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10days clean

OLD.GREGGGGG

OLD.GREGGGGG

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 4, 2012
Messages
193
Location
South jersey
So about two weeks ago i lost my connect and with that came the choice to look for another or suffer the loss of something i enjoy greatly. But since then i havent used a single opiate. I felt like shit for a while and i still do a little bit. I have started to use other substances more than normal and drink way more than before but neither of these seem to be out of control. hopefully i dont end up craving Dope ever again. That shit ruins your soul.
 
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hopefully you don't end up trading one addiction for another. i am going to send this to the dark side, they have a supportive community for people who are recovering from addictions... i edited the last part of you post tho. TDS has a strict rule about triggering language such as saying what you are currently using.
 
I hope you can quit altogether. I was never able to just drink or smoke weed it always led me back to H- as it did for many others I know. Good job with quitting the opiates. But be careful it is a slippery slope you do not want to become an alcoholic instead.
 
Some people are able to just smoke weed or drink, and with others, they can't. Personally, the first time I detoxed, smoking weed helped alot with withdrawls, but in the end it just brought me back to using opiates. Yet, I have a friend of mine who overcame opiate addiction and recreationally uses weed and has been clean of opiates for a few years.
Have you tried NA? In the beggining it was really hard, as sitting in a room talking about our addictions was incredibly triggering for me, but gradually it got easier. You should look into it, if you havent already. It's helped alot for me. Although I'm still not clean, I'm working on it (shitty attempt at justification of my behaviors haha).
 
You didn't lose your fight, just one battle. Try again. The last sentence of your original post should help you get your strength back. You know what you need to do, the knowledge and the strength is already inside you, you just need support. It makes sense to go back to what seems to be easier when things get hard but you know that "easier" is a lie. Easy is not having anything control your life but you. I wish you all the luck in the world but luck is just one factor and it is the only one outside of your control. What you need is to listen to all the positive voices inside rather than the self-defeating negative ones. I wish you ease and acceptance and humbleness and strength and yes, luck.<3
 
Sorry to hear about your recent relapse, old Greg.
But you have proven to yourself that you can live without it.
Best thing to do is prepare yourself for another attempt :)
Don't beat yourself up too bad!
I have faith in you :)
 
Eyes On the Roll said:
10 days is nothing dude, not to be blunt or anything, but that's really not shit. I'm almost on 4 months, and I don't even count the days anymore because I know I'm past that. If you break now, you're weak, and you will continue breaking.
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You clearly do not have the "addict gene/make up" if you think 10 days isn't shit. I also think its funny how you "dont count days anymore" but know youre almost on 4 months.

You're using time clean to gague how weak/strong a person is? Really? Pretty fucked up and judgmental IMO, 2 things an Ex addict should not engage in. You obviously have no idea how hard it is if you just upped and quit. Relapses are common (~90% of (heroin) addicts relapse at one point or another) and not a sign of weakness or continued breaking.

@OLD.GREGGGG: don't worry about this guy. Judgements on addiction coming from an ex addict is like hitler criticizing someone who kills jews: retarded and ironic. Don't worry man, I slipped up quite a few times and relapsed once or twice. Last time I used was......ages ago. Not years, but at least half a year ( I really do not count days, Eyes...); in fact the only reason I know my last slip up date was because I sent a message to someone about getting shit then....i've been working my program since Dec man.

Just takes HARD WORK and DEDICATION, has nothing to do with "weakness" as this guy is saying. Stay strong dude I know for that first month or two even a couple days off is not easy. Stay strong, as herb said: you've only lost 1 battle, not the war. Sooner you remember that sooner you can get back to fighting.
 
I say this frequently, but... get up... brush the dirt off your shoulders... and keep taking those steps towards a better you (even if they are just teeny tiny baby steps). Relapse, when framed properly, is one of the best learning experiences that one can have. Especially those that have struggled or do struggle with chemical dependency/self-medication.

Keep trying... going off and using a ton of other substances very likely didn't help. Now, I am not one to shun using a few benzos and/or alcohol during an opiate withdrawal... however, the problem is that people tend to over-use them. Its really a fine line. What is most important is that you make up your mind to quit.

Also, be aware that it is very common for opiate addicts to switch over to booze. I will admit, that if you keep it to alcohol and only alcohol then it can feel like you are doing "good". Thing is, you will have to pay the piper at some point and many go back to opiates to "just for a few days, to help them get off". Well you know how that goes. It is a really vicious cycle.

And when you do get over the worst of the withdrawal, I would at least take some time off all non-prescribed substances. Most would say at least a month. Best of luck too you.
 
It's one day at a time my friend. Best of luck, I ended up using and getting clean more times than i can count. It gets better, the first 2 weeks fucking blow, but it gets a lot better after all that. I promise. I love ya bud, through all these struggles comes great success as my ex used to say. I'm 7 and a half month clean and I can tell you the health comes back exponentially, at first it's kinda slow but once the physical side goes away things get better a lot more quickly. Just keep us posted, stay on bluelight all day if you got to chatting with us, I know I was on the BL forum for days when I was dopesick before just cruising the forums.
 
I just UAed a couple of posts in here that were way out of line. As always, but especially as always in TDS, we are here for each other to encourage, lend an ear, commiserate, empathize, constructively challenge, gently question, sympathize and otherwise lend our support to each other. We are not here to name call, dicksize, shame, or otherwise undermine someone's attempt at quitting. Let's keep this thread civil and remember why Bleulight and The Dark side exist.

OLD.GREGGG, I hope that you are back to your resolve. How's it going?
 
Thanks to all of you who care. I appreciate it greatly. I feel like garbage for using this stuff again cuz it hurts anyone who cares about you. Even if ya dont see it it does. And im not trying to hurt anyone or make anyone mad. Im thankful to have peope online who care enough to show some support and sympathy. ive stopped drinking and using other drugs and fell back to the stuff i wanted to get away from instead. its horible and you guys are right about it being a cycle. You start to hate something so you try something new. And then that becomes a problem and before ya notice it you are broke and selling your own goods to buy whatever you can get. i hate that feeling of helplessness. When its me doing what i apparently wantd to do? idk if i am making sense.
Thanks for curbing that EYES guys comment, he set me off a lil and sorry if i violated and terms or rules on this site. i dont want to do that. i love you guys. all of ya.
 
Dope is bad, and you will crave it.. trust me. But from personal experience, the physical withdrawals are the worst. After about a month, you will forget you were ever even addicted to opiates. Kratom is always nice though. About 2 months in I suddenly developed insane cravings for oxy.. in my dreams, and in real life. I used 114 grams of kratom to quell these cravings. Ever since then I have felt nothing but strength. It really feels good to kick something so powerful, and it boots your ego and your confidence.
 
I wouldn't listen to that guy ^^ Kratom was the one thing that sent me back to heroin in the first place. Yes, i have heard it can be used to deal with cravings. But for me it was the complete opposite. I had not used opiates in 5 months but was still drinking/smoking. Well i was trying to do some shortcuts while still achieving that opiate high. Have heard about kratom for a long time and finally went and bought some. It was a tease. Like a vic high and maybe a lil nod here and there but i had to eat a shit ton of it and it just made me crave the real deal. Sooner or later i got back on the junk. Ive realized now that in order for me to stay clean i have to abstain from all drugs and alcohol. Anything mood and mind altering.
 
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