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23 y/o virgin needs help!!

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DarkGreen

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Joined
Sep 17, 2015
Messages
5
So I am 23 y/o and never had any penetrated sex and haven't dated anyone in 4 years. I am tired of masturbating and want to have real orgasms with a guy. But I don't know how to go about this. I am thinking of going on tinder and swipe right for every guy and go on asking about if they want to be a friend with benefit because I don't want to date anyone now I just want to have sex. And I don't think I can ask these types of questions in person as I'm a little bit shy with strangers. What do you guys think about this? Also, I am somewhat fat, I am 5"7 and 180lbs. Do guys really care how the girl they are having sex with looks? I don't look very feminine because I sometimes don't want to dress up, and I like to wear sports bra instead of the regular bra, and I certainly don't want to use the energy to dress up to meet some guy for sex if that's all we were ever going to do. Please give me some advice on what do you think about this and how to best lose my virginity and guys please comment whether or not you would respond to this kind of proposal with my type of girls. any advice would be very much appreciated.
 
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a lot of men will fuck almost anything, dear. youre not even that fat. if you must get this over with, or if youre sure it's what you want, try the tinder thing, or hit bars etc. will this do anything for your self esteem, though? or is it for fun? only you know that, i suppose.

be safe, not just with condoms, but also with meeting random men.

and it's orgASM. you're an organism.
 
Sorry the orgasm got autocorrected. Yea I am just trying to have fun since I didn't hold out my virginity for the right man, I just never had the opportunity to do it. And I don't believe virginity hold more significant meanings for women than men.
 
I think part of the problem is that I don't like wearing dresses. I normally dressed like a tomboy and that's why I am trying to use the tinder thing since I don't have to put on a skirt to make a pass. And to me if I am not going to be romantically involve with a guy I don't want to put much effort into what to wear. Is that a problem with men?
 
This might sound a bit harsh but. What's the point, the sex your seeking (again no offence intended) will not feel the same as say passionate sex with someone you have mutual feelings and love for. Example I have a friend he's single and he dislikes sex if he isn't in a relationship. He says it's boring there's no feeling to it it's just sex. Yes it feels good but there's no connection. Like having a 1 night stand or sex with a prostitute. I really do hope you find what your looking for.
 
Personally, and this is purely my opinion, but is it possible you're making too much of this? I'm a little amazed nobodies hinted that they'd want to have sex with you for even this long. I don't think the dresses thing is why, I mostly hate dresses too and I've had plenty of guys express interest. I don't think it's the weight thing either cause that's really not that much relatively speaking. Is it possible your sending signals of disinterest? Cause that's the only explanation I've got.

Anyhow, I have absolutely no doubt that you could get laid if you wanted to easily enough. Got any guy acquaintances you could ask?

I would recommend losing it with someone you have a chance of having a relationship with, I didn't and I kinda regret it a little. But hey that's just me. It's your life. Just express interest and I'm sure you'll have little difficulty.
 
Appearances aren't everything but they are important imo . you say you are "somewhat" fat, and that you are a "tomboy" that to me sounds fine. Sure there will be men out there with incredibly high standards who want to fuck a girl who looks like a model but then there are plenty who would be more than happy to hook up with an average looking girl.

With that being said your description of yourself isn't all that detailed and for all I know you could be quite unnatractive (not trying to be rude, just realistic as I have no clue what you look like). There has to be some level of sexual attractiveness in order for another guy to be interested in hooking up. If you think that your appearance is fine then maybe jessFR has a point in asking about your demeanor.

I would try and maybe meet some guys in real life, not over an app as I think it would be good for you to come out of your shell. With that being said do what makes you comfortable. As far as loosing your virginity to someone whom you don't care much about, only you can truly decide whether that is a good idea or not. Personally I think it would be best to lose it with someone whom you have atleast somewhat of a connection with as it will be more meaningful.
 
Put yourself on tinder and lose virginity within 4 hours

There are guys who care about looks and stuff but there are many many more desperate guys that will fuck anything
 
JessFR said:
Personally, and this is purely my opinion, but is it possible you're making too much of this? I'm a little amazed nobodies hinted that they'd want to have sex with you for even this long. I don't think the dresses thing is why, I mostly hate dresses too and I've had plenty of guys express interest. I don't think it's the weight thing either cause that's really not that much relatively speaking. Is it possible your sending signals of disinterest? Cause that's the only explanation I've got.

Anyhow, I have absolutely no doubt that you could get laid if you wanted to easily enough. Got any guy acquaintances you could ask?

I would recommend losing it with someone you have a chance of having a relationship with, I didn't and I kinda regret it a little. But hey that's just me. It's your life. Just express interest and I'm sure you'll have little difficulty.
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I actually have no idea what signals I am sending since I am really bad at this kind of stuff. I just tend to treat everyone the same and probably that's the main reason. As for guy acquaintances, I don't have many guy friends, and the ones I have are either have girl friends or I am good friends with them. And I value my friendships very much, I don't want to lose my friends one day because of sex. That's why I think having sex with strangers will work out best since I won't be sad if it all gone bad.
 
DarkGreen said:
I actually have no idea what signals I am sending since I am really bad at this kind of stuff. I just tend to treat everyone the same and probably that's the main reason. As for guy acquaintances, I don't have many guy friends, and the ones I have are either have girl friends or I am good friends with them. And I value my friendships very much, I don't want to lose my friends one day because of sex. That's why I think having sex with strangers will work out best since I won't be sad if it all gone bad.
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Im not sure you want to just start trying to hook up with complete strangers. Lots of people have STDs and everything else. Preferably find someone you are comfortable enough with to get tested or better yet, is a virgin too. It would surely suck to get a STD your first time. Don't just hook up with the first guy that hits on you. I think most people like their first time to mean a little bit more than just sex. Not everybody but don't rush into it without using your head first. There are plenty of guys that would have sex with you I'm sure. Most guys don't care about looks and for all I know you are down playing yourself. Showing a guy you are interested helps too. If a guy thinks he has a chance, most of the time they take it. Just sayin.
 
^yep agree with this, it'll suck for sure if you contracted a big fat disease. Is it really that important to lose your virginity? My opinion may be different, but it is much better to lose your virginity to someone you are in love with. Don't rush girl cause I for sure regretted it and wished I can have my first time back with a special someone. It will be more meaningful to me. Who cares really if you're a virgin? I would be proud of it, I guess this comes from my background and culture, but I was young back then like you and had a different mentality but looking back now to my past actions, this is one of the things I surely regret.
 
DarkGreen said:
I actually have no idea what signals I am sending since I am really bad at this kind of stuff. I just tend to treat everyone the same and probably that's the main reason. As for guy acquaintances, I don't have many guy friends, and the ones I have are either have girl friends or I am good friends with them. And I value my friendships very much, I don't want to lose my friends one day because of sex. That's why I think having sex with strangers will work out best since I won't be sad if it all gone bad.
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I understand, that's why I said guy acquaintances, someone where it wouldn't matter too much if you didn't see them again. But is also not a total stranger.
 
Thanks everyone for your advice and suggestions, I truly appreciate it. Right now my main concern is the safety issue that many of you have pointed out. I will rethink twice about what I really want and then decide what to do next.
 
Sex with strangers/people you barely know is not that much better than masturbation. Trust me. It's the passionate, lovemaking where you are tearing each other apart that really feels good. Might as well just get an ohmibod and be a cam girl and stay a virgin.
 
Its mixed. Use a condom - stranger or someone you are dating. As you get older - the more difficult is is to get laid. But even fat people can get laid. Some fat people are married to thin ones.
For health reasons, lose the weight - I need to do so myself. Eat better, work out. You'll look better, you'll feel better. You don't have to wear a dress or skirt... but at least look feminine.

You can casually date someone for sex, so there is some sort of "knowing who you are". I've done dozens of one-night stands. And some are fun, some suck, some are worse than masturbation.

You can also look up a chart and see how much YOU should weight. Here: http://www.healthstatus.com/calculate/ideal-healthy-weight

The calculator says I should be 165lbs, but my build says otherwise. 185~190lbs is comfortable and I'm not starving. I have 45 lbs to lose.

Losing 20 lbs or so, you'll feel better and get health benefits.
 
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