or kind of alive. And a few swaying and shifting visuals. Lines and patterns are appearing on the walls, and the patterns and images are really taking on a weird ancient, tribal look. These images keep flashing on and off the walls, and I walk towards the bathroom. I am a bit worried of a bad trip, or going insane, since I got pretty close to snapping while on DXM two nights before. I walk into the bathroom, and see it. Who? I really didn't know. I stared at this blank, unidentified face for about one minute. He had eyes, nose, and features, but they were just blank, void of expression or life. It was not me, but it was what I was reflecting. He mimicked every one of my moves. I close my eyes and get an overwhelming headspace. Then I see a bunch of diagrams inside my head, blue and green arrows leading to something, then realising they're just going in loops. I open my eyes again and see my face shift and morph into other faces, still the same person, but it did definitely not feel like me. Depersonalisation? I started to panic a tony bit, but knew I was on a drug. But on psychedelics especially, fear can exist without reason.
10:45: I feel the classic "I need to get out of here" feeling, and decide to grab a bottle of water and keys and head out for a walk, to see how the outside is. Now the first thing I noticed was how bloody vibrant everything was, and how everything had extreme clarity. My mind commented how it seemed too fake for clarity though, and it is different to 2C-I clarity, more vibrant, but less connected, and more dissociated.
I start walking down my suburban street, observing the area and looking at all the pretty gardens people have put effort into making and maintaining. I continue walking and see ahead a lady doing some hedge snipping. Even though I was 50m away from her I felt this weird energy, a gravitational pull, and also related this to some visuals when I closed my eyes for a second. I don't know the lady, but I recognise her from my old high school, she used to teach remedial reading or something. Anyway I decide when I pass her I'm going to say hello and smile. I get to a couple metres in front of her and say "G'day," and hear her reply and smile back, "Hi, How are you?". This is when I replied "Good thanks!" I then snap out of whatever land I was just in, and realise I am staring at this lady, with a water bottle in my hand, probably shaking a bit from the stimulation, and all that I've said was "Good Thanks!" out loud. I totally hallucinated me saying "G'day" to her, and her replying back. Because all she said when I said 'Good thanks" was stare back at me and say, "what? what did you say sorry?" and looking very confused. I snapped back into "normal person" mode and said "How are you?" and got a reply, and quickly headed off up the road.
11:00: I sit down at a bus stop and have a rest. I notice I haven't touched the water yet, and did feel pretty dehydrated. I cannot stress enough how important it seems to stay hydrated on this chemical. It does stimulate you, and speed up heart rate, and make you sweat a lot, so keep sipping water. When I sit down I feel a tremendous amount of body chemicals rush up my body, tingling every cell. I look up at the wonderful sky and smile, and love this moment. I get up because I feel the need to get back home now, because I'm still feeling pretty confused. I avoided the lady that probably thought I was some junky by going back a different route, and just looked at flowers and gardens while I walked back home. As I am walking back, I realise I am walking, but I am not moving. I am not getting closer to anything and it felt like running slowly or on the spot in a dream. I also notice on the rest of the way home, I have quite a bit of auto-pilot going on. I'm walking, not really knowing where I'm going, but I'm trusting my own instinct and legs to get me there while my mind is occupied.
11:30: I arrive, home, unlock the doors, and get inside and feel the amazing cold of the air conditioning overtake my body. Heaven, if it ever existed. I stand in front of the air conditioner unit and take it all in, I feel my sweat turn ice cold and run down my face in ecstasy. I smoke more weed, as I have been during this whole experience. I sit down at my computer desk and check IRC conversation, still cannot really understand it all so I just sit there and close my eyes and notice the amazing CEV. I crank up some hard NRG/hardcore (Mark Ashley I think) and let the bass bang my spine. I love bass and sound on 2C-B, it is intense. You feel it, and see it too.
I close my eyes and see my inner workings via a system of machinery. These machines are all sub-systems of a bigger system, and it is kind of a theme I have going with trips. The CEV machinery is pretty detailed and it is working in relation to thoughts and my current focus, which was the music deafening me. I then see a bunch of large puzzle pieces. Each piece of this puzzle would slam down on me and fit me in the face, building layers and layers upon me. Each piece also carried an emotion, a thought, a memory. I went with this for a while until other thought patterns took up my focus. My thoughts were beginning to come more and more warped, confusing and relative to other things. I remember being stuck in quite a few thought loops, where I just kept on thinking of something related to that, related to this, and I could not stop it at all. 2C-B wasn't like this for me the first two times, so I don;t know if it is all the pot I smoked, or just the mindset. In my mind, everything must be relative, even things that are not. My mind came to a few paradoxes that it dwelled and looped on before I came to the conclusion that EVERYTHING is EVERYTHING and leave it at that!
12:00: I start seeing lots of faces flash past my vision. These faces are people I know, people I don't know my mind made up, people I used to know, and all sorts of people. It wasn't disturbing but it made me think about each individual, and it was getting a bit odd. So I got up, turned off the music and went and laid down on a couch. I close my eyes in the silence and get a rush of overwhelming emotions and thoughts, relating perfectly to a whole bunch of weird, visuals inside my head. I could not understand these visuals, but my instinct just read them. They were thoughts and emotions, and I had no real say on what was forced out to the open. I must say again, these visuals and the headspace were completely amazing. Very very hard to explain so I won't even try, but it was like the pure insight to my psyches being.
I start to get the fear again, and more overwhelming, confusing rushes through my mind and body. I really start to analyse my drug (ab)use and it starts to cut me deep. I always know I take too much sometimes, but when the trips over I normally don't do much about it. I start to fear the on-come of psychosis. I don't know why, I just feel insane, and totally not myself. I needed to do something but didn't want to face the confusion and intensity of outside again. I felt kind of useless. I decided to go have a cold shower. Cold showers always help calm a trip, normally its just the physical uncomfortness that can play with your head bit, especially being really hot and sweaty for me.
The shower was great. As usual when on a psychedelic in a shower, you feel every droplet hit you at once, each and every little one, and it's hard to get the temperature right ;-) The shower cooled me down and put me in a bit of a better mindstate. I notice I have picked up a towel already, and started drying myself. I realise that this is the same routine as always when drying myself after a shower. The exact same routine. I then notice, I am not doing this! Who is controlling these arms, and who owns them?! I was not really phased much by this, and as I searched this persons brain I had just taken over (my own) I found all his traits, likes, dislikes and hobbies. I, being an energy being only, don't have personal traits like humans and therefore did not judge anything he (I) liked or dis-liked. I was here to purely observe and document the life of this being I was in. I walk out of the bathroom and notice energy everywhere. I just felt it. I thought about how you feel this anyway when straight, but the presence of it is not as intense when tripping. Energies such as being near someone else, or another animal. Pretty much like auras.
12:45: I sit down in a reclinable lounge chair with Beatls - The White Album playing softly in the background. I focused on my breathing and breathing only. No other thoughts existed in my head and I travelled closer and closer to this feeling of nothingness but everything. I started getting really deep and while my eyes were closed, I started feeling very light and floaty and my headspace became much more bright. I felt enlightened but I do not know by who or what, but it felt like something or someone was there to guide or at least observe me. This feeling was comfortable and made me feel not so alone. What needs to be done has to be done, so why not try to feel happy about it.
I sit back down at the computer desk and talk to a friend. I talked a bit of crap and then spaced out for a bit. Where I reached this very awkward peak of my experience. It wasn't really a visual, any audio, or even feeling that I could call some type of emotion. It wasn't physical, but I surely did fucking "feel" or notice it. This is very hard to explain, but I was turned inside out. My eyes were wobbling quite a lot (A HELL of a lot more than MDMA) and then they just rolled right back.. where I felt really I had no real control, and I felt this physically, mentally and all the inbetweens of being turned inside out. I wasn't going to add this because it really does not make any sense and probably border lines some type of mental disease.. But after it happened it did not hurt, and I didn't think much of it except I laughed. One of the most impossible "feelings" (If you can even call it that) that I will ever have to describe about a psychedelic experience. I also felt the feeling of growing.
I must of got bored around time time and started scribbling on some paper, I wrote down a few weird, interesting writings I might share here:
"Energies everywhere, even when we sleep. Our pure essence in chemical form travelling around our synapses while we rest."
"The razorblade edges of my psyche deeply cutting into itself, dwelling on past, present, and future emotions as composed in one.. Emotions burst, Explode! Matter becomes partial, everything has a sharp deep cut into it, where we may focus our introspect."
"Life must be relevant. There is always going to be two sides and it is the middle of these society seeks, and is blessed as normal."
"Paranoid thoughts concluding into dilemmas which splits life and creativity into two pure evil forces interwining each other with incredible aggression into one pure ego-loss star in the cosmos inside my head."
LOL, yeah I don't really understand it now either, but it made perfect sense at the time of course.
13:30: I still felt pretty damn stimulated and felt like I could burn off some energy. I put on a hard NRG/core mixed set and started busting out to the music in my loungeroom. I feel attached to each and every beat this music has to offer. It is pure dancing your worries away music. Your mind is on pushing your body harder and harder to the beat and notes, than you just don't have time to worry! But the music was becoming much more intense, with insane clarity. I felt my body express random feelings of pain, happiness, energy, and a range of emotions to each beat the music pumped through my dimension. Dancing is life.
After dancing in complete euphoria for about twenty minutes pretty hard, I decided to sit down for a bit and get some water in to me. The music still pounding my ears and sending rushes down my spine. The beat stops for a acid-trancey build-up. Each euphoric note is imprinting harmony into my brain. Layers upon layers of vast random knowledge caused by the relation to sound to surface makes me reach some sort of revelation peak. I open my eyes to the new world and come back to it with something else, some more psychedelic-induced knowledge and opinions which I cannot really recall at this moment.
(I need a tape recorder!!) A hard-style beat continues onto the next track and I close my eyes and get lost in the punch then grind. I picture two little men at the top of my skull, digging into it one at a time with a big pick each. 14:25: I get a little something to eat, and notice I feel a bit drained. Probably did not keep myself as hydrated as I should, or maybe I just shouldn't of tripped while I was sick. I go to the reclining lounge chair and soak up the waves of the smooth come down. Now it is not as near as smooth as 2C-I, but it is pretty smooth. I picture a relaxing white-sanded clear beach, the waves slowly coming up to the shore, leaving more and more pebbles of reality on my shore. I was coming down but I was still altered.
I flick through channels and just have a bit of a quiet chat. I am in a very comfortable position, and fade off to nothingness. It was pleasant this time though, not so demanding and INTENSE. I must of went to sleep shortly after this, because I was woken up at 16:00 by my father. He somehow guessed I had been smoking pot during the day in his house, and it made me a bit uncomfortable for a bit. I didn't wanna handle any lectures or anything like that at the time. So my brother drove me to a friends, where I had planned to watch DVDs with a few mates that night.
I wasn't feeling completely sober but I could function pretty much 100% normally. Few mental effects and that after-glow feeling are still present, but I am potentiating any come-down effects by smoking lots and lots of cannabis. There was a bit of a weird time as I was sitting on the couch at my friends, when I faded back into this void, this nothingness, and nearly has to jump a bit out of my seat to come back.. But I think I was just drifting off. Needed sleep.
Conclusion:
2C-B is still a magic chemical, but I don't really know what to think of it. It can be fun, and it can be deep. Introspective, or nothing! The trip is what you make of it, and how you theme it. Because I'd been doing a fair bit of psychedelic drugs recently, I think I copped a bit of a different side of 2C-B, because my head was trying to tell me to slow down! But back to themes, if you think you are seeking something, you will most likely have a trip focused on that. Whatever you are seeking could or could not be there, and the deeper you go trying to find it, the more lost you get. Psychedelic journey's MUST be spaced apart for them to be worked into your life, as it is not during the trip a-lot of life changing experiences happen. It sure is surfaced (with a lot of other things) when tripping, but it is how you fit it into normal life is the part that counts. That is when it really is a life changing experience.
This chemical can have a fair bit of annoying restless anyway. You need to do something, but do not know what. I always believe outlets can save any trip, even bad ones. Taking your mind off certain shit your dwelling on by painting, drawing or writing can really, really help. Just express those thoughts, emotions and feelings inside your head and grasp to something you know and love and it will be alright. Focus that energy on what will benefit you.
Anyway, the next day was pretty fine. Although in the morning there were a few weird stages where I just zoned out and got a bit confused and weirded out, but as always I was stoned also
I do not plan on taking a psychedelic for a while, I really do think this has sealed my journey's for now. I have a whole life time a-head of me to explore these mindstates, why do I need to do it all NOW and fuck my head up in the process? Share this gem, it might not be as deep as 2C-i or 2C-E, but it really is still special. Just make sure you have something to do, or a loved special one to curl up with
Nice report.
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