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13 days later into comedown

@adubbs

But you have absolutely no purely mental symptoms like depression or anxiety or DPDR? I know you mentioned very mild HPPD+bad tinnitus but other than that and the physical stuff no mental stuff?
 
I don't know if I can say that I'm getting better, more like I have stabilized. I don't have any physical symptoms anymore other than fatigue. now it's all purely mental. I've fallen into a very creepy anhedonic state where seemingly nothing matters anymore, and whatever I do is whatever.

Looking back, I regret my choices to do weed and mdma ... What I do know now is that I'm done with recreational drugs ... I just wanna get my old life back. Hope it comes back some day
 
socrilus said:
@adubbs

But you have absolutely no purely mental symptoms like depression or anxiety or DPDR? I know you mentioned very mild HPPD+bad tinnitus but other than that and the physical stuff no mental stuff?
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I do have anxiety... But it's not debilitating.... I've had minor anxiety issues my whole life but I never realized it, and nothing that I sought help for... Sight feel a need to I'm a happy person. It's just like a constant low level of anxiety...I don't have panic attacks, but I am a worry wort and an indecisive person.... Kinda always been though.

My anxiety is higher now due to the LTC..... Looking for my floaters.... Stressing about my Tinnitus.... Looking for the BFEP.
 
We are all in this shitstorm together ... I hope a year from now we will be reading this and smiling knowing that we have turned it around. This shit sucks
 
LawyerLife said:
We are all in this shitstorm together ... I hope a year from now we will be reading this and smiling knowing that we have turned it around. This shit sucks
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Lol it's been a year for me.....but it seems around 2 or 3 years is when a lot of people show improvement
 
It is now almost 35 days later:

I am seeing a psychologist and a neurologist. I most of the time have given up on thinking I'm dying. I need to focus on the positives. The majority of each of my days are okay, I am feeling more like myself some days, and then others I regress. I have been taking it day by day and am still in shock 35 days later this is my life. I have a greater appreciation for my family and my friends. My main symptoms now are chest pain and headaches, occasional panic attacks, confusion, depersonalization.

I take a half or a full klonopin when I start to feel myself getting worked up. I'm having the MRI tomorrow to see what's going on and to get the full neuro workup (had EEG, bloodwork, nerve conduction test)... haven't heard anything but I guess no news is good news. I have a follow up in a few weeks.

I am back working both jobs, trying to live my life as "normal" as possible. I have not drank and have no desire to. Every time I look in a mirror I don't have to smile and raise my arms to make sure I'm not having a stroke. I'm reading, going to the gym, hanging with a lot of friends, sleeping. Taking this time to commit to my health and getting my life back. I have a profound respect for people that live with anxiety, it is debilitating. The symptoms come and they are VERY REAL but the anxiety of it all is what makes it torturous. I think I developed some sort of panic/anxiety disorder or reaction to this all. I'm going for CBT with the psychologist and I practice yoga still.

I stopped journaling after my last bout of thinking I was going to die and not being able to see. It just made me more worked up.
 
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No anxiety for me any more but I'm depressed. Constant feeling, like there is nothing in this whole wide world that will make me happy again .... What the fuck have I done to myself
 
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