I forgot your current drug situation. Did you have a vike script recently? I know you've been on methadon before, but not anymore, then I thought you were just taking vikes for pain. I wasn't aware of you getting on subs, or maybe you are getting them from someone else.
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NSADD Moderators: tryptakid
16th issue General Heroin Discussion v hit it raw or bag it up?
- Thread starter Tommyboy
- Start date
- Status
I forgot your current drug situation. Did you have a vike script recently? I know you've been on methadon before, but not anymore, then I thought you were just taking vikes for pain. I wasn't aware of you getting on subs, or maybe you are getting them from someone else. 
Actually I felt good mood was good too. Tomorrow ill cut the dose to 4 and see how that goes.
I get the norco 10's and a lot per month. And lately they have only lasted 2 weeks tops because I have been eating them like skittles. Then I buy whatever I can usually get a handful of oxy too. I buy subs from a friend for when I run out. I have been under a lot of stress the last year and depressed. So I do what junkies do and self medicate as much as I can. I should have just started buying dope because it would have been cheaper. But my self medicating is just adding to my problems so I am gonna try to take a break for a while. I have had years of sobriety in the past and l always knew I would use again.
How are you doing Tommyboy?^ I'm doing alright. Staying off drugs, should be finishing intensive outpatient soon, and stepping down to regular outpatient which is 2-3x a week, an hour each time, compared to what I'm doing now (5 days a week, 3hrs a day).
I'm glad your doing ok. I think I'll be alrite too it will just take time.
Johnny blue
Bluelight Crew
Welder man, this is exactly the right place to post stuff like that. If you can't tell us than who can you tell? Anyways good on you for staying strong. You're right you have too much to lose and you know where this road goes.
I am not one to talk about my feelings. I always just bottle it up deep down then Poison it with drugs. I am glad you guys are here and probably feel the same way sometimes. Only a few people know I use the rest think I'm clean. It's that whole double life thing we live that I don't want to do anymore. I wish I liked weed and booze more than opiates.^ I used to always turn to beer while clean from opiates, but for some reason I really don't care to get back into it this time. I have no idea why, but I'm not complaining. I guess I'm finally looking for the permanent fix rather than the temporary one. And also since I'm off of benzos I don't think that I can deal with the types of hangovers I get due to the amount I could put back.
RecklessWOT
Bluelight Crew
I realized that despite being off dope and mostly clean from opiates for over 3 months, I am really tired of it. As much as I can't afford it, and I would probably make my life a lot worse than it has been these last few months, I really hate being clean and want to just start using dope again. Life is so much easier to deal with when you're sedated all the time. I really enjoy being high. What's the point of being clean if you don't really want to be clean? Idfk...Last edited:
JunkieDays
Bluelighter
Twenty, twenty, twenty four hours agoooo.... I wanna be sedated.
Man, you're clean. You're saving alot of fuckin' money, bro. Don't mess up a good thing just because you're bored, or whatever it is you are.
You're gonna say "Man, I'll only use on friday.." Then you know where that leads.. Just, ughh.. Drink some beers or something if you had a long day.
Stay clean, man. Please. You don't realize how good you have it right now.
shimazu
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2012
- Messages
- 18,417
yeah man, I get that feeling after not using any for over a month too. You just gotta decide if youre willing to get back into that cycle of addiction again. It's actually not hard at all for me to quit dope when im going through the mild withdrawals I usually get, since I know if I stop they will go away faster. It's when youre feeling great and know you could just do a little bit and get lit with no withdrawals to worry about that you slip up and go grab some. But then you get the same thought the next day, and then youre grabbing bricks with your friend because why not save money right? then youre not really tryin to come home from work without something to relax with, and if you happen to injure yourself you might as well hit up your dealer immidiately after it happens.
Sometimes I'll have to unload cases of alcohol off of trucks and after you do like 600 of those with only 1-2 other people and you get out of work by 2pm and its just fuckig gorgeous outside and you get hit up asking if you were trying to go halfs on something, god damn its hard to say no.smokemctoke420
Bluelighter
^ aint that the fucking truth man. i get paid on the 15th and the end of the month along with my other jopb which is like 150-180 cash on fridays. i got a second job to save for a car not do dope. this winter ill be giving my mom my credit card for unemployment from the golf course which is 330 every 2 weeks so she will have to dish it out. i still get a weekly paycheck.
shes also gonna start randomly pissing me. she knows i wanna try to not do opies and that im in a tough spot so shes gonna try to help me. it sucks. the cycle goes weed for a few days--> get paid friday> spend half my cash on a bun maybe my whole check --> do the bun in a day and a half (could be gone by the next morning and i get it around 4 or 5 before i go to work on fridays) --> either get depressed as fuck and/or withdraw--> rinse and repeat.
when i get that $600 check from the golf course i got an oz of weed, 15 packs of cigs, and 1-2 bundles before i even leave work at 230.
this needs to slow down or end. once i get laid off and if my mom sticks to giving me piss tests to where i can get a little clean time then it will be a little easier to not use. i just gotta get to that point to where i physically feel better.
on that note, these 4 OP 20s got me feeling nice. got 3 for when i wake up at 530 for work and then 3 for the night tommorrow since im done with all work by 230. fairly soon after that the [iss test will come. she knows i got a small oxy scipt friday but it was gone friday night. she thinks saturday night so i guess she's waiting a little bit to hit me with the test. hey, at least she doesnt care if i blaze weeds. she knows im not gonna stop that lol
RecklessWOT
Bluelight Crew
Oh trust me, I know its bad I do. And I know how easy it would be to get sucked back into a full blown addiction again. And I know how much life sucked when I was going through all of that. But hey, life still kind of sucks without it too. I have been feeling this for the last couple weeks and have already started getting back into oxy here and there maybe once a week for the last month or so, and the way i look at it for about a quarter of the price I could get some dope. It's so bad I know, but damn it's just feeling pointless to deny myself something that I still truly want. What am I really trying to prove by staying clean?
I feel the same way brother I don't really like sobriety, but I need to get my shit together for a while.
nowdubnvr6
Bluelighter
what up homeboys.... ive been on a little binge lately about 10 days or so time to step back and get back to skatin and smokin for me. Gonna have some wd's but whatever dont it before.
Goodjob on not getting high welder i know its hard for me not to use im i help someone score.
shimazu
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2012
- Messages
- 18,417
actually got some BTH today surprisingly. Went through the whole process of filtering it like a shot and waterlined some, actually wasnt too bad. Chased a little bit off foil as well and it got me feeling pretty sedated right now. All in all, id rather just get ECP but I have to say I enjoyed this stuff
it is still dope after all so I guess that's not hard to accomplishI can relate to the general vibe I'm getting off this thread, at least the last page worth of posts. I get really sick when I use H, and my tolerance is really pretty low, but yesterday me and a friend got ahold of some very clean and pure stuff that didn't get me as sick as a typical pack around here would. See, heroin is new to where I live and has just started flooding the streets this year, really, and everyone is switching from perc 30s, OCs, and lortabs to Dope. So of course all the H is cut with some NASTY shit, sometimes I wonder just what the hell they are actually putting in the bags. We've had a lot of OD-heroin related deaths but I don't want to kill myself or shoot up so I'm not too worried myself.....besides I am extremely careful with dosage.
Anyway, its rough being on and off dope. But there are some things about it that are really nice. I just figured out this morning that some good strong maeng da kratom powder almost completely obliterates my dope-sickness! So now I can just eat this stuff when I run out of dope and not have to sit around coughing up nasty shit, runny nose, etc,..... I wonder why I never figured this out before as I've known and used kratom for a couple years now.
Bill
Bluelight Crew
^ Where are you in KY
Only dope I know here is in Northern KY and you have to go right across the river to Cinci to cop
I know you can get dope in Louisville and maybe Lex but other than that I thought it was all pharms down there
When I started doing dope I would get sick a lot too. It was because the dope was a lot stronger than the Vicodin and occasional oxy I was accustomed to.- Status
