16th issue General Heroin Discussion v hit it raw or bag it up?

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Well today has been on of the more interesting days of my recent life...

Woke up today and immediately the world was against me. Bad news after bad news, before my morning coffee even. So I went into 'fuck it mode,' grabbed my tax return and took off. Where? I didn't know, but I had to make some bad decisions. I just had to...

No dealers or open air in Recoveryville, so I went to the casino. Bought in with just under half of my tax return amount. Did not accept the complementary drinks. I accepted the fact that the money probably would be gone.

A few short hours later, I have multiplied my money by 5. And I walk away. Have not held that much cash in my hands in a very long time.

Immediately decided that I was going to buy myself something nice with the money so that O don't buy a one way ticket to North Jersey. Hit up the travel agency. Now I STUPIDLY ripped a page out of my passport to use to blow lines a few months ago. So the passport is not valid and I gotta renew. Ah, but I have an out-of-state warrant, so that ain't gonna happen. From elated to depressed.

Mope over to the bus stop and begin to wait. And then I hear (verbatim, you can't make this up) "hey umm..sorry to bother ya, but would you wanna buy some shit...like drug shit?"

I turned to the pale-faced boy and said "why..why yes, I think I would like to buy some drugs off of you."

Got some Somas and weed, and a phone number. I have smoked weed 6 times in the past five years. Two hits and I was FUCKED. It felt like 2005 again. WHERE ARE THE FRESHMAN GIRLS?? I sat there for two hours lost in a cloud of smoke. I wanted to call the number to ask for some h but something inside me kept me from doing it. I like to think it is my will to stay clean, but it probably was instead the level 100 anxiety from too much weed.

I missed the last bus and my phone died on me. Walked ten miles home, a lot of it through dicey neighborhoods, with a wad of hundreds and a pocket of drugs. Did not see one taxi.

So ya, it took seven weeks in Recoveryville to find a dealer/middle, and it happened the same day I got money. I need to figure out a smart way to spend this money, or at least most of it. Tomorrow morning I am going to wake/bake and revert back to the college way - never not stoned. And see how that lifestyle change affects my life.

But ya, got money and a number. We all know that I am probably fucked.
 
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A.where are you?
B. I smoked weed for a long time after being addicted to just about every hard drug there is, it's probably the only thing that kept you from getting hard drugs....I've had years completely clean before too...the whole recovery deal!
C.Wake up, smoke some weed and go get yourself a fucking bomb-ass fucking breakfast or brunch or lunch or whatever....Just go to a fuckin restaurant by yourself and stare off into space, stoned, eating a bunch of food! God, I love that shit!
D. After you eat, wander around and go blow some money on something random, just go somewhere different and try something new.....or just find some people that look like they get high and get them stoned! Something cool will probably happen! maybe you'll get laid!....Maybe you'll end up meeting some weird old people that will tell you something profound about life! IDK, don't seek out dope!....don't fly to fuckin Jersey! You know you shouldn't do that! snap out of it.....
 
You know...the idea of being constantly stoned, to the point where the anxiety from the weed prevents me from going to get h from people I don't even know is not a bad idea!

I am in norcal right now. I know there has gotta be h all around me, but I am in an area where it is not transparent at all. And I haven't really even tried to look. The Jersey line was a joke - I hail from the Midwest - but getting a nice hotel in Vegas and going on a binge..
I could see that happening!

I might go to Whole Foods and buy insanely overpriced food and try and get back into cooking. Maybe meet a chick that way. I really should delete the phone number. He has mine, tho, so I would have to get a new number too.

I should give it all to my mother, as a gesture for how much she has done for my junkie ass over the years. Or hire a lawyer and get my bench warrant taken care of. Choices...choices...
 
Dude if your in Norcal there is H everywhere and the best buds you can smoke all around you. I agree with not fucking with the H though. When i moved out to norcal last year for a bit i got clean just smoking herb constantly.
 
^I'm from the East Coast, lived in NorCal for a few years of my life and NOW I'm in the MidWest.....It's not as easy as Jersey if you don't know anyone out there....be smart!

I was in "recovery" for a long time, and I've relapsed...oh I've relapsed! I'm just not someone who can abstain from everything....I know from experience that I can get away with using SOME things, some things I can't!

Basically, I can drink a few nights a week, get stoned all I want and maybe do a few benzos or some adderalls here and there....Have to be much more careful with any pills though....

Oh yeah, psychedelics too, but those never really counted to me....IDK....don't look for heroin....If you need to get high, there's so much better out there than that shit....

California is a really great place for meeting people compared to a lot of other places I've lived....It's kinda cool like that...different than we're I'm from for sure!
 
Oh man, I have missed the taste of weed so much. I have never done h while stoned, but I imagine it would be a great combo. I took some kratom a bit earlier, and mj+kratom is nice. Kratom on a low opiate tolerance has a very natural-feeling subtle oxy-like buzz. It must be great having the taste of fresh weed in your mouth and nose while the h hits the back of your throat...

Anyway, was smoking a bowl on the local high school bleechers and a cop drove right by. I got that nervous energy, hid the piece and just let him drive on. It was so insanely easy when compared to, say, rolling pickups of your partner while getting dope from a house being watched, bobbing and weaving on the highway, ready to shove packages of heroin up our rectums to avoid felonies or a cop that wants to beat the shit out of us. The good old days of innocent hide-and-seek with rookie cops under the idyllic sunshine.

Agree about psychedelics. I feel like they actually help me stay off the bad stuff. Just trips these days tend to get dark if my mind dwells on all of the shit that has happened in the hard drug game. I pretty much can handle anything in recovery that does not require landing gear, and nothing that directly affects the dopamine pathway.

Agreed that h is around here (I do read the papers), but I am nestled into suburbia and live a very mechanistic life right now. And I am too old for the teen scene around here, so am oblivious to what drugs the kids get around here. I could probably go into town and cold cop with some effort, but fuck cold copping!

I can't drink at all. One drink and I want boy 'n girl threesome. I tried controlled drinking three times last year, and each time I was speedballin' within hours.
 
Buy yourself a motorcycle and ride through the beautiful countryside of Northern California. Or a pedal bike if you don't have a drivers license.
 
Got some no name bags. 1 bag got me good but I got a low tolerance.
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Red leader : I'm in recovery too man. Been off it almost 2 months now. I did buy a g of h and a g of coke last week. What was supposed to be one or two speedballs ended up in a day of speedballs and 2 days of h due to my low tolerance. I had minor WDs after it for 3 or 4 days.

Staying with my folks at the moment and haven't been doing drugs apart from a few doses of gbl. Won't do another speedball for a few weeks at least and ill just keep it to one day at that.

How are you doing physically? Physical work might Be a good idea to take you're mind off things if you feel you're up to it.

Hope I dont offend you but in your posts you don't sound like you are finished with opiates for good?
 
Physically, I feel great. But I am still pretty young, and I seem to bounce back from habits quickly (bad acute WD, but don't ever get long PAWS). I have been back at the gym this past month, and I walk long distances each day.

On the whole "done for good" thing, I have said that a lot at various times and have kinda figured out that the "one day at a time" thing works best for me. I would be a fool to.think at any point that I could claim that I am done for good. Even on my good days, I just try to get through that one itself.

Always wanted to learn to ride, but my license is still suspended. Have thought about taking a bus to the coast for a couple days.
 
Yeah man just like the alcoholics that's how they stay sober with the one day at a time mentality. Sayin ya gonna be sober for the rest of yer life is just insane.
 
XThexXTank said:
Yeah man just like the alcoholics that's how they stay sober with the one day at a time mentality. Sayin ya gonna be sober for the rest of yer life is just insane.
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Exactly. You can't think that far ahead in your recovery. It overwhelms you and triggers relapse in a lot of people.

Take it day by day, minute by minute if you have too. You get years of sobriety second by second, not in chunks of time, so don't think about it that way.
 
Good way to put it Scag. Thinking about years of no drugs causes anxiety I'm sure. I can see how people relapse cuz of that.

I'm not really pro NA but the one day at a time thing works damn good if you want it to
 
Ok y'all so I got a ? In regards to keepin withdraws at bay or gettn the most outta the product. I got only one 20mg ir oxycodone its the light grey one an even though it really ain't enough to get me normal it'll do a lil bit. So that's all I got til later in the day 2moro when I get more pills an I was wonderin wich route would be best to help me the longest with withdraws.

I usually pop em but would shootn it (yeah I know its bad but I really dgaf when I'm sick an I dnt do it often) help even more with thee withdraws than eatn? Its all I got an I'm just lookn for a straight answer rite now for 2moro when I get up no bullshit.
 
In terms of bioavailability IV will always be 100% but, for oxy oral is pretty damn good and listed as 60%-87%. Keep in mind that I'm not an IV user but, usually people say that IV oxy runs it's course pretty fast so with that in mind and the fact that it does have a relatively high oral BA I'd just eat it. If you do decide to shoot it you really should be using a micron filter to shoot pills as you don't want all that filler in your veins which is yet another reason why I'd pick oral as the way to go. I have no idea what your habit or tolerance is but, keep in mind that you're not trying to get high but, instead just trying to keep WD at bay.
 
Johnny blue said:
In terms of bioavailability IV will always be 100% but, for oxy oral is pretty damn good and listed as 60%-87%. Keep in mind that I'm not an IV user but, usually people say that IV oxy runs it's course pretty fast so with that in mind and the fact that it does have a relatively high oral BA I'd just eat it. If you do decide to shoot it you really should be using a micron filter to shoot pills as you don't want all that filler in your veins which is yet another reason why I'd pick oral as the way to go. I have no idea what your habit or tolerance is but, keep in mind that you're not trying to get high but, instead just trying to keep WD at bay.
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CWE is probably mandatory if you want to IV pills.. just sayin'
 
JunkieDays said:
CWE is probably mandatory if you want to IV pills.. just sayin'
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What do you mean? For the little IR oxy pills you just do it normally. If it's anything that requires a CWE (like percocet) then you can't really IV it.
 
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