BeinGeneric
Bluelighter
I feel foolish, here, sitting in front of this monitor. I remember the first time I realized I was different. Everyone was talking about jesus, thinking about the results of silly actions, wondering, but holy wondering, of what lay ahead.
something more important just popped in to my head. I think of all the things I desire. A cigarette right now, actually, to be honest, not even that, maybe to go to the Dube and have another drink before I go to bed. But what of my neighbor. Leroy desires a simple glass of red wine. One glass, preferably with a nice chicken dish, but the red wine is what is important. How simple. I could have five with out a second thought, but it weighs on him like divorce. What do I desire? That is a dangerous question.
Getting back to my original thought, while everyone was contemplating "---", I was flattened by the realization that writing could not save me. It was not an escape. I wallowed in it like a pig. Every hat would be pulled down over my eyes, every shirt large enough to hide in, every cigarette smoked so fast i would lose myself even in that dirty retarded cloudy mind. I have no more escapes. I might as well go on with it then.
something more important just popped in to my head. I think of all the things I desire. A cigarette right now, actually, to be honest, not even that, maybe to go to the Dube and have another drink before I go to bed. But what of my neighbor. Leroy desires a simple glass of red wine. One glass, preferably with a nice chicken dish, but the red wine is what is important. How simple. I could have five with out a second thought, but it weighs on him like divorce. What do I desire? That is a dangerous question.
Getting back to my original thought, while everyone was contemplating "---", I was flattened by the realization that writing could not save me. It was not an escape. I wallowed in it like a pig. Every hat would be pulled down over my eyes, every shirt large enough to hide in, every cigarette smoked so fast i would lose myself even in that dirty retarded cloudy mind. I have no more escapes. I might as well go on with it then.
