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1st post of a Tabletop warrior

themarsvolta

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 31, 2016
Messages
2
Hello Bluelight! So glad I have finally got around to registering. I'm 28 and have worked as a Communications Data Tech for the last 8 years but currently on hiatus as I was given a great opportunity to work in one of the states helpful MMJ dispensaries for a short stint, but am still active in the compassionate care community. Drug useage and poverty long have been a part of my life, even before bringing both about on my own accord, as growing up to massive drug/sex parties hosted by my late addict morher, more than inspired a curiosity in me for all mind altering compounds. I would certainly say that I was slated to be an addict from day one, due in fact to many reasons, such as the clouds of weed smoke that were always blown into my face starting from me still unable to see over the top rail of my playpen. This gradually increased to my 1st time dropping acid at 12 years old , then given my first hit of crack from my own mother only 3 years later. After this, getting shot up with crack for the 1st time by my older brother(who passed away even before my mother) the rest is history of what seems like an endless barrage of pain and dissapointment in my ongoing search for what would be powerful enough to tear a mother's instinctual need to care for her children, away and able to be supplemented. All the while I have been creating a Tabletop binge user out of myself. A few Positive things about me, I'm a good musician and multi-instrumentalist, have great work ethics even as an addict, and have a very open and loving heart that often leads to my misfortune. That's basically me. Thanks for listening and I look forward to contributing to all the great content here.
 
I met one other person in my life that had such a horrendous early childhood and I met him during his long struggle to untangle all the trust issues associated with that experience. You are a warrior all right--it takes a lot of courage to embrace that level of abuse. I am sorry that anyone had to live that but glad that you found your way to registering an account. I hope that you will feel welcome in any of the Recovery forums as well as the rest of the site. Addiction and all its underpinnings (low self-worth, shame, fatalism) have led many a mother to abandon or abuse their children but not usually to the extent that you experienced.
 
@herbavore It's incredibly comforting to have the 1st comment on my 1st thread be of such kind and meaningful sentiment and I thank you sincerely
 
Hi and welcome mars! I've got a somewhat similar history, parentally anyways, and there's a lot of us here with similar history's so ur definitely not alone here at bluelight! Great to have another soldier here, cya around the site!!!
 
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