woodyfence
Bluelighter
Well, I thought I'd post this here, considering I even wrote it around T+20:00. What a beautiful time. My personal questions: I have tried lots of things, but nothing seems to come close to my 1.5 mg 25i experiences in terms of mind=blown. But I haven't tried DMT. Do you think that will trump 25i? How does it's short yet intense experience differ from a short yet intense experience like a milligram of LSD, or 12.5 mg of DOM, or 1.5 mg of 25i-NBOME? Well, here it is:
9/4/2016: 12.5 mg DOM + 1 tab lsd at T+12:00, smoked every 45 mins to 1 hour during the whole trip. Many joints. Much kief. T+2:30; I listened to The Ride Majestic but realized soon that my mind could only be blown one time! Well after that, at about T+3:30, when I was truly began to peak, I smoked weed. Then I listened to Blackwater Park and that turned out to create nightmares in my mind, and I literally thought I was dying in the middle of the song, and I stopped listening to music for a bit to smoke. And I pondered the frightening images I was seeing translucent upon my vision. Demon masks from Courage the Cowardly Dog lurking in my television's reflection (fucking hell the lyrics are insane in Blackwater park, this bore insane things to my mind's eye such as all the death I have seen of my own eyes [fucking horror movies {IT, Scream, my dog Dixie, internet videos}]). This previous sentence can serve as a textual illustration of my experience in which my mind's eye created translucent imagery cast over one another; I could see my different images and animations all at once, some horrifying, some delightfully euphoric, some a mix, and all at the same time sometimes or as a central focus. My imagination and analysis was overloaded more than it has ever been before I daresay. But I was still more intoxicated on 25i-NBOME I must say. They are both strong chemicals of their own effects. However, I do believe DOM, given the right dosage, could be just as intense as 25i, and indeed, could kill you. But you'd definitely need over 20 mg, probably much more honestly. But anything over 10 mg just seems to be too uncomfortably strong. Nonetheless, this trip was in full swing and I had only been peaking for maybe 12 minutes, the duration of the song. I began to grow more and more euphoric as I realized that I cannot forget anything I have seen, and I must learn to live with it and accept it. I grew one of the biggest grins I've ever had in my life (Except maybe 25i or DXM) and decided the trip will carry on whether I like it or not, but I must change to new music that isn't depressing. So I smoked more weed and listened to Mercenary's Architect of Lies and The Hours That Remain for the first time. Beautiful compositions. I listened to In Flames's Come Clarity and some of Reroute to Remain at about T+13:00 after when the LSD began to take effect. All amazing lyrics and overall artsmanship, and I do note that I continue to interpret Come Clarity in many new ways; there's so much to be said in it. This trip probably changed my life in some ways, as have most of these others. What is my goal in writing all of this down? I am just a spectator, an advocate documenting the loss. My repetition of the lyrics should be enough to stress how strong this substance is. DOM will consume you. Let it. But I dare say, "12.5 mg is the farthest I am willing to go. I have seen what I want. Anything farther just seems to spiral into too much entropy before my time. But my friend, 'Walk on broken glass. Is the pain the same at the end?'"
Man I do wish I had appreciated my mind more when I was younger, although maybe I did (reference to Soilwork I suppose. 'It's like I never even tried to remain sane, but it all turns out just not what you wanted not what you asked for now start dragging me around...'). I can appreciate it now though, and what better time than the present, for it is also my curse I must learn to appreciate, regardless of my emotions, regardless of anything, I'll be dragged down to death just like the uncountable beings before me. And only in science can my cure be found, yet it seems I may not span this great occurance. Well, I'll be damned if I'll die bent over and bleeding like the personification on the cover of Come Clarity. I'll find a way, whatever it fucking takes. I don't have anything to hide, I just want to be successful. I just want to be.
This trip really has been awe-inspiring. Just as all of them have been. Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of one's own mind. That's something I read about 7 years ago. Changed my world view in an instant. It's insane how impressionable you are when you are a kid, your malleability is quite the canvas for a PREDATOR'S PORTRAIT! Good riddance to faith. I lost my faith sometime at camp between the ages of 5 and 8, whereas before I prayed by my bedside night after night for my salvation. My wish was bastardized. My wish will be bastardized. Soilwork, Stabbing the Drama and The Living Infinite were probably my hugest influences (once I'd heard them!). This was about the time I started to truly appreciate my mind. It really all fucking clicked three times in my life: The camp incident where I asked, "Where is the proof..." and my answers were met with circles (The Bible is proof!). I saw deception. Somehow, given my malleability, I made it through the cave and into the fucking sun. The next: At the very end of 9th grade when I was choosing my classes (deciding to take the intellectual route of life), and finally in 7th grade, when I was stranded crying to myself behind my door feeling as an outcast upon the world and I made my promise to never stray from myself, to stray beyond the shallow entombment. I strove to write things, and I tried. I strove to do things. But honestly, my monetary and family limitations became a larger burden than I would have liked. And maybe I really am a product of classical conditioning. I have trained myself to revel in pain and hard work before, and I say I can do it again. Walk on broken glass, is the pain the same at the end? No, I now know how to avoid the broken glass. I'd like to interpret that the broken glass could be a mirror to your future. Could be.
Believe me, NEED NO ONE TO GET ME THROUGH, SLOWLY FADING IN FIDELITY, MY ENEMY, MY WORDS ARE TRUE, LET ME LEAD YOUR WAY. That is also how I feel about drugs in general. Religion. I dare not say politics or economics; I have not studied them enough. Nor physics and mathematics. But I am making PITCH BLACK PROGRESS. I do wish people did not think I was a drug addict. Is there any way to change their mind? Success, happiness, emotions, ideation, conscience all encapsulated and bleeding through from my damned brain, in time. "IN FUCKING TIME." University is still my life's priority. I've cried many times today on all these drugs listening to sounds of truth from the musically talented. But rejoice, for me, myself, and I (and some drugs and a lifetime of shackles) have truly taught me to appreciate, to feel, to be.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_dom
substancecode_amphetamines
substancecode_phenethylamines
substancecode_lsd
substancecode_lysergamides
substancecode_marijuana
substancecode_cannabis
_combo_
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
roacode_oral
roacode_sublingual
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
9/4/2016: 12.5 mg DOM + 1 tab lsd at T+12:00, smoked every 45 mins to 1 hour during the whole trip. Many joints. Much kief. T+2:30; I listened to The Ride Majestic but realized soon that my mind could only be blown one time! Well after that, at about T+3:30, when I was truly began to peak, I smoked weed. Then I listened to Blackwater Park and that turned out to create nightmares in my mind, and I literally thought I was dying in the middle of the song, and I stopped listening to music for a bit to smoke. And I pondered the frightening images I was seeing translucent upon my vision. Demon masks from Courage the Cowardly Dog lurking in my television's reflection (fucking hell the lyrics are insane in Blackwater park, this bore insane things to my mind's eye such as all the death I have seen of my own eyes [fucking horror movies {IT, Scream, my dog Dixie, internet videos}]). This previous sentence can serve as a textual illustration of my experience in which my mind's eye created translucent imagery cast over one another; I could see my different images and animations all at once, some horrifying, some delightfully euphoric, some a mix, and all at the same time sometimes or as a central focus. My imagination and analysis was overloaded more than it has ever been before I daresay. But I was still more intoxicated on 25i-NBOME I must say. They are both strong chemicals of their own effects. However, I do believe DOM, given the right dosage, could be just as intense as 25i, and indeed, could kill you. But you'd definitely need over 20 mg, probably much more honestly. But anything over 10 mg just seems to be too uncomfortably strong. Nonetheless, this trip was in full swing and I had only been peaking for maybe 12 minutes, the duration of the song. I began to grow more and more euphoric as I realized that I cannot forget anything I have seen, and I must learn to live with it and accept it. I grew one of the biggest grins I've ever had in my life (Except maybe 25i or DXM) and decided the trip will carry on whether I like it or not, but I must change to new music that isn't depressing. So I smoked more weed and listened to Mercenary's Architect of Lies and The Hours That Remain for the first time. Beautiful compositions. I listened to In Flames's Come Clarity and some of Reroute to Remain at about T+13:00 after when the LSD began to take effect. All amazing lyrics and overall artsmanship, and I do note that I continue to interpret Come Clarity in many new ways; there's so much to be said in it. This trip probably changed my life in some ways, as have most of these others. What is my goal in writing all of this down? I am just a spectator, an advocate documenting the loss. My repetition of the lyrics should be enough to stress how strong this substance is. DOM will consume you. Let it. But I dare say, "12.5 mg is the farthest I am willing to go. I have seen what I want. Anything farther just seems to spiral into too much entropy before my time. But my friend, 'Walk on broken glass. Is the pain the same at the end?'"
Man I do wish I had appreciated my mind more when I was younger, although maybe I did (reference to Soilwork I suppose. 'It's like I never even tried to remain sane, but it all turns out just not what you wanted not what you asked for now start dragging me around...'). I can appreciate it now though, and what better time than the present, for it is also my curse I must learn to appreciate, regardless of my emotions, regardless of anything, I'll be dragged down to death just like the uncountable beings before me. And only in science can my cure be found, yet it seems I may not span this great occurance. Well, I'll be damned if I'll die bent over and bleeding like the personification on the cover of Come Clarity. I'll find a way, whatever it fucking takes. I don't have anything to hide, I just want to be successful. I just want to be.
This trip really has been awe-inspiring. Just as all of them have been. Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of one's own mind. That's something I read about 7 years ago. Changed my world view in an instant. It's insane how impressionable you are when you are a kid, your malleability is quite the canvas for a PREDATOR'S PORTRAIT! Good riddance to faith. I lost my faith sometime at camp between the ages of 5 and 8, whereas before I prayed by my bedside night after night for my salvation. My wish was bastardized. My wish will be bastardized. Soilwork, Stabbing the Drama and The Living Infinite were probably my hugest influences (once I'd heard them!). This was about the time I started to truly appreciate my mind. It really all fucking clicked three times in my life: The camp incident where I asked, "Where is the proof..." and my answers were met with circles (The Bible is proof!). I saw deception. Somehow, given my malleability, I made it through the cave and into the fucking sun. The next: At the very end of 9th grade when I was choosing my classes (deciding to take the intellectual route of life), and finally in 7th grade, when I was stranded crying to myself behind my door feeling as an outcast upon the world and I made my promise to never stray from myself, to stray beyond the shallow entombment. I strove to write things, and I tried. I strove to do things. But honestly, my monetary and family limitations became a larger burden than I would have liked. And maybe I really am a product of classical conditioning. I have trained myself to revel in pain and hard work before, and I say I can do it again. Walk on broken glass, is the pain the same at the end? No, I now know how to avoid the broken glass. I'd like to interpret that the broken glass could be a mirror to your future. Could be.
Believe me, NEED NO ONE TO GET ME THROUGH, SLOWLY FADING IN FIDELITY, MY ENEMY, MY WORDS ARE TRUE, LET ME LEAD YOUR WAY. That is also how I feel about drugs in general. Religion. I dare not say politics or economics; I have not studied them enough. Nor physics and mathematics. But I am making PITCH BLACK PROGRESS. I do wish people did not think I was a drug addict. Is there any way to change their mind? Success, happiness, emotions, ideation, conscience all encapsulated and bleeding through from my damned brain, in time. "IN FUCKING TIME." University is still my life's priority. I've cried many times today on all these drugs listening to sounds of truth from the musically talented. But rejoice, for me, myself, and I (and some drugs and a lifetime of shackles) have truly taught me to appreciate, to feel, to be.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_dom
substancecode_amphetamines
substancecode_phenethylamines
substancecode_lsd
substancecode_lysergamides
substancecode_marijuana
substancecode_cannabis
_combo_
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
roacode_oral
roacode_sublingual
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
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Regarding people thinking you're a drug addict... I get the sense from your post that you are not, it sounds like you've had a few trips and that is entirely appropriate IMO. Of course I don't know what drugs you do. But unfortunately some people are intolerant of any drug use and believe that if anyone does any drugs, it is a problem. You've just got to be comfortable in your own skin, with your own path. My family (my mom anyway) is religious, and I have shared with her a few of my trips, many years after I did them, and she respected my experiences, I described to her how they moved me from an nihilistic, atheistic viewpoint (which she was concerned about) to my spiritual path, which is certainly not Christian but which she can respect. I do not choose to share the extent of my continuing use of psychedelics... she knows I do them from time to time but I think she would be worried about me if she knew the reality of it. But I am not worried about me, so I find no need to worry her. Parents, family and friends express concern out of their own views, and that concern in a valid and caring form of love for you. Whether it is misguided or not, it's something they feel, which I why I feel there is no need to share if it will just bring grief. Just show them through your happiness and energy that you're in a good place, and they'll see it, unblinded by their preconceptions.