Age of Empires is a bad ass game.Starting to notice a trend with this kind of font on a stamp
a good trend
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NSADD Moderators: tryptakid
16th issue General Heroin Discussion v hit it raw or bag it up?
- Thread starter Tommyboy
- Start date
- Status
JunkieDays
Bluelighter
Oh hell yes! Nothing like nodding out while playing AOE2. Going tribal on thou ass.
Only to wake up with drool all over the keyboard and your empire in ruins because you nodded out in the middle of the epic battle.3 things on my junkie bucketlist..try ny/nj stamps, try some good tar, and to actually for one time stick a needle in my arm.
I know im pussy and should man up but for every one person who calls me a pussy theres 3or4 that say.."if you ever touch a needle ill kick YOUR ass" especially when they know ive been doin dope god 4-5years maybe more now I don't even remember
cj
Bluelight Crew
Personally i dont think it matters. If your addicted your addicted. ROA has little effect on strength of addiction.yeha but now I only need to get high every other day cause really it takes that long to hit WDs..everyone I know who uses a pin needs to hit themselves everyfew hours especially to te out of bed..aand ive ust never been to that point..
I use enough and my tolerance is enough without putting a neeldle in my arm, do I really need it?? everyone says yes until you sit and talk with them and then they all say "no, I woud have never touched it if I can go back"
JunkieDays
Bluelighter
Hahaha. Good times..
verso
Bluelighter
I see a lot of talk about methadone, and I would like to chime in here if I could...
I've only been on methadone for, oh, a week now, but I can already see that this will be the way that I get clean. It's more effective, for me, than suboxone. It takes away every withdrawal symptom, as in, after taking my dose, I have no lingering withdrawal symptoms -- not a chill, not a cramp, not a bead of sweat. Similarly, methadone kills the cravings. That isn't to say I haven't still been using (very dangerous and I don't advise it), but the compulsion to use, the "fiendiness," just isn't there anymore. If I don't come up with money one day and I can't afford to get bags, then I'm OK with it and there's no anxiety, no fear... I just go home, eat dinner, and go to sleep. It's unbelievable.
I think that, eventually, my heroin use will just peter out entirely. I'll stick with the methadone, and, after a while, after I haven't used heroin in a while, it will become almost a point of pride for me, and then that will almost become my motivation, my reason for not using. It will be like, "shit, well, I've already gone this long without using, so why break down now?"
Yeah, so I am definitely a fan of methadone as of right now, at least. I know that it's a pain in the balls to go to the clinic each day, and the first week sucked with all of the stupid paperwork I had to do and all of the time I had to spend getting my physical done and orientation and all of that shit. And, after I've been there for a while, I might not like it so much. It might feel like I can never get off of it (a common complaint I sometimes hear from people who have been on methadone for a while), but I'll just need to remind myself that, well, I was waking up sick every day before this, before getting on methadone, and if I think that's better than having to go to the methadone clinic each day, well, I can always just go ahead and do that. It's certainly always an option for me. I think I prefer having to go to the clinic though...
And I'm under no illusion that methadone is not trading one addiction for another, because to some extent, well, it is, but I've never had a problem with being an addict. Hell, I'm a realist, and if I could pick up dope every day and afford to do that, well shit, I would, but I can't, so... methadone it is, then!
cj
Bluelight Crew
Yeah I dunno I never really snorted much dope. I was all in on the needle from day 1. But when I first started I needed to get high every 24 hours on the dot almost or I would be sick. Now its like every 18 hours or so depending on dope quality. The getting out of bed thing is all in peoples heads IMO. Like what does that even mean? If I wake up sick I jump the fuck outta bed to figure out how to get well. whats the point in laying there sick? Not going back to sleep. Sorry not ranting at you but that always confused me.
BlueHues
Bluelighter
Don't worry, this is the part where you put the heroin behind you and realize how much you really like cocaine! I'm kidding...kind of...The methadone is superior to sub for cravings for a lot of people...just stay away from looking to replace the not getting high anymore with something else, unless it's weed...
In other words, benzos and cocaine on methadone is worse than dope itself!
LSDiesel
Bluelighter
Be careful with doing dope and methadone, because I found that I got used to it. Especially when I was on the lower, less than 30mg doses. My body got used to having the methadone AND the dope, so it was a double addiction.
BlueHues
Bluelighter
^I actually had that a few years ago, they wouldn't raise me above 40mgs, so I could keep getting high every afternoon, that sucked!
I was on it for almost 3 years at one point...Once you're over 60mgs, using heroin becomes kind of pointless...you never really get that great rush of relief because you always have enough opioids in you...
For me, that's when I started really falling in love with crack for the first time....Hold your applause, I know I'm a winner! thankfully, I never figured out the beno thing in those days, I must have been the only person on the clinic...but really, a lot of people that go on methadone, particulary heroin users, immediately fall in love with cocaine, which can burn you financially just as bad as the dope, just in a different way! Instead of a hundred bucks a day, you start having 2-400 dollar nights...
Man, I remember getting on methadone, going to NA meetings and saying I was clean, but here I am blowing my whole paycheck on Friday and Saturday with no money for cigarettes on Monday! I lived with my parents back then and they thought I was clean...so I couldn't really ask to borrow 20 dollars 2 days after payday, especially since I wasn't paying rent....what a nightmare!
I'm glad it's working for you Verso, and it can be a great opportunity to turn your life around...It really worked for me in the end...I tapered and stayed clean once I got off the methadone for almost 3 years...
I look at methadone as a means of getting your daily dose of opiates/opioids in a controlled dose that will cover you all day, as opposed to you having to scrape up money each day to get unknown doses of heroin that won't even hold you 24 hours most times. It's better than spending all of your money on dope, better than having to go to the hood to get it, and it allows you the opportunity to remove yourself from that whole drug-dealing 'scene' so that you can work on taking the steps to change your life so that if/when you decide to taper off of it you will be far enough removed from that scene that you won't jump right back in when you no longer have that daily dose in you.
Of course it's up to the individual to actual take those steps and to stay away from dope, and whether or not that do that pretty much determines whether or not getting on methadone was a good decision or not. I think that a lot of the people that say that getting on methadone was a mistake (due to the increased tolerance and longer withdrawals) where quick to forget just what their life was like towards the end of their heroin addiction, and some of them probably wouldn't be alive today if they hadn't gotten on methadone maintenance.
My best advice is to stay away from benzos (and alcohol and cocaine) and make some rules for yourself and stick to them. One of the things that a counselor said to my outpatient group that I liked was that our bottom doesn't have to get any lower than where we were at that moment, so we could continue to get better without having to get worse first and hitting 'rock bottom' as they call it. I liked that because you always hear people saying how they had to hit rock bottom [sucking dick for drugs, stealing from their family, pawning all of their possessions, etc] before deciding to quit drugs, and you also hear a lot of counselors saying how people must hit rock bottom in order to start getting better, and that's bullshit because the farther down you go, the longer the upward struggle back up is, and the harder it is to get there since there are way more obstacles to overcome to get there.
I feel like every show or movie about addiction buys into the whole notion of 'rock bottom' by having some person telling their 'war story' [usually like your post about Hollywood's portrayal of addicts being some scrawny guy using dirty toilet water to draw up a shot of tar heroin out of an old, rusty, bent spoon using a jagged, dull spike (which are usually shown as huge syringes with those two circle scissor-like grips for the index and middle finger) and then shooting it into their abscessed arm] and after saying something crazy they all say 'and that's when I knew that I had hit rock bottom' as if every person that quit drugs had gotten to a similar point in their addiction at which point they decided to get help.
Looks like I just found the 'Hollywood Addict' that we've been describing, as well as the syringes they show them using that none of us have ever used:
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lol. Yup, we're all scrawny, wear dirty t-shirts with ripped jeans, and shoot up into the abscesses on our arms. And why on earth would he be shooting into the crook of his left arm with all those abscesses when he's got a perfectly good vein running down his right bicep?
My neighbor has been on ORT for a long time now, methadone for close to ten years and bupe now for close to a year, and he got hooked on IV cocaine and benzos since he couldn't get high on opiates anymore. Supposedly he stopped shooting coke, but he's got a hell of a benzo habit now. He found one of the few suboxone doctors that will prescribe him a benzo along with the subs, so he gets something like 90-120 of the 1mg klonopins a month now, and then spends the remainder of his money on xanax.
He's got a decent job doing flooring (works for himself so brings home decent pay) and sells around 40 of his 8mg subs a month, as well as 60+ subs from his girls scrips (she gets 90 a month and they both just take 4mg a day) and he's still broke all the time since the majority of his money goes to benzos, and then cocaine when he can afford it. Actually he's got a few kids to is supposed to be paying child support to his two different babies mama's, but he's so far behind on that that his dad mostly pays it for him so that he doesn't go any further into debt with them. His girl does xanax with him and got him to cut back on coke since she's not into it since she's seen what it does, and since they mostly get high together since they both sell their subs together and since she doesn't do coke they just get benzo'd out together.
They are one of the reasons I never went back to benzos after detox. I see how they get from the benzos and it's not appealing to me in any shape or form. They nod out from it and walk around with their eyes 3/4 of the way closed, and will have the same conversation with you over and over. I couldn't tell you how many times I've heard the same stories from them, and they are both in outpatient (one for probation and the other one for custody of their kid) but aren't making any progress there since they are still hooked on benzos. You know how judges will always rule in favor of the mother in custody battles, well this girl doesn't have custody of her kid (and the babies daddy used to get high too) so you know she's got to be fucking up a lot.Last edited:
BlueHues
Bluelighter
Yeah man, ive been using drugs for a long time...but for some reason, I'm honestly not one of those people....I think I must have some sense of self preservation or pride, but I can still walk around as a normal person, thank God!
No offense to those people, but what you're describing is stereotypical "scumbag" shit...the girl that's lost eight kids by 7 different guys, all the bullshit of drug addiction....come to think of it, all the drug addicts I've ever known have more kids than anybody else I've ever met! what the fuck is up with that?
Yeah, I only get high with my childhood friends that were unfortunate enough to start with me....I don't come from the slums with drug-addict parents...I fuck with dealers and other people I know that do it, but I stay away from most of the other drug users out there, I just don't trust them...I'm not the type of junkie that tries to run out of target with a TV....now I'm talking shit like I think I'm better...but I like to keep it low-key...I'll get shit for my friends, cop my dope, and that's it....I hate typical junkie drama, with the girl always pregnant, the pending larceny charges....those people can stay on the other side of the room...nobody's gonna drag me into their own unpredictable, on-the-way-to-jail bullshit...I have enough trouble staying out of trouble myself!
I guess ive always been the time of junkie that has had somesort of cash flow so whe my money runs low then im really on a binge or something fucked up to where im not copping..so the mentality of me getting out of bed to go spange or steal something is inconceivable to me. its not something that comes to mind when im sick. so its like if I know im gonna be broke i work that into my usage habit..if i know i got my last 100 buks for the next couple days, instead of getting high and being sick id rather just maintain until i get my cash bback right to go get high..i like to taper cause then it drops my tolerance and then a week or 2 later when i get my cash, i can get high on half of what i normally need..or puke off dope for the first time in years, lol i hated it but i loved it causei knew it ws from the good dope..aside from forcing yourself to puke when your drunk cause that feels great, pukeing cause your dope is soo good is just as good..like i said its been years since i snorted some lines and then puked all night from it..i spent mor emoney those 2 weeks then i did the entire previus 2 months on that dope when it was around lol
BlueHues
Bluelighter
^starting shooting it's not worth it...not many people can stretch their dope like that....why fuck yourself and start using in a way that you're not familiar how to maintain...It really is all the same, except for the rush...which I'm sure you're curious, but it aint worth it....So many dope users switch to sub and methadone...no rush from those either...I like my rush, but I like being high...the rush is just like jumping in cold water when it hits you, well more like jumping in warm water, but once you're high it's all the same...
there's plenty of people that don't shoot...most of the Hispanics who are close to the dealers where I'm from never fuck with needles, they see it as a white people thing...A lot of em snort a bump of dope here and there to get nice!
'medicine cabinet'
Bluelighter
Ended up spiking for the first time in about 3 years last week. Someone i know had gotten a half g and it looked halfway decent so i basically said since im on mmt i gotta do this right, was like trying to quit cigs lol, i wanted one spike but had to buy ten, plus they only had 30ga which are damn near impossible to use but i managed. Anyways, did a test shot and missed a little from being rusty and got a pretty good histamine reaction at the site. So i did the shot, got the pins and needles burn feeling (def niacin in there) and got pretty high, hadnt taken my meth that day and have been tapering so my tolerance has lightened up. Figuring i was on a run i copped a dub and had to wait allll fucking day and got it, and it was a tiny bag of garbage that didnt do fuck. Guy i got it from thinks hes a dealer but is really a script forger and junky who lives out of his car and does waaay too much of "his product" but tries to front it like hes fucking pablo escobar or some shit. So after that shit i said fuck it, got back on the mmt train, only missed a day bc that bag was so shit it didnt do anything and i went to get dosed that afternoon right before it closed. Left a nasty bruise for some reason and my wallet lighter...ah well. On one hand i miss my old connec who basically sold the shit to everyone who then gave it a bunch more cuts, then again i like being stable and not having to worry about as much. I just make the ten min drive to the junkie farm, get my dose and go about my day. No waiting and scheming and looking over my shoulder...tho thats one habit i cant break. Once you grow those eyes in the back of your head you cant close them lol
LSDiesel
Bluelighter
Haha, you and I have a few things in common. I actually have a 90 day clean chip from AA, which is total bullshit. I was never clean.
I also tend to be scared of other drug users. From 2007 thru 2009, I actively sought out finding more drug using friends. Nowadays, I don't want any more drug using friends, I want friends who DON'T use drugs.
chefman
Bluelighter
Why,spent all my $$ now,im sick and hungry,fuckin stupid good thing i get paid tomorrow.- Status
