At this point, I can no longer pretend I am in opioid withdrawal. Here's roughly where I am in the past two weeks [link below shows much more detail, but I'll keep this one short]:
Week 1: 13mg methadone midway through. Otherwise, nothing.
Week 2: 1mg Suboxone daily.
I am thinking of using 1mg Xanax daily for a week, and then being done with it all. I MAY allow myself 3mg more Suboxone [1mg daily for three days] after the Xanax just to make ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN I am not addicted to Xanax...but then at some point I MUST let go of this.
For the record, I started smoking cigarettes in early July of 2018, at age 36! I smoked 22 cigarettes in May, 19 cigarettes in June, and finally FOUR cigarettes in July when I finally realized "I'm not addicted to cigarettes! And I possibly never was!"
It's almost embarrassing looking back now.
I'm thinking at this point, I want to rotate opiates [Oxycontin or Hydromorph, swallowed or intranasal] on Sunday, and then 2mg of Suboxone of Sunday/Monday the following week, and then increase that to rotating 10 days between both rather than a week, and then rotate opiates and Suboxone every TWO weeks [ultimately doing opiates once a month, and Suboxone once a month], and then FINALLY [before the new year], get to a system where I am doing ONE opiate day per MONTH [if not less].
I moderated opiates between 2007 and 2016, even taking two periods of two years off during that time. I feel like I'm finally getting back to a point where I'm just about there. I'm not quite there yet, but after passing week and month, I feel less tempted to use, and tempted to use less when I use.
I'm not saying I'm trying to quit completely - just harm reduce, exercise moderation by using infrequently, and ensuring my tolerance is always at a "virginal" level.
I have used hydromorphone twice in the past month, and for the past two months, I've been at maybe 5mg of methadone a month. My tolerance is extremely low, but I'm not quite yet where I want to be. I'm just very close.
Am I right to say that I shouldn't experience much withdrawal from 1mg Suboxone daily for one week, and that 1mg [ish] of Xanax daily for a week should help me get through that?
I'll put it this way - I was going 48 hours between doses of under 1.5mg of methadone, and when I took it, it felt STRONG, and made me sleep like a baby.
If I achieve my goal, I am thinking of having a small quantity of opiates on new year's day [DAY, not EVE - too many people overdo it on New Year's Eve and die - so I prefer doing it on a chill day, without any pressure to use in a higher quantity], and then go until June 1st without using anything.
Again, I moderated opiates for nine years before life things produced the perfect storm for me to be addicted. Those life problems are no longer here, and I just don't want to use a lot any more. But I feel like I sense the slightest bit of withdrawal, and on those days [it comes in waves], I worry about relapse.
Unless someone tells me otherwise [and keeping in mind I have no addiction to benzodiazepines], I would like to try 5-7 days on low dose Xanax, followed by another 1-2 or 3 days on 1mg Suboxone daily, then to try to go one full week before using, and to keep putting more and more space.
I am highly open-minded to advice on this. I'm doing quite well, and I do NOTHING except opiates [I smoked very little, and for a short period well into my adult life]. I don't even eat junk food [I am a competitive lightweight strongman].
Here is my other thread - gosh, I have a hard time keeping my posts short:
www.bluelight.org
Thank you for any input you may have.
Week 1: 13mg methadone midway through. Otherwise, nothing.
Week 2: 1mg Suboxone daily.
I am thinking of using 1mg Xanax daily for a week, and then being done with it all. I MAY allow myself 3mg more Suboxone [1mg daily for three days] after the Xanax just to make ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN I am not addicted to Xanax...but then at some point I MUST let go of this.
For the record, I started smoking cigarettes in early July of 2018, at age 36! I smoked 22 cigarettes in May, 19 cigarettes in June, and finally FOUR cigarettes in July when I finally realized "I'm not addicted to cigarettes! And I possibly never was!"
It's almost embarrassing looking back now.
I'm thinking at this point, I want to rotate opiates [Oxycontin or Hydromorph, swallowed or intranasal] on Sunday, and then 2mg of Suboxone of Sunday/Monday the following week, and then increase that to rotating 10 days between both rather than a week, and then rotate opiates and Suboxone every TWO weeks [ultimately doing opiates once a month, and Suboxone once a month], and then FINALLY [before the new year], get to a system where I am doing ONE opiate day per MONTH [if not less].
I moderated opiates between 2007 and 2016, even taking two periods of two years off during that time. I feel like I'm finally getting back to a point where I'm just about there. I'm not quite there yet, but after passing week and month, I feel less tempted to use, and tempted to use less when I use.
I'm not saying I'm trying to quit completely - just harm reduce, exercise moderation by using infrequently, and ensuring my tolerance is always at a "virginal" level.
I have used hydromorphone twice in the past month, and for the past two months, I've been at maybe 5mg of methadone a month. My tolerance is extremely low, but I'm not quite yet where I want to be. I'm just very close.
Am I right to say that I shouldn't experience much withdrawal from 1mg Suboxone daily for one week, and that 1mg [ish] of Xanax daily for a week should help me get through that?
I'll put it this way - I was going 48 hours between doses of under 1.5mg of methadone, and when I took it, it felt STRONG, and made me sleep like a baby.
If I achieve my goal, I am thinking of having a small quantity of opiates on new year's day [DAY, not EVE - too many people overdo it on New Year's Eve and die - so I prefer doing it on a chill day, without any pressure to use in a higher quantity], and then go until June 1st without using anything.
Again, I moderated opiates for nine years before life things produced the perfect storm for me to be addicted. Those life problems are no longer here, and I just don't want to use a lot any more. But I feel like I sense the slightest bit of withdrawal, and on those days [it comes in waves], I worry about relapse.
Unless someone tells me otherwise [and keeping in mind I have no addiction to benzodiazepines], I would like to try 5-7 days on low dose Xanax, followed by another 1-2 or 3 days on 1mg Suboxone daily, then to try to go one full week before using, and to keep putting more and more space.
I am highly open-minded to advice on this. I'm doing quite well, and I do NOTHING except opiates [I smoked very little, and for a short period well into my adult life]. I don't even eat junk food [I am a competitive lightweight strongman].
Here is my other thread - gosh, I have a hard time keeping my posts short:
Bupe - Shaking Off Tiny Lingering Opiate Habit.
Hello everyone! [I think that thread title is best - I have only used Suboxone in the past seven days, aside from codeine on Thursday] Long time reader, but only a new poster. I am a 38-year-old Canadian male hypochondriac. I am 5'8.5" [174cm] and 190-lb, and I have a mini-bodybuilder's...

Thank you for any input you may have.